₦airaland Forum

iPrevail:
Now I see why you "repented" and became an evangelist. People always seek succour in religion after living a wasteful life. I'm not judging tho.. Just stating a fact.

She was married, divorced her husband of 13yrs+ when he cheated with her maid and lost the child of the marriage much later to sickle cell.

Hence her stance of 'she can't feel sad because she believes everything is God's will.'

Who shared it?

I wouldn't recognize her if the OP didn't say.

She is bleaching, Maka why?

Her previous brown skin was honey.

Those children's suffering just started except there is divine intervention.

asdfjklhaha:
Husbands please will you be happy with your wife,if you discover she is saving from the house keep money? Please give reasons.

I went to spend sometime with my elder sister along with my mum cos she just delivered. And recently her husband was quarreling with her it got so serious that mumsy had to intervene. after everything died down, I asked mumsy what happened she said the man was very angry because his wife which is my sister has been saving money from the upkeep money he's been given to her.

that if she had any left overs she should have told him so he'll add it to the next money he'll give and spend less. he said she's selfish and inconsiderate.

for me I don't see any big deal in it cos as a woman a nursing mother she should have some cash in hand.

please what are your views


lalasticlala.

dominique

mynd44

Seun

What is the definition of upkeep money?

1. Money to run the home only i.e. food, bills, clothing etc
2. No 1 above + her private pocket money

If 1, the husband is right to be angry because except he is very rich, the money would be barely enough so excess should be declared so proper budgeting and allocating of funds done. He would however be funny if there is no provision for personal allowance for his wife and he expects her to return the excess.

If 2 and your sister doesn't shortchange the home to increase her savings, the husband should tell us what is really biting him.

desvi:
ok then let me ask you something else
your daughter asks you
mama, what is good husband material?
you: ...

Ideally, your dad.

And it is not a question and answer situation. It is training her with the right values over time so she can recognize original.

For instance, telling her that a husband should respect his wife is not as effective or impactful as raising her to have great self-esteem and self-respect. In the second scenario, she would naturally pick a respectful man.

If she is also trained on the difference between healthy self-esteem and arrogance, she would also know how to relate with the respectful man respectably.

desvi:
.. what qualities must her future husband have for you to bless their union?

Only she can tell all the qualities of her husband to be due to numerous interactions.

So the onus is on the parents to train their daughter to recognize and value the right attributes in a man.

@charles1888,

Keep apologizing in words and deeds

Also pray to whatever you believe in to soften her heart and heal her.

You can also cuddle her and pray for her healing too.

To be told that the very foundation of your marriage is a lie...... Is huge!

[quote author=Immabong 0post=82141429]SOUTH AFRICNS ARE NOT
XENOPHOBIC. I am a Nigeria, I spent almost 5 years in South African republic and experienced true love from South Africans. The Problem is that most of us go to South Africa to defraud people, sell drugs, established fake churches to rob South Africans! So, when these people react, we call it XENOPHOBIA and forget about the atrocities committing by the foreign nationals in South Africa. Some foreigners have fake banks, fake law chambers, fake police services etc.but no body is talking about these things, only XENOPHOBIA

If you say too much I will strip your organized crime in South Africa bare Unclad! It is an injustice to called South Africans XENOPHOBIC When you have no idea of what's actually going on there!

My friend, Ghanaian are not innocent in terms of fraud in SOUTH AFRICA, Ghanaian are expert in forgery; they can forge any official document, and that's what most of them do in SOUTH AFRICA!

Are you aware that some foreign nationals patronize robbers?I mean they provides short guns for young homeless SA boys who will go rob for them.Eg,if they see u with a good cellphone they send those boys to go collect it from you! What do u have to say about that[/quote]Let us assume you are correct.

For the criminals to flourish means there is a huge demand for their services in SA.

After all said and done, Nigeria wants to pick her people up.

My thoughts would be that SA would willingly let us go since we are evil right?

What are they holding people who don't have papers for?

Well, I blame our Govt.

franchasng:
People like you want to sound intelligent but you are very dull!


The punishment for entering any country illegally is deportation!

Now they want to deport themselves, so WTF


If you enter a country without papers and their immigration catch you, they deport you back to your home country.


Stop talking like a dunce

Chop hug o jare!

I can't even comprehend this.

Oyindidi:
He is collecting what he can't give

Odiegwu!

uuzba:
Abeg leave SA alone
You in their land, obey their laws or face punishment

Do you know how they themselves were beaten and harrased for years on end because of papers/document?
In their own land, they couldn't even move about freely because of whitemen and papers. You must have document to go from here to here otherwise, prison, punishment. They suffered all that bulsh1t. Now you Nigeria just enter there and be behaving anyhow, no paper/document and you expect them to leave free? You go chop their cane. Next time learn about a country before traveling there.

Does this make sense to you?

Nigerian Govt is picking their citizens, you are talking of papers.

I don't blame them.

Like someone said, I wish our president was alive in a time like this.

Fountainofyouth:
Because he can wash his clothes and boxers himself.

Interesting.

Of course he can.

Oyindidi:
Selfish person, I pray the next girl bite the head.

Hahahaha

What is wrong with you people na?

Acidosis:
You know this because you fixed a CCTV on his neck at the start of the week?

Anyone who drinks and has a potential or habit of getting drunk is a drunkard.

Hahahaha

Fountainofyouth:
Well I can't wash his clothes, not to talk of boxers.

Why?

Acidosis:
I knew this kind of discussion can only come up at night in a bar. And those who would kick against the idea are men that stay up all night with alcohol. That's not a time to sit with drunkards. Responsible men at that time stay home to attend to their children. It's a time to bond with your wards after school, look through assignments, dine with your family and observe your family devotion.

Hahahaha!

You wicked o!

What is our business with what a couple do kwa if they are both fine with it, no one is abused or feels humiliated?

Jiokejohn:
Dear Maureen,
Before you tell us the reason why the marriage crashed, first tell us the reason why you rejected all other suitors and vowed that it must be Blossom Chukwujekwu and no other person. Remember that you vowed before the altar of GOD that it must be 'for better for worse'. Does it mean that you lied to GOD, you deceived GOD or you never believe in GOD. Marriage is for matured mind, I believe at 32, you are no longer a kid to behave childishly. If you expose your husband or (ex-husband) as your brag, which man will ever trust you tomorrow. Even if you have permanently decided to divorce him, treat him with respect; at least for the sake of the love you once have for him. The fact some people doesn't know is that the way you treat your ex-husband goes a long way in portraying whom you are and how your prospective next husband will perceive you. Don't try to destroy someone and end up shooting yourself on the foot.
LET US NOT ALLOW ANGER AND FRUSTRATION TO OVERRIDE OUR BETTER SENSE OF REASONING.

Awwwwww, so sweet.

organism3:
sebi u ladies are clamouring for gender equality

What has gender equality got to do with it?

As much as it is not our business, I would like to read Maureen's gist.

LordKO:
Lol, make you no vex, as I come de look am now it come be like say I don spoil your thread, but no be my plan be dat. I hope you dey fine.

Hahahahahahahaha

You did not answer my question joor.

missjo:
Bukatyne

Thanks a lot.

Souqwaqif:
I wonder the type of human being you are,so you encouraged insurbodination,for your info I didn't meet her initially in that kind of dressing, I saw her a decently dressed lady before I went to her,this is just happening now because of bad friends

You did not answer any of my questions.

This post addresses one so let me ask the other again:

Give us instances of her insubordination.

Can you give us more background? How she met the friends? What they are enticing her with? Prior to now, how was your home? Did you guys have a good marriage?

missjo:
The thread is not about marriage? But i did keep seeing words like headship,wife, husband, etc. tho
To be a father,one would have to be married if we are to follow your Christian values right?

I added a comment in the OP that I lifted it from my post on another thread hence I highlighted the part on fatherhood I wanted to address.

See my response to LordKO.

Even if a man gets a lady pregnant out of wedlock, he still needs to be a father to his child/children although marriage is the best platform.

nextstep:
How does somebody "crash" a marriage? Isn't the man a full grown adult who made the choice to get married, and also to pursue an affair? If a marriage crashes because the man was doing oju kokoro and not paying attention to his wife, why blame anybody else?

I'm a guy, but we should stop blaming women for the sins of men, abeg.

We need a hug emoticon.

nwaimoroseyaho:
Some of these celebrities are not as smart as they appear to be. How can you get married these days without proper research?. If not for rumours you wouldn't have known that she has a child.

Ken Erics did not know his wife had a child out of wedlock?

How would a person feel comfortable filming another human in a shameful state?

donstan18:
Are you seeking for an advice or looking for a possible means to tarnish the image of this man by violating his privacy?

Why littering his pictures? Did he scam you?

Is this a question?

missjo:
You are probably the only one who has asked him if the dressing is something new,instead of assuming it started during the dating phase.

We need to dig to the roots.

LordKO:
1. The following assertion can only hold true if the woman is sane, content and humble; "If a man plays the role of a father as he should, it would be near impossible for his wife/ex to paint him bad." - a subjugator/one who's penchant for subjugation can never be satiable.

Meanwhile, headship veto remains infinite provided that the holder remains alive and lives above expediency. Headship/spiritual head is all about living on principle rather than expediency (living at the periphery of expediency) - a head/leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way. So, I don't agree with this "I am sure that is where the agreement of our definition of headship ends." - provided that the aforementioned standard remains sacrosanct on his part. Failure to acknowledge infiniteness of headship in this regard is a recipe for disharmony.

On "the unquestionable demigod persona Nigerian people keep painting in alignment of the Bible." It's little or nothing to do with one's worldview/religious leaning, but it's everything to do with one's mental state in particular and ethical leanings in general - spiritualism remains different from religion. The biblical record of the character "Christ Jesus" was that of a principled entity rather than a religious one.

In summary:

- Goodness (love and submissiveness) can't mutually take place where insanity, greed and conceitedness are present in the life of either one or both parties.

- Toxicity/subjugation knows no gender.

- Self-conquest (of the listed vices) is the only recipe for harmony - mutual goodness breeds harmony.

I need a dictionary for this.

The OP is a direct post I made on a thread about headship that's why some of the paragraphs would seem out of place on this thread.

For some strange reason, the bold command wasn't working in the OP so I resulted to enlarging the portion I wanted to highlight.

1. If a father provides (according to the OP) for his children, how would his embittered ex /wife badmouth him?

solite3:
Nice one. Most people who proclaim themselves as christians dont know what christianity is.
Being thr head of your hime as a man is a responsibility from God to men to lead in the example of Christ raising up a holy generation to God's praise.

True, thanks

missjo:
You know Christians are not the only ones who get married right?

Yeah

This thread is not about marriage.

I would appreciate if other religions outline the duties of a father here.

A smart woman won't get pregnant for a Davido out of wedlock.