₦airaland Forum

ibkayee:
These women of the past that you’re romanticizing were forced to conduct themselves a certain way

The men were also forced to certain codes of conduct also.

For instance, you had a lot of shotgun weddings. They also had code of conducts.

Now that people have the liberty to behave as they will, they pick all the wrong characters to exhibit and are sadly not willing to face the consequences.

baby124:
Interesting article. I think this cuts across for both the young men and women... it starts from the breakdown of marriages and relationships in the home, parents too busy to raise their kids right or have time for them, then the internet as a medium of expression and validation.

I do agree that there is a serious breakdown in morals and value across the world and, across genders. The constant need for validation and see-me culture is atrocious. The. The peer pressure that comes with it, even more tragic. I like to think of myself as a feminist and I have always been.

I am not a social media person and when I stroll through social media in ghost mode, I see even parents looking for validation on the internet, both male and female. You see mothers twerking, shaking breast, taking pictures daily with suggestive poses. It’s like they lack attention and love at home, very sad. I even feel drained Viewing these pictures and watching praise videos where they twerk suggestively and, are furiously all dressed up. Maybe it’s me, but that must take a lot of time and energy which I don’t have. It’s hilarious and mind boggling I must admit

You see fathers posting Videos where they are dancing, puffing up muscles, showing off suspicious wealth that we all know they did not work for, and twerking with strange women or strippers. Lmaoooo.

Then you see parents open social media pages for babies... even their teenagers are all on social media, exposed to predators and all sorts of vices. Some parents even encourage their kids to participate in these vices to gain instant gratification and to pepper their mates and the world. This is a worldwide phenomenon and confirms an absolute loss of values. For both men and women.

Men have absolutely lost their charm and chivalry. It’s like all man for himself in the age of the internet. There is access to so many more women than before. Everyone seems to be desperate and in a hurry with many options. No one sees the need to try anymore and work on themselves or their relationships. There is always one desperado a click away willing to validate you if you twerk hard enough.

Then there is the porn. My God, is there the porn? So vile and extremely disturbing the lengths porn reaches these days. Even little kids are exposed to porn and we see little kids even rape these days. Porn has definitely spiked up the level of sexual immorality around the world. Little kids are being mentally abused by watching porn both online and even in their physical spaces. Selfish and so called adventurous people even have sex in parks in full view of little kids to destroy their innocence.

At the end of the day, it is the age we live in. The age of being moderate is long gone and we have lost it as a people. It’s crazy but it is what it is.

KanwuliaExtra:
Na who be “we”?
Na who be “they”?

Na who dey look for who to “trip”?
See freak show!


FEMININE MYSTIQUE = VIRGINITY?
What is the mystique in feminism?
You live your life to be validated by others(men or women) and you call yourself a feminist?
There is no “we” in feminism. I don’t do labels or “gangster-philosophy”. Do your own, I do my own.
Abeg no be “WE” matter!
Shikena!





Sooooo, na wetin cause wahala be dis?
Interesting the narrator did not emphasize on the fact that the ladies were being loud. Women should not discuss the almighty DICKK in public o, but should only HIDE in secrecy/hypocrisy to discuss and share their experiences. If men discussed the female anatomy in such terms or worse, women would accept it as “boys will be boys talk”. Women have to learn to CHOP DICKK and pretend to be “coy” to “trip” men.

The only problem here is that the ladies were in a movie theater. I don’t see anything strange in their behavior. Glad they left the theatre, so as not to disturb others.

Awon me and “my husband” group of feminist-mystiquettes! These ladies are not married and have every right to demystify their own “feminism”!

Kudos to them!

No where did the OP mention virginity in her comment.

Interestingly, boys who would stoop so low to discuss their sexual contests in public would be looked down upon.

In fact, I have never seen a group of boys or men uncouth enough to discuss their sexual business in public.

Amongst themselves? Yes which often times is 'coded'.

Fountainofyouth:
Apologies bukatyne for derailing your thread, someone had to be schooled on sense.

No worries on this one.

His first comment was off point.

desvi:
we are 7.7 billion people on planet earth of which roughly 50% are female of which not all can be classy

Classy should be what every lady aims for.

theButterfly:
I would love to see that Imitation Game film. Alan Turing was a genius. It's unfortunate he took his own life.

I am looking forward to watching it too.

Fkforyou:
Wow...How can someone spill so much trash like this?

I swear you didn't read the article.

Quick question, the person that wrote this article, what's her husband's name?

Hahahahaha

Michelle55:
Lemme park here.. Here to learn and read as usual

What have you learnt?

Jayslicky:
I just love the way women are screaming and complaing, trying to be equal with men, it makes men know that they are the standard of what is called successful, no matter how a people run they can never run past their shadow, they'll keep playing catchup till the end of time, it will be an intriguing movie.

Did you read the OP?

lilmax:
lol

why don't you go to transactional sex topics online and see women flop?

the line "its my life, my body,my choice" divided women like never before,but most women are too dumb to see it

at least, the writer is a woman, so we ain't getting "men shouldn't tell women what to do"

Would like to see links to some.

HungerMustGo:
Valid concern. But who will take you seriously. This is a fast paced age. Fast internet, fast wealth, fast cars, fast technological advancements. Nobody wants any slow down anymore. Not even in relationships unfortunately. If you slow things down, nobody wants you. Too bad.

So sad.

ThothHermes:
You are trying to cage women abi

Stop trying to police their bodies.

You don't tell men how to behave but you want to tell women what to do and how to do it.

This is not the 20th century. That's how they prevented from voting
Slut-shamers will go to hell.

Although I believe this is sarcasm, I actually expect same standards from men and women.

dingbang:
Nice piece bukatyne.


Modernity has replaced the old ways of behaviours. I really don't blame parents though, no matter how hard they try to tame their kids especially the females, when they grow up, they are still misled by the society.

Thanks.

I still believe in train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Most of the kids were not trained.

nwanneni:
you dey confuse me oo.
Isn't that what y'all want?
You know the whole modern woman and feminist
I'm lost seriously.

Having gone through all your posts on this thread, I really appreciate the ladies who dealt with you.

@zeb04, @Fountainofyouth @spongeisback

Thank you.

Apologies I have been Mia, let me now dig in

runwaymodel:
What's disturbing? Go thru his posts.... He gets the highest number of likes with his posts here. One post he doesn't like, next thing he does to deactivate right away. good riddance

If that amount of people liked a post against him despite the fact that his own post garners a lot of likes, it means there are a lot of people liking his post and cheering him on who are in reality uncomfortable and dislike his posts.

Disturbing if you ask me.

Anyways, human nature.

ashewoboy:
1.ladies don't have sense. this is the type of guy she should date. no. she will date the bad guy who will phuck her very well. stupid girls. ladies stop going for guys that you like.go for guys that like you. ladies don't learn. stupid girls.


2. she has friendzoned this guy now. guys stop going for ladies that you like. go for ladies that like you.

1. Some, I agree

2. A lady should always be with a guy who loves her genuinely.

Sorry for my long posts as usual.

This was written by a foreign woman however, I very much agree with her.

I remember when guys used to write love letters and wait for days for her to respond to now where they chat on what'sapp and conclude like they are transacting meat in one day.

The rampant nudity, crassness and bed hopping have reduced women's worth while same women scream that there are no longer good men.

They've got to go back to the drawing board especially for those who want marriage and want to be respected by men.

Nothing beats a guy who is in love and dedicated to a woman.

No woman should settle for less.

Have Women Lost Their "Feminine Mystique?"

In my despairing opinion, too many of us have become a louder, dumbed-down, sexed-up, selfie-snapping, pouty-lipped, desperate shadow of our former selves. That's what men are seeing, and that's how they're treating us.

I was sitting in the movie theatre this past weekend to see The Imitation Game with my husband Don when a gaggle of twenty-something gals walked into the theatre, continuing past us to sit in the very back row.

Like lipsticked versions of the typical unruly kids at the back of the bus, their antics were soon in full-swing and their volume was set to maximum. Here's what we -- and every single other person in the theatre -- heard.

"I shi*t you not, I was so f*cking wasted I can't remember how I got home!"

"You were like SO f*cking hilarious! You were like dry humping that guy so bad...he probably went in the can to jerk off..."

"That guy sent me a pic of his dick!"

Just as one young woman was launching into a fairly graphic description of the aforementioned "dick," a theatre employee -- oh how my heart went out to this poor chap -- approached them and asked them to keep it down. After finding several ways to argue with and insult him, they finally piped down. And then they left halfway through the movie.

As you may know, The Imitation Game (a fantastic film, by the way) is set in London in the 1940s. It co-stars Keira Knightly as Joan Clarke, a brilliant young woman who was part of Alan Turing's code-breaking team and who spent the war years helping him decode the German's Enigma machine.

We, as women, used to be something of an enigma to men. We used to have feminine mystique, an inscrutable and alluring "something" that men wondered about. And boy, did they try hard to figure us out. They used to trip over themselves trying to impress us with their charm, kindness and wit.

There's a scene in The Imitation Game where a young lady is flirting with a man at a pub. She says to her friend, "He'll be coming over here soon...I smiled at him 10 minutes ago and haven't looked back since."

And guess what? She was right. The man knew exactly what the smile meant: "I like the looks of you, and if you're willing to take the risk and come over here, you'll have a warm reception."

Fast-forward to 2015. Forget the inviting smile and feminine allure. Now, a guy can sign on to Tinder and use GPS to track women who have advertised an eager willingness to have sex. There's no subtlety, no mystery, no effort.

Now, women are fighting each other tooth-and-nail to pose naked on various online sites so their finest assets can be viewed and "judged" by men. If you're really lucky, you might even get the Slut Whisperer to post your pic on his Twitter account. Hey, that's the big time, girls!

The fact is, men have never thought so poorly of women as they do now. Their opinion and treatment of women -- from apathy to disdain -- isn't getting better, it's getting worse. And it's women who are paying the price. Studies have shown that the hook-up culture and living together without a commitment harms women who often "settle" for these things when they would actually prefer marriage.

Yet for some reason women refuse to look at their own behaviour and role in this. The nastiest feedback I have received about my admittedly controversial dating guide, The Modest Minx has been from women who were irate at the message that a woman show "less ass and more class" while dating.

Yet these are often the very women who complain that they're sick and tired of being treated "like garbage" by men. These are often the very women who say one thing, "I'm proud to be a slut!" but who feel something else, "I feel used, discarded and strung along...I feel lonely and sad."

I add my voice to those women who lament how poorly men seem to think of us nowadays. It seems like, despite how far we've come in terms of legal and socio-economic equality, we have never been held in such contempt by men. That matters to me, since I value the relationship between men and women.

Some people blame feminism. I don't. I'm proud to be a feminist. It's just that I don't equate feminism with treating our bodies like sexual trash and thinking that is sexual empowerment. I don't think swaggering into a movie theatre like a group of drunken frat boys means we're liberated. I don't think sending pics of our naked bodies to men for their gawking pleasure is a feminist act.

Oh, I can just hear the groans now. "Ugh, another backwards article trying to slut-shame women..." It's funny how people fall back on that accusation the moment someone expresses an opposing opinion about femininity.

Here's the thing: There's nothing wrong with sexual modesty. There's nothing wrong with conducting yourself with social grace in public. It isn't oppressive to use your manners or send the message that you have some class. In fact, you might find that "acting like a lady" motivates the men in your life to act like gentlemen.

Quality men tend to approach quality women. That's dating, decoded.

Personally, I'm sad to the see the mystique disappear. I find it depressing that so many women prefer to be downloaded and "pinged" instead of romanced. I've always been a vive la difference type of person.

And I'm not alone -- although strangely enough, it's mostly young single men that seem to agree with me. Not a day goes by that I don't receive feedback from a single man who says he's looking for Mrs. Right, but all he can find is Miss Right Now.

If you have the opportunity, go see The Imitation Game. Not only is it a story that deserves to be told, but it's a fascinating study in how feminine behavior has changed over the past several decades. Note how differently we as women now conduct ourselves.

In my despairing opinion, too many of us have become a louder, dumbed-down, sexed-up, selfie-snapping, pouty-lipped, desperate shadow of our former selves. That's what men are seeing, and that's how they're treating us.

Or if you prefer, you can just sit at the back of the theatre and talk as loud as you can about dicks.

https://m.huffingtonpost.ca/debra-macleod/female-sexuality_b_6581084.html

Acidosis:
Sir bawo? just call me baby boo

Old man dey play loff.

TV01:
Sister B how far? Good to hear from you. How's family?

Ah! See the thread you mentioned me on


TV

We are good thanks.

I would look for a befitting thread to mention you.

You just disappeared from NL.

Preciousgirl:
Did you know if you give snail meat to a dog to eat it will die?

Interesting

How would someone verify this without becoming a murderess?

Preciousgirl:
Did you know we consume lots of human excreta daily through our food and drink?

How so?

Deepfeel:
Did you know that heavy thick snow falls in Lesotho and some part of South Africa

Thank you joor.

I guess the thread should be about astonishing facts about sex.

A classic case of what you don't know doesn't kill you.

I am sure almost everyone here eats a sort of swallow.

When made in commercial quantities, you can't rule out sweat drops inside.

MaNyEsq:
Do you still wonder why once healthy individuals are dying like flies in Nigeria?

Did they just start processing oil like this?

Stephani3e:
Doctors can't do that, they might lose their job or license.

They need to change that.

crackhaus:
Iz like you didn't read the previous comment properly. I'm telling you that NO Nigerian woman will like it to have a househusband who even does everything that is expected of him.

You people are not built like that, it's against your very nature and essence. Don't kid yourself oo.

I understood the previous comment well.

Do Nigerian women have a different essence and nature?

I can only speak for myself.

Would I like/want a permanent househusband even if he does all expected of him?

Nope.

I feel living for chores, caring for the home etc. is a waste and respect people's choices to do so.

However, if we have a plan say 'hubby takes a break for a year or two while I push in my studies or career so I can get to a work from hone/whatever stage', it is a different conversation. And he will be building himself up while at home. Ditto me.

I am not in the position to however speak for every Nigerian woman.

The wife needs to know her stake in the marriage and prepare for a divorce.

zeb04:
you can’t notify the spouse There is something called patient confidentiality, really sad situation, but it is an everyday occurrence in the hospital.

At the detriment of the spouse?

They need to review it.

crackhaus:
Bukatyne, even in the true definition of a house husband, Nigerian women, in fact NO Nigerian woman would want one for herself.

Let's keep it 100.

Let the men who elect to be house husbands do what is expected of them first before we even determine if the wives would like it or not.