₦airaland Forum

PassingShot:
The whole world is tired of Mr. Clueless' Cluelessness.

Buhari's regime wasn't perfect but was far more effective. Whatever mistakes he made was out of being over ambitious to rescue Nigeria and not for any personal gains.

As a democratic president, he cannot be as brutish as a military head of state with all the checks and balances in place. And once corruption is cut to the barest level we will soon begin to see progress in every aspect of our economy.

Gmb has an encouragingly massive online support. I pray it translates to election results. may the power of incumbency not prevail. no rigging plz.

freeman191:
Source: [url]top10ng.com/top-10-misconceptions-yoruba-tribe/[/url]

damn it!
dont try those ijebu and ago iwoye ppl
I served there.
What I saw!
I had 1000naira note and 70 naira
I took a taxi from ijebu igbo to ago iwoye
the fare is 80 naira
the man didnt accept the 70 box
instead we got to the car park. he moved from store to store looking for change. at last he took 10 naira tom tom from one seller and offered her the 1000naira.
I was shocked beyond words.
many other incidences though.
their beggars look like mad ppl.
some beggars ive seen in benin and lagos have gold chains, bank accounts and some extra change.

martineverest:
Yoruba re dirty,dey are not brave,dey no dey shame to beg and cant cook......i dont like generalising,but my xperience with yoruba ppl during nysc service(ibadan) and at school(uniben) just made me conlude on dose.
However,yoruba ppl are polite,united, cooperative and least sentimental in national issue....ibadan women re beautiful(black beauty) and curvy
the positive side of yoruba ppl are actually d negative side of my tribe (edo).edo re generally rude and proud espescially benin

my exact experience.
theyre so respectful that I wish to settle in the west.
their old women are nice.
unlike edo women that are rude and aggressive.

ohaleoghene:
no ,he doesn't have a gf abroad. I guarantee you that ,and he has been keeping himself too. we have been for six year and there is no case of cheating or lies

proove it.

hey wait!
you said?
brothers shot dead?
over bread?
shaking my head!
I wonder when all this will end.
politics turned the streets red.
people dying like hens.
yet we fold our arms and cross our legs
if you ask me if its time for a change il say YES!

fucklikant101:
HOMEBOY: This name is for a young man (now 20ish) who spent the bulk of his teenage years fantasizing about life in America. He can tell you all the scenes from New Jack City, White men can't jump, Poetic Justice and 8 Mile. He spent his teenage years folding up one leg of his pair of dirty baggy jeans and walking like he's on the moon. Today, he enjoys his kind of smoke and talking about how life would have been for him in Yankee or Jandon.

MY GUY: You will be called my guy if you are fond of sharing drinks/cigarettes with your other guys in the evenings. All you guys get to talk about is the latest car that drove along Allen in Ikeja or Cocaine Avenue in Festac. The first thing you ask your friends every time you meet them is "how farrr? Sometimes you waste a hell of a time talking about chicks.

CHICKS/BABES: Young men usually talk about chicks when they mean pretty girls. All they ever wanted is to sleep with chicks without showing them respects. It is not certain why men think that they must see beneath the skirt of every girl they call a chick or babe.


PADDY MI/EEYAN MI: The strictly Yoruba people's version of my guy. But here, the gist is more about Tinubu, LASTMA, Councillors, latest pictures in OVATION and Adenuga.

SHORTY: A global nickname for short girl or boy. Usually friendly and funny person but very quick to let his/her presence known by being loud. On a close encounter, a Shorty can be mean and wicked. In Nigeria, it is forbidden to curse or address people using their disorders but people do it anyway. They think it's fun.

BABA GIGA: reserved for an abnormally tall boy but instead of being a curse, it sounds cool. Baba giga can be a very useless person. He goes around with his obvious height misbehaving and attracting attention for the sake of been yelled at-BABA GIGA!

AKOWE: Definitely a Yoruba boy most likely from the rural area who came to town for the purpose of completing his education. Realities will make that impossible and he would end up been a vulcanizer or a carpenter. Because of his small stature, a lot of people don't know he is about 27 years old and that he has been secretly dating Bisi, the girl who sells Ewa Aganyi. Bisi's bulging stomach means Akowe must find a one room in face-me-I-face-you house. For other people, your in-law can call you Akowe with the serious hope that your visit (to her relief) is temporary.

NNA: An Igbo boy who is not popular by his name but very well known to be loud. People think that he is funny either by the way he talks which reveals that he is an Igbo boy or by the way he dresses because he is full of colour riots. Nna finds it fashionable to wear sunshade glasses in the late evenings.

Yoruba-Yoruba: A Yoruba boy probably new from the village. This boy speaks Yoruba to everybody regardless of whom they are or where they come from. To him, Yoruba is a universal language and you must be stupid not to know his language accompanied by a thick accent. Sometimes, other people fall into this category when they are lumped together by tribal sentiments of non-Yoruba people. "No mind dem; dem don use their ngbatingbati to scatter everything"! Useless Yoruba people, Shonekan Abiola, Obasanjo dem!

ABOKI: This man is usually from the north or from Niger Republic. In his eyes, Lagos is London. He goes home every other year with a lot of money which he earned selling water. The irony of his business venture is that the water belongs to the people he is selling it to. This people from Lagos (his own London) don't mind as long as the water comes anyhow. Sometimes this guy is like a security man (again this gives him greater pride) but the problem is that when there is religious riot, this Aboki does not mind to kill his landlord (an ordinary infidel!). An Aboki can become an industrialist if he spends a long time in Lagos. He could own a small kiosk or a make shift supermarket. Sometimes, he pretends to be a security man when in fact he has sold out as an informant. Don't ever argue with this man, he is known to have killed a student of Yaba Tech on 21 Road just because of ordinary N5 change! He is always armed!

OLOYE: A Yoruba man who is not rich but whose friends have decided to console him by calling him Oloye just to make him feel good. Oloye is fond of wearing a funny version of the Agbada dress-Danshiki. He thinks high of himself. Actually, Oloye could be rich but his riches are very temporary. He is dubious, always looking for contract that he doesn't intend to complete before moving on to the next one. Oloye likes women too much.

EGBON: This man is a good listener. He talks last as if that is what everybody has been waiting for. For real, the younger people around want to listen to him. He is older and assumed to be wiser. He pretends to be full of experience. If anyone is called Egbon in Lagos, tendencies are that such a person has not made it. Otherwise instead of Egbon, he would say please don't call me Egbon, call me Mr.T or Big-K.

CHAIRMAN: A chairman is someone who has no direction and he is suffering from self-deceit. People call him chairman because of what they anticipate to get from him. He thinks he is the richest man in his group but in reality he is been made to foolishly drop more than he can afford. He gets home and quarrels with his wife and shouts on his children. He blames it on tiredness and stress when all he needed to do is to stop himself from been called chairman or he should stop acting like it. Sometimes, a chairman thinks he is the lord of the boys who pretends to be serving him. If your friend is calling you chairman especially on the phone, tell him to stop it because he is mocking you. This Chairman is called Chief by his neighbours. Behind his back, it sounds more like thief or mischief.

MR. CHAIRMAN: This is the original chairman who heads a company or a renowned association. His children are in the boarding houses or on campus. They may even be abroad so there are no kids to shout on. Mr. Chairman could be a dubious contractor or a politician enjoying looted funds. He could as well be a decent man rewarded for his hard work. Who knows?

BROS: Someone who does not realize he is getting old, so he is acting foolishly. Bros is almost invariably jobless or he claims to be self-employed. He could even tell you that he has some boys working for him. Bros is usually the first born male in his house of many children, cousins, and other extended family members. Everybody looks up to him even if his examples are extremely bad. He hides his laziness by pretending to be a mentor.

ALAYE: This guy is a nuisance to the society. They call him Alaye because he takes what is not his and he fights when he is least concerned about the matter at hand. He dropped out of class 2 and has been controlling the area bus stop since he was 17. He is not a full time areaboy or agbero because there are many other useless things he must occupy himself with otherwise he may lose the title of Alaye. Alaye usually goes together with the name like Alaye Femo, Alaye Taju, Alaye Muyisco and so on. Alaye's eyes are usually red. I don't know why.

OGBOLOGBO: A synonym for Alaye but you can receive a beating of your life if you address an Alaye as Ogbologbo to his face. It sounds less dignifying for him. You must respect him.

BABA LONDON: Most likely a Yoruba man who had spent some parts of his life in the UK (might even be outside London or the US) but people just call him Baba London anyhow. All that matters is that he has been abroad for a time too long for the neighbours liking. This man is now settled in Lagos and he owns a two-storey building near Lawanson area. He is the landlord and caretaker at the same time. He does not tolerate indebtedness otherwise he is quick to tell you about his exploits in the oyinbo's man civil service. His children are definitely back in the UK considering the un-conducive living conditions in Nigeria. He and his wife live in his second house near Adekunle Bus-stop where they also have some tenants downstairs.

LAYABOUT: This guy is very famous in the University environment. He comes in different shades. There is one of him that is a very conning guy because while most people see him as unserious, he knew in himself that he is a serious person. He attends every show on campus and there is nothing going on that he doesn't get a wind of. He is attracted to all the girls around and he sees lecture times as the longest periods of the day. At the end of the semester, this conning layabout excels in his studies sometimes even better than the effecos. He had been studying at odd times. There is a type of layabout that gets blown away by everything that makes him a layabout and his carry-overs speak volumes. He ends up with an extra year or more!

EFFECO: A university language reserved for the bookworms. An effeco usually has no social life and he alienates himself from the school. His types pass through the school without allowing the school to pass through them. An effeco is not necessarily the best or the most intelligent student in his or her class. He doesn't talk much for fear of losing all that he had stored in his cerebrum. That could explain the difference between an intelligent mind and an ordinary effeco.

NFA: A secondary school version of layabout. This guy is late to school, late to lessons, doesn't wash his uniform regularly and for the most has a serious apathy for books. All he wanted is just to finish secondary school. He knows how to bribe teachers and invigilators during examinations but how to go about this under NECO, WAEC and GCE are great puzzles for him. He must find a way or just fail anyhow. He doesn't care much. In his mind, he would try football. If that does not work out, he would ask Chike how to use the yahoo email that has brought Chike so much money working under Chairman.

GODFATHER: A name usually reserved for illiterates or semi-literates who stumbled on money because of the corrupt nature of Nigerian politics. A godfather is violent and ruthless and he has the power to produce election results before the Election Day. A godfather usually talks before thinking.

LEPA: Usually a skinny girl who likes to make some funny tiptoeing when walking around with her bony body. This girl is highly breakable and if folded, she can fit into a carton of green sand shandy.

OROBO: a very fat and sweaty girl. Many men who call orobo as if to detest her are actually her secret admirers. They wish they could lay her in bed. Orobo, though fat, is very agile and brisk in her movement. Her chest is huge and her backside is mountainous but she is proud of her natural endowments. In appreciation for these features, some Nigerian men would give their right hand for an Orobo wife. It's true!

MAMA APATI: This woman could be young or old but her fatness is not refined like that of Orobo. Mind your language: don't go about calling an old woman mama apati! Her children could resurrect from nowhere just to use your broad nose to sharpen a blunt knife.

OMOBA: this is the fakest prince in Nigeria. A Yoruba or Edo boy who lives under the illusion of his nickname-the king's son. Sometimes he behaves like babagiga by attracting unnecessary attention to himself. Don't believe a word this boy tells you because he spends most part of the day visualizing the lies people can swallow easily.

PRINCESS: The female version of Omoba. At 17, this girl will realize the foolhardiness of her name which has almost turned her into a prostitute. The biggest challenge before she turns 20 is how to tell everyone, especially her name admirers that her real name is Jumoke.

PEPPERLESS: This is a name made popular at Yaba Tech. The male students address some of their female counterparts as pepperless because they talk from their nose and pretend like they don't visit the toilets. Tell an alumnus of Yaba Tech to mimic a pepperless, you'll get a good laugh with your head spinning.

OPEKE: Quite similar to pepperless but Opeke shows less concern for education. She would rather show herself on the street shaking her body and turning her painted face from side to side. Baba Fryo sang well about Opekes in dem go dey pose, dem go dey denge denge.

BOMBOY: Most likely an Igbo boy. Unless you are in the same class as this boy, you'll only get to know his real name when he is about 20 years. Bomboy will be careless as a teenager and he will glow with excitement just to match the sound of his funny nickname. He will be stubborn and always thinking that you have no right to tell him what to do just because you are older than him. At 20, having failed JAMB thrice and with his growing interests in girls, he will realize his fictitious past and the childishness of his name. Now, he is going to insist that everyone calls him Chuwkuka-his real name and then he will start to be more respectful and more serious with everything he does from now on.

O-BOY! : How a family will name their son interjectively is unclear but imagine that the couple wanted a girl and yet another stubborn boy arrived. This guy is like Bomboy but less glowing and more respectful. If you probe him in a friendly manner, he will tell you the story of his birth, the reason for his nickname and his real name-Godson. Everything he does is to give his parents a reason to like him since they were not expecting him in the family. He is God's son and still his younger brother is Godswill. This boy will show his real self when he gets to the University.

BABY: A man and a woman will name their daughter BABY if in their eyes, the girl looks similar to the doll they had seen through the transparent glass that protects Kingsway Stores in Ikoyi. Baby has round head with big eyes just exactly like the toy in the shop. At 25 years of age, Baby still thinks that her name is cool.

IGWE: This is supposed to be a respected title in Igboland but one miscreant in Lagos who is finding it hard to lay his hands on money acquired the nickname as a consolation.

OTUNBA: The Yoruba people's version of Igwe. If your family name is Otunba for real or you have been given this title because of your positive contribution to your community, you don't want to meet the man who is called Otunba just because his friends want him to be happy. If you do, you'll give him a dirty slap. All his attributes are a taint to the name Otunba.

Source: http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/view-from-scandinavia/some-nigerian-nicknames-and-their-social-implications.html

nairalanders you guys are hoarding his likes right? youre keeping it for sai buhari posts.

softysparky:
Na chinko phone.

is that building at the back of the 7star hotel in dubai?

softysparky:
91 and still counting.

is that phone im seeing on ur profile pix a samsung galaxy s4?

softysparky:
But they are not shy to fvck

oh! aren't they? that means you fvck?

softysparky:
The same way you run around and fvck others is exactly the same way people fvck that your special one and go back to their own special ones.
That your special one you hold in high esteem is someone else's side chick
So don't think you are smart.

I thought girls are shy to say fvck?

Renylee:
It is always advisable to leave the past where it belongs.

NO!

[quote author=oldbrain post=30324604][/quote]old school.
do people still toast girls where you live?
what colour is the sun where you live?

oga soja! no go there begin ban everything oh! as we dey see u so. u go ban rice ban chicken ban bread ban motor ban jeans ban oyibo sef. abeg oh!

[quote author=j4sure post=30361397][/quote]how far guy. how I fit learn dat stuff?

eyinjuege:
Sharia permits polygamy. Of course before marrying another wife you are allowed to court them. Provided you dont have intercourse.

read before you quote.
dont be a keypad happy nairalander like a trigger happy police.

jemimaa01:
I don't even want to read the post...there is no excuse for dating a married man,except of cos u want to ruin your future...imagine a wife who is faithful to her hisband and does everything possible to make her husband happy,then you and the useless husband wld now be causing the woman heartbreak and misery....well God punish all the ladies chasing after married men knowingly.

the same people will be crying against sharia. if your neighbour was stonned to death for adultry in ur presence I dont s3e what you will love In a married man.

irishCream:
Hello Romancelanders I want to narrate my experience with online dating.

Have always been sceptical about online dating but decided to give it a try after a one year break of dating. I opted out of my previous affair because my ex's family was against him marrying from my tribe so had to end the shiiit, and i gave myself a break since he was acting so indecisive about the whole thing. Now my experience...

I am one of the few nairaland babes that do respond to pm especially if your contribution to this forum has been matured and reasonable irrespective of the section you frequent.

So of all the pms I do have, I sieve and respond to few but so far I'm not impressed with the calibre of men searching online.

After taking risk to exchange my contact and get to meet (in chaperone oh) few of them,about 3, I found out that most men searching online has something terrible about them that makes ladies turn them down in real life that's why they run to online; it is either they are unkempt, razz or not presentable. Some can't even talk like a real man, they are either too weak or timid in real life, no class no nothing.

Forget all those edited pictures used as dp and the likes most of them in real life are dirty!!!

How can a grown up guy don't know how to clean up and look neat. I mean why must your personal hygiene be zero You're meeting someone for the first time and your mouth oozes. I mean, who does that Or is that also attributed to poverty?

I have male cousins that earn less than 50k in a month but they still look neat and presentable.

Is there someone that has experienced the same, be it with male or female?

Or am I alone in this

this your grammatical blunders will be a massive turn off for an average dude earning 50k a month. maybe you should clean your glass window from where you view the world. you may realise the world is clean afterall and that its ur glass window that was dusty all the while.

Rextayne:
Click like for GMB
Click share for GEJ

the concern is power of insurgency.

the mom is a hero. she did what police and many strong men didnt dare

ShowYourCertificate:
Is Mathematics A Compulsory Requirement To Be Commissioned Into The Military?

I ask this question because Buhari's result have been released to the public and in the result he had an F9 in Mathematics.

Military Officers are meant to be knowledgeable in quantification of military hardwares and other items. For example, a colonel should know the difference between 4 armoured tanks and 1 fighter jet in terms of weight difference, volume difference, etc. The knowledge of such difference will enable the colonel plan the logistics in the transport of such hardwares from one point to another.

Also mathematical terms such a Bearing, Longitude and Lattitude, Projectiles, Trigonometry, Calculus, Matrices, Lagrange Multiplier, Statistics, etc. are common terminologies used in the military. Someone with an F9 in mathematics will definitely not be able to use such mathematical terminologies with dexterity during military warfare.

So I wonder why someone with an F9 in mathematics should be commissioned into the Military.

Perhaps that isn't Buhari's Result after all. I say this because that result appears to be fake and Buhari hasn't made any statement accepting the result as published by the Principal of his almamater. I hereby call on Buhari to either accept or reject the result as published. If he rejects it, he should do us a favour and show us his certificate (#BuhariShowYourCertificate). But If he accepts it, it means our Military actually enlisted Buhari despite failing Mathematics. If they did, was it the right thing to do?

Lets discuss

regular and short service commission require mathematics now but direct short service commissioning at the time buhari was in the military definitely didnt have mathematics as a pre-requisite. I dunno about now.

[quote author=ShowYourCertificate post=30267302]Is Mathematics A Compulsory Requirement To Be Commissioned Into The Military?

I ask this question because Buhari's result have been released to the public and in the result he had an F9 in Mathematics.

Military Officers are meant to be knowledgeable in quantification of military hardwares and other items. For example, a colonel should know the difference between 4 armoured tanks and 1 fighter jet in terms of weight difference, volume difference, etc. The knowledge of such difference will enable the colonel plan the logistics in the transport of such hardwares from one point to another.

Also mathematical terms such a Bearing, Longitude and Lattitude, Projectiles, Trigonometry, Calculus, Matrices, Lagrange Multiplier, Statistics, etc. are common terminologies used in the military. Someone with an F9 in mathematics will definitely not be able to use such mathematical terminologies with dexterity during military warfare.

So I wonder why someone with an F9 in mathematics should be commissioned into the Military.

Perhaps that isn't Buhari's Result after all. I say this because that result appears to be fake and Buhari hasn't made any statement accepting the result as published by the Principal of his almamater. I hereby call on Buhari to either accept or reject the result as published. If he rejects it, he should do us a favour and show us his certificate (#BuhariShowYourCertificate). But If he accepts it, it means our Military actually enlisted Buhari despite failing Mathematics. If they did, was it the right thing to do?

Lets discuss [/quote?
regular and short service commission require mathematics now
but direct short service commissioning at the time buhari was in the military definitely didnt have mathematics ae a pre-requisite I dunno about now.

we are gradually fanning the embers of a civil war. logic says its imminent.

danjumakolo:
www.premiumtimesng.com/news/175825-t-y-danjuma-wants-dokubo-asari-tompolo-others-arrested.html

no need to arrest that basket. let him bring it on and get humbled once and for all.

cococandy:
they can't break your home if you don't let them

you no go understand sha.

Cherrywhite:
Hmmmm....very intresting.
And the wives with a philandering husband will be lyk''God pls let him read dis''.

and guess what
he read it and clicked like
but he promises himself that after Katherine there shall no more.
but then. all things dont go the way he plams. so every January, he makes the same new year resolution. time after time. after so many years, he retires himself to some old cliches like: mans brain was wired like that, or man is made to be polygamous, or I no fit wear the same wrapper for many years, or..... just something.
its terrible.

Richiy:
Its true. They will see it as a challenge and want to prove their sexuality. God will punish all these girls that cannot keep their eyes off married men

hahahahaha.
hope you aint got no experience sha.

[quote author=hazyfm1 post=30204200][/quote]

[quote author=hazyfm1 post=30204200][/quote]that bastaad
may the flies from a thousand dead camels perch on your scrotum and may your hands be too short to scratch.

[quote author=hazyfm1 post=30204200][/quote]may the flies from a thousand dead camels perch on your scrotum and may your hands be too short to scratch.

hazyfm1:
...ignored...

better. cos I was ready for you.
this is what you should have done in the first instance.