₦airaland Forum

chii8:
But Op, what if you now have four kids but they are either four girls or four boys, what will you do?


Or what if you have 3boys and a girl, because you are not just looking for 4 kids but 2boys and 2girls.

OP has the magic combo

Wizpa:
Services will be employed. I feel the house will be boring with just 2 kids

If you are going to employ nannies, have you told her?

Resurgent2016:
No problem madam. From my little knowledge finance, this Lady will likely run into some financial difficulties soon.
- she only paid six month rent in advance
- she is pregnant and doesnt and will likely have to shut her business down as the due date approaches
- family members who will threaten to throw out her kid will likely not be of much help
- she has two mouths to feed and one in the pipeline

I'll advice you reach out to her and let her know you are available to help whenever the need arises. Put your money where your mouth is....

The woman they claim is handling 70% of the financial responsibilities?

Madam OP,

I have given the advice I would give my sister:

Mend your differences with your husband and get his buy in So he can be a father to your son and you all live in love and harmony.

However, do as you deem fit.

Just remember that you will bear the consequences of your decisions ALONE.

None of us will take part in it.

Ire o!

Graxie:
Don't bother trying to get reasonable answer. The good news is that the woman can survive without the man and her kids are healthy. They can't believe such people exist. They are used to cry cry babies depending on irresponsible men. I am surprise they are not quoting bible. The motto is always blame the woman while she keeps enduring. They don't care about the woman emotions, what matters is that she should remain married. Single motherhood means disease and so kids raised by such are vagabonds. I have been wondering how some of them still claim to be Christians. They expected her to get rid of her son in the name of marriage. Forgetting that this man lied to her, promised her mother that he will accept those kids as his. All those things don't count as long as she abandons her son and become ever happy with the man. Now they are changing it to, she would have keep begging the man, negotiate, make amends. They have seen the pictures and pehalps their judgement about the boy being a thief is changing. What a people!!!

Stop quoting people who respond to me, quote me directly: you would get the answers you seek that way.

1. It is unwise to jump into conclusions. My stance on this thread was always same: placate the husband, address his fears so he can father in addition to accommodating the child. That is the win-win situation in this case.

2. I believe you are also a Christian: show me where the Bible allows for divorce because the husband is unwilling to accommodate the wife's son.

3. If the woman CAN really survive without her husband or any other man, she would not have re-married. She had two kids before which she ought to be content with. If she did not hope the marriage would last at the beginning, she would not invest her body into birthing two additional kids within three years. And it is not all about money.

4. My motto is 'women take responsibility for your actions and decisions.' This same OP does not even know the family of her ex-husband.

CeterisXVII:
How does that concern you, o ye unintelligent human? Has she said she cannot fend for her children or provide them with support? Hasn't she been picking up the bills of her kids, all these while before she got married and even while she was still married to the man?

Have you forgotten all that? Go back and read the story from beginning again, before you start to misyarn.....

O Intelligent one,

It is only money that is used to train a child?

I am only pointing out that you haven't shown empathy is this case.

Considering you think it is only money that is used to train a child, I am not surprised you advice the woman to dispose of her marriage so easily.

CeterisXVII:
Yes, o....it is called empathy. Emotionally intelligent people possess this quality. Not everyone is a sociopath, that cannot feel pain.

Congratulations, Emotionally Intelligent Human.

Except you are going to give her emotional support/assist in getting her daughter/financial support etc. OFFLINE and willing to do so on a continuous basis, you are just 'sympathizing' with her.

Empathy is an action word.

Resurgent2016:
I read the thread and all ops post. Without dragging this issue further, let me ask you these questions:

1. If the man has accepted one of the children from the former relationship, is there a possibility that he will accept this one also if the concerns he raised are addressed?

2. Are the man's concern valid?

3. Did the lady make any effort to address them?

4. Do you honestly think that there are only two possible scenearios in this case and no compromise can be reached as some people here are suggesting?

5. I promised to love my wife's family as my own, if I refuse to take one of her relations under my roof (even if it her blood brother), will it make sense for my wife to blatantly disregard my opposition and bring him/ her in

6. Many of us lived with relationship in our homes, go and ask the women how they managed their husbands to make it work because most men will naturally oppose it.

From my view, the lady is tired of the relationship and just wants to pull the plug but needs a valid reason. She has derided her husband at any opportunity she has gotten and does not even consider the possibility of dialogue or compromise.

I rest my case and wish her the best

@bold:

I am forced to agree with you at this point.

Husband took the daughter, said he did not want the son coming to pollute the children. Instead of madam to plead that her son needs fatherly attention hence the misbehavior and even draft her husband in, she listened to people who told her to damn her marriage and bring the boy.

She did, and her husband took his daughter in. For the first time, he drew a line between the kids. She still wasn't worried. Some people told her to beg the man since she has succeeded in bringing her son home; she said LA.

Husbandman has taken his daughter (since each person's kids is now more important than the union) she is now praying midnight prayers.

If she handled it well, in some months or weeks, the man would even be the one bounding with the son over man activities and teaching him stuff.

All the people edging her on would not
1. Tolerate their husbands to bring in his child without their agreement.
2. Tolerate their wives doing same.

Some witnessed their aunties/uncles begging the spouse to let them stay.

But you know, let's be woke and say things good for the internet.

At the end, everyone would log off and mind their business.

The OP would now be on her own.

CeterisXVII:
My dear, it is well. I feel your pain and I understand your sentiments, quite well.

May Almighty God support and strengthen you.

But please get a lawyer, to help you get custody of your daughter, after you give birth.

You are pregnant right now, and you do not need this additional emotional stress. Do not develop high blood pressure....God is in control. Keep praying for your daughter.

God will protect and prosper you and your children. They are beautiful kids.....

You feel her pain from behind your device?

Hahahahahahaha.

Pr0cter:
That should be Blenco at Ajah - Badore axis, Lagos.

Nigerians can rush for Africa.


The way they are doing this panic buying, e come be like say the world wan end.


Btw the president gave shopping malls and food industry exemption from closing during the period of the curfew.


Make una take am easy.

This should be the one at Sangotedo near Shoprite Novare mall.

loveymom:
Please to the OP's Husband,

Oga if you are reading this thread, I plead with you to go back home with your daughter and mend your broken family. A true leader does not run away from conflicts but find ways to fix it.

Your wife might have taken the wrong approach to bring her son home, but please overlook it and correct her so that your family can move forward.

For the sake of your little girl whose mother is alive and your unborn child whom I believe you will want to be involved in his or her life, go back home.

God has blessed you and will continue blessing you, don't use your own hand to tear it apart. Two wrongs can't make things right. Be the bigger person and direct your family to the right path.

May God bless you as you make wise decision on this matter.


To you Vyvyanvyvy,
Madam please stop updating the thread, dont give some people the privilege to insult and ridicule you and your husband.

Instead of praying that God should punish your husband, you can ask God to Soften his heart so that he can come home with your daughter.

Please don't stress your mind and body much because of your pregnancy. Pray for safe delivery, your kids need you alive. So stay strong.

You can reach out to your husband on phone and ask him to come back home. You both should drop your ego and pride for the sake of your kids.

I wish you safe delivery

Please remove your children's picture here, it makes no sense exposing them to the world.

Amen and Amen!

Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2. I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone , I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her , at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ? The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ? He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me . You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe. Like said my son will always be first no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life.

First, I would advise you take out your kids from your post.

Secondly, no matter how you are been cheered here, single motherhood with four kids from two different fathers IS NOT an ideal situation. Every child needs their father and mother to become rounded.

You had prior experience and know how uneasy it was to fend for two kids alone mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually etc. hence you getting married again.

I can cheer you 'power woman'!, 'go girl' etc. however, I will give you advise that would make me sleep at night because I know I will give account of the intention of my posts.

Your husband accepting your daughter and telling you the reason why he did not want your son in the house tells me with little persuasion, he would have bulged and right now, you will have a big happy family.

Instead, you brought him home and ignored your husband when some posters advised you to beg your husband and mend things after you brought him home telling us you did not care.

Your son is 12 years old and wise enough to know what is going on around him. He will forever carry the burden to ruining 'mommy's marriage with her husband'. All we said was 'placate your husband to warm up to accommodating and fathering your son.'

If your husband was abusing any of your kids or you or adulterous, this would have been an icing on the cake to end it.

But for an issue that can be resolved? Madam I beg you, please resolve this issue for your children's sake. Resolve this issue for the future. I am sure the people here will not throw their marriage away for what can be mended. You are pregnant now and should be pampered by your husband and getting back rubs not stressing yourself praying at 12am for what is not.

I don't know where you are living. FG is planning lockdown for two weeks in Lagos and Abuja. How do you stay at home with two kids and a protruding tummy?

Mend you home and reach an agreeable solution with your husband.

What conflict resolution skills are you teaching your children? How would they learn to negotiate and compromise?

My goal is for you, husband and children to live together in love and unity.

I wish you all the best.

crackkhaus:
Next time, when people with sense are giving you advise, you will pay attention.

I hate to gloat, but I'm probably the only one on this thread who has been asking you for an update all this while, and that entire time, these silly women who are all about a fantasy life have been going on & on with their infantile rants.

When some of us were telling you to ONLY make a move with the approval of your hubby, beg if possible until he changes his mind, you chose to go with the twerps here telling you the opposite all because you dey pay rent.

Enjoy your rent na and call them to come cry with you please..perhaps some can send you a PM so they can use their influence to help you find a way to get your daughter back.

I can't pity you, sorry.

I see one of them is still busy displaying idiocy, even after your latest update.

Who the gods want to destroy, they first make mad.

Life is not a fantasy or movie you can just write to suit your ideals, and it will teach you lots how to be sensible las las.

It is really so sad it all fell to pieces.

I told her she would be happy if this marriage ends.

If she was really fine being a single mother, she would not have married the 2nd husband.

Pearl05:
That man never loved you, save your strength after your delivery and when you are on your feet report him to human rights they will help you get your baby back.

Stay calm and be safe.

She loved the man abi?

Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

Madam,

Save your breathe and sleep well.

Nada will happen to him.

You said all over this thread that your children are more important than the marriage and he can go to hell. Same husband decided his daughter is more important that the marriage so why are you crying now?

The same way you are a single mother to the two kids with you, he has decided to be a single father to his daughter. Besides, he left the pregnancy for you abi?

Funny how you now termed what you always wanted as a 'bad thing.'

Shebi you have your son to yourself to mother as you like; you should be VERY happy

It is so ironic that you knew the efficacy of midnight prayers before your actions.

You better re-direct those prayers to God forgiving you and softening your husband's heart so you can be together again.

Winneygirl:
It is his daughter too.
When you were talking about "you and your children", did you forget that the child does not belong to you alone?
Why are you crying naked at midnight?
You said you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for your children.
He is willing to sacrifice the marriage for his child too.
You are not the victim here.
He is the victim.
You cannot do as you please just because you earn money.
.
.
You say he is on nairaland. He has been seeing your posts here on nairaland saying that your children are more important than your marriage.
Well, his child is more important than the marriage.
Stop following the wrong advise here on nairaland. Do what you should have done from the onset. Put sentiments aside and call for a meeting.
Communication and compromise.

100%

Thank you.

God help those who cannot afford this.

doublegoldcrown:
Of course, Christian husbands who are willing to imitate Christ Himself.

Gbam!

doublegoldcrown:
If Nigerian husbands can do half of these things you have outlined, their wives will submit 98%.
btw, did you include faithfulness?

@Faithfulness: Anyone who reads it well will understand it is expected.

Aim for Christian husbands instead.

Whew! More than 4hrs working on this + In Christ Alone on repeat.

Thank you Jesus.

In Christ Alone:
In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev’ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow’r of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjR_A2pGPrY

Disclaimer: This thread is based on Christian principles.

Happy Quarantine everyone

Hope those staying at home are not bored?

Now to the gist of the thread:

This thread is basically juxtaposing a Christian Husband with Jesus Christ. The idea dropped from the threads about disadvantages of no-sex courtship and 'I don't want to re-incarnate as a Nigerian woman'. Some other thoughts dropped while listening to 'In Christ Alone' by Travis Cottrel although there are several versions.

The Bible compares the marriage between Christ and the Church (all believers) with a husband and wife. Ephesians 5: 31 - 32. Full reading Eph 5:21-33
31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”[c]
32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

Hence my comparing a husband to Jesus Christ. Now, I know a husband is human so cannot be perfect and is working towards perfection. Also, since it is an illustration of Christ's relationship with the Church, it would not completely be same. For instance, wives do not pray in their husband's name nor can the husband save his wife.

Please note that Christians, when I talk imperfection, we are not talking adultery or abuse here. I will be picking some of Christ's characteristics that a Christian husband should emulate:

1. His love: The Bible is filled with stories and instances of God's love John 3:16. The new testament tells us of the love of Christ who left His glory in heaven, came in form of man to save mankind he created. Eph 3:17-19. John 15:9-10. He also corrects us to be the best version of ourselves in love.1 Cor 13:1-13 is also a fantastic read.

2. His goodness, mercy and compassion: Everywhere Jesus went, He was know for doing good. His presence signaled relief, lifting of burdens, forgiveness of sins, restoration, redemption etc. etc. Acts 10:38; Matthew 14:14; Matthew 9:36. His Mercy is seen in the story of the adulterous woman; John 8:1-11. He had mercy on the thief beside Him.

3. His thoughtfulness: His prayer in the whole John 17 for His disciples and Christians worldwide; Him sending us the Holy Spirit who functions as teacher, encourager, comforter and empowerer. Him feeding the multitude who came to listen on several occasions. Even at the cross, while dying and facing separation from His Heavenly father, He still remembered to commit His earthly mother into a disciples' hands: John 19:26-27

4. His forgiveness: In addition to His love, the Bible tells us about Jesus Christ forgiving our sins Colossians 2:14; John 1:12; 1st John 1:8

5. His leadership: He was a servant-leader/Shepherd who laid down His life for His sheep. We are called Christians because we follow his example back to back. As a leader, He did not lord it over us, rather doing everything for our benefit. John 13:12-17; Matthew 20:22-28; Philippians 2:3; 1st Pet 5:1-4 etc.

6. His sacrifice: Philippians 2: 5-11 summarizes His ultimate sacrifice. He accepted to be separated from God the Father for a while to die for us despite the cost Matthew 26:39. During His crucifixion, He carried the sins of the world as no human/animal sacrifice can fully pay for our sins hence separated (forsaken) by God who is Holy and cannot behold sin Luke 15:34; Isaiah 59:1-2; 1st Peter 2: 21-24; 1st John 2:2. Why did He risk all that? Because without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins. Hebrews 9:22.

7. His ownership & authority: Everywhere in the Bible we are reminded that we are the possession of Christ bought by His precious blood; the highest bride price anyone has paid for a bride. Yet the sound of ownership by Christ gives us peace, joy, love, hope, eternal assurance of glory etc. Through that ownership, we are joint heirs with Him, assured of Heaven, assured of seeing God Eph 1: 1-14. He gave us the Holy Spirit to identify us, he is not ashamed of us. Everywhere the authority of Christ is mentioned, it is for the benefit of we Christians. At no point did Christ ever use the fact that He is the head or 'paid bride-price' to 'bully' or 'disrespect' the Church. Infact, the hope and confidence of Christians is based on the fact that Christ is creator John 1:1-5 and Lord of everything for our benefit. Eph 1:22-23. Every title He has/gave himself was for our benefit: Bread of life, Prince of Peace, the Resurrection and life, the Living Water etc.

8. His intimacy: He tells us in John 15:1-5 that He is the vine and we are branches and He tells us to abide in him as He abides in us. He also shared everything He knew about God the Father John 15: 14-15. We do not know the date of His second coming ONLY because He did not know as man Mark 13:32, He however told us several signs Matthew 24 and warned us to keeping watching till then. As Christians, we never doubt our place in Jesus or His love/intentions for us because He tells us all the time. The whole of Romans 8. John chapters 14 through 17 is a very good read.

9. His empowerment: Jesus Christ wants us to do greater things than He he did and sent us the Holy Spirit to achieve that. John 14:12. For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2nd Timothy 1:7; He empowers to do everything (godly) Philippians 4:13

10. His emotions: He was in tune with His emotions and allowed them flow. He cried when Lazarus died and saw how people were sad even though He could and would raise Him up . John 11:33-44; Because Jerusalem rejected salvation Luke 13:34; When He prayed to God for deliverance from death before His time Hebrews 5:7. He expressed deep anger when the temple people started buying and selling Matthew 21:12-13. He has felt the same thing we have so can empathize with us. Hebrews 4:14-16

11. His provision: He gave us salvation through His blood, riches through His poverty 2nd Cor 8:9; Power and Comfort through the Holy Spirit Acts 1:4,7-8; will supply all that we need according to his riches in glory Philippians 4:19 etc.


12. His prayerfulness: He was a man of prayer who prayed without ceasing Luke 18:1, led his disciples in prayer, taught them how to pray, prayed for them and all believers after them John 17. He always prayed before undertaking a project and always grateful to God.

Earthking77:
o Ye men of little faith

Brother, please don't disgrace us.

Your fellow faithers were schooled earlier this morning:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeuEvxIpQK0

LilMissFavvy:
I know where you are driving at, but let me tell you, that for Jane's husband to suddenly change after marriage, is a red flag that he was never a good husband. A good husband supports. Did her husband discuss with her during courtship that he hates successful women and would like his wife to own just a first degree? Let me tell you, even if Jane, quits her job and stays at home totally dependent on her husband for her finances, another line of abuse, be it emotional or physical would definitely start, a bad husband is a bad husband. He cannot be pleased. So people like you who criticize equality for women, people like you who feel good that women should be oppressed, can go ahead and tell Jane to resign from her job, stay as a full time house wife, and answer yes sir to the man. Let her wait for the crumbs that falls from her husband's purse, take that advice and go give to Jane, or is that not what you wish to hear? If I were to find myself in Jane's situation, I'd know what to do.

To think I asked you a simple question and you went on a rant.

@Bold:

Not necessary and it tells me want I already know.

You just proffered feminism like it is the new toy in the shop without having a grasp of what the problem is.

LilMissFavvy:
Another irrelevant question, if only you took time to read the thread, you definitely would not ask this. A woman who knows her rights, bearing in mind that she has equal rights just like her husband to achieve the good things of life, would not abandon her MSC for no tangible reason, just because her husband says so. She would stand her ground and achieve what she desires, such attitude isn't far from what fairness and equality teaches. He stops her from belonging to organizations,, whereas he belongs to 4, he controls her phones, whereas he does not give her access to her phone. Where is the fairness? She is a woman who sees herself as inferior, otherwise she would have kicked against some of the man's excesses early enough. Why is her type surprised that the husband flaunts his girlfriends before her, with the excuse that he is the provider? Why is she not employed? Why did she abandon her MSC because of a cheating oppressive husband? Patriarchy is a SCAM.

You think feminism would solve her problem?

Talk a e-walk with me.

Jane is a feminist that knows her rights, realizes she has equal rights with her husband to achieve the good things of life etc. She meet Bode and they get married.

After marriage, Bode tells Jane not to pursue her masters because it will be difficult to combine with her job or something as flimsy as he doesn't have one so she doesn't need one.

She says ok because it is causing rukus at home and faces her job.

After three years, Bode tells her to resign so she takes care of the home & kids. She refuses because she has the right to work. The issue escalates and she implores others (parents, friends, pastors) to intervene which is fruitless.

He starts to make demands she can't cope with due to her job; I don't want a maid, I want fresh banga soup and starch 6pm everyday; I want my clothes handwashed everyday bla bla bla.

Obvioulsy, she can't cope and then he gives her an ultimatum; Resign and stay home or divorce.

Remember Jane know all her rights as a feminist.

If you were Jane's friend, what would you advise Jane to do?

Emetofranklinch:
The moment a Christ Embassy church at Jabi-Utako in Abuja was shut down today when the FCTA Enforcement team met them having church programme and wedding activity.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeuEvxIpQK0

Official FCTA @OfficialFCTA tweeted:

TODAY: Closure of Chist Embassy church at Jabi-Utako area in Abuja where the FCTA Enforcement team met ongoing church programmes and wedding activity.

Kindly abide by laid down guidelines to stay safe from #COVID19 pic.twitter.com/xhoNManq4D

— Official FCTA (@OfficialFCTA) March 28, 2020

The FCTA also retweeted a video by Isa Ozo Mustapha @IsaOzo which captured moment a wedding ceremony was shut down at Berger Park, Wuse Zone 6.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55aQPeAn3vg

The @OfficialFCTA Has Just Shut Down A Wedding At Berger Park, Wuse Zone 6.

I Really Don’t Know Why People Are This Stubborn. The FCT Minister @MuhdMusaBello Banned All Public Gatherings And This Ones Decided To Flout It. They Are Now Facing The Music. pic.twitter.com/BzyLp1jsJJ

— Ozo - 1 (@OzoMusty) March 28, 2020

I was just smiling listening to him.

Kai!

I hope they arrested the pastor sha?

yeyeosoronga:
Women want sex, and rightly so.
Nothing beats good sex. At least have that experience in your lifetime.
I am eternally grateful for all the experience I gained before marriage.
I have been married now for over a decade, so no small pikin should come and try to tell me some kin thing. Go and marry first and stay married with a family, before you come tell me nansense
I still appear like a new bride before my partner, and we both enjoy ourselves. Infact, during our heyday, we don do 12 rounds before. Yes, all day. Now, sex is the least of my worries.
Of course, you reminisce sometimes about the past, laugh about a lot of things, but I even wish I had partied harder then. I still have my friends from way back, and atimes we remind ourselves of how silly we were, and we laugh about stupid gists.
Now I feel too old to do certain things, even with my partner.
What better time could I have done these things na, if not when I was single?
I wouldn't touch my ex escapades with a barge pole now btw, just saying. Simply because I loved on. I also moved on too.
I have no single regrets. None whatsoever.
As a young person, remember to live life.
If you're down with premarital sex, stay protected. Insist you're both tested for diseases before getting down, insist on condoms, and use contraceptives.
Many nasties out there.

Why?

Are you 80?

Takotsubo:
Madam,you know nothing about me or a person like me.

I never knew I would fancy using restraints on my partner (DH)during sex - he's not into this.

I didn't ever know my libido would be raging.

No amount of discussions would have revealed this to me. So many examples sef.

Some people will never be sexually compatible, and unfortunately I'm one of them.

Others don't test and end up with amazing sexual vibes and that's fine.

End result of sex should be both partners clim axing ,there's no in-between,it's either you do or don't.

In my next life,I shall be testing to make sure I cli max every damn time,no time for fruitless theory.

What are his concerns with what you like?

AllforJesus7:
Sister Philomena,

Now you are talking. A wonderful spouse is all that matter's. Peace of mind in marriage.

When you carry sex matter for head like Cecilia, you miss the mark. You test and test until you test away the wonderful partners.

Omotola Jolade did not test. Look at her today. Even Regina did not test look at her today.

Your testing policy may actually bring more trouble than good.

Bottom line is that issues regarding marriage have gotten very complicated.

Neither abstinence nor indulging will actually guarantee you happiness in the marriage. But finding a good man will.


Peace.

Why do I sense selfishness in this post.

Do not test (I don't even know what this means) yes!

Also do not because of 'no testing' bring rubbish to the table. Be very open minded to satisfying your spouse within reasonable limits and be creative.

And sex is very very important in marriage. It is like saying food is not important.

One of the major reasons of marriage in the Bible is sex.

andelawhite:
Remote working has been on the rise for sometime now and is increasingly at the forefront of how companies are expected to enable flexibillity for their staff. More so, Covd19 has certainly forced the pace of change around remote working and workers are quickly adapting schedules, home offices and habits so that working from home is both manageable but also productive. Remote working or working from home can bring up some challenges, however, it also opens up the possibility of creating positive changes and increased collaboration amongst teams.

Here are some Apps to assist you while you work from home.

1: Serene

Serene is a free app for Mac that helps you achieve maximum productivity every day. There are two key principles behind the app, both of which are backed by a series of scientific studies. First, Serene encourages you to set a single daily goal and stay focused on achieving that throughout the day. This is based on studies that show multitasking drastically reduces productivity while others point ongoing distractions and/or multitasking can even damage your brain.

The second key role Serene plays is blocking access to distracting websites and apps during work sessions while also silencing your phone. Separate studies find it takes 23 minutes and 15 seconds to get back on track after being distracted. This gives you an idea of how much time those email notifications can cost you throughout the day.

2: Slack
Slack is a massaging platform designed for teams and it’s the ideal communication tools for remote workers. Instant messaging is organised into channels, which team members can join and leave, as needed, so nobody receives messages or notifications irrelevant to them. Team members can also chat outside of main topics in separate threads which prevents these messages from interfering with the most project-centric conversations.

3: Zoom
Zoom offers a full suite of video conferencing and communication tools for businesses. That said the standout product for us (and the majority of other remote teams I’m in contact with) is Zoom Meetings & Chat, which offers video and voice calls for serious teams.

4. 4: Chrome Remote Desktop
Chrome Remote Desktop allows you to access your computer securely from your phone, tablet or another computer. Essentially, this means you can access your machine from anywhere, at any time without worrying about any security risks. You can access your computer by typing in an access URL into a web browser or download the mobile app for iOS and Andriod.

There’s also a Chrome extension available that gives you faster access to your office/home computer from portable devices.

5. Toggl
Toggl is a time tracking app that shows you how much time you’re really spending on tasks. The software was designed for remote workers from the very beginning with the idea of helping freelancers make sure they were billing accurately for projects and getting paid for the amount of time spent on projects.

If you’re a remote freelancer, this alone makes Toggl a worthy investment and its reports will also help you quote more accurately on future projects.

6. Spark
Emails are one of the most notorious productivity killers and I’ve already mentioned the bane of email notifications in this article. Luckily, there are ways to tame email interruptions and turn your inbox into an asset, not a hindrance.

Spark is an intelligent email client that automatically collects and categorises your emails from every account. It also allows you to prioritise the emails that matter most and filter out the ones that don’t – or snooze them until later.

7. Google Drive
Google Drive is the no-frills cloud alternative to Microsoft Office but it’s far more useful for remote workers than its MS rival. The reason I say this is because the file sharing and collaboration features in Google Drive work so much better than they do in Microsoft Drive.

Another big issue for me is that I find the MS apps (Word, Excel, etc.) regularly crash on Mac. I don’t get any of these problems with Google Drive and the only real downside is you really need to be online to use Google Drive and Google Docs.

8. Calendar
While Google Calendar is a great free digital calendar, it doesn’t provide some of the advanced features remote workers typically need. A more feature-rich alternative is the aptly named Calendar, which connects all of your calendars into a single interface.

9. Zapier
Zapier is a simple automation tool that will save you endless amounts of time on repetitive tasks. Instead of constantly switching between different apps to complete basic functions (eg: manually uploading files to Google Drive), you can create Zaps to automate these tasks for you.

Essentially, Zapier sends data between apps like Gmail and Google Drive so email attachments are automatically uploaded for remote access, for example. Or, you can automatically add new Toggl time entries to a Google Sheets spreadsheet for accurate timesheets without the manual workload.

10. Daywise
We’ve already looked at how Serene can block distractions while your working but the biggest concern remote workers cite in Buffer’s study is switching off after work. I can relate to how difficult switching off can be and how important it is. For me, the best way to do this is to unplug from all work-related apps and Daywise allows me to do this by scheduling autoamtions for specific apps.

Essentially, this allows me to turn notifications off after 6pm and keep them off until I start work again the following morning. This, combined with Serene, means I’m able to block notifications form killing my productivity and disturbing my private life.

With these apps, you can be sure of effective tracking and report of work schedule, they are efficient and I stongly advice that you get them. Thank me later, cheers.

You can read full article here: https://www.ventureharbour.com/best-apps-working-remotely-from-home/

Thank you

Peacefullove:
Too many hypocrites carrying bible every Sunday especially the silly religious ones that enter marriage forming Holy. Its like they remover that part from their bible. The Bible God is not the problem, Humans are . They stupidly ignore his direction and start complaining that it's because they didn't test . rubbish and nonsense.

100%

The Bible / God is the problem if we are serious and all parties can obey.

This is one of the major reasons people should marry their kind spiritually so they are governed by same constitution.

Peacefullove:
Not blaming you .. Sorry if I come across that way.
My point is even if you test and he wasn't into it ... You might still marry him considering his other qualities that endear you to him with the mantra of " He will change " . and besides if your husband was a Good Christian he should know the Bible says a man should Please his wife Sexually . its a command.



" The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs , and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. " 1 Cor 7:3

Its true the Bible God is against premarital relation but then he wants anyone considering marriage to realize this is one of the Duties of marriage. But unfortunately in this part of the world , Hypocrisy and the fact that many so called Christians dont know shit in their Bible is killing them. If your libido is low and you ain't interested in sex. You have no business getting married.

@bold

A plate of pepper soup for you o jare.

You have hit the nail on its head.

The average Nigerian is just a church goer.

ProudFather:
Please respond. Also need help to push this topic to the front page! My marriage is in crisis and I need to make a decision please

If your story is ALL true,

Your wife has most likely cheated.

So what do you want to do?

And as Cococandy has said, do not let her flip the script on you.

Whether you are legit 'boring' or not, it is her duty to bring it to the fore.

And I think the 'lonely and boring' her friend told you is 'sexually unsatisfied'.

You need to ensure genuine repentance on her part.