₦airaland Forum

Gbengaolowe32:
This is another serious issue and need the help of God to face in matrimonial home. My wife always listen to Pastor and follow pastor's directives than I the husband. The pastor oders stand while the husband have no say because the wife is someone that always listen to Pastor advice all in the name of God. I need your advice

When issues like come up, I like to approach three fold:

1. First, you are not a priest and/or not grounded in Christ in your home. If you were, you would be there to hear the instruction/teaching with her and you both discuss what you agree & disagree with. For you to claim that your Pastor is telling XYZ without you been aware means you are not in sync. Also see it like children signing 'my teacher said, my teacher taught me that' etc. It is also possible that she is close to your pastor because you are a source of pain to her.

2. Your wife is a baby Christian who needs the re-assurance of your pastor or has made herself the grandchild of God. If you are sensitive, you should catch it and lovingly address it. She might also not be a Christian and wants a magician

3. The pastor wants a flock that depends on him to hype his relevance.

Find out what is really wrong and solve it. Also note that my pastor said might not really be a bad thing. We all quote people we look up to and/or have a great deal of influence. Some are pastors, doctors, friends, authors, musicians etc.

Acidosis:
It doesn't break your heart to know that men who haven't been to church in 10 years ignore women like themselves, and go after the very thing they claim to hate??

It doesn't bother you when men who wouldn't fast for 5 hours try to marry women who spend at least 3 days in a week praying and fasting?

Many of the problems you've highlighted can be ignored if we make the right perfect choices.

Honestly, people just love to dig up issues for themselves.

Richy4:
This is just like an Everyday occurrence in many Africa homes.. It's really frustrating when a third party takes over people's home.. U can't make love because she is fasting, she can't cook because she is fasting.. and when one says please stop, it will look as if you were possessed by the evil one..

I will suggest that u sit her down and let her know that you have had/heard enough of that man in your house.. It breaks my heart when people were suffering because of their fellow man that claimed to be closer to God than they were...

IF this nonsense continues, maybe u can take a cheeky measure to torment her too...invent a female slutty name that could sound like the bearer would be good looking...like Golda, LINTY, Lorry, BUKKY, Molly,TINA...

During her marathon of pastor said this or that, out of the blue just Say oh!! Lorry is very beautiful wow!!... She will be like who is that, say she was new in your office.. Everyday carry on with Lorry's story too.. invent certain harmless jokes that Lorry could share.. the way she was tormenting you with her pastor give her double dose.. If she ask if you were cheating with Lorry, Say no and ask her if she was cheating with the Pastor.. Two can play that game.. Please don't take my word for it.. Just that this thing could be really annoying..

Just remember you can't divorce your wife on the grounds of being religious.. It's unheard of

@Bold:

Why did you mention my name?

Kingpee2:
God will bless her with the opposite of the man,that way she will learn to be appreciative.

Amen.

Although not showing grievances or displeasure can be unsettling. And most humans are not pure-hearted to see this as a challenge to do right by the husband.

pocohantas:
Stop marrying slaykwin that doesn't have sense and still won't take counsel from the person that has sense.

Thank God for your daughter's life.

I don't like when a couple can't Agree on child training especially when one is obviously right.

Na real slaykwin.

This one na higher level slay queen.

NGRsenate:
I argue kids should be taught science when they’re much younger and be introduced to religion when their brains are mature enough to think with some level of rationalization.

Teaching them science at an early age will make them reason properly, improve their curiosity, help their imagination reach complex levels which will in turn fuel their creativity.

But look at children who have been fed religion; they’re usually dull, they always look sad, they are not curious etc

My own observation though

Not religion's fault.

GreatResearcher:
I was at a family friend's house today. I met his kid doing her home work. She brought it to me to assist at the process, I went through her notes.

A. In her Basic Science she was taught that evaporation and condensation of water formed rain that falls from the cloud.


B. In her Religious Studies she was taught that God created rain and and make the rain to fall from heaven.

Is any of then wrong?

A answers how
B answers who

genq:
Yes! Most of us love sex. Ain't no shame in that

And No! Not all MGTOW brothers have sworn off sex.

MGTOW for me means that I have sworn off commitment, marriage and catering for womens needs. I accept feminism in it's fullest and refuse to play the role of a traditional man to a non-traditional women.

So yes, I 'pump & dump', 'hit & quit' - whatever you wanna call it.

You are not going your way na.

You are just staying off the responsibility of marriage and fatherhood.

I am however curious: On what moral ground do you stand to judge a 'non-traditional' woman when you are non-traditional yourself?

baby124:
Indeed!!! The ones that like sex too will be shouting MGTOW, until they see a girl twerking and they GTOW! Mtschew! Keep deceiving yourselves with other deceptive entities in your group who cannot go one week without sex. They chop, clean mouth and then come and shout your national anthem! We know una . It’s your type that will be crying to just put the tip

Linda Ikeji and the celibacy ish comes to mind.

While I do not mind labels aka feminist etc., I Never EVER do associations aka become a card carrying feminist etc.

I have since found out that the heart of humans is freaking deep and the head of MGTOW might be married with fifty kids.

Everyone should just do what genuinely works for them.

There is a red pill author (Rollo Tomassi) who once said all his teachings are theories i.e. doesn't necessarily practice all.

To be honest, how can a real red piller have a wife and kid like Rollo Tomassi?

prof2007:
Sample from an American message board.

Woman preparing for her wedding seeks advice on how to get her fiance to do her bidding. Nicely illustrates part of the reason some men are "going their own way"....

I wonder why they are getting married


No simple synergy.

She quit her job and expects the guy to pick up the slack because of the wedding plans.

1. Did she discuss with him?
2. Did he express his disagreement and make it clear he would not pick the slack?
3. If they do not have so much, is it not wise to reduce the spend of the wedding?
4. The wife says her dream wedding... Has she found out the guy's dream wedding?
5. What would their lives be like after marriage financially?

Too many questions.

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/the-future-of-men-and-marriage-is-bleak

@prof2007

prof2007:
MGTOW Decision Matrix:

1. Get married
2. Don't get married
VS
A. Not all women are evil
B. All women are evil

See the matrix attached...

Hope these MGTOW realize it is almost same for women?

Just take out alimony for women earning less and replace with abuse (physical, verbal, financial and emotional).

prof2007:
Another MGTOW meme...

Well wives can say they are not their cooks, care takers, maids and baby machines.

This is in addition to been expected to foot some bills.

nonjebose:
Remember wetin! It is a very convenient excuse for her not to do anything.

Toor!

nonjebose:
I tell you, lol. Very few women try to reciprocate. The amusing part is that she tells the guy that he doesn't mark his birthday, so she seldomly remembers the date

Odiegwu!

So she can not help him remember?

generationz:


I'm not angry just analyzing an observation.

Like I said most Nigerians have zero idea on how to give people a good and memorable experience.

Even if she didn't throw a party , she could have done something that would be memorable for him.

It shows despite the fact they live together she doesn't listen.


She only did what everyone on instagram does.

Sometimes a person you love can keep reminiscing about a particular food, place, friend or any other thing they enjoyed years back . Going through the stress of making that thing available can mean more to the person than even planning a party.

True.

She really does not listen or know her man enough.

pocohantas:
Y'know these Lekki wives na, they just go with what is trending. Now minding is that is what their partners want.

Even men get their own for body, everytime car or phone. Some of us want the little things. I once had a guy tell me he will change my car to a Benz, in his mind he made sense- but I was wondering who told him I want a Benz or he assumes every woman likes Benz and iPhones?

Them go settle for night sha...

After all, if she can't buy a car, she can present herself as a living car......

For Basket mouth's pleasure.

Car na car.

The average Nigerian doesn't understand experience. We are emotionally underdeveloped.

Interesting.

I was scanning to find they are staying off sex and I can see that.

So I can take them serious.

That said, 70k men pulling out of society might seem small, constant addition over the years would spell doom for the women in that society interested in heterosexual marriages.

Such women would also have to lower their standards else a lot of them would be single or settle for men already in relationships.

This would also herald the official state of babymamaism. Now, we still have baby mamas of A marrying B. Then it would be baby mamas staying as baby mamas.

It is really going to be a bleak situation and I believe, another movement especially for the women (anti-feminism? Red pill girls? Religious movement?) would act as a balance so that more men would be pulled back into the society.

A society where men decide to pull out would fail and breed unnatural mating laws. Also think of lower birth rates, poor role models for the male child, gender selection favoring the male child at conception, rise of homosexuality, transgender etc.

It is a grim picture.

Hopefully, both genders would go back to the drawing board before it fails at the center.

And this is peculiar to the West for now. Nigerians have a different problem.

pocohantas:
That service actually cost some money, but not up to the cost of throwing a party.

The wife's problem was not knowimg what ticks for her husband. I also won't appreciate this, but I won't say it out because the reactions would definitely not be same.

Why would BM even want a car? Is he a collector? Probably fooling around.

I totally agree with you.

I was just teasing the moniker I quoted.

The wife has too much resources at her disposal to come up with crappy choirsters and put it online.

I am sure Basketmouth does not really need a car: more like communicating his disappointment at her gift.

A weekend getaway, a vintage watch, etc.

Heck, she lives with him and knows what ticks him.

ServantsOfTruth:
There's nothing you will do to satisfy a woman

Basket mouth has been showering gifts of all kinds on his wife and he wanted to do something different this time

The picture below shows Elsie Okpocha standing in between two cars.. which belongs to her the two of them

Tell me why she wants another car? This is greed no matter how you look at it

Families break up because of this...where the woman wants more than enough

Any woman supporting her is just foolish and stupid

Ewooo!

That Oshogbo weed you are taking o strong Gan!

nonjebose:
Most Nigerian ladies can be stingy. My guy had always celebrated his wife's birthday for her, taking her to various cool spots every year. But the wife never marked his with anything, not even choir ministration. So this year, the guy decided to sing only the happy birthday song to her, of course she was disappointed

Hahahahahahaha.

She will get sense the next year.

I like people like that; they pass their message in clear terms.

kimberlugee:
Yes they are doing them a huge favor especially since men see sex as food. How many women pay for sex compared to men?? Only men who don't see sex as food or pay for sex can say this,as for the rest konji must make them bow. Truth is bitter bro

How many women pay for sex?

Maybe not cash, definitely in kind.

If women don't like sex, vibrators would not sell out and women would not be scheming on how to get their uninterested partners to bed.

ogawisdom:
Women are to Stingy to spend on a guys bday

Choir rubbish

Boring

Why not get him a big as.s runs babe for a change if u are broke n want something cheap

Hahahahahahahaha.

Na wa for you.

DrHoganObi:
Your own better. Highest I don receive na three white undersized singlets only. I no know whether them swear for me ni.

Hahahabahahaha

englishmart:
Buy for yourself na. Cars are very cheap these days.

I know he was just trying to be funny, but this shows how unromantic and materialistic we are in this part of the world

Very true.

Maybe if she flew in Soweto Choir to sing one of his faves or the artist of his fave Nigerian song to perform live, he would have appreciated it better.

If she however organized her church choir to come and sing happy birthday, she could seriously do better.

I would prefer R. Kelly performing 'Sign of a Victory' or Solomon Lange performing 'Great Grace' live than a car.

I love and cherish experiences/memories.

Saintmary:
Well, from the way I see it, a lot of men prefer to work hard, make money, then get married to women who are not as rich as they are so they can maintain the upper hand in their marriage,

Beyonce and her husband are not far from each other in terms of net worth
So, if a man wants a woman who can give him as much as he can give her on his birthday, he should marry a hardworking woman who has her own net worth or build his woman to be a woman of value.
A man that prefers to buy clothes and perfumes for his wife rather than pay her school fees or help her on a viable career path should expect boxers for his birthday.

Hmmmmmmm

Another angle.

generationz:
Seriously some women no dey try at all.



If you have a husband that has given you everything from a good heart then doing something big at least once for him isn't bad.

I mean Beyonce gave Jay a fvccking Private Jet.


A lot of Nigerian women are selfish they can't even give a good experience beyond cooking and cleaning.

The men don't help matters because most give with selfish motive too. We have very few altruistic Nigerians, so you all deserve each other.

So, is Elsie saying she can't afford to save for a big party for Bright?

The worst part is they will put it online for everyone to praise them.

Mtcheew.

I like how bright spoke his mind joor.

E ti binu ma

What if the cost of logistics of getting the choirsters there is more than a party?

I am just asking o!

CAPSLOCKED:
SOME OF US DON'T EVEN GET THE USUAL SINGLETS AND HANDKERCHIEVES.

BE GRATEFUL.

Hahahahahahahaha

She honestly looks very good.

If she dressed decently, she would have been sweet.

Two very grown up kids, she is on point.

Only problem is that ideally, her job can't be handed down to her kids.

bugativeron:
I am a father of two children. My children are addicted to two things, my son is addicted to watching English league even though he can't play soccer, but the one that disturb me most is my daughter addiction to cardi b. If you want to see her rage, just say something negative about Cardi b and she will talk none stop about her and castigate every other artiste such as Nicky minaj that she feels are against cardi b.
They both don't have access to social media, but my daughter access you tube once in a while when ever my phone WiFi is on.
This morning during family worship we spoke about Malawi and she said she had never heard of the country name before, so I and her mother started harassing her that she will never listen to news but entertainment. In annoyance I said if it is cardi b now she will know, and her mother ask her when kulture cardi b daughter was born, guess what my daughter knows the date, the day and time.
There I gave up. What do I do? The passion with which she follows cardi b sometimes is draining, she believes she is from the lower ladder of the social economy and she made it against all odds.

Dear father,

What do you want for your kids?

Start shaping them into it. Though late, all hope is not lost.

Your complaints alone cannot achieve anuth3.

baby124:
I twerked more when I was a virgin than when I started having sex. I was more conscious of haters and rumor mongers when I started enjoying sex . When you have no fear of accusation you are actually more carefree!

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