₦airaland Forum

Palema007:
I've never seen you do that, not on this thread or any other. But I guess this is where I tell you:



You are RIGHT.

Hathor5:
I hit a nerve! Sorry!

SpicyMimi:
I met him while shopping for atarodo (red pepper) at our local market lol he was a bachelor, just got into the state mins ago, then bumped into him. He is an extreme introvert like myself.

It took me the Grace of God to say " Hey I know you" lol apparently we attended same Higher institution, but he was 2 years ahead. I was able to recognize him because he was the former Mr BAM then. Lol

Anyways, it was all planned by God...i prayed to God so much to meet my God ordained husband that year and that exact month using a vow, also promised to pay another vow at the beginning of next month if I can meet him that very month, and just towards the end of that month as I was about giving up, but the God of 11th hour, the God that answereth by fire, the Only True God brought him into my life. God answered me...i am still amazed!!! Like God really really cares that much for me.

Palema007:
You used it more than once, you directed a question to me on it then went on to emphasize on it making the difference between a wife and mistress.

See Bukatyne, the problem with most of you is you see these things as duties, running a bath, cooking, washing etc. Once people see these things as natural things you do out of love, you won't see it as a duty.

Finance or Not . Love is the most important thing.

Hathor5:
Had you chosen your career more wisely ... right?

bukatyne: Thanks for the mention:
1. My lethargy has been pre-COVID. I don't think I am made for the traditional 9 - 5 grin

2. Good one, we are relationship beings so thrive better when our lives are 'full' with healthy, meaningful relationships.

3. Hahahahahaha! I feel you jare. Lagos work life can make one's soul wither.

4. I worked from home all through the lockdown and got approval to continue post-COVID. I started feeling lethargic about four years into working. However, logic trumps emotions most of the time for me. So irrespective of HOW I felt, I have woken up and given my best to my job. What you feel is called the 'soul sucking effect' of the corporate world. If it gives any comfort, most workers feel the same way coupled with the rat race of life/wealth however, financial responsibilities make them wake up the next morning.

You want to work from home or part time; what do you need to achieve that? Do you want to up your IT skills? Right now, IT, Official Social Media Mgt and Virtual Customer Care jobs are the hot cake for remote work. While building those skills, you will still be working most likely at your job. Do you like your job? If yes, what can you change to be more comfortable? Your commute to work. Can you afford moving closer to work? Commute time would be drastically shorter which means you have time to play around for other things.

If you don't like your job, what do you like to do? Does your current employer have that department? Can you speak to your boss and the boss of the department you like? Can you consider switching departments (this would however mean you are rooster sure of the new department and that you can deliver at the current tempo you are at your current job. Employers tend to forget how you performed in dept A and evaluate you on dept B's performance. Underperformance or not fitting dept B means the door. And irrespective of how you feel now, unplanned joblessness is no fun). Can you tailor your current job to up-play some things you like to do?

5. Well, COVID-19 has opened the eyes of Nigerians employers to see that remote work is very doable and cost effective for them. So start looking while taking note of the points above.

6. Dreamers like us cheesy I would rather have a job from 10am - 2pm beside my house for six months and use the remaining six months to lounge cheesy. I also wanted work from home and grateful I got it which is still 'scam' to me grin. I rather work intensely for two months and have a month break in that cycle. The constant working and rat race is very soul sucking to me.

7. Fiverr and upwork is a thing. Crossover is also another good platform recruiting Nigerians collecting jagam if you can work the work!

8. Sorry cheesy

9. I guess I have done that in number 4. I saw you like reading and writing somewhere. If you have content you want to share with the world, refine your writing skills, take some classes and boom!. Check upwork and fiverr, I think they require editing and proofreading skills a lot. The downside is that since they are common, it is harder to come tops enough to charge good rates. Rome wasn't built in a day.

You also have to discover your purpose and pursue it to get that ultimate satisfaction. smiley

P.S.: You are very lucky to feel this itch/dissatisfaction/lethargy very early when a whole lot can be done. smiley

Goodluck.

Palema007:
Lol I will never know because answering that sincerely will bring out the flaw in your submission. Unless the person is an handicap, you will never do it EVERYDAY! . BTW I can run my husband's bath water I'm chanced willing and scrub his back (the only problem is ,he might end up taking that bath over and over again)


So why hammer on it like that's the only ticket to being a WIFE?

Plead:
As in eh,I don’t understand why he invited y.baby and her comrades to this thread.

Hathor5:
Just because you can't does not mean others can't.

I know you have a job that sucks. You mentioned it on Klass thread where she tagged you and where she tagged me.

You are very easy to read Buka. I can tell you more about you than you know about yourself and I am not even a self-proclaimed mindreader.

Palema007:
Do you scrub your husband's back and run his bath everyday?

Is scrubbing back and running bath water all that's needed to make one a WIFE?

Mariangeles:
How else can a man show his love for his family if not by working hard to provide for them?

On fathers' day, a man uploaded a picture of him with his children on his whatsapp status and captioned it " You make the hustle worth it" those words have deep meanings.

Let us tell ourselves the truth. It is what it is.
I'll keep saying God's truth no matter what.
Stop deceiving men like Romangalactic to appear "better" than other women.
If you doubt, study your bible. God hath made it so.

Hathor5:
Most women do both. Pay bills and look after their family so stop hyping yourself.

A white woman will say "strong independent woman" because color plays no major role in their experience and identity building. One of the reasons they find it so hard to acknowledge the privilege that comes with it.

Palema007:
Everyday? As a duty? Or just lovey dovey thingy ?

Mariangeles:
Are you mistaking me for Ybaby? Because I think you are
Don't try to play smart by twisting my words.

yettymuse:
it is Hard!.. In fact, very hard! It's a lot of work! Servitude takes your time and zaps your energy!.... This is the Submission we all don't want to hear.. It's far more than 'just sex'.. It is a lifestyle.. It is only easy to deliver when you are not paying bills! (a)

.. in other light, with lesser time and `energy` Making money is fun and enterprising plus plenty bragging rights and controlling power for a woman in a masculine world... (b)

...here, she would literally use her money to 'buy`submission, Only a foolish man would ask you come and run his bath, cook him a sumptuous dinner, give him a warm massage and make him relish his weird sexual fantasies without holding back..when she's just returning from work at 11pm....
here she pays the bill or SUPPORT as the case may be
....

Growing up in a typical Black community, most female grew up with the mindset (b) .. Some joined the train along the line...

But Men will always be men!.... Only a tiny percentage
No one can change that..

The women from Group B are beginning to cry premium tears, anonymous threads everywhere,.. 'dogs' biting the hands that fed them, women going bunkers, finances gone down, society hitting at them!!
..20/30/40/50 years of `building my man' is finally collapsing the minute her libido goes dry and breasts fallen, wrinkled eyes and better days, bones frail and beauty fades...
........ Oga Thomas wants a fresh young blood...now that money has come, Barbara the Builder can take a rest, Regina lo n so lowlowo!!
. Don't blame him, "afterall his a man"

They finally realized that `no evil has befallen the women in group A contrary to what the society fed them!.

... They realized they are the prize and the beat is starting to change, the dancefloor is becoming hot and everything is taking a different turn.. It is becoming survival of the fittest!

At the end of day, it's whatever rocks anyone's boat!
But always remember say only your own hands would never disappoint you as a woman. Your own money is your shock absorber. You need to make your own money to avoid nonsense!

.... But you see Man money...na goldmine... na him sweet pass! Pray to chop am, no be noise.. Your life go soft!

woman wey man dey spoil no get two heads abeg

Palema007:
Yes nah! Isn't it for the betterment of my family?

Mariangeles:
How else can a man show his love for his family if not by working hard to provide for them?

On fathers' day, a man uploaded a picture of him with his children on his whatsapp status and captioned it " You make the hustle worth it" those words have deep meanings.

Let us tell ourselves the truth. It is what it is.
I'll keep saying God's truth no matter what.
Stop deceiving men like Romangalactic to appear "better" than other women.
If you doubt, study your bible. God hath made it so.

Hathor5:
Next time choose your words more carefully when you talk about me and my family.

Hathor5:
Girl, joint account or not. It's his salary.
He can take it from you any time. It takes five minutes to open a new account and have the salary go there.
You are at his mercy.
Explains why you tell yourself that you are so special.

Hathor5:
We don't breed in my family. I didn't know your family are dogs.

Hathor5:
Good to know. Then I need not restrain myself now or in future in order not to hurt your feelings.
I like that!

Hathor5:
He can withdraw your access to it at any time.

Hathor5:
Why would I open a thread after you have presented me with your research?
I have the feeling that you tell yourself such things to make yourself feel special. No offense.

Hathor5:
I have no problem with couples who opt for the traditional model. It has many advantages for the family as a whole. Many more people would choose this model if they could afford it.
The biggest disadvantage is that it leaves women in a vulnerable position. They will have to put up with statements such as "those who pay the piper bla bla bla" and their contribution to the family and even wider community is not only played down but disrespected even though the workload of a housewife who runs a well-organized household, cooks fresh food, looks after the children, takes care of the husband is colossal. The same people who have this mindset complain about women who no longer want to be oppressed and abused in the name of 'I dictate the tune" and opt for a career or demand that the husband shares chores and participates in childcare.

Palema007:
Wait Bukatyne! Wait you are confusing me. What side are you on? Or what are you trying to bring out?


BTW why would anyone want to run a bath or scrub anyone's back as a duty? Is the back or bath owner handicap?

Palema007:
So are you saying Ybaby is living in dream Land?

Hathor5:
Sharing bills is considered special (although it is not) whereas tending to husband and kids taken for granted, that's why they will brag about the former and not the latter.

Playing the devoted housewife is what most ladies (yes I said it) who are in love do, even before they get the ring.

Hathor5:
In Nigeria?

Hathor5:
I can assure you that a woman who runs a bath for her husband, cleans the house, looks after the children and is ready to have sex is not as hard to come by as you think.

Hathor5:
How is it related to the post you quoted?

Hathor5:
Is it?

Hathor5:
Ybaby was Cinderella yesterday and a lady from a rich background today.