₦airaland Forum

Cookie14:
Easier said than done. If a man demands for shared Bill's he should also demand for shared maintenance of the house chores,afterall the so called vacuum,washing machine you mentioned wont operate by themselves. The basic thing is men and women should use their brain when going into marriage,if a man treats u right he wont have to demand for it...
Yes my husband always have the final say,doesn't mean I dont have an opinion of my own.

shared maintenance of the house chores is not a big deal at all. I will gladly do those but the woman must bring some money because im not her slave.....

[quote author=sharone21 post=107477817][/quote]If the purpose of marriage is for women to cash out then na i ain't doing. It's 50-50 unless I voluntarily make it 60-40 but that's grace....

[quote author=sharone21 post=107477817][/quote]True love needs to come from the woman first then the man reciprocated...

[quote author=sharone21 post=107477817][/quote]Proof of being a help meet is in bringing cash...it's also a demonstration of love to the man. I can wash plates and wash children's clothes too...

sharone21:
Why marry a man then? A woman with such lazy man who has no self respect will do better on HER own till her OWN rib comes( that man is NOT hers....women please, don't be blindly desperate to marry)...You want woman to sweat it for the man to dey flex around with girlfriends since he has so much extra change? ( lol).... Kolewerk....

I have said it that Nairaland is full of boys...even if your wife earns more and wants to do more, this initial oversabi will not allow that coupled with not pampering it.....

I guess u need to get into the labour room to see what women go through and BLEED as some babies come to the world breeched( birth positions aside from the normal cephalic head position)... Giving birth alone is LIFE & DEATH....As one man of God put it some years back,' if men were told to have kids, na by force them go do am...highest 1 kid'( lol)... Since everything is 50-50, the man must give birth or pay a surrogate, so both man and woman can dedicate their fresh bodies for work.

Peace.

1. As for baby, the woman wants the baby too. And as for pain of pregnancy that's a curse God put on her so it's not the man's fault.

2. As a man, I can do 100% for only 12 months due to child birth after that its back to 50-50.

sharone21:
Your guy was SELFISH and doesn't know what it means to be a MAN, husband and father... Fatherhood actually is selflessness ( i dont know what boys interprete fatherhood to be) and a woman is a h-e-l-p-e-r to a man...
I repeat 50-50 should not be enforced on a woman unless the man will carry the pregnancy and give birth to their kids apart from chores since the man wan open eye.

It takes 2 fools to make marriage work. If the woman earns more and wants to do more than whatever she was previously doing fine since they are both partners in progress BUT this should not make the man not to man up and pamper her with gifts, outings to make her happy.... That is where an African man misses it.

Why shouldn't being a mother be selfless? she doesn't know what it means to be a mother.

50-50 should be enforced on a woman at all times and if she's doesn't want she should go and find another man and the man finds a woman that wants 50-50. Shekina. There's no long sermon in evening service.

As for carrying pregnancy, doesn't the woman want the baby too? It's her baby too. Unless the man should do 100% provision for 9 months (equivalent of pregnancy) and then afterwards it reverts to 50-50.

A woman being a help meet means 50% from her.

Legendoo:
No sir, it's black women.

They want us to remain traditional men but want to be feministic at the same time.

A typical White women understands sharing bills and responsibilities. I mean Europeans not those white Americans.

Oh now I get you. You are right....

Legendoo:
Biggest issue abroad..

Those kids on here think marriage is about cheating and sex.

How to delegate bills and responsibilities are the biggest reasons for break up, mostly with black women. You know African mentality with feminism never works.

It's nor black women it's ALL WOMEN.

yrex01:
Nice development but that won't stop epileptic power situation in nigeria not until we stop
these people we call government recycling em self. Instead we still have unfortunate youths defending em even picking sides smh.

incase you don't know, a single dam in niger state supply constant power for niger, Benin n Ghana (gh now independent) in that Niger state nigeria still have 3 more hydropower system that can stop the power ish we facing but no, these people will never encourage it.

we don't deserve to belong to developing nation, we should belong to 4th world country

Please stop saying negative things about yourself and about Africa....

eazzzy1:
Definitely, no adult can be forced to do anything they don’t want to do. The man also can’t be forced to fully take care of the home or to contribute more than his wife is bringing to the table. If the wife was living alone wouldn’t she sort 100% of the bill despite being economically disadvantaged?

If a man decides to take full responsibility for the bills it should be seen as a favour to the woman, not as a responsibility.

Let me tell you a long story, a friend of mine was working as call centre agent, he was making $34k per year, his wife worked in a bank and made $76k per year. They were splitting bills and chores. The guy was sponsoring himself to school too in hope for a better job.

Soon the guy got a job in a firm with $90k salary. The next month his wife asked him how they were splitting the bills, he responded with nothing has changed, same old same old.

The next month after that she asked again, he repeated his response and that’s when she went gaga, she said if he wasn’t going to man-up she had no need for him. Family got involved, the guy said she was earning double what he earned and bills were split equally, now he’s earning just slightly above her and she wants to change the formula.

Family then advised that they share bills on a percentage of income basis. The couple reluctantly agreed, after the meeting, the wife insisted that he paid the rent $2k while she takes care of food and water, electricity etc $500.

Long story short, they got divorced. Moral of my story; most women will not do for a man what a man would do for them. If my guy was the one earning 76k while his wife earned 34k, he would have been solely responsible for the bills, he would not have been splitting bills equally with her.

What was the bill splitting formula before he got the new job?

Pataricatering:
loooooooooooooooooool - pls don't be silly - if you are the head of the home then you had better be putting up 100% of the bills in that home - you can't be a patriarch without paying patriarchy bills , my man.

I can pay 100% of thr bills under these conditions: no nagging, no quarrels, no arguments every day, ability to send her packing when I can no longer afford her.
... then the girl must hv a body count of less than 5 prior to marriage.

It's all about "is the arrangement a good deal"?....

Why should I pay 100% and every day quarrels etc plus she has even been used by prior niggas for free??

Pataricatering:
lol , be deceiving yourself there - the time for all this head of home nonsense is over - you can't try it with girls nowadays.

Actually the man is the head of the home. It is a man that marries a woman and invites her to live with him. A woman can be sent packing anytime. If a woman is young then yes I agree the man is the head of the home is crap. But as she gets older she gets less attention and therefore has no other options that letting the man be thr head of the home....unless she wants to live alone....

Pataricatering:
lol , be deceiving yourself there - the time for all this head of home nonsense is over - you can't try it with girls nowadays.

Actually the man is the head of the home. It is a man that marries a woman and invites her to live with him. A woman can be sent packing anytime. If a woman is young then yes I agree the man is the head of the home is crap. But as she gets older she gets less attention and therefore has no other options that letting the man be thr head of the home....

Peacefulgold:
Op you are still leaving in d stone age ...
U never hear ..future is female ...

Another good point...if the future is female then why can't she contribute some cash to house hold expenses....

Qatar2022:
But you people want equal rights but when it come to bill you start talking trash

Solid point. I believe a true test of a woman is a woman that can contribute. Any woman that can't contribute is a selfish and bad woman.

About equality. It has always been equality so long as it's convenient for them....

Shegzy8:
Why digressing. You’re already saying something different. We are talking about the home and you’re talking about what affects women.

If or when a woman is pregnant, it is the duty of the man to help out as much as possible in all ways (pregnancy ain’t easy).

So far a woman works, she must have her financial input in the home. Hence, why is she working?

And do you really thing men have things easy also? There are so many scenery where women gets a pass just cause they are women. With the same qualification, skill and IQ in a non physical field, a woman has a higher chance of success than a man.

I read a new where a couple lost a child who was sick, they had the hospital bill to pay but the man was finding it hard to raise it all. The woman had the money but felt it was the mans duty to pay. They lost the child and the man found out she had the money in her bank account.

My question is “what does a married woman do with her salary”?

I’ll prefer marrying a full house wife with no financial input than a working class with no financial input.

The second question is why did she go to school if she knows she will still be depending on a man....

Shegzy8:
Why digressing. You’re already saying something different. We are talking about the home and you’re talking about what affects women.

If or when a woman is pregnant, it is the duty of the man to help out as much as possible in all ways (pregnancy ain’t easy).

So far a woman works, she must have her financial input in the home. Hence, why is she working?

And do you really thing men have things easy also? There are so many scenery where women gets a pass just cause they are women. With the same qualification, skill and IQ in a non physical field, a woman has a higher chance of success than a man.

I read a new where a couple lost a child who was sick, they had the hospital bill to pay but the man was finding it hard to raise it all. The woman had the money but felt it was the mans duty to pay. They lost the child and the man found out she had the money in her bank account.

My question is “what does a married woman do with her salary”?

I’ll prefer marrying a full house wife with no financial input than a working class with no financial input.

I like yr last paragraph. A working wife with no input is using you.

NoToPile:
Loool so it has now been translated to if I foot the bills I have all the sole authority, oya foot first.

Some are even saying its what makes men die before their time.


All of them neatly dodged the nurturing role of the woman, she will share bills and also nurture everyone.

Check out a woman who makes money and also does all the house work alone , she might even die faster than the man who only provides money only.

You guys should choose a side and stick to it.

You want her to split bills oya split chores to naw, no their ego won't allow it (this same ego doesn't follow them abroad ooothey do all chores possible) its the female can can provide money abi.

male Primary role - Provide

Female Primary role - nurture

The boys want the females to share in their role but don't want to share the female role. Its not possible naaw. Their hypocrisy was exposed on that Toks2008 thread.

All the NL boys shouting how many of them can comfortably feed their family without the wife's input.

Just provision Oo, NL boys will be whining up and down when women have been providing and taking care of the home for a long time.

Which kind yeye nurture? I can nurture too...

sharone21:
You are right but the part u said bills should be split equally CANNOT be forced...Or during pregnancy and child bearing, u will help her carry it or help her pay a surrogate?
I believe in partnership in marriage and a wife supporting her husband and if God blesses her more, even be the breadwinner while the man helps out...but understand that unlike men who are not bugged down by child birthing and care which takes a chunk of a woman's life and economic wellbeing, many women have lost opportunities of more progressive promotions at their places of work and subsequently are at the lower rung of life financially.
There must be balance and each home is uniquely different.

It is obvious that a woman can't work when she is pregnant.... I think women shouldn't work during pregnancy and in the 12 months after the pregnancy.

But a woman must contribute money at all other times. Anything short of that is tantamount to being used by the woman in the name of marriage.

muheeb01:
It's everywhere oo,the economy is that bad,naira is becoming useless day by day

any little thing you touch N10k. it's terrible!

Slavishbenin:
This is exactly why men are no longer getting married. Taking care of a grown up adult as if the woman is incapacitated. Tueh, I just hope with this you will be submissive like a real slave you are

not only is the woman grown up but she done suck different cocks tire for free, she don receive fukk from so many different guys in the peak of her prime and swallowed after bjs.... and those all other guys got all that for free! and now you have the expenses of taking care of an adult and footing expensive bills in the name of marriage - whats in it for me?

Traditional marriage worked because men had reward - their was something in it for them - girls kept themselves and were also productive in farms etc....

no free handouts to women.

sparko1:
My one and only question is, do you as a man really need to marry, all this crap is for a married man.

Just ridiculous, chasing after something that is completely to your disadvantage, Do you really have to get married

Very good and rational question.... "society" dictates it but who is society?

Ykc2:
you never live for western world to know what is splitting of bills,even for Finland man don follow dey do maternity leave if his wife born,you still dey go slow brain wey dey make people crase for naija

Don't mind these Nigerians. We are in the 21st century.... there's even feminist drives these days for women to get good jobs etc.

I'm no one's slave. A woman gast bring something.

wunmi590:
Nobody is saying the woman will not have a say, what we are saying is that husband should stop forcing their wives to split bills, bill is the sole responsibility of the husband....

My wife pay bills, she buy fuel in her car, it was suppose to be my responsibility, because I gave her the car, but she does it at her own will....

Bill is not the sole responsibility of the husband this is the 21st century....and I don't care what holy books say. A woman must contribute because I'm not her dad. So after footing 100% I would still tolerate their selfish attitudes....

Offpoint1:
It's very necessary for us to tame it, firstly for our safety health wise and to that of our partners.

Just robbing boobs and kissing doesn't lead to infections does it?

seanjy4konji:
Be very careful of that gender,,very very careful....Dont do them favors without getting any return as well...They wont do you any favor unless you have money as well so treat them as such...

Sho ra fun obirin..Olu wa a wa pelue oooo

They won't do you any favor unless you have money or there is something else they are gaining from you such as sex, safety, comfort in addition to money.

seanjy4konji:
Most of nigerian women marry for the comfort of spending another mans money while keeping theirs...even get mad when he spends on his brothers and sisters...

They want to be called Mrs Rich man wife and put their burdens on him knowing he will go to hell and bacj to provide for his family as a good man he his but they will pay him back by lieing to visit parents or sorts to enjoy dick with past boyfriends and LovePeddler aroud while he is workin his ass off..

They are selfish bastards know this and know peace.

You have spoken nothing but the truth....when you read stories of men who murrder their wives, this is why.... extreme selfishness on the part of the women/wives....

Offpoint1:
No matter how satisfying your partner is, you'll get tired of them at a point and want to explore.
This happens to EVERYONE, some have the ability to control themselves and while others don't have.

Cheating has nothing to do with sexual satisfaction, it has everything to do with our animal instincts.

Even as a single a guy, the urge to have sex with all women that meets my sexual fantasy or physical sexual attraction is always high and the temptation strong... but I had to weigh the consequence to the pleasure ration and realized it doesn't worth it.... not everyone have that ability to tame their animal instincts.

Why should we tame our animal instincts?? We should only tame it to the extent that it doesn't lead to sin. I like the fact that you used the words "animal instinct".... because if you analyze male and female human behavior, you would see that we are really in the animal kingdom....

And what if not taming the animal instincts is what will lead to finding a partner?

simplesearch:
If only we know there won't be sex and marriage in heaven, the immoral obsession with sex to the point of divorcing or cheating on your partner will reduce. The primary purpose of marriage is companionship not sex, not procreation. If only we accept this, wonder how someone will agree to spent his/her eternity in the lake of fire because of sexual fantasy, whose enjoyment rarely last more than a couple of minutes at the most.

And why should having sex lead to lake of fire? These are nonsense Christianity uses to threaten people. Adultery (you promised your wife or husband exclusivity but renege) can lead to hell but I see nothing wrong with two consenting friends satisfying themselves....marriage today isn't how it was in Bible times and appropriate adjustment needs to be made. Sleeping with a prostitute is a sin tho.

Two consenting adults who know themselves and have a consenting encounter aren't harming anyone and I see nothing wrong with it. How does two adults who know themselves enjoying themselves and have a connection offend God? What if their encounter leads to the sought marriage?

Grandmeister:
You're naive. No matter how many leg shaking orgasm you give a woman during or after courting she will cheat when she wants to. And she will cheat with somenone even less skilled in bed. If you provide all the financial services she needs she will chest with the excuse of you not satisfying her sexually. And when you perform well she will cheat with the excuse of not having financial comfort..and when you provide both she will cheat with the excuse of being neglected.

They are quite good at generating excuses, blaming men and finding a way to rationalize their evil.

lalasticlala:
As shared by Osaretin Victor Asemota @asemota



https://twitter.com/asemota/status/1457269112082767874

Welcome to Nigeria where nothing works, everyone is lax and corrupt but all collectively shout of each president "President xyz is a disaster", "the mannequin in aso rock"

kenchop:
Very true , but mind you the reverse is also the same , it's better a man stays single than marry and still cheat on the wife . It's difficult to understand why people do that.

Women get married on the verge of expiration. they are only getting married because they are about to expire (except the church ones). And married men typically get married in their prime 30-50 and are yet to play the field.