₦airaland Forum

Nukubib:
Please increase the volume it so people at the back can hear.

That's how some will be doing bestie bestie and be deceiving themselves.

Ariza:
Lol... 1. What's the outburst all about Bukatyne? We all know how guys here love edging ladies against one another. It's evident on this thread which started as a logical debate only for some mentally unstable beings with 'm' to perch on it and rain insults. That's my concern and that's what I advised her to guide against.I don't know you, I know her so pardon me if I chose her to caution.

2.Bukatyne, I see no reason for you to be paranoid here. Perhaps reactions like these are why most ladies see anything from you as opposition. Please deal with your issues and leave me out of your feud. Jeeeeezzzz!

Kekereekun123:
marriage and relationship no be do or die affair

Ariza:
Correct. Before all these intellectual peasants start their conspiracy that you hate her.


I dey ooooo, improving in my Spanish lessons. What about you? How you dey?

GreatResearcher:
I mean teach them how to be responsible. When they are responsible, the won't be a boring moment

Sixfeetbelle:
As far as he takes complete responsibility of the child (raising the child himself), he can marry his spec but if marrying his spec means him turning a lady into a single mother while he enjoys his life, I'll just say it like this: let thunder not find him in this period.

LawBreaker:
Married people in the house there is something I want to ask. I believe all of us have particular characteristics in a lady or man we wanted to marry but later didn't marry them because of one reason or the other and married another person that didn't meet our taste.

Let's take for instance, some guys or ladies wanted to marry a tall lady or man, but later settled for a short one.
Some guys or ladies wanted to marry a fair lady or man but later settled for a black one.
Some guys or ladies wanted to marry a lady or man from a particular state and later married from a different state.
Some guys didn't want to marry this lady, but because she got pregnant, they had to change their mind.

People that married this way did it have any effect on your marriage or something like that.

My own case: I impregnanted this girl. I don't want to marry her cuz she is not my taste.
Reasons : she is short, I want to marry a tall lady. She is black, I want to marry a fair lady. She is from abakiliki, I want to marry from anambra, I don't fancy distance marriage. I am having a double mind but the pressure from people is much to marry her. I am confused and I don't want to make mistake. I don't know if I will be faithful to her and treat her right. So I want to learn from people who were initially faced with such and later went against it and did it.

Please I need more input before I make my final decision. Please mod can you push to front page. This is very important to me and it will help me take a lifetime marriage decision.

GreatResearcher:
Yes. Teach their fingers to war

lefulefu:
male besties are used as rebound sex when the main guy is messing up.she cries to her bestie on how her husband or fiancee is treating and at that moment she becomes vulnerable then the bestie makes his move
hope u know now .

NuelNuelTT:
God bless you Sis. please tell them. This was how my wife and I groomed ourselves in our undergraduate days, no issue, no drama, no male besties for her, no female besties for me. We were the besties for each other. Now we are ten years in marriage living our dream life. All round peace.

Biglittlelois:
I see some people saying "its a two way thing" no one says it isn't, this is a thread/advice for women, just read and learn, or create a thead for men.


Btw, nice thread Op, deep and thoughtful.

LordKO:
@Bukatyne


Lucidly and reasonably written as always.

Maximum respect to a fair-minded woman.

fuzzywuzzy:
Lol
She loves it when males come on her thread to shower praises on her, abeg let her be

Who no like praise?

merahki:
Zed

merahki:
One very terrible thing I have done in the past
I was introduced to a man and we started having a thing. After some time he proposed to me on a dinner date at a then exclusive restaurant in my city and I said yes. He took me to meet his mother and family later that night. I was already bawling and bailing in my mind (his joy when I said yes was weird for then me)

So after he dropped me home, he called me and said I had made him so happy and etc. He hung up and I slept, or mostly tried to. That was the last time I picked his call/calls ,
I don’t know what happened to him.
I have not thought about this in ages.
If I knew his whereabouts now, I would apologise to him. I hope he is very happy wherever he is.

Ariza:
With patience, people can understand one another and judge each other better. Patience may not be the main purpose of the thread but it plays a great role in achieving the intended purpose.


You are welcome.

eni4real:
You are doing well!!

Paxie55:
Mumu. You said I'm idle, hence I showed you that you can use your time for something productive and educating instead seeking for validations from 12year old kids on here.
Live your perfect life and attract the world's most responsible and intelligent guys in the world. Atleast, that's what your high self esteem can get you in your dream land, unlike what we are seeing here. A woman with slave mentality that lives every seconds of her life to please stupid people.

LewsTherin:
Come and go and beat me na!

eni4real:
This is a Teenager's relationship talk right??

You just described me and my first ever babe when we were in our teens!!!

She got transferred to another school tho and our communication dwindle till she got married!!

Yeah, we still talk (as Friends)!!!

Ellipsoid:
That's what I meant by my response (I had written a lengthier post earlier but I deleted it), but if you're saying this now, it contradicts your OP.

sassysure:
Of course, there are men like that, but some women love them naturally while most are with them for the mulah performance and doo

Some babes are nothing to write home about yet u see brilliant and charming guys dying to be with them.

Like u said it all boil down to likes and dislikes

I know this dude, I wouldn't date his type but I love having him as a friend. He hardly talk. Don't even know what to say most times But is a brilliant guy academically.
U raise your voice, he will bolt.
We were wondering how he will get laid but he do have his ways
And now successfully married.
He said talking gives him headache
Can u imagine that?
He will rather u do the talking so he surrounds himself with people that talk too much, drag him to outing etc.
The wife is a parrot

Paxie55:
Unlike You, I don't sleep and wake with the thoughts of how to be a slave to stupid men who make you feel less of yourself. Or how to live a life filled with validations from social misfits.

Sixfeetbelle:
Glad we agree on one thing: compatibility.

If he being principled means he detest you going to parties and clubs, shun him, or else he will clip you. If he being principled means he'd rather you hangout with mutual friends than go to clubs, he's not boring. Wife him. My two cents.

Odunharry:
If only young girls you are preaching to will read and learn.
We all know this days it's all about fun fun for majority of the youths, and you and I know what "Fun" means to them.

For the making your Boo/Bae your bestie I totally subscribe it.
I don't fancy and will n never fancy the idea of making someone of the opposite sex your bestie.
Biko what are those things people do or discuss with their bestie that they can't with their Partner?

Truly, it's hard for a lady and a guy to be just friend. I will like ladies to do this Test by posting either on Facebook or WhatsApp that THEY ARE Hot AND NEEDS A D**K right now and watch how 90% of the guys will react.
The truth is if given the chance, an average guy will lay her female friends and make love with everyone one of them.

The thought alone of that bestie of the opposite sex isn't right to me. I used to see nothing wrong with it, but truth is its not right.

Paxie55:
Please, shut up.
You don't just see someone on the net and draw out a baseless conclusion. I'm even into boring guys more. I have my man well reserved. All I'm saying is that she's on this habit of always telling women how to live their lives for nitwits and dumb idiots as if her life is perfect.

Kekereekun123:
This op and toks should have married. They think they are wise and have manual for relationships and marriage. Crap

Ariza:
So basically the only thing that worries the Nigerian guys on Male bestie is the " Sex" that may likely happen not the emotional detachment, psychological replacement or being subjected to second place in the hearts of their Partners. It's just the "Sex"




Interesting.

Romanoff:
Birds of a feather obviously flock together. The fact that you're unable to contribute without insults shows you lack the ability to communicate in a civil manner.

Designerdollars:
Women are inferior to men ofcourse they should subjugate themselves.
Even the Bible said so.
Wives respect your husband

Ariza:
In as much as I acknowledge the importance Compromise in relationships i.e giving/letting go of some things to make the relationship more enjoyable for your partner, I would never subscribe to changing your being ( who you are) to please anyone (Man or Woman) . If you are a traditional Man, find a traditional Woman (vise versa) If you are a Modern Man go for a Modern Woman (vice versa). Picking a partner who has contrary views of life with the hope of changing him or her is not only foolishness but selfishness as well.
The truth is, there comes a time/stage in a relationship or marriage where the will to impress, endure and satisfy the other partner is strained, and the only thing that keeps the relationship is Compatibility. There comes a time when that spontaneous partner becomes predictable and all you can fall back on to keep the relationship going are the things you share and enjoy doing together until that phase is passed. Never make the mistake of getting involved with someone whose ethical leanings isn't aligned with yours.Thats a disaster waiting to happen.


On Male bestie, lol It's a No for me. Your partner should be your bestie. If you find someone else apart from your partner occupying the space of someone who you share your important moments with, talk to about everything, listen to you and give you shoulders to cry on, protect you , advise you and makes you laugh then you should question the essence of your relationship with that partner. Besties take important places in our lives, they are the ones we share our joy, sorrow, happy times, downs and ups with. Now who is more worthy of this position than our Partners whom we claim to love? If a guy has a female as his bestie, he needs no girlfriend. If a lady has a guy as her bestie she needs no boyfriend because they have their partners in their besties already.


That said, I believe the point op is trying to make is Patience. Don't be too haste to judge a person Since humans are dynamic in nature, it is important to try to understand a person's perspective however it isn't compulsory to always act accordingly to that perspective.

Paxie55:
This op is always telling women how to live their lives through subjugation as her only means. When i saw this thread and the moniker, I've already envisaged the type of balderdash i was about to read.