₦airaland Forum

LadySarah:
I'm on quora and i will tell you that its members will categorically advice the woman to kick the man out of the house or call the cops on him.

Alot of you 'African'men wont even take 10 percent of What you dish out to your wives in the name of marriage.

Love indeed.You dont treat What you love badly

And then what? People keep thinking divorce is the answer to marital disagreement and hoping the future would be greener with someone else. NA LIE OH.

Divorce is a horrible and unhealthy process. Except your life is in danger, it is not an advisable route.

I noticed her marriage is freshly young. This is the budding process of getting to know each other and adapting. I dont believe in marriage counseling. If couples want to make their marriage work they can

Quora is an international site with people from different nationalities and cultures. I'm sorry if you are unaware of that.

sisisioge:
Which kind wahala be this sef!

This is the time to start looking at permanent relocation jare...Canada, Austria or anywhere else. You don't have to share information about your plans and no more babies until the dust settles. I hope you understand. Good luck.

Do you think he can take the baby without the man's input? Wishingful thinking.

I see the women warriors giving advice without asking the nature of words said during the fights. The OP is not a patient woman, same with her husband.

OP if you are reading this - it's not rosy outside either. You must know that you cannot shout at a man to get what you want. You are not his mother. When he errs, calm yourself down and talk reasonably. If your marriage breaks, it actually not your husband's fault alone but yours to share and depicts a high level of irresponsibility from both of you.

WORK ON YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE YOU SEEK CHANGE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

There is a local government that's so eager to collect levies and fines. What are they doing? There is also a state government that enjoyes collecting taxes and toll gate fees - what are they doing? This issue can be resolved easily but since its Nigeria, normal things are abnormal

The conversation seem like the lecturer has already visited the place previously.

Lordsama:
What are the chances of an immigrant who is a lawyer getting a job and PR in Canada?

Please i need the views of Nigerian lawyers practicing or working in Canada. Please this is very urgent and important.

Tough but achievable. Law is a regulated field so you need to pass the bar exams in Canada and obtained the license to practice law

Timi says he can prove it. I only wish him well because he appears to be the agenda machine of some people. My only concern is if the money was actually collected from FIRS and utilized for election. EFCC should be investigated this

That's scamming and not gold digging

Alex2020:
Good day,

Thank you for this thread. Just got my Canada visit visa approved last month. Didn’t declare childbirth at visa application. Travelling with my husband by December. Will declare at POE.
Pls help:
Is it a good idea to travel with hubby?? Or do I go alone and he comes later?
I’m yet to contact any doctor or hospital. I need info on affordable ones
Info on Accommodation and hosts in a Canada as I don’t have family in Canada.
I intend to birth in Ontario. Any better options??

Pls help a sister!!
@hotstepper I hail o! Been following you. Even sent you an email. God bless you for all you do.

All these wuruwuru is not good. I cannot help you. I have not done this before. Hope they dont turn you back and you have sufficient funds to cover the delivery process.

Ganjafama:
You want the woman to return haba! bros. If na you , you go accept am back?

If you understand women very well, you wont make this comment. Most women will jump ship when economic downturn occur.

Bro - just remember that many couples have said harsher words than yours and they still stick together. You have to keep trying though maybe she might turn around

americaninja1:
i don’t understand ur methodology. Are u taxed based on wat u post on social media or based on ur actual income wc would b audited comprehensively.

Then dont post on social media. These are people who have never paid taxes. When you claim to be wealthy, you would be tax like wealthy people.

This is how to get them. She was quick to run to the public when she was acquiring wealth without letting anyone know that she is poorly paid. Now the tax man wants his own share and I think the amount is fair enough. Nigerians should pay their taxes and stop showing off.

itiswell1968196:
I am in my late 40 years , Yoruba by tribe, a graduate,God fearing,,Christian, and a single father of a daughter, legally divorced, my wife left after I lost my job years ago, since then I have been struggling to make both end meet.
Please I need a mature lady for a relationship that will lead to marriage.
Please what's app or sms me on +2348036074574

You dont need a wife now. You need to seek ways to get a job and then you can consider getting a wife
Who knows, your wife may even return

Maple2020:
Hello Nigerian canadians i started this movement in July but i am loosing motivation, i am actually doing this for my kids because i have a comfortable job. My colleague who i started with has changed her mind and its affecting me I'm studying for IELTS buy I've lost that energy i started with.
So guys give me ginger, remind why this is worth every naira, sweat and effort.

Dont do this if you are not motivated. It's a marathon and not fast track. I hear people say, I'm immigrating to canada for my kids. How about you? If priorities and planning aren't clear cut, confusion sets in and wrong decisions made.

I wish you the best as you think deep. Dont do it because its trendy. Do it because you want it badly.

padix:
Hello guys, I just got my application approved as a PR and I am thinking of shipping my two TV sets, LG Oled and Sony to Toronto. Is it advisable?
or I should just trade them and buy another one when I land.

Thanks.

Guy trade the stuff. The power socket and outage here is quite different. When you come you can see some TV at reasonable price

Renderhelp:
Hello @Renderhelp

I was trafficked from Nigeria to Italy as a young girl for prostitution.

@Renderhelp forget what all these trafficked Nigerian girls say that they thought the were going overseas to do menial jobs, that's a big lie!!! We all know what we had to do there.

I personally volunteered to travel out to seek greener pastures. I begged my madam, Aunty vero to take me. My family was poor and it seemed there was no hope for me in Nigeria.

Aunty Vero helped me to process my documents and flight tickets after agreeing to pay her 7 million naira as settlement when I get to Italy.

Aunty Vero had lied that she owned a big hotel in Italy and all I had to do was wait in a room and men will come to meet me but when I got there I found out I had to stand in the street amongst other girls to beg men to patronize us.

It wasn't an easy task. I made less than 4,000 naira most nights which I have to give to my madam. I was raped and robbed on three occasions.

One night, I was standing on the street as usual when I heard multiple gunshots. Everyone ran away including me. I saw a shop nearby and quickly ran into it. The man in the shop hurriedly locked the door and invited me to hide with him in a room at the back of the stood.

He was Italian and very friendly. We talked for hours. When it seemed like the chaos was over, I asked to leave but he begged me to stay. I hadn't made any money that night and Aunt Vero would beat me but I didn't care. This was the first friend I had made since I came to Italy.

We grew closer as I visited his store everyday. He told me he owned the store and I told him my story. He didn't criticize me for being a prostitute. He felt sorry for me. He promised to settle my madam if I agreed to marry him and I did.

He paid Aunty Vero even after she greedily increased her fees to 12 million naira. We got married and moved into his family house as we couldn't afford to pay rent at the time.

His family didn't trust me, they believed all Nigerians were terrible people, I tried to prove them wrong but they still hated me. They said I made their son bankrupt and I had planned with Aunty Vero to dupe him.

I had my 2 kids in that house and we stayed there for 6 years until we were able to afford our own apartment.

My husband is bitter as his business hasn't picked up since then and he has been putting all the blame on me.

My family in Nigeria thinks I'm stingy because I don't send them enough money. I am just a supermarket attendant here but they don't understand. They are always comparing me to my mates who are building mansions in Nigeria.

My kids are being bullied in school and are ashamed to mention their mum is Nigerian. They don't even like me to visit their school. They are ashamed of me.

I feel lost and out of place here. I want to dump everything and move to Spain, maybe I'll live a better life there. I'm not happy at all. I need your advice.

Wow your story is touching and exemplify life issues we face. It's sad your husband is blaming you for his business downturn. He should note that he openly assisted you and should Express some patience. You can also try to assist him by either looking for better jobs since you are now a PR. If this is not the situation consider upgrading your skills by enrolling into school. Identify skills in high demand and pursue it. At this moment, encourage your husband with sweet words. I can understand him and his family. Like they said tough times build tough people.

Dont give up - it shall end with praise.

roaringlamb01:
wow! you really caught what set me off. The expected guests were my parents, who hadn't seen my kids since the naming. When they come, I would have 9 people (including our help) under my roof.

When I heard her parents' say "so, because my people are coming, their children should leave ...", I was shocked to my pants. I am a person who loves my peace and quiet, 9 people around me all the time will literally make be cranky and eventually kill me.

See, I love my wife die, and I do anything to make her happy, but this issue was really eye opening for me. When I called her aside and explained everything I had observed to her, she understood completely. Even, hastened their departure. I have also told her, it would be a while before I accept any guests (another brother of her's was also here for a month this same year)... Certainly not 2 people, her parent's didn't call me, I don't know if it is fear or disregard, but like you said "ground rules" will be set from now on, esp after seeing that they wanted to dump them with me.

cheers.

In laws - this is how they create tension in marriages. Oga lay the ground rules immediately and it should apply to everybody.

Dont know what's wrong with some of the women on this forum. I have been reading and identifying similar monikers who feel they champion women's right.

The OP has clarified the house been his own. He pays the entire Bill's and so he is not wrong. If any separation occurs, the female partner will leave with her items. However, if the wife contributes her own portion of the financial resources, she also lay claim to the house. Imagine, you no dey pay bills still wan claim house.

OP you acted right. Before you know, the parents may even relocate to your apartment. I wonder why some in-laws are so selfish. Also, ignore these women right fighters. You owe them no explanation. In fact you owe no one any explanation how you run your family. Let them face their own family and focus on their responsibilities.
....

kurlz:
This is pure bull shit, cock and bull story for the gods.
The man is looking for a mere baby factory, She already has two kids so that proves she is fertile. So what's the rubbish the man is saying.
Many of dumbasses like him takes to their heel once they know the woman is pregnant and turns the story around, she's trying to tie me down with pregnancy...blablabla.

You should be proud of your sister, she's not one hungry LovePeddler who jumps at any man all in the name of Yankee.
That's arrant nonsense.

The story is fake

OK I can see the OP has been bursted. It appears the story is fake and created for click bait purposes. The OP has posted similar story in 2017, 2018 and again in 2019.

I wonder why the moderators would allow such malpractice and push false stories to front page except they are also involved in this idiotic behaviour purely for financial gains.

Shame on the OP, shame on the moderators. This is how reputations are blown away

hollywater:
Can you just imagine after 2 doing guy.D guy self na mumu.U come from UK come dey find second-hand.

I wonder. That's why I bring into question his reasoning faculty. He probably might have been bewitched after the one night stand romp.

Jesse25:
Your sister is more sensible than you for sure, why would a man want to pregnant a woman before he get married to her ...it stupid the man just need sex that all don't be fool...

I doubt if they are not having sex except it's not frequent. I'm still concerned about the man who wants to get a single mother of two pregnant. I question the logical reasoning of such men.

OP your sister is hoping for a man to save her from her predicament that's why she is a frequent attendant at night clubs. I can understand her because her situation is a desperate one. However, I am not satisfied and convinced with her suitor's proposal.

The African continent is responding towards South Africa's hate. Ironically, the government of south africa is playing lip service to Xenophobic attack. Behind close doors, these selfish politicians encouraged and instigate the attacks. The minister for foreign affairs recently, was trying to justify the attacks. An indication of south african government position on the attacks.

Proper sanctions need to be meted on South Africa by African Union. African countries must cut diplomatic ties with them till they get their acts together. South Africans must feel the consequences of these attacks, economically and politically.

I'm not shocked by his statement. He was a baby or even a fetus during Abacha era and had no clue about the dictator other than what he was told by his parents or elder ones

The comments are really fun to read. OP, I think I did a thread on why it's dangerous to being in a committed relationship with a single mother. In fact, go on YouTube, there are plenty of videos advising men to run away from them. You get to watch from men who were in your position.

Trust me on this, single mom's pussies are the best prior to commitment. It never complains, always available, always wet, always ready and moist. Sometimes, the pussies even contribute financially just to keep you or manipulate you to sign that paper. However, after commitment - it would ruin you, destroy you financially and emotionally. It would complicate your life and make you miserable. The choice is there for you to make. Short term pleasure now and a life of misery in the future. You choose!

Women are only scared of a single father who cannot provide. A single father with financial resources has none of the issues being flimsy commented here. I also think this topic is grossly ignorant because Nigeria allows polygamy and we see many men picking up more younger wives especially when they have the financial means.

pansophist:
Exactly. It is like a drug dealer, he wants the money from his addict, but hate the addict and want nothing to do with him. A woman always wants a man that other women want. Any man that settled with a single-mum has inadvertently signified that he is at the bottom of the social ladder, without any attractive women competing for him hence, he is settling for her. She will loathe him, as he is an evidence of the best she can attract, which contradict her hypergamous instinct.

Well said. I'm glad there are still rational thinking men. I was initially shocked by the comments I was reading. I also consider men in a committed relationship with single mothers to be logically incompetent and emotionally vulnerable. However, these men, as they get older become wiser but cannot undo the grave mistakes of the past. Now that's the sucker punch.

monex:
you have a right to your standards as everyone should. Ladies encourage other ladies to have standards so I am okay with you "empowering" men.

The issue is about you making assumptions about single mothers (like that they are hoes and all) and those that date/marry them (that they have no self respect etc.).

I hope I don't piss you off by saying this - men who are in a committed relationship with a single mother have self esteem issues. Women are also aware of it too because out of the lots of better options, you considered them and their baggage. Men should understand the manipulative nature of women - they will stoop to conquer. Engaging in an emotional contest with women would only lead men to their grasp of women's control. You must rationalize women and their intentions at every phase of your life.

princfred:
Actually i'm concuring with you that this is the norm especially in Nigeria due to how women are raised and what they are instiilled to believe that the man must be "bigger"than them in every way or he is not a man.

That its more like when a man has he looks for opportunity to uplift a female not minding her financial state while the more women have they look for opportunity to broke shame men while raising the bar of the kind of bigger man they want.
But i've lived long enough to see few exceptions and know that single mothers are not the only ones who play by that rule. So can't really "judge" them by a thing not exclusive to them.
Most women play by three rules
1) H - Hypergamy
2) E - Entitled
3) R - Relcaciltrant
Single mothers easily learn to drop the last one and sometimes the 2 but the first they hard them pass given that they usually want to end up with someone richer to pepper their last man.

They do these during the courtship period. In martial phase, they exhibit all tendencies in full wrath. Also add R - Resentment. Resentment from both the mother and her children. A man with a single mother is like a visitor in his own home.

Psoul:
My brother, you are funny.
U said there is nothing wrong in bn a single mother. There is everything wrong in it. Apart from the silly Western civilization that has tend to erode sound morality, there is nothing good in bn single parent.

If yours comes as an accidental pregnancy, yes u may have learnt ur lesson, but that does not remove the way ppl see that.
If u did urs intentionally,that mean u beliv that u don't really need men in ur life. For this why should the single lady complain of men bn scared of dating or marrying her. Only a no do good man will marry such.

Summarily, it is not our culture to be proud of single motherhood. Morally, it is not upright too. Biblically, it is a sin. Even the Bible said that no illegitimate child shall enter the kingdom of God even to his tenth generation. This is to show u how much God detest single motherhood.

You forgot to add finance - it's financially burdensome to be a single mother