₦airaland Forum

Ybaby:
Ah mi ke.... member since 2006

I have NL monikers lorishi rishi...

My business moniker is different from my family moniker

at be be lo....

This moniker is specifically to educate the family setting because finance is the main cause of broken homes

Ride with me as I tag you

How many monikers do you have?

50, 100, 7

Elder00001:
She has brought religion into it again

You have problem with religion? Not surprised, majority of people who have problem with my threads have issues with religion. Thinks it is archaic, misogynist, old-school etc.

I don't have issues with religion.

Move on.

Elder00001:
With the kinda things op posts on this section one might think she’s above 70 but I’m damn sure she’s in her mid thirties or late thirties at most. She’s too unexposed and archaic.

Even the old traditional folks around me aren’t this archaic. Pukes.

I am just 32 at the end of the year.

You might want to modify your post to the correct age.

ibkayee:
No that's not it. If you actually read the OP let's be honest with ourselves
It’s a writeup that basically asserts that marriage is somehow inherently a better purpose than work, but done in a way that attempts to be lowkey by way of just alluding to things. Perhaps if she had just stated her preference rather than ‘telling’ people what the standard is along with the usual thinly veiled patronizing tone and smugness, people wouldn’t have been as turned off.

Her vibe is very 'white woman tears'(the stereotype) adjacent

@bold:

When I told a poster that marriage and work are both means to an end and compared the difference between purpose and work? Check the post here, the bold decided NOT to work for this portion
https://www.nairaland.com/5848414/placing-wrong-emphasis-work-aka#89403863

This line is lifted directly from the OP:
Every body has the duty to discover their purpose and fulfill it.

In summary, work is just work: a means to an end of living a better life and fulfilling your purpose/assignment in earth.

This is another line capturing everything;
Discover your purpose (the hard part), then marry someone who keys into that purpose and vice versa. While at it, you would surely have a work to earn a living.

How can I think marriage is our purpose and tell people to look for it?

You'all should just admit you saw bukatyne and went bonkers

Ybaby:

You joined 2014 with less than 400 posts?

We need a what'sapp group for you people.

KanwuliaExtra:
None.

Remember body language is also a form of communication? WITHOUT WORDS?
Your nferences are never direct and OFTEN loaded with ambiguity. That is usually the M.O. of A TYPICAL literary con-artistry. Pastors, Lawyers and Politicians use such mechanisms to brainwash naive folks around them by twisting and weaving in and out of a given subject matter.

You see?

It is not what you DID NOT WRITE that is the problem, but the SUBTLE INNUENDOS from your writings that leave room for misunderstanding and ambiguity. Your clarifications are even worse.

We can always read between the lines.

I asked you for clarification and you ignored my questions to you. Hey? You had the chance to state UNEQUIVOCALLY what you meant.

Do you remember this posts of mine from page 1-3 asking you to explain what message you were trying to send. Your subsequent responses were even more evasive and derailing. The more we asked for some clarifications, the more you disingenuously digressed and jumped from side topic to side topic.

Then to add insult to injury, some “adventitous IDs” sprung up “in medias res” to DERAIL and MISLEAD you as usual. Having achieved their mischievous aims in leading you astray with their baseless hi-fivings-and-divings, your lost control of YOUR OWN THREAD and became extremely disoriented. HMMMM! Very entertaining lessons in mind-control I tell ya!

Even when multiple well-meaning posters gave you your due respect, and offered suggestions to you for better presentation of ideas. you tried to insult their intelligence by dilly-dallying and meandering in, out and around unrelated subject matters. You could not process simple constructive criticisms.

If we did not find some of your topics interesting or entertaining, we would not be posting on them.

Unfortunately for people like you, NL is not full of illiterates and gullible posters. Some here are PSYCHO-FORENSIC SCIENTISTS. They watch and study online personas and can see RIGHT THROUGH THEM! Yup!!!

Most of us have all grown up on NL and will not really want to regress to the micro “NI-ZOO-RIA” NL was 5 to 7 years back with Seun’s poor management.

Desist from encouraging online, intellectual juveniles and sadists in using you to promote their sadistic, chauvinistic, mysoginist agenda on and off NL.

We ALL want to change lives . . . For the stronger and better.

We will not always agree, but being condescending and patronizing is not healthy in changing lives for the better on or offline.

You are a woman like me. I think!
We must NEVER body-shame or soul-shame fellow women for the entertainment of “little boys” and “spiteful little girls” on NL, who are waaaaaay too dysfunctional to maintain healthy relationships with anything around them on or offline.

You don’t see these same little boys attacking themselves for cheap female attention do you?

Why must YOU and your threads be used ?

I don’t get it.

Thanks!

This post has gone through several modifications.

It is false to say people standing up for me derail my treads first; it is false to say I am condensing and patronizing.

So it is ok to insult Bukatyne however, guys should not insult the ladies that insult me?

For the last one year, certain monikers have jumped from one of my threads to derail and imply what was not said. I would have believed my threads are misleading if they commented on the ones about responsibilities of men or women knowing their worth. Nope, they are noticeably absent in those.

Remember I asked you what marriage was to you on this thread which triggered your tirades?

I engaged the first three or some monikers on this thread before the clowns started.

He who comes to equity MUST come with clean hands.

When you are ready to address whatever perceived issues about my threads, I might be here.

Till then, let's enjoy.

If the women bring their madness, the men are ready for them.

My people say 'God drives the flies for the tailless cow.'

Ybaby:
In a family setting the husband provides he protects - locks the doors at night, spiritual head, kids school fees, shelter, discipline etc

the wife nurtures basically she she does everything else - family health, ego stroking, storytime, PTA, Home cleaniness, Kids to school, Gifts for Teachers, Arranging holiday time, Nourishment etc

For the kids
She teaches affection and pampering - he teaches affection and courage
They both teach self esteem but it is more of his responsibility to let his kids know the child of who they are
They both do homework but it is her responsibility to teach and guide the child in the path of moral
They both teach business but it is more of Daddy's role
etc





Any job! some jobs are more feminine but she can do any job as long as she is able to perform the above duties for her family

I run a software company and code really well - we have a staff of about 30 programmers
I run an importation company and own 5 ecommerce websites that are doing quite well
Also a media company that is doing ok but could be better
Both companies are over 6 years and though my husband gave me capital - he does not ask me for money and he never will. Na man him be.



My husband is not required to do chores in the house at all. If he wants to - all well and good but he is a very busy man with plenty on his shoulder- because of him other men have a salary to feed their family.

I have helps that do chores and I coordinate. I cook dinner every night too and make sure we have a meal together Oga, myself and the children. We talk about our day and give support. Crack jokes - watch TV or play monopoly.
He also gives one weekend a month for family recreation and a vacation every year - all funded by him but organised by moi



Once a boss slapped by ass, I slapped him and my husband later locked him up. No one messes with the Queen.

I also never say no to seexx in 19 years. I respect my husband as in truly adore and respect him not audio type. He is a one of a kind man and he in turn adores me even more - I am the queen

Hope this answers your question

Interesting

Ego stroking very funny

My questions very well answered.

Thank you and God bless your family.

Tozic:
You left EEE, CHE, and AGE...

You must be one tough of a hell.. Your stamina is big.

You people will pay for this tete a tete on my thread o

Bj5all:
So it must be office romance to celebrate a colleague?

What are you doing for her this year?

She is my sister's birthday mate.

dingbang:
yea yeah ... Its obvious...

Ha ha

They are married.

He has a thread on it.

Well Buhari was a dangerous choice so the product of a dangerous choice would always be dangerous.

Ybaby:
It has worked for me for 19 years and works for many people too.

The ones who donot adher to roles open marital thread on Nairaland

I was going to modify the post.

Hahahahaaha at the last line.

So what are the rights/responsibilities of each party?

What kind of jobs do you think is ok for women? I see you talk about dinner time and all that. That means you are a bit in control of your time.

Also, do you handle all the chores alone?

I agree with you that there is a difference when you have a job for having sake and you have a job because you need to have it.

KanwuliaBaby:
1. The emphasis can never be wrong if a woman contributes to the net income of her home.

2. Are you implying that working is a man’s “burden” alone in the 21st century?

3. Should men also place the “wrong emphasis” on work while the women work 10% on their careers and 90% on their families?

4. Are you referring to “married women with children” only?

5. What exactly is YOUR definition of “FAMILY”?

6. In the words of “Gifty”. . . . . . “I am NOT UNDERSTANDING”. . . . . ? ? ? ?

1. Waters have passed under the bridge however, this thread is not about marriage. It is about women (I write to women alot) not investing too much in their jobs/work forgetting it is a means to an end. It is a call to find what her purpose is and fulfill it. The thread is bore out of the ongoing pandemic and the resultant loss of jobs. My people would say 'soldier come, soldier go, barrack go remain.' Working is helping our bosses build their dreams, let's go find ours.

2. Nope. I am giving them further reasons not to focus all on work.

3. A man rarely places his emphasis on work in the first place. A man works to feed his family; that is why you hear 'make money and women would follow you'; 'don't marry until you make money bla bla'. I can not place a ratio however, we should fulfill our purpose and build our families while at it. Before transitioning to our purpose, we need to take our work diligently. No excuse for sloppiness or shoddiness at work. If one cannot excel at another man's business with constant management, how would one deliver her purpose with minimal or no supervision?

4. No, all women. I know young women fitting into their purpose before marriage sef.

5. Family is family: Husband, wife & children (biological & adopted {officially or unofficially})

6. Gifty is known to be a beautiful liar.

Ybaby:
Those men are myopic. That is like a woman disrespecting a man because she bore the child.

Each party brings a certain resource(s) to the table and they are equal but different.

It is only an silly man that will disrespect his wife because he pays Bill's.

In saner climes the wealth is shared into half when dissolving the marriage - you know why? Becos if the man had to baby sit and nurture he will not have so much wealth and much more.

What a woman brings to the table is intangible eg peace, love, dinner time, family together time, spiritual time and when you force her to concentrate on the tangible guess what she can no longer bring the intangible.... so peace is the first to fly out then dinner time follows, picnic and family togetherness is gone.

She hates the man for it.

A woman must have her own money, own her own business or job but if her boss slaps her butt - a catered for woman will slap him back right away but if she is the bill player she takes it and becomes his girlfriend sef then the man comes on NL and says he is being cheated on.

We discuss the effect but the root is because she needs to make ends meet. A married woman should not be desperate to make ends meet. Put her in that situation and .. we have threads where seemingly kind wife turns to Dracula.

Leave your wives money for her. She does not have the capacity to feed a grown man, cloth him and shelter and it does not matter how much money she has.... she does not have the emotional capacity to do this and still see the man as her crown... he becomes her bathroom slippers and NO MAN except shameless men like @emmaodet can take the disrespectful eyeing of a woman who is feeding them. If you are feeding your wife and she eyes you.... you can look away and spank her during runtime but if she is paying your Bill's. It goes right into the soul.

This is my take.

Hmmmmmm

So you are a strict believer of roles.

NoToPile:
Expantiate pls, dont want to misunderstand you

Summarizing the bolded line.

God might choose our spouses however we need to work at it.

God's choosing just make challenges (not bad behaviors like adultery, abuse, extreme jealousy, stifling of potentials etc) easier to bear because you know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

KanwuliaExtra:
A will convince you! WITH PROOF!

TRIPLE FULL TIME JOBS!

Me ke?

The fact that you spoke ten pages about your family FIRST with pictures is proof enough for me.

The thread was not even about family to start with.

KanwuliaExtra:
A will convince you! WITH PROOF!

.

KanwuliaExtra:
You bet!
In a VERRRRY OPEN MARRIAGE TOOOO!

The big sister!

See our efiko, efiwe o!

Children nor de tey big

Translated verbatim from my language.

Keep peppering them joor.

So you have a job, husband, kids and even have time for them

Carry go!

Acidosis:
I know right

Maybe I should have added quit your job and become an 'entrepreneur'.

Those yeye people that can make you use a finger to carry a trailer.

[b]One of the biggest decisions that you will make in your life is to choose the man or woman that you will marry. People take it lightly but it can make or break your life. So, with all the ambition and the vision that you have, with all the dreams that your parents have for you, if you marry the wrong guy or the wrong girl, everything can be derailed one way or the other. So, don’t play with it. Don’t marry a fool, whether male or female.

Have a sense of who you are and when you have a sense of who you are, you will understand who is fit for you as the lord leads you. You will know that it’s not about naira or kobo; it’s not about silver and gold. The son of a rich man is not a rich boy because only the one that has the cash flow has the money.

What’s the best thing that will happen? They have a big wedding. They didn’t have it for you; they had it for their own image. They will give you a house and many cars on day one, all the cars will get old at the same time and if you do not have the capacity to maintain or to keep them, you’re already in trouble.

Cash flow is the money you need to do everyday not for the wedding ceremony. So, marrying the son of a rich man is not your solution.

Seek to find the bone of your bone who can accommodate the vision and the ambition in your heart as a person. Who can be an enabler for you to emerge, who can encourage and support you. He might not look like it right now but just understand that people manifest in seasons.

Don’t allow anybody to deceive you. Look for a man that fears the lord. A man who is responsible and right thinking, he has vision and ambition. I guarantee you, you will show up somewhere and you will be glad you met him.

There are many that have seemed like it when we were young; many of those that seemed like it did not emerge to be it. So, you cannot tell who this person will become but you can test his character, his person, his commitment, his truthfulness, his love for you and his ability to hold and to encourage you.

Especially for the girls, God made them male and female. Every promise of God is for you as it is for the male. God meant for you to fully manifest yourself. Be the best of yourself, not the best of another person at every stage of your life [/b].

The above is Ibukun Awosika verbatim.

http://motherhoodinstyle.net/2019/11/08/marriage-advice-female-bank-chairman-ibukun-awosika-must-read-every-single-woman/

At least, if you don't know me, you know her.

KanwuliaExtra:
Some new pictures ooooo!
Teaching my baby girl how to COOK!

“godly-children” my azzzzze!

Our Chi-Chi dancing cultural dance that year has grown?

Acidosis:
When has a topic/discussion on "discovering one's purpose" become a threat? Isn't this the same message we hear from highly paid motivational speakers?

Because it is bukatyne that created it.

Ybaby:
Eventually all wives who pay all or some bills cheat. I am not saying it is good I am only stating the fact.

Wives who shelter thier husbands eventually become violent towards the husband.

See the bible knows what it was saying when it said a man who cannot provide is worse than an infidel... those wives may pretend to respect thier husband in his face but gossip their husbands to neighbours, family and friends letting them know they pay the Bills.

What OP experienced is even small. When a woman pays Bills she emasculates the man in front of him or behind him.... she will sha find a way to subliminally let the world know she wears the trouser.

Na so we see am. I pray for you that you are able to fully pay your household Bill's and kids bills if you add your wife's bill she will let the world know you are the MAN!

Sunny Ade said one man was made to escourt his wife to her boyfriend house.... na money cause am.

Man is on earth to pay Bill's, to work and uplift his family...... may all men be able to do this because the consequences of otherwise is severe.

An angel can become a witch if she is made to pay a man's bills

So what do you think about men/culture who think it is ok to 'disrespect' women because they pay the bills?

NoToPile:
I am so sorry OP for what you had to go through may you find healing.


Things can go haywire in any marriage, one might have even married the best/right partner and things can still go wrong and it doesn't necessarily mean they didn't marry the right person.

I believe marriage requires lots of work and lots of prayers even if it was God that told us that partner is the best for us.

Marriages are made in heaven and lived out on earth.

gandyluv:
Never underestimate the power of a praying wife

How did praying wife enter this story?

LordKO:
Connotation of your friend's statement shows that she's a contentious wife - or let me assume that her husband's small-mindedness has made her to become a contentious wife. This, by extension, means that they aren't operating on a fair philosophy where conscientiousness/principle reigns supreme over expediency - they don't trust each other - self-interest/egoism is the order of the day in their union, capped with crassness.
 
A couple (a sane couple) who're of the same ethical leanings - healthy ethical leanings - and operate on a mutual fair philosophy will always allow principle to reign supreme over expediency. In this instance, it shouldn't be about if he sends 20k to his extended family, he must send 20k to my own extended family too, and vice versa, like your friend stated. Instead, it'll be about either of the extended families that need the help getting what's available from them, while if it's the normal occasional/seasonal benevolent gifts, they make sure the individual extended families get their deserving share. Truth is that, when two conscientious people have altruistic interest towards each other and decide to pursue oneness/marry, things always flow well effortlessly between them and that breeds understanding - understanding breeds love.

LOL. You no say I no accept the "sir" appropriation. I am, however, not going to stop addressing you as mama de mama.

@ Bold:

Very funny

Babe said it was cultural. She did not like the cultural aspect that gave the husband upper hand sha.

OEPHIUS:
Enugu Church Building's Collapse Imminent As Flood Wreaks Havoc (Photos)

After ignoring the "Stop-work"/ “Remove” orders by the Enugu Capital Territory Development Authority (ECTDA), structures on the premises of The Lord's Chosen Charismatic Revival Movement's headquarters in Enugu, have been badly damaged by flood, exposing the church building to imminent collapse, Igbere TV reports.

Igbere TV had reported that a section of Enugu residents living at the bank of Ekulu River, G.R.A, adjacent to the church, had raised the alarm over the imminent danger posed by the worship centre, which was built on the waterway on their property.

Inscriptions on the ongoing construction work at the church’s premises, show that the ECTDA had served “Stop-work” / “Remove” notices on the structures, but was completely ignored until the recent havoc which has wrecked the foundation of the church building.

Some residents of the neighborhood had lampooned those criticizing recent activities of the ECTDC, especially on social media, aimed at sanitizing and restoring Enugu City to its original master-plan. They noted that one of the grave consequences of such mischief against the development control agency is what the state is experiencing at the moment at The Lord’s Chosen worship centre in Enugu.

Igbere TV recalls that a three-story building under construction at Ezeluike Street, Olympic Layout, off One Day, Agbani Road, Awkunanaw, Enugu South Local Government Area of Enugu State, which was marked “Stop-work” by ECTDA recently collapsed after the contractor neglected government's order and continued work on the property.

The residents therefore charged the state government to enforce discipline and deal decisively with the alarming rate of illegal structures on waterways in the state, without fear or favour, in order to save lives and avert avoidable damage of people’s property by flood.

http://igberetvnews.com/1350897/enugu-church-buildings-collapse-imminent-flood-wreaks-havoc-photos/

Since the local authority in the Church did not comply, ECTDA should have escalated to the HQ.

And if they are not compliant, serve them notice to bulldoze, quote the Bible where it says we should obey government authorities and bulldoze it.

God forbid it collapses when members are inside.