₦airaland Forum

angelfallz:
You guys are still arguing with that person? It is like the person was paid to argue about 50% representation.

I wanted to clear him not to put his marginalization tag on me.

I asked questions expecting answers, mbanu!

Of course, some people are paid for misinformation, disinformation and agendas.

FreeIgboho:
See below. Find Nigeria's rank

To think I was expecting answers to the questions I asked below.

cococandy:
1. Can you point to one woman on this thread who you sincerely believe is doing less for themselves than you are?
Who’s parents or mothers on this thread didn’t invest in them?

2. Are you assuming that because we speak on these issues, we are not taking initiatives on our own and achieving our set goals? Because I’d like to really understand what goes through your mind when you’re making posts like these. “Oh these women are whiners. They expect things handed to them. They have victim mentality. The women around me are high achievers. They are infantilized” (I can’t remember all of your usual phrases)

3. The broader issue is that despite whatever opportunities there are, and how many women succeed by taking those opportunities, the men do not have to suffer set backs specifically because of their gender. And the women do. And it shouldn’t be so.

4. No one is saying women should not take opportunities because they will encounter gender based set backs. No one said women won’t succeed if they try. And no one said men don’t experience set backs. The problem is the setbacks men encounter are not based on their gender.

5. See you often make broad discussions about yourself and how amazing you are. By reverting the conversation to how you take responsibility for your own life and choices all what not. (Not the first time. Not the 10th time ) maybe primadonna is newer to these discussions and my question to her caught her off guard but if she’s been following similar threads like this, she would understand where that question was coming from. You will unfailingly try to equate the broad topic to your own perceptions of individual success and try to dismiss the real issues that affect other women because in your opinion it doesn’t apply to you so it doesn’t matter.

6. So I’d like for you to be direct and tell us which woman on this thread is lazy and waiting for a handout

7. And you’ve called yourself a feminist before. If you didn’t believe there are issues with gender equality, why would you support a movement for gender equality? Was it a buzzword for you then? And now you’ve decided you no longer want to go with the “trend”? Or do you sincerely believe gender issues have all been amicably resolved since the first time you thought you were a feminist and therefore there’s no problem with inequality anymore?

1. Can you point to a post where I said I am doing better than all the women on this thread? Or where I said only my parents invested in me? I rejected the tag of marginalization and victimhood freeigboho wanted to dash me. I am free to speak about my reality as you are free to speak about yours. I am sure if I went from one thread to another complaining how a man did something to me, it would be ok. I am sorry, I honestly do not have any sob story to tell. Maybe I have a natural anti-bullshit repellant?

2. I believe my phrases are clear and to the point. I do not have women who whine constantly about men, society, patriarchy and all sorts around me. They understand that women would win some and lose some which also goes for men. Women are not saints neither are men demons. So the wise thing is to look at a situation on a case by case basis and judge. The women also know that men and women are not same and learn their leverage per time to enjoy themselves. They do not leave the gifts they have and start eyeing the supposed gifts men have.

3. And who told you that men don't suffer setbacks because of their gender? You want to have a gender conversation without understanding that both genders have pros and cons? Please.

4. And you know that men don't suffer setbacks due to their gender because? Please refer to point 3.

5. Nope. Because I have not seen the real issues in this 2021. People have thrown a challenge to list the marginalization women experience and I have not picked a concrete one.
a. Someone said there is no equal representation of women in positions of power: Have you seen anywhere were there is equal representation of gender in this world? There are more men or more women in a sphere of life for a reason: we are different; motivated by different things and want different things. The person did not request 50% of women as truck pushers or garbage collectors or truck drivers or NEPA officials or road construction workers. Or we do not care about 50% representation in these spheres? It is fine for men to dominate? Switzerland scores highest on the equality scale yet they had to introduce quota systems to bring up the women representation in politics to less than 40%. Does that not show the issue is not 'marginalization' but the fact that less women are interested in politics than men? Perhaps those interested in 50% representation should take it up with God.

b. You raised the issue of ancestral inheritance in Igbo land: Women do not inherit ancestral land, men do. Except things have changed, ancestral land is passed on to men for their families (wives & children). If a man is the head of the family and lineages are patrilinear, how would a woman inherit ancestral land if the land is to be maintained in that ancestry? Except a woman ensures that she marries a man from her locality/ancestry, she cannot pass the land to her children because her children would be from her husband's place. Yorubas who pass on lands to their children (male & female) do not have the concept of ancestral land and wives do not inherit in Yorubaland. Besides, are you saying there is nothing women benefit in Igbo culture that men don't?

c. You mentioned a cabal marginalizing you from contesting for president of your department: Like Primadonna said, you did not want it bad enough. If you did, a group of boys sagging their trousers and telling you that they would not add your name to the ballot wouldn't have deterred you. You could have contested for VP and set the president up to take his place, find bigger/higher cabals and aligned with them or reported them to the departmental dean/ the student liaison officer/ the responsible person. You could have also campaigned and if your name did not come out in the ballot, cause a fuse/cry/fight etc. till the election is scattered.

6. I wish I understood the question. I have not said any woman waited for handouts or whatever.


7. I had the same beliefs before I heard of feminism, while I identified with feminism and now I no longer identify with feminism. My posts are here on NL and more than 95% of my posts and threads have had same consistency. I have grown more and realized that feminism and Christianity are not compatible ( I had a thread on that) and Christianity is more important to me. A single verse of the Bible 'I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me' is sufficient. Anything I want to be, as long as it is in His will or good, I can achieve it. I have also read what people term 'inequality' between sexes and it is just people highlighting what is perceiving to be the advantage of a gender over the other in a certain situation or the consequences of their actions and choices. People are also pushing for equality in outcome i.e. A & B should do the same thing and have the same results which is impossible; it is against the principle of life. You can only have equality of opportunities which for most part has been achieved.

Women have left the power they have (their femininity aka influence and sympathy) to chase what they think men have. Those who are exposed in life understand that the person wearing the crown is necessarily not in control. There are godfathers and mothers controlling them and enjoying the privileges without the burden of power.

FreeIgboho:
Bros, nobody is talking about you in partucular. The question is wether women in general are marginalized in today's Nigeria (let me translate it for you: "Are women heavily underrepresented in major roles in Nigeria of today). The answer of course is a resounding YES! So that's settled: WOMEN ARE MARGINALIZED IN NIGERIA OF TODAY!!!

But beyond that, looking objectively, do you really think women have a fair shake in today's Nigerian society? Don't you think tradition, culture, etc put women in general in a position that's far too subservient to men?
Don't you think there ought be an on-going struggle to change that a bit? I'd advice you and others to JOIN THAT STRUGGLE! That's the only way change occurs.

I am not marginalized; your sisters are not marginalized; the women on this thread are not marginalized; Ini Edo that started the rant is not marginalized....

Yet women are marginalized.

So because we do not have 50% representation of governors or presidents, women are marginalized?

Do you even understand that men and women are different and want different things?

Must the quality of a woman's life be measured in relation to a man's?

Can't a woman define what a good life means to her and work for it?

Golan007:
I do from time to time.

That is the spirit.

If a woman could comfortably wear bralette and bum shots on the streets yesterday without hassles, you are free to wear whatever you like.

FreeIgboho:
Bros, they are far heavily underrepresented in major roles in Nigeria of today: they are at the margins - MARGINALIZED!

(I keep calling u bros because I suspect u r a man )

Your suspicion is really none of my business:

What major roles are women underrepresented?
Why are the women underrepresented?
Is there a law stopping women achieving the level of representation they think is 'fair'?
Do women have access/rights to choose who represents them today?
Do the same number of men & women contest/compete for these positions?
Do women win these positions in the polls and are denied?
How many women have expressed interest and pushed their interest through in these positions?

PATAlolade:
Afternoon, this is no big deal to me. I am used to Hollywood series whereby new episode is drop weekly and there will be even break in between.

I will look for other series to fill the wait.

Thank you for daasing my plight

KarinaLove:
Na the question I still dey ask myself my dear

Hmmmmm

greenie77:
It all boils down to socialization. Some women are even shamed into "accepting" all sorts. Once they feel "liberated" their middle finger comes up.

What a wasted life!

Sad.

This is 2021 though, there is enough precedence to make the right choices

Golan007:
I wish we still dressed as they did in the 2nd pix.

What's stopping you?

greenie77:
Just reminded me of a childhood neighbour of mine then in Lagos, Papa is now in the village while mama went to Dublin for omugwo since 2009 and that was the last her now ex-husband saw her because sometime around 2011 while still in Dublin she requested her birth family to return the bride price papa paid, she no marry again and Papa is very free to move on with his life and very free to go marry the woman he abandoned his family for to go cohabit with in the late 90s.

No young woman in her right senses would want to waste her life on an elderly man living with Osteoarthritis. Papa was really a Pharaoh back then as it was very clear to everyone in the neighbourhood.

I don't subscribe to this though.

Why don't the woman treat the issues as they occur or move on if it is adultery and/or abuse?

Why carry/endure bitterness for so long hoping to 'pay back' in future?

KarinaLove:
60 is huge.

I went for a Couples 25 year anniversary last month. The husband who is about 60 was there cutting eye for almost all the single ladies at the reception.

Funny enough, his wife knew what he was doing but didn't say anything. I just couldn't laugh.

Anyways, Happy Wedding Anniversary to them.

Then what were they celebrating?

pocohantas:
Una dey always get options when young na.

That time sense is not found and gbola is very active. Naso una go dey do like Hitler. Claiming men-are-polygamous-in-nature.

You people forget na una old age dey do strong things pass. Small thing, stroke, kidney failure, diabetes. By that time, all your options (side-chicks) are long gone. You’ll now be blackmailing your virtuous wife into becoming a personal nurse. Reminding you to take your drugs and cooking oilless vegetable soup with plantain swallow.

If God come punish you with woman wey sabi revenge. She would leave you at home and go for omugwo in the US permanently. You will na wear obituary t-shirt and sit in front of your bungalow with a newspaper, watching every movement. One useless redpiller will see you there and come to create thread. “Men take care of yourselves, what I noticed with my neighbour”. The moomoo won’t ask the neighbour how he landed in that situation.

You men won’t give a woman your youth, but when your engine has knocked, you will return home to saddle her with a badly maintained Nigerian used body. Nonsense!

Happy Anniversary to the couple.

Does buying his mother a TV negate the fact he is always on his phone?

If he was doing something productive on the phone, explaining to his mother would have sufficed.

This seems like a bribe to get the mom to shut up or look the other way.

If his mom is happy with his resolution of the problem, wetin be my own?

@favfables:

Very funny story because the husband is actually viewing the problem from a 'equality' point of view:

Everyone should take care of their own families.

The wife stopped cooking and doing laundry (which I believe is the part of the woman's duty in this marriage) for a man who pays all the bills

Anyways, the husband should drop his feminism and 'equality' cap and look at the situation critically and with love.

He married a poor woman who had five siblings hence he should have figured that his wife would cater for her family with his money . If he did not want that, he should have married a woman who can either singlehandedly sponsor her family or doesn't have a poor family to cater for.

The deed is done and there is no going back:

Let him discuss with his wife and agree the amount they can comfortably spare for both extended family per month/quarterly because N330k is not so much in today's Nigeria.

The wife is very entitled, ungrateful and irrational. There is a way she will handle the issue that it would be de-escalated quickly.

advanceDNA:
naaaaahhh ..
lets just eliminate all men ....
i bet many of you women will still cry foul

Why eliminate men when you can condition them to be what you want?

That conditioning (part of which is making them ashamed of their differences) is happening on a global scale.

I always look at negotiating a win-win situation biko.

Let me rant a bit:

Who told impatient & hyper imaginative me to start a new series?

I just started 'The King's Affection' and only two episodes are out.

Who will console me now I have finished both of them and have to wait?

I need another good series while I wait for this to be over.

Mbok, I can't deal!

Rant over.

Good afternoon house.

crackhaus:
Do they even have PVCs?
People whose activism begins and ends on social media.

The ones who will bother risking their wigs and makeup to go out and vote, still end up NOT voting for the female candidates.
Why? Because they have been conditioned.

Robots.

Eku conditioning

Maybe I should make anti-conditioning shampoo.

If we have having this discussion in the 60s, maybe I would agree.

In 2021 when you can be anything good or bad?

Nope!

PrimadonnaO:
Thanks, Bukatyne.

I got weary of the conversation, because it simply began to seem like some persons simply want the tag to remain, no matter how negligible the justification is. "We are marginalised."

I've left it alone.

I have asked examples of marginalization, I have not seen.

A man stopped his wife from working, a man married his daughter off, bla bla.

Is it constitutional?

Is it legal?

That is the discussions we should be having.

Karleb:
My brother! You have addressed many issues.

Even in marriages, they go for the bad guys, leaving the good guys hanging and when the union hit the wall, the put the blame on men not minding their terrible choices.

It was in my final year that I learnt that my Dad send more money to my sister than he sends to me, yet this girl will come to my lodge and I will still do the elder brother duties to her and her friend.

Women have problems, quite alright but don't men have their own problems too? Why are men not shouting marginalization?

It's one of the reasons I will never be a feminist.

@bold:

Very sharp girl

She run you street ontop big brother things

And I am sure you were feeling on top of the world while giving her doe as per you are able to provide for her

Let me laugh mbok!

FreeIgboho:
THE PROBLEM IS THAT MOST PEOPLE ON THIS THREAD DO NOT KNOW THE DEFINITION OF MARGINALIZATION!!
The topic of the thread is wether women are marginalized, not solutions or causes. The OP opined that they not. Which is of course nonsense. Women are in the periphery of major roles in Nigeria - which is the definition of Marginalization. Even Igbos are screaming marginalization, talkless of women!

You are speaking English Oga:

How are women marginalized in Nigeria today?

advanceDNA:
No need to mention boy challenges oooo.....the boy child has no challenge...once you come with a penis ..u automatically get to the top...no struggles, no marginalization, no matriachy....

it's women only women that are prevented and marginalized from becoming plumbers, carpenters, mechanic, heads of departments, CEOs and presidents ....in fact the women leaders and CEOs and champions doing well got there by error.....

Abi we should all convert to men

And to think we have a lot of men transgendering to women than the other way round.

FreeIgboho:
There is a groundwork that led to you not wanting to be president of Nigeria or be involved in things. If it is a one off thing - only you, cool. But if almost your whole group don't want to be involved, then the cause is systemic. Your group will end up in the periphery - which is the definition of marginalisation. Your group is marginalized by definition. You can't come out and be saying you are not marginalized. It makes no sense - a non sequitur, NONSENSE!

Biko, there are enough marginalized women on this thread to want to recruit me by force.

My parents especially my mother has invested too much in me for me to think I am marginalized.

And I have seen that around me.

DO NOT add ME to your marginalized women statistics.

Even women who believe men & women are not equal are breaking grounds daily doing whatever they like with their lives.

The irony is that you don't even realize you keep infantilizing women with your posts.

In this 21st Century free Nigeria that you can be whatever you desire, you are still saying there are systemic bla bla bla making women not to succeed.

In today's Nigeria?

If the women around you are like that, the women around me are not.

They set goals no matter how small or big and smash it.

It is also a fallacy to think that anything falls into any one's laps in this world. Of you want something, better be willing to work (negative or positive) for it.

Like Yorubas would say:
> Eni ti a jeun gboingboin a ti lekun gboingboin.

> Ikoko to a je ata, idi e gbona.

Or if it is the Biblical version you want:
The kingdom of God suffereth violence and the violent taketh it by force.

To achieve ANYTHING in this life, you have to pay the price and work for it. The difference is that what I do to achieve A might not be what you do to achieve same.

There is nowhere in the world that equal outcomes ever occurred; and it will never happen.

Walkee:
this north narrative sef is rubbish. The female children that are forced to marry at 12 have brothers that are left on the streets at age 9, the females are forced to marry, the males are ignored to either follow a trailer down south to scavenge metal, beg or worse still, left at the mercy of Boko Haram and bandits recruiters.
These only in the poorest of poor families. Well to do homes in the North don't marry off their children or leave them at the mercy of BH.
I was told by my friends in kano that girls are paid to go to school in Jigawa. The boys are given scholarship too but those of the girls is 4x higher than the ones given to their male counterparts.

My Fulani friend has a girl who is betrothed to him, she finished secondary school and refused to write jamb, she declared she wants to get married. My friend begged her to carry jamb she refused, he gave her money to buy form she used it to buy clothes and hair. He has decided to do the wedding in a couple of months. You will now see someone like that now and still type that Northern girls are denied education.
Any family where a Northern girl is forced to marry at 12, her brother is in the South picking condemn iron or helping BH to clean Ak-47

That's why I don't even what to drag the North into this.

There is a sterling difference between the poor and the rich that it is no longer a religious but a power/poverty problem for me.

The rich don't even follow their Sharia laws and dressings.

Acidosis:
The marginalization faced by some women is NOT because of their gender. More often than not, marginalization is a result of being in a minority group. So if you as a woman finds yourself in the midst of 100 men and 10 women, chances are your voice is less likely to be heard. But this is not because you're a woman. A man in the same environment may face the same issue.

For women like Ini Edo and other high-achieving women, they need to come out and describe their experiences. Impostor syndrome is not marginalization. A lot of high achievers face impostor syndrome and then claim marginalization upon recovery. Impostor syndrome is simply a psychological problem.

While I agree that certain cultural issues exist, coming out to talk about marginalization is not the way forward. Women with the interest of breaking these barriers are out there in numbers. For example, we now have female bishops and female pastors. If women are truly interested in these things, nobody will stop them. Imagine men claiming marginalization simply because 99.9% of nuns (reverend sisters) are female? Truth is that men don't give a f**k about such duties. If women want to take over Rome, then come out and express yourself. In Osun state, women lead the traditional religion. In Akure, women become Kings. The founder of Foursquare Gospel Church is a woman. These are just a few.

While there are more male-dominated traditions, more women need to show interest NOT sit back and talk about marginalization on Instagram. Nothing has ever been given on a silver platter.

And romantically, the notion out there is that women generally love dominant men. How can your man become dominant by trying to subjugate him? How many wives today will love to see their husbands kneel before a woman in church for anointing service? How many women want to see their husbands dressed like a nun while attending to a lady - Pope in Rome? If more women do not want this, the idea of marginalization is thoughtless.

PrimadonnaO:
Okay, first of all, I'm not fixated on anything.

Interestingly, I really want to know what the issues around women marginalisation are today, because when I look around, I don't see them.

And yes, personal experiences lend credibility because it gives context to the matter.

So back to your experience.

It's a good thing you knew that the there was no law enshrined that prevented a female from vying for the office of president.

And yes, it is true that some things won't be easy. If you very much wanted the office, you could have pressed on.

In your case, the roadblock was that the "cabal" wanted only male for that position.

But their preference may have also varied across other lines. Another male would have had challenges if perhaps he wasn't loyal to the cabal...
If he wasn't from a tribe they preferred...
If he wasn't from a department they wanted...
If his ideologies didn't favour the cabal...

So many roadblocks people experience at different phases of life.
What matters most is that it is contestable and you could have pressed on regardless...

This would have been a stronger case if you had taken it to the authorities and they re-echoed that the position wasn't open to ladies.

@bold:

Gold

Owen247:
Now is that not male marginalisation?

It is not sir

Imagine someone said 'they think women are dumb and easily manipulated'

advanceDNA:
I am not talking about Nigeria alone.. and u are the one lying cos u don't have statistics to back your erronous claim that there are equal men and women in nursing..

There are more female nurses than male everywhere in the world..united state has the highest..and it just grew to a mere 12% recently, according to the bereau of labour statistics....just as there are more male in engineering than women...
u think women don't study engineering...they eventually leave and end up doing other things...

The equality of opportunity is fine...that's acheivable... But U can't force out individual or group outcome...that's a fact ....

If u like seff...prevent men from contesting for the next election... The love women have for family will prevent many of them from remaining in politics for long...how many women have risk apetite like tinubu, like ffk, like fayose, oshiomole...

Women will tell u men marginalize them ..but the good heart and caring soul they are wired with more than men is mostly why they won't leave family and chase career full speed..

Give a man a 1.5million naira manager job in maidugurii and he will not think twice before leaving his family... Give a woman the same job and she will remember her kids first cos she won't even want to leave her kids with anyone ...not even her husband..

@bold:

I think it should be taught from elementary school to prevent some discussions in future.

PrimadonnaO:
Lack of personal responsibility for one's own life.

Simple and short.

Where was I when this thread was going down?

It would be strange to mention the problems of the girl-child in the North with mentioning the problems of the boy-child.

The North has a very peculiar set of problems that 'empowerment' of the girl-child is not the solution.

FreeIgboho:
And that's why they are crying marginalization yet you are saying they are not marginalised, when the results clearly shows THEY ARE! The females are not be blamed. The paternalistic society is to be blamed and needs to be reformed and that is what they are fighting for. Nobody is asking you to hand over anything

I have seen your posts all over this thread:

@bold:
What do you propose in practical terms?

JayCynic:
Bullshit
There's nothing that excludes men from nursing, all you have to do to be a nurse is apply for an SON exams, get good grades, pass the interview, study for three years and come out with good grades and viola you're an RN.

Most men just don't want to be nurses because they just don't want to be nurses. Period

I don't understand how the bold is not common sense.

I don't want to be the president of Nigeria (at least as at today).

I don't just want to be?

Or women don't have free will and all their actions must stem from marginalization

PrimadonnaO:
To allude women's decision to not aspire to certain positions and heights to societal conditioning is just too intangible.

How can that be measured?


How have you reached that conclusion?

So if a woman says "I'm not running for the office of the President because society doesn't expect me to" do you think she still has any right to scream marginalisation?

No, she doesn't. Because her limitation is in her head, and there is nothing in the real sense stopping her from breaking free of it.

Well-done PrimadonnaO on this thread.

We have ensured everyone has equal opportunities; now we are policing for equal outcomes.

We will still get to 'why do only women get pregnant when men & women have sex'?

A woman got the presidential ticket some years back yet only four people voted for her.

I am 100% sure that more than 4 feminists in Nigeria were eligible to vote and had PVCs.

They did not vote for her yet come to wail that women are marginalized.

BigBellyBurst:
I think the solution to Gender war is for men and women to live on two different planets.

Im beginning to get sick of it.

That's if the genders don't sneak into each other's planet at night.

Lanrelagboi:
Governor of Lagos State, Mr Babajide Sanwo-Olu today commissioned a 100 Housing Units at Ikate, Lekki, Lagos, the Housing units is known as Bayview Estate.

The Bayview Estate project is a joint venture project between Lagos State Development and Property Corporation and Misa Ltd. It is situated behind Enyo Filling Station and beside Stillwaters Garden, Elegushi, Lekki.

This project consists of 68 terraces of 4 bedrooms with a maid’s room each and 32 flats of 3 bedrooms with a maid’s room each on a total land area of 23,000sqm.

The terraces has the following features:

1 Master Bedroom (En suite)
2 Children Rooms (En suite)
1 Guest Room (En suite)
1 Maid’s Room (En suite)
Main Lounge
Kitchen/Store
Ante Room
Visitor’s Toilet

The flats has the following features:

Master Bedroom (En suite)
2 Children Room (En suite)
Maid’s Room (En suite)
Ante Room
Main Lounge
Visitor’s Toilet
Kitchen/Store
Dining Area
Box Room

Internal Features:

High quality fully fitted kitchen
High quality sanitary fixtures
High quality HDF wardrobe

Facilities:

Water Treatment Plant
Recreation House
Car Park
Visitor’s Parking Lot
Gymnasium
Central Sewage System
24/7 Power Supply
 
Other Ancillary Buildings:

Generator House
Refuse House
Gate House

#ForAGreaterLagos

What does 'maid's room' mean?