₦airaland Forum

supremenews:
Source: https://www.titiloyeblog.com/2020/05/i-dont-have-sex-with-my-partner-even.html

Can someone please send her contacts so I can ask for her neck piece for my birthday

That's all that interests me in this convo.

phantomking:
To everyone who showed concern I am extremely grateful, he was found this early morning in ajah

Thank God.

How did he get there? Is he able to say?

Ariza:
Buka, Marriage has never curbed promiscuity or lessen bastards. Let's be realistic. Rather it has made most people hypocrites, preachers of truth but doers of evil. It places both Men and Women in tight corners they end up cunningly twist themselves out.Married people cheat, divorce, have illegitimate children, keep concubines, go after younger girls and boys and crazily cheat with fellow married ones. Even the so called followers of Paul's advice now leave priesthood to feel women's warmth, those who still want to keep their posts go for nuns to satisfy their urges. But then they all still want to keep that MARRIED and PRIESTHOOD status. Because that's what society want.
Here's the deal: If most men have their way, they won't get married. Do we talk about the uneven responsibility, the struggle to cater of their family, the need to remain with one woman etc. Most men have abandoned their passion, their true self just to remain legally attached to a woman. Heaven helps him if the Woman is a devil.

Now to the Woman, believe me if all women are financially independent, emotionally intelligent, successful career wise most will not get married. Especially the African Women. African Marriage is draining! And women are mostly at the receiving end. A man can wake up one day and decide to change his SITUATION without the society raising its brows while a Woman can't. A man can decide to follow his passion, find his true self, indulge in polygamy or keep concubines, send his devilish wife packing without any black lash. But the Woman can't, most times women either learn to accept a scum of a husband or shift her attention to her children. But deep down she will continue to curse the day her parents accepted her dowry. That is the difference.

Now, if some women decide to avoid all headache at all cost and they decide to live by themselves and die unmarried, have they done any wrong? Some men don't want and will never get married, why is it a taboo for Women? Don't their lives and sanity matter too? We heard and read stories of Men and Women who lost their lives to violent partners because they didn't let go when they should have yes we blame them for choosing marriage over their lives but the question remain: Wouldn't we have also insulted, stigmatized, downgraded them if they had chosen to let go or remained Unmarried? Oh well your guess is as good as mine.

My point: People should be able to choose how they live their lives, even Christ and Heavenly Father gave us that freedom, Who are we to judge anyone?

'Freedom' to have several sexual partners and kids out of wedlock.

It is not about to marry or not.

I responded directly to someone's comments and elaborated further.

There are women of substance like Florence Nightingale (Mother of modern nursing), Susan B. Anthony etc. who knew their calling/purpose would be affected by marriage system of the time and dedicated their lives to fulfilling that calling hence the fruits we see today.

They did not see their 'singleness' as an opportunity to 'sleep around' and have one or two kids which is what I said promotes promiscuity and immoral kids.

donaldeke:
The death has been announced of Mrs. Grace Okeleke, wife of the Head, Public Relations, Globacom, Mr. Andrew Okeleke.

According to a statement issued by the family on Thursday, the late Mrs Okeleke died in a motor accident on Lagos road, Ikorodu, on Monday evening. She was hit by a Lagos BRT bus with registration number EPE 59 XR.

Continue HERE:

https://www.reporterswall.com/head-of-globacom-public-relations-dies-in-a-brt-bus-accident/

God console her family and all affected by her death.

sisisioge:
There you have it! The warrior keeper of our societal belief .

1. Sister, promiscuity is everywhere even in the confines of marriage. Immoral children come out from the confines of marriage.

2. Essentially, moral conduct is a personal choice of people regardless of their circumstances.

3. Haven't you seen several married men and women flouting the rules in the majority?

4. Haven't you seen dysfunctional homes even inside a marriage where husbands and wives are still together?

5. No wonder once the thoroughbred Africans escape to countries with open minds about this ideal they quickly choose to live as they prefer.

It is really well.

@bold, I am for a greater society not 'keeper of societal beliefs'. The family is the bedrock or smallest unit of the society. Get the family right, and the society is better for it.

1. Promiscuity is everywhere because the society is broken; because people live their lives as they please. Ditto immoral children. That a person took the vows of matrimony does not mean they are moral or their character/moral defect is washed away. Bring it to Nigeria; they say all men are cheats; why is it easy for the men to get sex outside their marriages? What made these men unwilling to uphold their martial vows? Because 'everyone' is 'free' to do as they please. Everyone is free to do as they please sees 'woke' till a mother sees her 19 year old dancing naked on instagram, sleeping with a 50 year old for cash or a father sees his child with a sugar mommy older than his mother. Bobrisky is a entertainment personality; nobody prays to have a son like him. We are free till a 16 year old gets drunk, drives and kills a whole family; till someone thinks it is OK to put drugs in drinks for people and rape them or kill them. Or till an Adolf Hitler thinks 'oh, I hate Jews' and set out on a genocide.

2. What makes that personal choice? It is the training and disciple imbibed in a person from childhood. Are there some exceptions, yes.

3. Go to 1.

4. Go to 1.

5. Because the average African isn't moral in the first place. Don't confuse morality with timidity or hypocrisy rife in our society. If we were moral, you would not have politicians who have supporters, people exploiting others, people maltreat anyone they are unfortunate to be above, deceit, sexual promiscuity, inordinate desire for wealth, maltreating vulnerable people etc.

NoToPile:
Abi nau

Funny, I don't do SDK and Linda Ikeji's blogs.

Cummulatively, I have not visited those blogs five times.

Humility is a great virtue.

NoToPile:
Its like saying people should stop visiting nairaland because some people are anti marriage, For marriage, traditional, redpillers, feminists, misogynists etc.

Is it not people that post the comments.

Its like people don't know how to survive on social media, you read some the way you read a good story(some you ignore totally), you laugh over some posts, you ruminate over some sensible posts, you learn from some and you comment on some posts. Besides anybody can post anything on social media it might not be a true reflection of what they are or represent offline so know how to sift through.




You just called my attention to it Lemme even check out the blog and see what the hullabo is about

There is no such thing as bad publicity

sisisioge:
Actually, it's a taboo for thoroughbred African women to shun marriage. They would rather marry someone if only to get divorce the next minute to at least mark the register and have children. We are yet to be bold enough to outrightly shun it and get away with it, without the society having our hides.

But the truth is, a woman who has the options of making money through a fulfilling career, have children and get attention from her preferred seex ( straight or ga) at anytime will rather stay single. In that case, marriage will only complicate her life.

And weaken the society because:
1. It would promote promiscuity;
2. Lead to immoral children.

If they want to stay off marriage, then be like Paul or Queen Elizabeth.

This also applies to men.

We see the effect already.

Monishaa:
I thought exactly the same thing when I first saw this color combination, not on her though.

I have seen stranger ones that look so good.

Aystarz:
Low self-esteem could have any human doing the emboldened. Her tweet further proves it.

Toor.

Acidosis:
Hmmn

I have realized that if you are not on same moral plane or have same ethics, some things would never make sense.

Imagine a Muslim trying to sell polygamy to you.

'They have at least two fathers' Ms. Deng suggested.

Local woman cannot can!

Is she suggesting a baby can be formed from multiple men?

My wonder is how 'friends' have such animosity against themselves and still carry on with the friendship.

She mocked you because you had a child in 400L; either trash it with her or cut her lose.

No, you wait for about 4yrs later to 'mock' her too.

You both are a perfect fit.

dobnina:
I have been a blog visitor on Stella's blog for years snd i am complete opposite of everything you wrote up there. Stella's blog doesnt make people bad. You choose your path yourself so dont try to blame Stella's blog for another person's irresponsibility.

Dobina children are healthy children

I know you are 'Dobnina'

SweetCunt97:
Most of them have partners but without the intricacies of "I Do". That they did not marry doesn't mean they led a lonely life

Marriage in their case was/would have been formalty.

Imagine Oprah saying she is not married and living with her lover like forever.

Nothing is annoying as an OP posting a link for someone to read.

The write up above is lenghty

The bold in the fourth post addresses it all.

Chinyere Anokwuru, who runs a skills acquisition center for women in Lagos, says women are usually the custodians of traditions that repress widows and their re-orientation is critical to abandoning these practices.
"The older widows believe that they have gone through these practices and believe others must go through the same thing," Anokwuru told CNN.

EOD.

Fight for women's rights
Chinyere Anokwuru, who runs a skills acquisition center for women in Lagos, says women are usually the custodians of traditions that repress widows and their re-orientation is critical to abandoning these practices.
"The older widows believe that they have gone through these practices and believe others must go through the same thing," Anokwuru told CNN.

At the Lagos-based center, widows are being taught about women's and property rights. They are being empowered to speak up against the practices in their communities.

"We are speaking at town hall meetings, telling village chiefs and widows to say no when another widow is told to sit on the floor for seven days wearing black cloth because she's lost her husband," she said.

For Rose, it's been three years since her husband passed away and she's still putting pieces of her life back together. She says it's been difficult raising funds to revive her clothing business and she now runs a local restaurant in Abule Egba, a densely-populated neighborhood in downtown Lagos.
Men are not subjected to these forms of rituals when their wives die. It is still a form of discrimination against women.

What profit she makes is only enough to pay her rent and keep her family going. But her husband's death has given her a new meaning beyond her material needs, she said. Instead of attending social functions on weekends -- which is what she used to do when she had her fabric store -- Rose volunteers at a women's advocacy group in the area. When a woman's husband has just died in the community, Rose is one of the people they call on for advice.

"I tell them the hell I went through, to let them know they don't have to go through these rites. They should just reject it," Rose said.

The fight for the abolition of widow rites should be seen as a fight for women's rights, she added.

"Men are not subjected to these forms of rituals when their wives die. It is still a form of discrimination against women."

Nwakwesi herself became a widow 25 years ago after her husband was killed in a car accident. After his death, she was confined to a room for 28 days after which she was asked to shave her head as part of Ikwa Ozu, the mourning rites performed by widows in Anambra state in Nigeria's southeast.

"My head was scraped with a blade, and two days after it was like my head was on fire. I had to be using menthol and pouring ice cold water on my head for three weeks because it was so hot," said Nwakwesi, who is pushing for the practices to be abolished.

On her return to Lagos, Nwakwesi says she and her four children were evicted from the apartment rented to them by her husband's employers. A few weeks later, she was suspended from the elementary school owned by the same employers, where she worked as a teacher.

"Our house was reallocated to another family. Under three months and at age 27, I went from being a wife to being a widow, with no house, job and with four children to care for," Nwakwesi, now, 52, told CNN.

Nwakwesi said she contemplated suicide at the time.

"It played out in my mind, the day my employers pasted my suspension letter on the school's notice board and as the pressure grew. I was overwhelmed ... I only snapped out of it because of my kids," she told CNN.

She is pushing for stronger laws she says will help "catch a widow when she falls."

"One woman who has just lost her husband cannot fight her in-laws, but if she knows the law will back her up, she will fight back," Nwakwesi told CNN.

'Horrendous and humiliating rites'
In 2005, the Anambra government signed the Malpractices Against Widows and Widowers (Prohibition) Law outlawing harmful mourning rites but researchers and Nwakwesi say the practice has still not stopped.

"Women in my group share the horrendous and humiliating rites they are forced to do, it is still happening but it must end," she said.
Anambra has two laws criminalizing widowhood rites, says Ndidi Mezue, the states' commissioner for women and children affairs, but its enforcement has been slow.

Widows who have been abused don't often report such cases to authorities for fear of backlash from their community.

"That is why we have social welfare workers going to communities to pick cases and also educate the women about their rights and the laws," Mezue told CNN.

In some communities in southern Nigeria, traditional leaders have begun calling on their subjects to stop these practices. But many widows are still pressured by their in-laws to perform the rites. Nigerian women from poor backgrounds are more likely to suffer physical abuse, compared to those from wealthy homes, according to Nwakwesi, and this discrimination against vulnerable women only makes her "more angry."

"There is this school of thought in this widow practice. Those they dare and those they can't. Do the high and mighty in Nigeria, who come from my area agree to do this? They don't and no one has the audacity to stand up to them," Nwakwesi said.

Physical abuse and disinheritance from families are among the many inequalities that women in Nigeria, and most of Africa, face after their spouses' death.

Society has not been kind to them either.

African women are often excluded from social and economic plans -- safety nets they desperately need -- after the death of a spouse or dissolution of a marriage, experts from the World Bank said in a 2018 report.

Nwakwesi, now a school proprietor in an upscale neighborhood in Lagos, said she had plans to grow her business after her husband's death but she had no means to source the funds. Over the years, she's also counseled and assisted widows after they were denied small business loans because they were not married.

"People think you won't be able to repay because now you are the only one bearing the responsibilities, but economic empowerment is one way to put a woman back on (her) feet," Nwakwesi said.

The next day, Rose says she was taken to a village gathering, where she was asked to marry one of her husband's siblings or another man from the community.

"They said I should choose a husband in replacement of my late husband. I was shocked ... one of the men said I could choose my son and I did, but most of them were not happy with that option," she says, her gaze fixed on her husband's photograph as she recounted the ordeal.

"I am one of the humiliated widows," she added, rubbing her finger where her wedding band used to sit.

Flora Alatan, Delta State Commissioner for Women Affairs, told CNN her department is working with the justice ministry to adopt the Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act (VAPP), a federal legislation with a provision that directly punishes the ill-treatment of widows.

The "Harmful Widowhood Practices" in the VAPP Act says people can be jailed for a maximum of two years or pay a fine of N500,000 (around $1,366) for abusing women whose husbands have died. Nigeria signed the VAPP Act in 2015, but a majority of the West African nation's 36 states are yet to adopt it and, consequently, the law can't be enforced in those states.

While she's pushing for the law in her state, social workers from her ministry are also going into communities to encourage women to report such cases, Alatan said.

"We're not just speaking to the women, we are talking to their daughters. The education of the girl child is important if we want to put a stop to these inequalities," Alatan said.

This work is also personal for her.

Alatan's husband died in February and she says her husband's extended family asked her to participate in some traditional rites for widows which she refused to do.

"I am presently mourning my husband and they told me there are some [cultural] or traditional things I must do. I told them that, 'No! I'll not bow to that and they cannot force me to do it.'" Alatan told CNN.

But she admits her experience is not the reality of many women in the country and says that is why the adoption of the bill is urgently needed to put a stop to these practices.

'Great deal of disadvantage'
There are 258 million widows around the world, according to UN estimates, and more than two million of them are in Nigeria, where 25% face a "great deal" of disadvantage and another 33% have experienced disadvantage, according to 2015 World Widows Report by the Loomba Foundation, a global NGO working with the UN to highlight the plight of widows.

CNN has reached out to the office of the Nigerian minister for women affairs but has not received a response.

Hope Nwakwesi, who runs Almanah Hope Foundation, a support group where widows can share their stories safely, says family members who carry out this abuse are hardly ever arrested or prosecuted.

Until the "Harmful Widowhood Practices" provision in the VAPP Act is enforced at the grassroots level, more women will face these forms of violence, she said.

"Government must realize that people hide under the name of culture to get vengeance on women," Nwakwesi said.

"What can be more humiliating than a woman shaving her pubic hair? Why should a woman be termed unclean because your husband is dead?" she asked.

Lagos, Nigeria — For many years, Rose's clothing store was the destination of choice for Lagos women in search of a new outfit for a party or occasion. She traveled regularly to textile hubs in Turkey to source high-quality fabrics for her clients and her children helped out in the family business on busy days during December festivities.

The small store in Oshodi -- in the heart of the bustling Nigerian city -- did a booming trade until personal tragedy struck the businesswoman in 2015. Doctors diagnosed Rose's husband with chronic kidney failure that eventually led to his death two years later at the age of 55.
The illness -- in a country where 4% of the 195-million strong population have access to health insurance -- drained the family's finances.

"I sold everything in my shop, undervalue, to get money for his weekly dialysis," Rose, 45, told CNN.

But the financial challenge she faced while caring for her sick husband was dwarfed, she says, by what she encountered after his death in 2017.
Following his burial in southern Nigeria, Rose says she was forced by her in-laws to undergo a series of rituals that included shaving her head, pubic hair, and stripping near her husband's grave. When she initially refused, Rose says they told her that she and her children would be banished from the local community in Delta State, where her husband was to be buried.

"I never wanted to go through that process, but when I asked them what if I don't do it, they said it [her refusal] means I killed my husband," she said, speaking to CNN.

Deprivation, seclusion
In parts of southern Nigeria, widows like Rose are subjected to a set of practices after their husband dies. They can be kept in seclusion for weeks, deprived of meals and made to live in unhygienic conditions. They are viewed as "unclean" and in need of cleansing rituals that can include shaving body hair and forcing them to marry a man related to their deceased husband, according to women's rights groups and researchers.

In some cases where the husband has died young, the wife sometimes becomes a suspect in his death and she might be forced to drink the water used in bathing his corpse or lie with his remains to prove her innocence, according to researchers in a 2015 paper published by the International Journal of Humanities and Social Science. Those who refuse are often accused of killing their husbands and expelled from their communities.

It's been three years since Rose's husband died, but her voice still shakes as she recounts the details of the rituals.

Speaking in her Lagos apartment, Rose says she was confined to a room at the back of her in-laws' house for two weeks.

"They threw food at me as if I am a dog ... nobody had any physical contact with me because anything I touch is unclean," she said.
"They woke me up at 2 a.m. and told me to start crying around my husband's grave. They said I should scream louder and until my cry wakes the community."

A day before she concluded the rites, Rose says elderly widows visited her.

"They asked me to shave my pubic hair, my armpit hair, my nails and bring them along the next day when they want to shave my hair," she said.
After that, she says her head was shaved and she was stripped naked.

"They burned everything I was wearing and my hair. Then, they told me to bathe in the same spot. I protested that I could not bathe in broad daylight. They insisted. People were looking at us, we had been there from 2 a.m. to 4 p.m., and I wanted it to end," she said.

Brownie22:
A viral video shared online by a Tweeter user, Nyeko Charles, captured a heartless man flogging his heavily pregnant wife outside their house

In the video the woman was seen lying on the ground naked while her husband was pouring water on her while flogging her

The viral video got the attention of people thus calling for the man to be arrested for doing such thing in front of their child

The cause of the flogging is yet to be ascertained. According to some Tweeter users who reacted to the video tweeted •
"In front of a child, this is wrong to let a child see his mum's unclothedness, this man should face the law".

Click here to watch the horrible video

A man was flogging his pregnant wife and instead of the bystanders to rescue the wife, beat up the man, take her to the hospital or just do anything, they stand and record so they can trend on social media.

Na wa!

Monishaa:
Marisa Tomei

The actress told Manhattan Magazine in 2009, “I’m not that big a fan of marriage as an institution, and I don’t know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings.”

Until you see some colors together, you really can never visualize their combo.

Female house brown snake + pink mice + OP

Perfect combo

MsZee:
I am going to go straight to the point.
The reason why I decided to write this was because of a thread I read on Naira land " I was a husband" where a devoted wife changed to a demon over time.
Please husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sisters, if your wife, girlfriend, sister is an avid reader of Stella Dimokokorsus blog, please, please, please, find a way to stop her.
That blog is anti marriage, anti good, anti men, anti fairness, the kind bitterness spewed on that blog against men is very alarming.
Women are encouraged, cheered, applauded for being demons in their marriages.
I believe that posters wife is a full fledged member, cos that is their MO.

Sisters, please for your own good and minds health, don't get entangled with that blog, its owner and members. They are too deranged.
Thanks

Everyone has the responsibility to guard their hearts, the derangement is every where.

So so sad.

God help us.

Acidosis:
Congratulations sis. Love the conclusion:

Great one, people should give concrete testimonies so others are guided.

Congratulations!

God will provide all the resources (emotional, financial, material, mental and spiritual) required to bring up your girls.

Amen.

Mother and children looking peng!

PrimadonnaO:
God doesn’t choose our spouses.

God sha gives wives to men?

Proverbs 19 vs 14: House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Vikky1425:
But you that is on NL 24/7 isn't bored too right? If I become too bored I can create 10 new more in a day

Oya create na.

Goodluck.

Your boyfriend did something you did not like and instead of discussing with him, you went through the stress of opening a new moniker on NL?

You are really bored.

MMotimo:
bukatyne
bukatyne
bukatyne

Another round of disgusting nonsense. How do you become entangled in stuff like this? I had no idea you had some notoriety here. Always thought you were just another young lady with old fashioned morals and conservative views.

My dear, you have to learn to ignore and not allow yourself to get on the defensive. Don't let anyone control you with their words. If someone addresses you respectfully, you respond. If they cannot be respectful, you should feel no obligation to acknowledge their words. It's not your fault they have poor communication skills. You simply ignore. If you don't know how, watch me ignore anyone that quotes my post for rubbish or passes snide comments about it Do not feel any obligation to argue and convince. What is that bible verse again about contentious arguments?

You should have better things to do with your time than give audience to trolls. It doesn't take deep thought to know that it's thoroughly distasteful to fight and bully online but people are still going to do it. Why? Hurt people hurt people. Never mind what anyone say, a fulfilled,
happy person does not come online and display thuggery because of a disagreement with another's views. Why then would you get into a back and forth with such characters? You have no influence over their lives but they feel a need to pass vile comments because they don't like what you are saying. That's insane.

Apparently, whatever evil threads you have on here hit a number of people the wrong way thus the caustic reactions. C'est la vie! I don't agree with every single thing you write but I respect and uphold your right to say it. You are not going to be able to convince everyone, even Jesus could not so why get distracted with arguments that are going nowhere?

My eldest once said everyone is entitled to their ignorance. Maybe you are the ignorant, maybe it's me, maybe it's your trolls. Who cares! Everyone should be able to enjoy their ignorance. Being constantly argumentative is caused by pride and ego. You know what I've learnt? The smartest people on earth avoid arguments and they are some of the most broad minded persons you will ever meet but empty barrels must to make the most noise! It is a natural act. Don't be tempted to waste your non renewable resource (TIME) on catty arguments. You were made for more.

Like my pastor says, if people can freely boast about degenerate behavior, what is stopping you from speaking about non degenerate behavior? If interpretation of degenerate differs, so be it, differences are allowed.

In summary, learn to ignore. Enjoy your life and use your time wisely


Lest I forget, congrats on your perfect marriage Forget what anyone says, no one enters marriage praying for it to not be
perfect. Na condition dey make crayfish bend.

My e-aunt, I am hailing from here.

I can almost imagine you say 'how many times did I call you' after my name.

@bold: I am that truly.

I really really appreciate this post, God bless you.

Learning to ignore, I will do more of that.

@2nd bold:

Thank you I need to own it.

Regards to your family.