₦airaland Forum

Everything is fight, fight, war, war.

I would rather divert the energy for more productive ventures.

The husband in the OP is not serious sha. He should have found a solution after the third child.

'Your body is yours' to do whatever you want till you forcefully keep a baby and force a man who did not want it to pay child support.

But that same man can't force you to keep the baby if he wants it.


@Vasectomy: many Nigerians are unwilling to deliberately go for any surgery or permanent change. A lot of people still pray against CS.

I believe with more education and honest pros & cons, more men might get on board with it.

Plead:
The bolded are caused by society. Societal wiring.

Nope.

It is innate.

That was why I specified between general house keeping like dishes, washing clothes, sweeping, cleaning etc. and more innate attributes.

NoToPile:

Nope


Yeah, you can download from YouTube it's about 700mb.

Let me send my akant.

crackland:

It is not funny jare.

xrayj:
Funny @bold

Till it happens

God forbid.

IceLip:
Covid is not up to 19 bro

You must be very interested in the artist 'near you.'

Well tell the artist that the pictures are lovely especially the baby boy.

Nature vs. Nurture.

While I believe that some roles are based nurture/societal expectations e.g. basic housekeeping, there are some roles that are nature and the concerned party naturally thinks about it.

1. For females: Warmth. There is this warmth a woman of the house aka wife brings. It is often said a man can buy a house, a woman makes it into a home (biko, I am not saying a woman can't buy a house; no drama ). It is the wife that would think of beautification, activities and processes to make that house a home. It is mummy that is thinking of picking beans in the freezer so it is easier to cook; stock up on stuffs at home; baking pastries so the home as a warm feeling, thinking up warm activities, decor, making sure everyone's clothes are well coordinated etc. etc. etc.

2. For males; Security/provision: The man of the house is thinking security; these locks are bla bla, the car has issues, the Gen has a funny sound, one million boys are around so we watch, the plug of the fridge shocks let me check, the roof is leaking, plumber needs to fix the faucet, encouragement etc. etc. etc.

I guess I am still back to nurturers and providers without the traditional implied meaning of it.

Is it politically incorrect to ask for the father?

Nice looking mother.

The dude is too 'mature looking' to be 17.

NoToPile:
Okay so I watched it yesterday

I loved the Ijesha dialect in the early part of the movie, that dialect always sounds like music to my ears

I couldn't imagine the embarassement at the scene of the marriage introduction where sister told wife's family that he doesn't have a job, can't imagine how the wife would have felt then even me watching the movie was feeling sorry for her.

In terms of quality it was okay, paid attention to minute details. 1960s looked and felt like the 60s, good locations too and as the years went by we saw changes in home furniture etc etc.

Its good they told it as it was, how he was very naughty as a young boy.

Absolute and total faith in God

Knowing ones purpose

Importance of the person one marries, it can make or mar either of the spouse's destiny, he needed someone who understood his purpose and vision, I doubt he would have come this far without the support of his wife and he actually included that in his proposal (I can't do it alone I need someone to do this with me )


And how Christain courtship should be not the deception that happens a lot nowadays.


And most importantly there is always a story behind every successful person even pastors, all the true men of God started from somewhere.

Anybody successful in whatever started from somewhere and built slowly and steadily, there's always a process behind the result any one sees.

Everybody heard about Agbara NLA but the ministry officially started the day sister accepted the proposal in 1985 that's about 7 years to when agbaranla came out on VHS ,it took much more for mount zion to be all over the map as prophesied let's say 30years plus. People want to start today and become big today, it doesn't work like that.

Lots of funny scenes like when shola's mum would be watching the expressions between Bro mike and shola, The moment shoals sister was indirectly interviewing shola when she came to look for bro mike.

All in all it is a good CHRISTAIN movie in terms of quality and content we could relate with his life story.

Are you by any chance writing part two?

I need to watch the movie anyways.

iahmed:
yes it is real!

We have not seen anything with the snowflakes bred under the guise of 'freedom' and respect for 'individualism' and 'feelings'.

When the world was saner, the writer would know that it is the person's yard and his kids can play and run around in it as long as they want as far as they do not disturb the neighborhood.

Report the snowflake to the authorities and if no respite, move your family out.

You don't want someone to kill your kids so that his dog can have a sunny view of YOUR yard.

star4ever:
I have a 42 years old brother who for over 18 years has been on hard drugs. He started this habit while in secondary school and couldn't finish tertiary education for same reason . Efforts made by the family to stop him from substance abuse and rehabilitate him at several occasions failed. Each time such effort is made, he recovers after a while but returns to the habit. Currently, he has become mentally deranged and there seems to be no solution at sight.

He has been admitted to different psychiatric hospitals on two occasions. At both times, he was treated and confirmed fit and sound to return to the society. The moment he was discharged, he quickly went back to his old ways and all the resources spent went into the drain. In one of the occasions, we were strongly advised to engage him as joblessness was one of the greatest problem causing the abuse. We got him engaged by securing a fantastic job which he also left after a week of working there. Other meaningful efforts geared towards engaging him to enable him to become occupied and start earning a living as a man also didn’t work out.

We have organised prayer sessions by powerful men of God, nothing has happened yet. I do want to sound like someone without faith. I strongly believe that our able God will make things beautiful at His time. However, the situation has gone out of control and we need to act fast.

These, amongst many, are some of the interventions already done by the family and we cannot fold our arms and watch people mock us in shame every day due to his abnormal activities in the community.

Now what he does is forcefully, take money from our aged mum, sell any family property at sight in exchange for money to buy his drugs. Beat my mum up at any slightest refusal to give him money. He has been jailed many times for committing several offences related to this habit, yet the problem persists. Maybe we have not applied the best approach?

I am calling on fellow Nairalanders to assist with solutions. I believe there are some of us here who may have experienced this problem in one way or the other, or have an advise to give to solve this lingering painful situation. Your personal or professional experience (s) may go a long way in salvaging this situation for us.

I believe a problem shared is a problem solved.

I believe he is going back to environments that fuel/support his drug addiction hence the constant replase.

Take him back to rehab, let him stay there for long while you guys rally round to set up a new life in another location.

It is well.

Sorry for the stress and strain on your emotions and finances.

nanauju:
Do you know if the wife is even aware of your brother's generosity? You might just go and thank her and everything you get from ur bro will stop coming.

Hahahahahahaahaha!

This life eh!

What does the wife mean by the bold:

adoreyou:
A friend of mine who works far away from his family says d wife has been threatening him to resign&come take care of his family.Mind you, he is unable to relocate his family due to finance.I decide to throw d question here because he is at a crossroad.

DonroxyII:
Fantabulous..... You are doing well ... Stopeeeeettttt

Oooin!

Rozz:
its funny thinking of how i was behaving weirdly.I'm so scared like I don't want to ever go out again till its gone.

It is not going anywhere anytime soon.

You up your hygiene, have your sanitizers handy and don't lean on surfaces.

Went to the tailor's place and stood for almost an hour decided and counter deciding styles.

Same here.

We need to overcome the fear though: it is not sustainable and would us susceptible to whatever new fad is in the market to 'manage' COVID-19.

Acidosis:
It takes at least 3-4 months to teach and prepare for a 2 hour end of semester exam. Don't think you can master the tricks and lessons for marriage in 2 weeks.

What you failed to learn from your parents or family in over 20 years cannot be learned in a day or two weeks seminar. Do not waste your time. You will forget all you were told a week before your wedding.

The best premarital coach is your family. Whatever your parents, guardians, or family teach you, good or bad, will always supercede whatever any paid coach businessman tells you.

Well, with the way the world is going, people would no longer have families to teach them how to be good spouses anymore.

How does a girl learn the qualities of a good husband and father when she never saw one with her mother?

Or how would a boy know his duties in the home when no-one showed him?

I have realized that 'wokeness' would ruin everything and get people to pay for what they ought to have had for free.

Make we carry go, we would soon have pre-parent coaching.

Why are we arguing that male football generates more revenue than female football?

How many women would watch women's football viz a viz the number watching male football?

It is like arguing male fashion show/modeling show would generate more revenue that female dominated shows.

A good father leaves inheritance for his children.

Yes, children are entitled to their parents wealth.

The parents should ensure they train responsible enough to continue their good legacy.

Stargurl20:
At present, I feel depress that I wish I could turn back the hands of time, like making my self a child again. But I still feel I may still not realise the blessings of this phase until I grow older, cos I believe the more one grows, the more life becomes complex and hard.

Do you regret some life choices you have made as you are growing?

Stargurl20:
Morning, everyone. Pls, what age is recommended for a girl to leave her parents home?

At what age or at what stage?

I will answer at what stage:
When you have a stable income that CAN fend for the lifestyle you wish to live.

Besides, if you went to higher institutions outside your state of residence, you already live away from your parents.

Or those of us that even started from boarding house in secondary school.

@Donald3d:

Apt as always.

The part on family, 100%

MrBrownJay1:
women and men are NOT equal, therefore women and men shouldnt be viewed equally AND thats why many dont get paid the same amount of money for doing the same job.

anyone who believes we are equal better go their eyesight (or better yet, their mental state) checked.

reminds me of the US female soccer team who wanted to be paid equally than men, went to court to demand equal pay and lost....lol!

On what basis was the female soccer team asking for same pay?

Do they generate same revenue?

Some cases are dead on arrival.

Or maybe you are not marriage able to the type of women you are interested in.

xpmode:
While hunger knows no gender and cooking should be a basic survival skill and not a gender role, how convenient is it for a man to marry a woman who doesn't know how to cook?

This question may hold little or no weight in the Western world, but it's a very relevant question in Africa, especially Nigeria.

Nigeria is a country that is known for very tasty traditional delicacies. Is it Amala and Ewedu/Gbegiri, Egusi soup, Ogbonno soup, Black soup, White soup, Moi-Moi, Masa and groundnut soup, Nigerian party jollof rice? You just name it.

With all of these mouth-watering dishes, you would expect every Nigerian woman to know how to cook. But sorry to burst your bubble, this isn't always the case. Continue reading this lovely piece here https://thestreetjournal.org/2020/05/sunday-focus-marrying-a-woman-who-doesnt-know-how-to-cook/

THE STREET JOURNAL
Visit www.thestreetjournal.org for more

There is a difference between inability to cook gourmet meals and inability to cook at all.

The latter is a basic skill and you are wondering what else in missing if a lady/ guy can't boil rice and basic stew or indomine and egg.

However, some husbands adapt to wives who can't cook and the abundance of food vendors makes it easier once they can afford it.

And a rare few cannot cook irrespective of efforts to train them. Heard of a lady who couldn't cook despite trainings and all so they settled for eating meals outside.

Her lack of cooking skills was compensated with excellent house keeping skills.

YouTube and Instagram today makes learning easy as A, B and C for people willing to.

@2buffagain

How are women 2nd class citizens in Nigeria?

RTSC:
You can't marry a woman like that unless you are a child of God.

God will not allow his daughter to marry a heathen.

You won't even see them in the first place.

Gbam! Gbammer!! Gbammest!!!

RTSC:
The Bible says be not unequally yoked with the world.
He that loves the world, the love of the father is not in him.

If Nollywood regards mount Zion films, then something must be very wrong with mount Zion films.

True.

Toks2008:
That his wife ehn, if one sees such these days it will be a miracle. Unlike the foolish clueless lazy leeches, we see today looking for a made guy upandan.

Perhaps the guys should start by becoming a faithful man like Mike first.