₦airaland Forum

Dress how you wna to be addressed.

Hmmmmmm.

What wickedness.

Who knows if he has nothing over there?

13yrs wasted.

Pavore9:
Those women are our sisters, who raised them?

Where are those memes when you need them?

Acidosis:
We've never been on the same page?

I don't know the water you drank recently

Anyways, Acidosis is back.

Yay!

ibkayee:
Imagine having to tone down your ambition and career progression because of an insecure husband lol. This is the type of scenario where submitting can get in the way of your career as a woman

In this woman's case, the husband is wicked.

His salary is in the upper middle class band in Nigeria.

kalvoken:
Your summation is top notch.

Thanks

Acidosis:
Someone posted this earlier "submissiveness doesn't mean a man having his way over his wife". Nothing is wrong in having certain prejudices about about situations, job, in-laws, place of worship, etc. It is not gender specific.

People should focus on marrying sane partners. A man can allow you to work 24/7 so he can merry in peace and tour the world with his side chicks, not necessarily because he wants the best for you. Some want you to work so you pay most of the bills.

Marrying sane and loving/lovable partners should be our focus. Submissiveness, and the rest are extremely natural when love prevails.

This one I agree with you so.......

Marrying sane partners is key.

Mellowbandw:
Is it possible for a wife that submits to her husband to have a successful career?

What is your definition of submission?
What is your definition of a successful career?

ibkayee:
I know this was supposed to be an edgy retort but jokes aside, you haven’t heard of cases where the husband doesn’t want the wife to work?

Someone's husband I know refused her getting a better paying job so she doesn't earn more than him.

Same woman is responsible for most things at home.

They look like a fantastic couple and Bolanle is a good actor.

Looking forward to the movie.

1. A fantastic sex life: someone who is satisfied is content and rational around sex. For it to be fantastic, it has to be quantity and quality.

2. Communication: Self explanatory

3. Honesty: Be open and honest especially when you have different/ new expectations from your spouse.

4. Self control: create boundaries because you would see someone who has that nagging 20% your spouse does not have. Tangling with them would be forgoing the 80% for the 20% that you were doing without.

5. Apperance: put a great effort into looking, smelling and feeling good for your spouse.

6. Behaviour: create a safe haven for them. When your wide or husband is afraid to come home, there is a problem. When your home is a war zone, it is dicey.

7. Love: saving the best for the last

Men who have Madonna-LovePeddler complex should seek help.

Newguyhere:
Just because you live a miserable life doesn't mean every guy out there is like you bro
Stop hating!

Get more mature mentally and emotionally so a smart girl would be interested in you.

With the current you, no smart girl would tangle.

They should switch faces.

Happy birthday Miracle's sister.

Is she by any chance named Signs or Wonders?

https://media./media/qZSOu5MoaL3q0/giphy.gif

crackhaus:
How does this...


Translate into this?


He wasn't born and hasn't lived in Nigeria?
His ancestors are not African?

It's called indoctrination, culture programming.
You people keep thinking it's the Bible that commanded women to be submissive, what a joke.
You forget that your forefathers living in the jungles of sub-saharan Africa with no command of English, the inability to read & write, no contact with Christianity or the Bible, yet their communities back then were built around having wives (multiple sef) being submissive in the home and taking second seat, even when these same wives still went to farms and markets to sell their farm produce.

You think it's 21st century women that invented the term 'working moms'? Another joke.
There are even more housewives today than in the days of our forefathers when wives don't sit at home all day but could trek for miles across villages to get to markets just to sell what they farmed, and still get back home to pound yam for husband.

My dear, any African man with complete African ancestry, not to mention also living in Africa that tells you he does not believe in submission is paying you lip-service. That kind of mentality is something that is locked into our biological codes from generation to generation. The Asians too have this kind of culture.

Don't let the west play you so-called modern women.
The USA that is now the standard for almost everything and everyone wants to behave and believe what they do, sure, it's a great country, but they LACK culture.
In fact, they have NO culture because it is a melting pot. A melting pot of different peoples. Every single, I mean EVERY single pure white American traces their ancestry to other countries mostly of European origins.

The Bible is not the problem. Forget Bible and what it preaches about how a man and a woman should live in a marriage. The Chinese have less than 3% of it's over 1billion people as Christians, yet they have maintained their cultural values by insulating themselves from the ideologies of the west.
And are they not doing alright? Well I leave the answer to you.


I know some nicompoops (not you) will still read all this and the only thing they will get from it is, 'ohh why doesn't he just go back to the days of our ancestors and live..'
Make una wise oo.

Abeg my fingers dey pain me.

The Bible gives a better deal.

Men are commanded to love their wives sacrificially.

And what our ancestors did wasn't submission.

And the West! I wager that they have more books on submission than we do.

When you stumble on the really conservative ones, you will know that African men has not started.

And how does marriage stop you from traveling around the world and making money

Mk93:
why should anyone want to share toothbrush?

Even if you don't want to share, the circumstances painted in the OP warranted it.

crackhaus:
Lol...

Buka Buka

You called my name.

omotola1:
A friend told me he felt embarrassed when his wife refused to share her toothbrush with him. They travelled to somewhere and he forgot his own toothbrush at home, he needed to brush his teeth very early in the morning around 5am when shops were yet to open. His wife said no and insisted he should wait until shops opens. Did she do the right thing by refusing her husband?

Can you share a toothbrush with your lover?

The wife was inconsiderate.

Yes, she didn't want to share, not bad however circumstances warranted and she should have.

Worst case, she washes the brush with warm water or wait till stores opened.

Aystarz:
Don't tell me you didn't see their last team advert heading into this tourney. It was tagged, "We got balls"

OH! My bad.

Sorry.

Aystarz:
They've got big balls, don't they?

Do girls have balls?

You don't say.

Congratulations to our girls.

crackhaus:
Did you deliberately leave that for last to imply it was the last thing you looked out for?

Actually, the provision I wanted was already embedded in those qualities.

I have stated what I meant by provide in a subsequent post.

Esthered:
Very unfortunate.
You're one of the few people on this forum whose post/comments on threads makes me go to the 1st page to follow the story from the beginning. Well done.

Thanks for the accolades.

All the best in your upcoming nuptials.

lordskid:
You Board a plane from Lagos to Abuja and it mistakenly lands in Canada, will you return to Nigeria?� Lolz

https://www.sid.org/portals/sid/Files/Images/Canada%20landscape.jpg


https://amp.insider.com/images/5b1ec49b5e48ec03088b45a1-750-563.jpg


https://caxtri.com/wp-content/uploads/29462183698_def3893685_z.jpg


www.twitter.com

Will return except if I was already thinking of relocating to Canada and staying at that point won't jeopardize my chances.

DealMogul:
Chai I really can't argue with this perspective but what I see is a woman that snapped. Not every woman does snap and behave like this in such situations. This is very extreme. What happened to confrontation? Amicable separation if necessary? She went too far

The woman is wrong.

With that out of the way, how is she supposed to support herself if she amicably separates from her evil husband?

We always need to be careful. We do not want to build monsters as spouses.

Esthered:
Dear OP, I know a woman but not personally that retired as a level 16 Federal Pay Officer last year. She worked in Ibadan and the hubby was in Lagos with the children. She visited often and she did this till her retirement. You both should come to an agreement as the kids you're emphasising on are the products of the LOVE you share with your spouse therefore he ought to come first. This is what a friend who is married for close to 15 years taught me.

@bold:

Very true.

Not conventional in our society though.

nwanneni:
I think I can do all that except that I am really uncertain about the bolded.
Scares me every time.
I hope I find a wife that can be good at that.

Your wife can only be good teaching your kids how to be a good woman and mother.

You have to teach them how to be a good father & man.

It will help your sons to be upright men and husbands and teach you daughters what to look out for in a man & future father of her kids.

nwanneni:
what do you really mean by emotional and mental stability in lay man's terms?

Words of encouragement, support for their endeavors, courage, knowledge that he has their back literally.

Investment in the marriage, child-parent bond etc.

nwanneni:
we all know I was talking majority here.
Show me one house where rents are shared b/w both parties in Nigeria,I'll count ten.
That's what I meant.

You mean for every one house bills are split, you will count 10 houses they are not?

I beg to disagree.

@nwanneni

When I talk of provision:

As per provision, apart from financial provision (where they decide what they want), it is the duty of the husband to lead his family to Christ through prayers, teaching the word, his stainless conduct, constant discipline (in love) so they are not frustrated and impeccable attitude. He should also provide emotional stability, mental stability and his genuine show of love which will naturally boost the family's self esteem.

He should also be able to provide sound advice and decisions for the good of the home.

He also provides security of love, affection etc. which helps their emotional growth.
https://www.nairaland.com/5158349/dear-woman-man-head-home#77935517

nwanneni:
you want come my house?

And your house (1 out of 6,000,000,000) is a yardstick of how things are done everywhere.

nwanneni:
I like that you are honest.
Who said I won't love and cherish my woman?
Some of them know I do that a lot tbh,that is if they will admit it.

I knew you would capitalize on that.

I work so I can provide money for myself.

Let me look for a post I wrote on a man's provision earlier to give you a context.