₦airaland Forum

Palema007:
The bolded? Say no more.

Even without the bolded.

Such a wife is gold even if the bolded doesn't involve money.

See bed

This money MUST be made.

Romangalactic:
Nasty & hateful,and she busy preaching to me abt anger and hurt. lol

You also had an agenda inviting Y.baby to this thread with that post.

Palema007:
"when he gets home from work, run a warm bath, scrub his back, massage his lower brain and let him release his stress inside you, give him vitamins, pray for him, make sure the kids are well looked after and house is clean, delicious food and lots of peace"

And you wonder why they are so easy to replace, sent packing,kicked out and maltreated?. Lol. When you importance ends at being a intimacy gadget and house cleaner don't cry when you are treated as such.

"Do women support Dangote or Otedola? " The question should be How many Dangotes or Otedola do we have in Nigeria?

"How can a woman pay a child's school?" Is the child not hers too? What sane woman will have her child sent out of school because she is waiting for the husband to provide.?

So many jargons in one post! Just imagine!

You think a man would easily 'replace' a wife who does the above for him in addition to other things?

It is easier to get a wife that will pay bills et all than one who would do the above for him.

You need to understand that the above bar the kids is the allure a mistress has.

Ybaby:
Ise lago ma se ku.

My concern is why she is even letting her hubby pay for anything at all. She is a strong donkey sorry i mean woman.

This is how she announces to everyone that she is the bread donkey... sorry... breadwinner. She is probably built like a man too such a muscular capable woman who can pay school fees when the father is alive.

A strong women

I pray she gets a job soon.

All na patience, because that thread of I pay all the Bill's but hubby has impregnated a village girl is coming soon..... eleya awon donkey o kin pe na.

As it is her hubby is spending his money on another woman.

To each is own!

This post is extremely disrespectful to the woman that posted it and family.

Mariangeles:
You see? Now that you've learned new words from him and how to use them in a sentence, aren't you better off?


Remember the thread about woman who lost interest in her partner of 9years yes? That is what happens eventually when a man relaxes and let his wife take on most of his responsibilities.

If you dig deep, a woman like no.bone takes on all that responsibilities either because she's out to prove a point out of spite(at her own detriment) or has no option.
What woman would ask to fully take on her husband's role when he's capable and willing?
She will not tell you the whole story. Women like that end up being resentful and are easily irritated by their so-called husbands.
As a man, if your wife offers to do that much, do not allow it.
Don't let her overexert herself. It'll drain her out and she'll end up cursing you under her breath
You really need to learn how to love a woman. How to bring out the best in her for your sake.

A wife's duty is to support her husband and not to fully take on the responsibilities meant for a man. She does not have the strength to do that.
Don't be deceived by all that you read...there are always more sides to the story.

You know the bold is a very nasty thing to say right?

Mariangeles:
You'll love to be that kind of a husband wouldn't you?
A man his wife does not depend on for anything.
Answer honestly: how would you feel as a man if your wife does not need you for anything?

Is money the only thing a husband is to provide? Is money the only way a husband shows his love?

@Kelechi02:

Happy birthday to your dad.

I admire his spirit, drive and tenacity. He did not wait for things to drop on his laps or carry himself as a victim.

Instead, for every ball life threw at him, he met it head on, did what needed to be done & moved on.

God bless his new year and give you his kids the grace to carry on his legacy and surpass all he achieved.

Amen.

LewsTherin:
Some stupid spambot banned me for a while for nothing more than trying to modify a post because I saw a spelling error. I gues the bots in Nairaland have not been updated since 1978.

Anyways, I see the failure of fatherhood in Nigeria as another result of the failure of leadership. Our leaders believe leadership is rulership. They see themselves as unquestionable and infallible overlords when leadership should be more like shepherding. A shepherd guides, protects and cares for his sheep. He disciplines every time it is needed but he primarily guides and cares.

But we should also remember the pressures men in this age face. Pressures to provide. To succeed. To meet society's standards. To "be a man". These pressures are immense and manny men in a bid to meet what is expected of them miss what is right for them.

Many women and wives do not understand this and will pile up even more pressures on their men making it worse for them. Especially as society has made caeing for the children the woman's job. This, by the way, isn't necessarily a bad thing. An emotional thinker is more likely to do a better job on children who are not yet capable of rationally following through a thought but will still "feel" their way out of things.

No woman, however, has the right to bad mouth a father to his kids irrespective of what the man has or hasn't done.

Hmmmmm

LabuleofNigeria:
Who doesnt want to be a good father?

The hardship and challenges faced by men in this present economy is more enough reasons most men become irrational and boycot the true role of fatherhood. Fathers/husbands in a balanced state of mind emotionally & financially knows their roles and what is right

Not easy however they need to work at it.

And thank you for resurrecting the thread.

One year later, the bold command refused to function in the OP.

Richy4:
This Spiritual Head and Tail thing sounds more like a headache.

That is why I like the parable of the talent in the scripture. In that little passage, it was written that the Lord gave each and every one of them what they are capable of.. He gave out 5 talent; 3 talent; and 1 talent.
Any analyst could ask but why didn't he give them the same talent to level the field of play? He gave them based on what they can do...

In my opinion ( since everyone is entitled to theirs) if u are a father, forget about this label thing and work with your partner.. If she's good in taking care of the kids, don't say oh! I am the spiritual head.. blah blah blah... Just channel your energy to another aspect that can benefit the family.. If u are finding it difficult financial wise, seek help from your wife.. let her work and provide / support u.. Don't die because they said u were the spiritual head, the provider and other bla bla bla..

There are men that are "all rounder".. they can be everywhere.. and they can do all things... from praying to taking care of the kids to being a handy man. It works for them and their families.. If u are not like that, don't force yourself into doing what you cannot do in the name of being a spiritual head.. Look for what works for you and your family.. If u can't handle a toolkit, look for handyman that can fix your taps, electrical faults etc and pay them.. By doing that u have reduced your chance of finding yourself in the hospital.. u have also provided for someone whose livelihood depends on that work.
The bottom line is having a peaceful family and creating an atmosphere where children respects their parents.. and not a sergeant major's home..

If every man is gonna follow through everything written up there, I don't think a man's livespan will be up to 40 if he should marry at 29.

Na wa for you

Just this small thing?

HeavenlyCherub:
My dear it’s rampant in the US we have seen this in Dallas, Houston, Maryland.. I’m sure not all those women are proud or consumed by being big madam because they now have money. Men just can’t allow the woman to be more successful

Then how are the older nurses living with their families?

The elders in the community need to start doing something.

OruExpress:
You also have to teach the child to have pride in themselves. If peer pressure is enough for someone to change their name, that same person is not strong enough to reject drugs, crime, predatory sexual activities etc. Not saying that everyone who changes their name in school is a druggie or criminal but it's a sign that something is missing.

something that hopefully gets patched with maturity but is necessary at a young age because the negative influences in society only increase with time.

@bold:

If there is a surge of men killing their nurse wives, can the Nigerian elders in that community come together to put a stop to the menace?

Can the elder nurses also engage younger nurses for signs and red flags?

Why would a man want to risk murder and/or suicide against a woman in a clime that is gynocentric and has the resources to bring him to book?

missvaj2015:
This is my first time doing this but I would be very fast. Please don't mind my typo errors.
I have been with this guy for over 7 years now. He was the one that trained me from my jss 3 to university level and I can proudly say that been a graduate today was his work. He clothes me, feed me and lots more. But the problem started when another woman came into the picture. I didn't care because, am from a polygamous family and am use to seeing women having mate . he also is from a Muslim home and I didn't see anything wrong with him having some else. I even told him that he can even bring in more women as far they don't give me troubles. We live together in a 3 bed room flat and the other lady moved in with us. Me I don't care oh because I have other things to do with my time.
Now the girl is giving me issues everyday. She keep giving me side talk every minute. My man and this girl is having issues right now and the whole thing is on my head. He said am the one giving this girl the mind to insult him. And mind you the girl doesn't talk to me even if I try to make friends with her, she snube me. I was even reminding my man that her birthday is in too weeks time and what's the plan and he told me that I would be the one to bake her cake. We planed a surprise birthday for her.
The problem now is that: hubby is mad at me. What did I do?
He said am the one that so making the girl to insult her that I was supposed to oppose him when he brought the girl to the house. Am confuse and I don't know what to do. Plz I need advice

Are you guys married?

Since you are both fine with polygamy, can he rent a separate apartment for the lady? Or lay down ground rules afresh.

Except I am wrong, the husband usually stays with the first wife/ woman abi?

Or discuss with your man to know what his expectations are and pick up from there.

Tiredagain:
I am active member here, reason for the pseudo account.

Long post alert :

I was/have been in a relationship with him for years, initially it was all rosy till he began to switch on/off at intervals.We hardly request for anything from each other because we both work and contented with the little we earn. Each time I sense that he wants to be left alone, I quietly give him his space. I have tried times without number to make him open up to me but it will all seem like a waste which makes me to retreat all the time. Mind you, he knows that i love him and practically can do anything or forgive him anytime he messes up.

Our last fight before this was that he called me during working hours and wanted to know if I was chanced to meet him then i asked him if all was well with him, he became angry and dropped the call. I tried reaching out to him for months but he intentionally avoided me, after 3 to 4 months of my efforts, I decided to let him be to concentrate on myself and others, he started stalking me on all online platforms. We later settled though.

To the main issue for this post, I have a colleague at work, we discuss practically everything and anything. My other colleagues knows that we are both best friends and nothing else, we also make fun of ourselves on 'stories'. But the issue is that my boyfriend thinks something is beyond that our friendship and that i have things i am hiding from him. To be honest, my best friend has confided a lot to me that i promised him that it would stay between us. Mind you, we have never sex chatted nor call ourselves romantic names of any sorts.

So recently, after making up with my fiance, he wanted to meet up with me after so many months, I obliged, only for him to request for my phone, I gave him voluntarily, as he was going through it, he wanted to open the chat I had with my best friend but I forcefully collected the phone from him. I tried talking him out that there's nothing going on between me and my colleague but he assumed and concluded that something is going on between us . He said that my attitude shows that I value my best friend more than him but i tried proving him wrong because some many times, I needed his attention he wasn't there and my best friend is the only one who knows everything and vice versa.. He told me right through my eyes that it is over.

Besides, he had once forcefully collected his phone from me sometimes last year when i was updating his WhatsApp for him and I mistakenly stumbled upon a chat of him with a lady.. I never made a case about it with him

Honest Truth : I have never involved myself in any sexual act with my best friend or any man apart from my fiance.. I value both my friendship and relationship but my fiance is making me to choose

Please i need your genuine opinion
Help a sister

Was i wrong
What advice would you give to me


Please i don't wish for it to make Frontpage because either of them would see and know who's behind the post because they are both members but not active�


Modified : the content of the chat I had with my colleague was about my fiance and there were so many provoking words in it, reason i did what i did because I never intended hurting him

1. What do you need a male 'bestie' for when you have a boyfriend?
2. Why have you refused to place a premium on yourself that your emotions and body becomes easy entry and exit for your boyfriend?

You are telling your boyfriend that your male friend is more available than him: are they playing same role in your life or why the competition?

You also know your boyfriend doesn't love you or value you. Yet, you will keep going off and on till you are stuck and get married to him.

You will now open a fresh moniker three years later wailing how your husband is scum.

As for your male friend, if he is not good enough for a relationship, stop investing too much emotions in that friendship.

Ladylite:
Psychologically you forget that Jealousy is also a human nature.

If we are not animals then we can not condescend to the animalistic hormonal demands that lacks intelligence and control.


I would rather that you build your mind than your body. If monogamy was a scam then
Sons will fvcc mothers, daughters would be intimacy gadgets in the home, strangers will be entertained by sex and procreation will loose its meaning.


Just because you don't have self control does not mean you should claim monogamy is scam just to feel comfortable with your lack of discipline.

Imagine living in such a world, then sex will be as cheap as 'good morning' & it will loose its sacredness and value.

Monogamy is the control given to sex because it has the tendency to make anyone go crazy. True Love is when a person chooses monogamy.

Pls reconsider this and stop thinking the wrong way. Any society without laws is a cannibalistic zoo

@bold:

Please come to 2020

There is nothing sacred about sex anymore.

People will share bodily fluids and spirits faster than they will share a plate.

Too much deaths these days.

God console her family and all she has left behind.

chii8:
The father warned her but she didn't listen,a stubborn housefly goes to the grave with the corpse,may her soul rest in peace and I hope she finds whatever she was trying to get from the filming.

@bold:

AT where?

SweetCunt97:
The boyfriend died too?

Nope, he was on another bike.

RedPhoenix:
The world's new endemic, self obsession and self worship that ultimately evolves into narcissism



The beginning of narcissism, self worship. And this is what most self help apologetics teach not in fulfillment in one's higher calling or service to divinity, humanity and one another

The modern age idol is self.

I pity the father sha. God console her parents and family.

Hathor5:
1. I liked e.fosky's post because of his willingness to take responsibility albeit I found his position a little bit too extreme because it takes two to make a marriage/relationship work or fail. I said the same thing regarding unwanted pregnancies and I stand by it. Everyone involved is responsible and must be held accountable. No fun without responsibility. No leadership without accountability.

2. And just because I like it when people (this is not even a gender issue for me) take responsibility does not mean I want a man exactly like him.

3. I don't know him. I have not even read all of his posts on this thread. I can like someone's post or parts of it and still not agree with the person fully.

4. I mentioned Y.baby because not every woman needs or wants to be saved like Cinderella. And any woman who does not need a man's money can still desire and have a responsible man.

How these two points contradict each other you will hopefully explain.

1. It takes two for the marriage to fail; yes. However, what is your plan to succeed? If a man/woman picks a bad spouse (goat) with eyes closed, whose fault is it when a goat starts to behave like a goat? Why should the man/woman complain that the goat is behaving like a goat?

2. Ok

3. Fair enough and fully agree with you

4. Well, a man with the idea that he should/must handle ALL the financial responsibility in his home models the Cinderella/ Prince relationship irrespective of the financial worth of the wife. She can be a housewife or a CEO. She doesn't 'need' to 'need' his money.

LordKO:
Perhaps it's an individual thing, because I relate and treat people based on their behaviour/personality. Meanwhile, if I'm not doing her a favour, she's equally not doing me a favour.

A family to me is one where mutual altruism and conscientiousness reign supreme over egoism, perfidiousness and imperiousness - let's say no to false wokeness. Love is an equal variant of submission.

@Bold:

On point

light099:
There is nothing too much to do for your woman.
"So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her." - Genesis 29:20

The only question is, does she deserve it? Pete Edochie said something about kneeling to propose to a woman, and I had no choice than to agree with him, especially with what ladies have reduced the good old days of dignified womanhood to.
Why kneel down to propose to a lady who has knelt down to give head to different men?
Why give a woman your whole heart while her heart is already shared in pieces among different strange men she called EX?
Why labour in active service, sweating for a wife who is getting serviced behind you. You're the laborer, they're the reapers, and they laugh at how stupid you're.
Aside that, in every other good quality of a wife and a woman of honor, isn't she found wanting?

Women used to be creatures of honour and glory but new crop of ladies keep showing the world that, the old glory is now gone.
The problem now is, most of ladies in this generation are confused as to what they want. They want the prize but they can't pay the price. They want to live the despicable life of filth but they want the glory and honour of the queen in a palace.
Smart Niggas know they shouldn't treat casual things as special things, only simps do otherwise.

Now to your question about gas. Once you're married, there are some things you would do, not because she's worth it or not, but because it's necessary.

Oga, you dey vex o!

On top gas cylinders.

You as the man approaches a lady; do well to approach the one worth it to you.

The one that can ginger you to love your wife sacrificially like Jacob did for Rachel.

The choice is yours.

AFONAMARO:
I pity the man's wife. The man is one of those men who believes women are inferior and less of a human.

My wife has never gone to fill gas, buy fuel etc. I handle them personally

@bold:

How does filling gas equates to a man seeing his wife as his equal?

What if the non gas filler thinks his wife is equal to him and should be able to sort herself out?

LewsTherin:
You know those guys who sell gas in cylinders are also willing to deliver, right?

At least the ones around me are. A simple phone call and the gas cylinder is changed.

Next level

Hathor5:
Not every lady is like poor Cinderella so not every lady needs or wants to be upgraded.

How can you have a problem with Y.baby's post and agree with e.fosky (to the extent of likening him to a man you can respect) when they are essentially saying the same thing?

Let me tell you for free: Y.baby is the feminine application of e.fosky's postulation. A good masculine application was Risenphoenix before he deactivated.

IF you want a man like efosky, follow Y.baby back to back and read up all her posts.