₦airaland Forum

bigpriik:
Good afternoon NL been long I posted.i have something bothering my mind lately I am the type that doesn't fall in love easily(alphamale ) but recently I am shocked and proved wrong, I can stop thinking about this girl though am trying not to be needy but it is a strong battle starring at her pics alone my mind has travelled into the future seeing her with my kids.i have asked her out already . something I rarely do because of the dating advice I got here but
because I really love this girl I just want to be natural as ever she is considering my proposal judging from her body language.
All of a sudden the devil rose out of the blue sea just like a Nigerian movie a friend of mine said he had a sexual encounter with though they never had sex but they negotiated in the past she agreed to sleep with him only if he can pay 5k he told me she is into runs after hearing this I cut her off I didn't continue the wooing I hated her .guess what now the feelings àre back again and stronger than ever it is now confirmed that I love this girl
Am 27 and am looking for a serious relationship so I can settle down this decade and she is the only one i see. I wanna marry her she is just 22
please I know I joke a lot in this forum but this is serious what should I do.

Can you independently find out about her past?

If you can, do.

If you can live with it, fine.

If you can't, move on.

yvelchstores:
Very interesting read I must say. First of all, lady, you need to have more regard for yourself! I mean, how much baggage do u plan to carry for the so called relationship? Ask urself, is this why u were born? To carry load wey pass you!
His health status is already a BIG deal, plus CHEATING, and then ANGER ISSUES... GIRL! Someone needs to slap you back to reality.

You didn't mention what exactly you did that is creating all this EARTHQUAKE... his health status or cheating ways didn't create any storm o. You downed it like a bottle of malt. But u are here, blaming yourself, for what exactly? Did you kill someone?

Return the car, return the expensive gifts and return to your right senses. Girl you need to go to church and give God praise cos u almost killed yourself over what really? I am honestly shocked at u.

Honestly, I read some things and feel pity for their parents.

Offpoint:
First of all I want to know the sacrifices you've made for him.... God I hate this line of speech.

I don't see no love here, I see you not wanting to let him go because he's rich, handsome, tall and dark.
He cheats, you're OK with it, he does this: you're OK with it, he does that: you're OK with it. He keeps his Health status away from you: you're OK with it because he's made, he's tall, dark and handsome.

Dude is, was and will still be a jackass, but you don't wanna let him go because of status and physique.

Guys double your hustle: where money talks, bulshitz bow and Love take a backseat.

I still wanna know the sacrifices you've made, do you invest any money on him? do you help him with any contract? do you help him with his job?

His time with you is over and he wanna explore more, so don't try to tie him.

OR just because you....
let me stop before I say something that might got 100 mentions

Very well said.

Babe has no iota of self esteem.

@Jenny44life:

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Your husband is good man. His weakness is his inability to stand up to his mom which can be explosive if not properly managed.

My advice:

Forgive your MIL as regards the first issue. Now to this: irrespective of your plans, your husband will not protect you from his mom when the bubble burst. So it really lies on your shoulders to be diplomatic and avoid issues with her.

First, she doesn't know your due date so you can give her two weeks after (or any other timeline you can pull off). So she is not there when you are having the baby. You might have to shelf your plans of special baby bonding and welcome her if she arrives when you just return from the hospital.

For backup, you might want to have a trusted family member with you in the hospital since she is already booking flights. I am very very weary about a MIL insisting she is present at the birth of her grandchild. Maybe it is the Nigerianness in men thinking. Some families have rituals done for new borns with their placenta, first birth water and/or sponge and hair. Be very careful.

Also prepare your mind that she might stay longer than she decided to; she is retired.

During her stay, you need to learn to overlook whatever doesn't have an actual negative impact on you.

I understand it is not going to be easy: your home should be your space however, it is what it is at this point.

Goodluck.

Mizwisdom:
Your MIL has attachment problem as many needy women do. Check, she doesn't have a loving husband so she has transferred her love to her son. You married a "mama's boy", this means you are sharing your husband with your MIL.

If your MIL insists on coming, what can you do? nothing for now. Grit your teeth and manage her presence, you should have noticed that your husband was a "mama's boy" before marriage, it's too late now. Just carry your cross and manage the situation. You can also invite your mother to come at the same time so that she will help you cope with your MIL's presence. Good luck

@bold:

Did they do an analysis of girls with normal breasts chased by men viz a viz the flattened ones.

The idea of solving temporary issues with permanent solutions doesn't sit well with me.

As for complaining that the men don't help without wanting sex: what do they expect?

The community is obviously poverty ridden so the men hustle very hard for the little money they have.

How do the women expect the men(not relatives or husbands) to give them a scarce commodity without anything in return?

A rich man can afford to give an unrelated lady money for free to boost him ego (he is still getting something not just sex).

A man who worked hard for him money/poor can't. He needs to exchange his scarce commodity for something that gives him pleasure and makes parting his resources worthwhile.

The women can also hustle and make their own money.

mimilogs:
hmmm

☹️

mimilogs:
Beautiful. He truly cares after all

How many people would be able to afford it?

And when I enter boat from Badore to V/I (Sandfill), how do I get to Adeola Odeku for instance?

Will I fly?

Uber due to surge is now about N2k.

Shibaraba:
They can take their visa and stuff into a place light does not see in their body.
Everyone just dey ban Nigeria. Baba His how we go take know say you Don ban us from heaven too? I no want come heaven come see say them Don ban us ooo. Make I know now so all the bad things Wey I wan do make I kuku dey do am dey go.

I'll start from that my neighbor Pikin Wey dey like to come charge phone anytime I on Gen

Did you read the OP?

@cityqueengirl:

A lady living alone has myth and stereotype attached to it.

This is reinforced or dismissed depending on the circle you roll with.

If you are surrounded by traditionally minded men, they will reinforce the stereotype same with owning a ride as a single lady.

Now I think about it, a lot of my colleagues lived with parents /relatives until they got married.

I lived alone however, I was with my husband. Even then, his colleague tried to dissuade him inciting how single working class ladies are bla bla bla. Not surprisingly, he was sleeping around hence projecting on me.

As a lady living alone, you also need to conduct yourself properly so you don't pass negative signals to your neighbors and love interests.

That you live alone is not a license to invite every Tom, Dick and Harry to your house. Infact, you should not be inviting men to your house alone.

Be friendly however firm and principled in the neighborhood.

As regards your current boyfriend, he is insecure digging up your previous posts and chasing shadows. It is worthy to note he started in the middle of the relationship.

Interestingly, you are not content with what your guy can give you and interested in public appearances.

Your guy said he couldn't not afford to take you out because he had not been paid. You did not tell him to prepare to celebrate a belated birthday: you sent money to his account so he can take you out. If you wanted to celebrate so bad, you should have bought ingridents and made a fantastic meal at home and tell him he is owing you an outing if you are inclined.

Another reason why he might be digging might be that he thinks you are settling for him(a guy with not much because your are getting older) and played the field in your younger days.

If he is no longer interested in you, don't force it. Learn your lessons and move on.

ZIMDRILL:
i beg to differ

men are afraid of women who can handle few things on their own this one is a good example

she has her own flat and no man is renting it for her, she is running her life herself without the usual from most girls/women who want to be provided with everything, so this guy assumes that there is another guy paying for the girls needs and wants

as men we use resourses as way to control women, this guy he no resources he is giving the girl because the girl is able to do that herself, so the guy thinks he has no control over the girl because he has nothing use a tool to control the girl

So sad

smellingmenses:
I am ONLY bothered about your mental health.


lalasticlala forward to front-page

Hahahahahahaha!

Modified:

Just realized the brother died.

So sad.

Yoighaman:
After not being able to get a proper sleep during the week, I decided to induce myself so I could sleep over the weekend, one of the effects of what I took was eating like a glutton, that's not even the point, most intriguing part is the crave for drinking garri.

I slept and ate all day throughout yesterday and as I was about to jump into bed at night, this sudden urge to drink garri just came, I jumped out of bed, drank enough with cold water and groundnuts and went to bed. Woke up this morning, first urge, Garri again, I drank plenty of it and went back to bed.

Now today, it's bedtime and the crazy urge to drink Garri again came upon me again, I decided to relieve it by coming to catch some fun on Nairaland, only for me to open it and guess what? This thread on Garri!!!! I hope this is not village people at work o, Just so Garri is the strategy to exterminate me!!! I'm shouting out now o!

Hahahahahahaha

shinarlaura:
It's not abt being poor. At times even after eating a good meal, I still feel like drinking garri.

Did you attend a boarding school?

hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

Your wife's words:

You think it is only a woman needs, she also needs a companion and not a boss today, friend tomorrow:

Your words:

Your wife wants to take important decisions which you do not let her.

I think we can both agree that you are bossy and don allow your wife take/have input in decision making.

Question:

1. Can you give us examples of the decisions?

2. Is there any reason you do not let her have input in decision making?

BitcoinsMonitor:
This protest doesn't reflect the popularity and population of the RCCG network, the best time to protest is when they are having their holy ghost Congress, let people match from the redeemed camp straight to Lagos and see if it will not get the attention of the global community as the mother of all protests.

It is not a protest, it was a prayer walk instructed by CAN.

This story get as im be.

This is the most unlikely alliance ever.

An ex with the current husband.

AngryIgboMan:
Who Would Believe That Ikeja Under Bridge Can Ever Be Decent Like These Pictures?

I was at Ikeja today and have never seen Ikeja organized like this! On a hot afternoon! If you know these place, its hell from morning till night courtesy of keke and Okada drivers!

Thanks to Sanwo Olu... You are the real MPV!

God bless you sir.

Let the world see and know that Lagos is working again

Because you have a ride abi?

jodreamer:
I am not in a marital relationship presently (I hope to be someday) neither am I a divorcé (I don’t pray to be). I am writing, from careful observations made from several conversations I have had with the divorced and those seeking a divorce.
During my careful observations and conversations, I can tell you divorce is a bitter experience. Enduring a bad marriage is not a pleasant one.


I witness people, who couldn’t hold back tears in their eyes from pouring. I could feel the bitterness whenever they pour out their heart on how they have been enduring a troublesome marriage, for the children’s sake and others reasons.

One interesting thing that catches my attention is the happy beginning of the relationship.
The divorced and those enduring a troublesome marriage were once living happily. None of them ever had the thought of having a failed marriage.
What then happen? What led to the dissolution of the marriage?
For those who are still single, about getting married and those experience troubles in their homes. Here are the 13 tips I have learned that will save your marriages from ending in a divorce:

AVOID THIRD PARTY INTERFERING IN YOUR MARRIAGE:
The marital relationship involves leaving to cleave. It involves leaving of father, mother and all other known relative. When third parties are allowed to have a say, regarding any situation in the marriage, the marriage is bound to fail. Marriage is meant for the matured and both couples should be willing to resolve any situation.

KEEP THE COMMUNICATION LINE OPEN:
Healthy relationships are built on communication. When there is no communication, there is no relationship. Be willing to communicate. And when you communicate, talk about everything and anything with a listening heart.

BE READY AND WILLING TO FORGIVE AT ALL TIME:
We are human, imperfect and bound to offend others. But at the same time, we can forgive without keeping in the heart records of the other partner. When you are offended, talk to your partner at an appropriate time. Never go to bed with a grievance heart.

NEVER HIDE THINGS FROM ONE ANOTHER:
Your partners ought to know everything you are into. Hiding a single thing from your spouse will definitely break the trust in the marriage. Remember, marriage joins couples together as one flesh. And whosoever hides anything thing from his or her spouse hides thing from his or herself. Even your body, you ought not to hide.

BE WILLING TO MEET EACH OTHER SEXUAL NEED:
Sex play a major role in a marital relationship (Not a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship please). The day you are joined together as one, you have no power over your body anymore. Your bodies belong to each other. Therefore, be diligent in rendering due benevolence when duty calls for it that Satan tempts not any of you for your incontinency. Read your Bible.

ALWAYS SEE THE BEST IN YOUR SPOUSE:
Due to the different level of exposure, upbringings, backgrounds and knowledge, expect shortcoming from your partner. And for this, pay less attention to the shortcomings and always see the best in your spouse. This is why you are partners- to complement each other. Never try comparing your spouse to anybody.

CONTINUE THE COURTING:
NEVER EVER stop courting your spouse. Never discard any thought that comes to your my mind to please your spouse. Continue wooing your spouse in your appearance, in knowledge, in words, and in action.

MIND THE MANNER YOU MAKE USE OF THE TONGUE:
The sweetest and the bitterest part of the body is the tongue. As small as it is, it is capable of wrecking a happy marital relationship. But when used with caution, it could bring life into a relationship. Therefore be slow to speak!

ELIMINATE SELFISHNESS:
Whatever decision you’re making, always put into consideration the effect it will have on your spouse and the entire family. Don’t think about yourself alone.

SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER:
Couples who spend more time together are happier than those who don’t. Endeavor to create quality time just for you and your spouse alone. Never let the cares for material things deny you of the quality time you could enjoy with the spouse.

ALWAYS BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER:
There are no roads without dust and no rose without thorns. Marriage comes with a lot of challenges. So, therefore, be willing and committed to keeping to your marital vows. Be present for each other in both good and trying times.

RESPECT AND SUBMIT UNTO ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE:
The husband and wife in a marital relationship should learn to respect each other. The husband who demands respect should earn it by fulfilling his role which is to love the wife. And the wife who desires respect for her role in the home should submit to her husband.

ALWAYS STAY CLOSE TO GOD:
Husband and wife in a relationship will face plenty of life challenges that will try and knock them down making it hard to keep a good marriage. But when both couples decide to stay close to God, the marriage becomes a three strengthen cord that cannot be broken by challenges of life.

I am praying that God grant you a blissful marriage.
Don’t forget to leave behind your comment and share, you can save someone’s marriage.

Actually very nice points

Stevecovey:
The ‘attention’ crooner is currently in Los Angeles, USA recording her upcoming album. She posted this message on her Instagram page showing that she doesn’t check price tags whenever she goes shopping.

Source:
https://www.instagram.com/p/B7_KZ9chVji/

Tiwa is just trashier by the day.

And with all the money in the world, she lacks dress sense.

Anyways, she is pretty good at her craft.

Michellekabod2:
Everything. The term commitment frightens me. What will tomorrow hold?that's my fear,I don't know the future

Why are you afraid of the 'future?'

Has someone you trusted hurt you in the past?

muyico:
You must be above your wife with THREE things
1. AGE
2. KNOWLEDGE &
3.CASH
Your wife too must be above you with FIVE
things.
1. PATIENCE
2.NEATNESS
3.LOVE
4.PLANNING &
5.PRAYER
And you should be equal on three things
1.UNDERSTANDING
2.TOLERANCE &
3. RESPECT... Your home will be parfect.

A man has the higher duty of loving his wife.

Why do you guys always mix it up?

As for the rest, one partner will always be better than the other in each virtue.

Michellekabod2:
I am not going to create another moniker for this,i owe no one nothing!

I have spent most of my life single. I tried linking up with people but to no avail. Why? I will not do the blame game here. Is all my fault. I meet someone, get heed over heels for the person but I lose interest easily. When it comes to commitment, when the friendship is to get to the next level I ghost them. I don't know why. At best out of the blue I lose interest and become blank, not returning calls or replying messages, at worst I become disgusted at the fellow for no reason at all then move one to the next male friend. Nothing serious comes out of it...

So I decided to give up trying. My female friends and I go on an outing, some guys approach us and get our numbers. Months (sometimes years) later they are still waxing strong with the males, one of them even got married to one of them. But me? After a couple of weeks I find myself having to ghost the guy that I was head over heels for.

I gave up on love and chose to be single. I have been single for years now.

I met this guy march this year,we bonded like never before. I have never in my entire life felt like this before. It is so strange that each conversation we have all seems anew like we are starting all over.

It's almost ten months and the fire is still intense.
I have never had such a long friendship with a male. People assume we are dating. He gives me so much JOY... He is so awesome, different from all the others i have known. He changed me.

I just figured out i want to end the friendship, I don't know why. I am tired. I want to walk away. The passion is still there but i want to be away. I wanted to get a new SIM but my conscience will not. What has kept me from doing this is because i wonder how he will feel..

I want to walk away. Will i regret this?

What are you afraid of?

Michellekabod2:
1. Still on my case lady bukanyte?
2. I will let this pass because its my first encounter with you.

3. I saw him viewing the thread,and I knew he was gonna come for ladies as usual.I didn't mention his name properly,omitted some letters in the moniker in order for him not to see the post.
4. You had to call me names in your dialect,I don't know what your problem is,but avoid mentioning me,
5. am not a nice person...I am not.

1. Nope;
2. Thank you ma;
3. Now, I am truly apologetic as I did not note you misspelt his moniker and this is the 2nd thread I am seeing you do that;
4. I did not call you names. I said your action was termed 'alabosi' which is hypocrisy although I was looking for another word like 'trouble maker' and told my fellow Yorubas to help me inteprete. That's why two people quoted me;
5. Your wickedness is noted ma. It must be so great that you said it twice in one sentence.

I am lucky mercy found me this evening. Who knew what wicked Michellekabod2 would have done?

funmisticqueen2:
yes it is, until it falls off your head on a bike

Hahahahahahahaha

You must win some and loss some sis

0KNM:
I think it should mean ‘Hypocrite’

Thank you.

Ariza:
'alabosi' means hypocrite. And no Michelle isn't one.

So why does she keep mentioning people she doesn't want to show on a thread?

Imagine me saying 'I hope Ariza doesn't derail this thread.'

Seriously?

If she isn't deliberately fanning the embers and inviting the people she claims not to want on a thread, them I am afraid she is so slow.

funmisticqueen2:
It is well my sister. I am proudly team wig.

Ability to care for your hair daily a huge advantage.

chigoizie7:
The op topic says “ will I still be loved”?

Which means, she needs someone else validation.

The reason why people are asking if she is married is this.

If she is married, then knowing that her husband still loves her the way she is will go a long way in boosting her self esteem and she not going into depression. I mean, if the husband is not complaining, she shouldn’t be asking if she will still be loved.


Now, if she is someone who got pregnant, maybe a mistake or something and the baby daddy ain’t interested in her anymore. She is so worried, she doesn’t know if other men will still love her after the post pregnancy body. As a young girl in her early twenties, we all know that she would still love to date again or perhaps marry someone someday. But then, will the future man still love her? Will she still be attractive enough for men to want her? I guess those are her fears.


So, those people asking if she is married are not out of other. They are only asking that, to know what she really wants.

Very correct.

Mstick:
On nairaland when ever a woman brings an issue concerning her marriage/husband the men on this forum always want to,
1)hear from her husband
2)suggest she isn’t submissive or contributing financially to the family.
3)run her down physically and emotionally

When it’s a man they don’t
1)want to hear from his wife after all women are evil
2)they don’t even care if he loves his wife or even contributing in any way to his family.
3)they don’t care even if he’s at fault, he’s a man and it’s his “god given right”.


I will give you an example, a “man” created a topic about how his wife emasculates him, none of the “men” commenting on that topic cared about the woman’s side of the story. Over 30 pages of insults and name calling till she comments and gave her side of the story, the “men” still kept on insulting her and picking her statement.

Later on OP commented and said truly she’s his wife and he lied, as a normal human you would expect the “men” that insulted her to apologize but no they insisted that OP was being manipulated by his wife.

Please link to wife's response.

Thank you.

Riele:
Oh Yes Yes ! .

Most hypocrites here will chose to ignore this but I'm really annoyed now to let this slide off .


https://www.nairaland.com/5660941/sisters-husband-wants-sleep-me

A certain post graced front page where a young girl was seeking advice on her pervert brother-in-law who wants to gain advantage of her while his 6 month old son struggles for survival with his wife in the hospital .

I'm more concerned about the advice on that thread with some advising the lady not to destroy her sister's marriage .

Which marriage exactly ??
The one with a fool as a husband ??

Others were even advising her to stay quiet .

Why ?? , So he can continue his ways and think all is Normal ?

When will we Nigerians see evil and recognize it as evil ??

If the reverse was the case here , fire and brimstone would have rain with many insulting the wife .

When will we see evil and say it is evil no matter the gender involved ? .

**********

If I find myself in the position that lady is in , Heaven knows I won't hesitate to ruin the unfortunate man already tarnished reputation .

Whatever my sister decides to do is her problem ! . Marriage is not life and it will never be .

The average Nigerian is an hypocrite.

Yes, most of the male posters would not care about 'keeping' the marriage if it was the wife chasing her brother in law.

This hypocrisy is not only in gender related matters: it cuts across everything that concerns them.

Now you know the average Nigerian is an hypocrite, it is your choice to end up with one or define your own values and align with someone who shares same.

Goodluck.

Peer pressuring about to start.

A number of guys do not smoke, drink, club or womanize.