₦airaland Forum

Yemialade:
Hello my fellow nsiraland members, j need your advice and I will be glad for the opinion each of you contribute
Am a fresh graduate and planning for my life so I started reading financial books to develop myself .my father saw me reading and was like are u preparing for exam that you will be reading, he told me that those financial book written is useless that am just wasting my time reading it.
This same father wants to control my financial life saying I must be a tailor by force. And I don't want that.he even threatened me to lesve his house if am angry.
please help me.

This one is strange to me.

Your father should be happy you are reading something useful. I believe his problem is that the reading drives you away from his goal: You becoming a tailor.

Why does he want you to be a tailor?

ETWs:
Make another Invictus Obi no enter the list ooo

Amen.

And I hope all these people are legit else they should know heavy spotlight would be on them now.

@oyoolima:

Fear catch me to quote that post! Kilode?

She is at a disadvantage because she is the one with the issues so if she walks away from him today, she is going to start the journey of trying to conceive afresh except she marries another man not interested in kids with her (divorcee, widower, impotent, polygamous setting).

Even if she married at 25, she is 34yrs now. Only a man no longer interested in children or spiritually directed to would marry a childless divorcee after 9yrs when her husband allegedly has one.

Maybe those people having heartache on my matter will breath easy now that my same advise is coming from someone else. Some people don't understand critical thinking and analysis without bringing emotions to the table.

This dude might even double his hustle for her to have her kids out of guilt or trying to seek her goodwill.

Hopefully, she will read your post, absorb the message there-in and make a right choice.

Like I say, eye on the goal!

proffemi:
The employers of labour will adjust to the new normal.

Is this a joke?

When there will be rich kids everywhere to fill the slot.

Just sit and look.

starstaz:
For as long we are together in this Boat called Nigeria , please shine your eyes very well.

These policies as good as it may appear on paper is targeted on the Emerging Middle class. May I ask who will be the beneficiary of this policy down the line: say ten or a decade from now, it will be our elite children schooling in Europe and America. They set laws for us and never for once obey such laws. I will give u korona or Covid examples.

When Abba kyari came back from Germany, Did he isolates himself for 14 Days ditto Atiku Abubakar son Ditto all our Senators and HoRep. Kyari even wrote an open letter to the speaker complaining bitterly how members of the National assembly dissed being checked by medical personal at the airport. I can cite similar examples on and on. My people shine ur eyes.

I keep coming back to this thread.

We are not seeing the bigger picture.

baldman:
Written words are powerful and priceless, I am reading this over two years since the last post and it is still so true. Can we have more of this please. What will you tell your brother to look out for, ladies?

Thanks again Nobody/Aluta continua for this really wise post and of course, Imma keep your invitation, the wedding is almost here.

Has the wedding happened?

Was this thread insightful?

Gilbertase:
All ye people, applauding this neurotic move, i would like to ask, would this apply to SanwoOlu's children? When sanwoolu's children come back from the uk with phd at 26; and become your commisioner in that future and your own kids are only just preparing for yet another neurotic move called NYSC, maybe then you would rethink this decision.

Ps: i got into sec school at age 8, Stadium high school to be precise, and i turned out just fine. Married with two kids, and my life did not/was not turned upside down.

They unfortunately do not see the bigger picture.

Until all politicians' kids are mandated to all study in Nigeria and kick off the age restrictions on private employment, unemployment rate has not gone up yet.

Donald3d:
Cognitive skills can be sharpened . Besides these days there is very little difference between the cognitive skills of a 10 year old and a 12 year old.
10 is very fair for Js1 .

There are 15 year old children that are smarter, more organized than some 20 year olds.

Especially with the way our country is messed up. Two years is a huge loss..
That means the child would graduate at 18 yrs .....Possible hustle for admission for 2 years.... It would take another 4-7 years to graduate depending on the course, 1 year service ....The child would be 30 by the time he is ready for job hunting .... Most companies these days want to employ 25 -27 year olds.

If a country that is more organized with smooth education and admission system proposes this, it would make more sense.
In Nigeria, its very hard to plan your future, except you have rich parents.

10 is a very fair age.
There should be more focus on parenting, I see too many bad parents these days.

@Bold:

Truth.

kokaneprodigy:
Are they doing something about age cap for entry level jobs. There are a lot of jobs out there now that are capped at 23, some 24 others 25.

If a child finishes at 18, earliest she can be ready for job is 24,( 4 years Uni +1 year NYSC+ plus cumulative waiting window bye the listed stages) for course of 5 years he would be well over 25 by then.

Note:I haven’t included cumulative years of ASUU strike.

This will greatly put those who will be attending Govt Unis at disadvantage during job hunts.

Maybe that is the plan.

Disqualification of people by natural selection.

blank:
I foresee a lot of children moving to boarding schools in other states.

Very very true.

Then we will have another problem of young unsupervised children in boarding houses outside the state!

eni4real:
"...In silos"

Is true now.

Did they think through the whole funnel?

If a child is to start secondary school at 12, what child does the child start primary school? How do two working parents make a child productive till 5yrs at home? Will they peg the age a child is to enter primary school? If no, what does the child do from end of primary school till 12?

Will they start talking to companies especially private on removing age requirements?

If no, how do they want to marry age requirements for entry level companies and children graduating late?

So many questions.

Let the government focus on COVID-19 now and come back to this later.

Arysexy:
Na Lagos go lose. Many parents will take their wards to neighbouring States for secondary education.

Full stop.

eni4real:
Ask them about the age when Gowon became the Nigeria President??

They just want to limit children by their wrong policy!!

You know the funny thing?

All their kids will not school here o!

Except they will change the 6-3-3-4 plus one year service year and develop technical centers.

Again, people with HND never see work finish, will it be people from technical college?

eni4real:
Please tell them...

As in!

The kind of un-employment that will hit in years to come ehn?!

The senseless of making policies in silos.

yers6:
I swear!!!!!!!! This is the best policy in education sector in recent years. Was still discussing this very crucial issue with woman days ago!!!!

Imagine a scenario whereby some new generation 'sophisticated' parents wants their wards in JSS 1 at the age of 7, 8, 9 or 10 and by the time the kid is 16 or 17, would already be done with university! And then by 19 would be done with nysc and then start working. And for those in majority, may not get a good job at that stage and so, life problems start hitting them with so much frustration which they were not fully prepared or grounded to face and then they resort to drugs, prostitution and other dangerous vices just to keep face or survive!

And there is where the challenge starts. Because they are still teenagers with the enormous mantle of grown adult's headaches, they become so directionless in life especially because most Nigerian men don't intend to settle down maritally or even take life very serious till they are 30 years and above. FACT!

Come to clubs on the island and you would weep for the new generations our so called enlightened and cosmopolitan parents are now raising. You would see young girls of 15, 16 from mostly Christian and Religious higher institutions of learning like Covenant, Babcock (the Babcock lady giving head last year in the viral video comes to mind here), Redeemers, Mountain Top, Caleb, Unilag, Leads, Alkhima, Afe Babalola, etc, flooding some of the most exquisite, expensive and classy night clubs on the island, in Owerri, Benin, PH, Abuja every and every weekend!

Or why do you think new exquisite clubs are opening up every other day in Lagos and those cities mentioned? High rate of slay queens everywhere? Or astronomical numbers of mamalawos on IG? Or the fact that weed, codeine, and other 'get high' drugs are recording the craziest sales ever? Its beyond just the fact there are big boys ready to spend but simply because the young and willing underage girls from the higher institutions of learning abounds massively like the sands in the ocean. You see young girls at age 17, 18, 19 among them already having flapping and seriously sagged breasts**.

And you begin to wonder if they are not young girls from so called prestigious and religious universities where security was very tight, where morals were preached and impacted on all fronts, where their parents spend fortunes on them to be in so called best schools?

If you were one brought up in a strict home and responsible background and happen to see things as they are in those cities mentioned, you would weep bitterly.

Don't get get this submission wrong as this is not to generalise that all underaged kids in universities are bad or irresponsible. Far from it. Still a lot are well raised and doing remarkably well even after graduation. Because age at times doesn't translated to maturity. But the danger lies in having kids who are not raised well to fully absorb the crude shocks of life in the majority!

How can you explain so many 16 years olds in 400 level in universities but are already deeply enmeshed in drug abuse? Or the girls that have committed several abortions that they have lost counts? Or those who have been to 100's of exquisite clubs in and out of the country at age 16/17? Thats why you see so many childish comments on social media posts and forum especially on Nairaland in recent years and you begin to wonder, who are these so called young adults with terribly childish mentality? How can you then explain the highest numbers of young boys and girls committing suicides in recent years when we all know Nigerian rarely commit suicide? By time the damage has been seriously done on those boys and girls, you now see their mother's en masse in churches and other religious gatherings seriously praying and fasting for God to touch the soul of those already destroyed children.

We play and pray too much in this country!

A child does 12 - 18yrs in sec school.

Struggles to get admission for 3yrs.

Enters 21ys and graduate at 26.

Serves at 27 (if called immediately).

When will the child start to work?

You will just start another cycle of old children still feeding from their mother's pots.

Una contiune!

Shebi KPMG and co will still want 22yr old graduates with 10 years working experience.

goldenboyofpsy:
Just like a boss ahead of his contemporaries.
Lagos is waking up to address the emotional and social deficiencies of this rush where children don't mature before moving to the next stage of academic ladder.

It's a giant stride and I appreciate their concerns. Maturity is key and it will help us to challenge the pains,stress and headaches parents and lecturers face in school dealing with such immature lads.

What boss?

And the poor child comes out of school at 26yrs with no job experience when all companies want 22yr old with 10years experience.

Carry go.

Very senseless policy.

Graxie:
HAhahaha, no be today things my dear. We are use to their modus operandi. Some things are inherent. Always forming intelligent yet full of crap, I don't know how they sleep at night knowing fully well the damage they cause online. I hope those seeking for advice will continue to differentiate between the wheat and the chaff.

That's my prayer.

That people genuinely seeking for advise will not develop itchy ears and shift between the wheat (hard advises that guarantees their best interest at heart at the end) and the chaff (that sounds sweet, feel good and extremely impractical).

May God answer our prayers.

cococandy:
Classic. Forgive a cheating husband and accept his love child.
See how the sky is not falling right now? And everything is relatively okay? Y’all keep the same energy when your wives bring their sides’ kids home.

I just checked posts shared with me and saw this:

The OP made the decision to forgive her husband herself. Infact, she came to ask how she would handle her husband's suggestion to care for his child with their joint resources:

Check the two bolded points in her post.

[quote author=Mavis.3 post=88129465]Dear Nairalanders,
I had to open this new account Because I have friends here and family members.

Please kindly advice me on this. As I am so bitter and unhappy right now.

I have been married for close to mine years without a child. I have had two miscarriages and couldn't take in again and we tried IVF once which failed.

My husband has been patient and supportive and have been wadding off any form of interference and other than that we had a beautiful marriage and close friends even think we are a perfect couple.
My pain started some months back when our pastor called me for an urgent meeting. On reaching there I met my husband and pastor told me my husband has a confession to make.
My husband told me he had an affair with a lady for a year which he ended because he was feeling guilty. But the lady had a child for him from the relationship which he just got to know recently when she called to tell him. And baby mama has threatened bringing the child to the house if he doesn't meet her demands.

He begged me for forgiveness and so did our pastor. I was heartbroken but I forgave him and took him back.
Early this morning, he told me he wants my permission to become involved in the child's life and be a father to the child.
We own a joint account and our finances is usually.planned as we talk about what we use money for. He wants us to include the upkeep of his child in our budget for each month .

I feel batrayed,angry and bitter.
I told him i will give him an answer when I am done thinking about it.
But I am not happy and I also feel cheated.

How do I handle this please?
Married folks in the house please I need your advice on this.

Pls mod, front page.[/quote]If the OP has forgiven her husband and is looking for ways to face her new reality, who are we to advise her not to forgive him?

The best everyone can do is to analyse the situation, see mistakes people in similar situation made and give her an all round advise that will best suit her circumstance.

Clothingonline9:
Kindly Dm

What is going on?

Please spill it here.

drcast:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/tribuneonlineng.com/i-consumed-carrots-vitamin-c-blackseed-oil-with-honey-to-fight-coronavirus-says-makinde/amp/

This governor is fine o.

Congratulations on your recovery.

desiregold:
Congrats to her.

This is just the best approach to life. If husband didn't come, look for a man to get you pregnant and have a baby, especially, when you are not getting any younger.

Nothing beats the joy of having your own baby.

But, make sure you can take care of the child ooo, dont bring a baby to this life to suffer.

Too many baby daddy and baby Mamas are not healthy for the society.

Broken families will be littered about.

Congratulations to her; her parents have profited, she has broken even.

My Yoruba people will understand the bold .

kestolove95:
yes, connect with me on WhatsApp, drop ur WhatsApp number

It is an advert?

Toor!

Kaje wa.

kestolove95:
The use of charms to hook men by Nigerian women as a means to win their love is not new. For the Northerners, they adopt the use of some very special and potent herbs which not only serves as a sex stimulant that enhances sexual pleasure, but is also used to hook men. One very common herb Hausa women in the northern part of the country use to hook men is the Kayan Mata, a special kind of herb strictly used by women who want their men to always do their bidding. The use of Kayan Mata is very rampant and is no big deal among Hausa women because they believe it is harmless; after all it does not involve any rituals, as 70% of materials used to prepare Kayan Mata are made from herbs and honey. As a matter of fact from time immemorial the use of Kayan Mata has been a tradition among Hausa women as a means to get their husbands love and attention , especially husband with many wives. The question is why is the act on the increase? Some women say sex without Kayan Mata is like cooking without salt, it makes men enjoy sex and such men can promise their women anything because of the pleasure they derive, and always ask for more. In recent time, it has become a norm for more Hausa women, babes, celebrities, brides and even among other tribes who have lived in the North, to depend on “ Kayan Mata” a better sex life and gainful relationship. Many Hausa brides are treated with Kayan Mata by their mothers before their wedding and some are packaged for them to take to their matrimonial homes for continuous use. There are different types of Kayan Mata and the best of it are prepared in some Northern states like Sokoto,Maiduguri, Kastina, Kebbi and neighboring countries like Niger republic. The most common of all is SIMI, it is of different types, some are prepared with herbs and honey and it is taken hours before sex. For another type of Kayan Mata, the herbs are mixed with fresh nunu(cow milk), it makes the vagina wet and the user enjoys uninhibited sex with her partner, the best of SIMI is prepared in Sokoto State and Niger Republic. Also another type called GINDIN AYU derived from the private part and sperm of a particular kind of fish that stick together in the river. It is used by both male and female, for the men the Ayu’s private part is dried, pounded and mixed with milk for drinking. It is mostly used by older men who want to impress their wives in bed. For the women, the dried Ayu is soaked in a kettle and she then use the water to wash her private part from time to time, it prevents unpleasant odor and makes the vaginer tighter. Yet another method of tightening the vagina is the TURAREN WUTA(INCENSE) the women stoop or bend on the burning incense to allow the smoke go into the private part. Also another type commonly used is DAN MANNAU(GLUE) some call it “ gida ko” ( a car or house gift). It is inserted in the vagina to guarantee pleasurable sex. However findings have it that more types of Kayan Mata are springing up daily, and most of them are well packaged. Several women who are constant users of Kayan Mata always have their men under their control until they let go. These are some of the way ladies make use of Kayan Mata to hook men.


www.trendyrammy.com/2013/03/herbs-big-babes-use-to-hook-men-kayan.html?m=1

If the Kayan Mata really works for hooking men, how come those men marry more wives or have more girls especially the Northern men?

Or are there levels to Kayan Mata?

lytech1:
Let me see how critical people can think in quarantine
Question

Some birds were flying and met a bird on their way. The bird greeted them; hello hundred! They said we are not hundred, we need half of us plus you to make us hundred.

Question: How many birds were flying?

Possible answers
A. 198
B. 49
C. 66
D. 51
E. 101
F. 199 .
Please help me with the answer.

Pls show working for your answer
Thanks

66.

I just did the math in my head and chose the answer.

No vex.

olarge:

That OP's location looks like Osun State

duchaB:
Sure.. It's all good if you assume it's cool..As long as another lady out there is free to do the same for your own man..

Just know there are things which seem right but are dangerous and unethical.

Free to do what?

Did I engage the guy outside this thread? Or insuinate anything outside his wife?

Are you sure you are not mixing things up?

Abeg o! My hands are clean and don't rope me into what I have no idea about.

Ire o!

sassysure:

I better go to bed.
I'm see in double here

Shugavee:
that’s non of ur business,,, don’t feel u hv to tell people what to do with their lives. Ur life isn’t perfect , everyone is trying to be happy, while u do what u think is right, allow others to do what they think is right .

Did I at any point force you to read this thread or prescribe a way to leave your life?

Am I stopping you from doing whatever you like right now?

My dear, whatever you like, carry go.

duchaB:
I really think you stepped out of line and I don't wanna believe you were tipsy..
Even when the clown of a man was engaging you on a matter
That should be private, you continied to encourage him..

Or are porn classes now part of what you teach?

Is that how you learnt? Na wah o..

Stepped out of line?

Because I bantered with a married man on how to make his wife happy during this hard times?

Even God would be happy and give me thumbs up from above.

I propagate whatever would make a couple happy and quality sex is a huge part of it.