₦airaland Forum

Twitter users are complaining it is cheap.
Nairaland users are complaining it is expensive.

In the same Nigeria.

Na wa o.

Elesta:
you married a reasonable person, I didnt

Do you want solutions you can try to improve things or do you want NL to help you hang your husband?

SweetBuns:
Some men are just perverted idiots



How would you feel if someone stared at your wife like that?

What wife puts herself on display like that?

That man is only reacting to his natural instinct.

Until he acts on it wrongly, he has only committed the sin of lookery.

genq:
SHUT UP.

Most wives employ househelps to do all this. So what's your point

Nigeria-based wives are useless, entitled & lazy. Some work and keep their income to themselves. They offer absolutely nothing to a man!

Sex? There are girls out there for that..
Children? Again, this can be gotten outside.

If one must marry, our women abroad are better enlightened and do offer some level of equal partnership. They bring good income in and do their fair share of chores without the use of house girls .

@bold:

What did the men contribute in this scenario?

crackhaus:
As for me,
https://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/writing-bad.gif




Maybe Bukatyne and UjuJoan2 can do justice to this.

The OP has to realize the need to be married himself.

No one can do that for him.

Bossjakande:
I need a wife cos i need a sex mate.I want a woman to share my bed with foreva.only useless men sleep around.
I need a wife cos I need children I want to have a children from one woman for dem to grow together and know how it is to have both dad and mum in same house .
i need a wife cos I need a cook.men who eat outside up and down Neva live long.most times thier enemy poison dem or use juju against dem so thier life is useless.I want to eat her food foreva.
I need a wife to take care of children home and house work or visitors.
I need a wife for respect. no one will respect u in family church society and work if u are not married.one tin DAT pains me is if I go for youth meeting I'm church sit down with 20yrs too.
I need a wife to spend my money on.u feel good wen u do DAT.
I need a wife to grow old with. most children once dey enta schl graduated. dey abandon u and u are alone and in pains of loneliness. at 80 can u still be after girlfriend. also for grandkids and DAT ur children take care of u later. I know one baba with 7 kids yet dey dont want to see him.he born dem for diffrent women. now his old and lonely. cant go after women again.
I need a wife cos God command us to do so.

@haul,

He has done the groundwork.

Add/remove as you deem fit.

crackhaus:
Stop begging.

If he stops begging (seeking her consent), what next?

Forget sex with her? Cheat?

Imogenn:
I am working atm, in a nursing home. I am a graduate But that’s about it.

DO you like what you do?

DO you intend to build a career in nursing? If no, what do you want to do?

Imogenn:
I wrote this thread last year about a guy that I had met who was into all kinds of rubbish
https://www.nairaland.com/4861952/god-showing-me-signs
Well after deceiving myself and going back and forth with him, I finally said enough is enough. I broke up with him early last month after i went through pictures on his phone through his email, and I saw that he had taken a picture of my bank card details to possibly steal from me. I also saw screenshots of him having friendly conversations with another girl in his church. Although there was nothing to serious in their chats, I just felt it wasn’t appropriate to have friendly conversations like that. So it’s done and it’s over.

Now I recently just turned 25. I feel like I’m getting to that undesirable age and I just feel that I will never find a serious guy. I feel like I’m never going to find someone, I’m so lonely all the time I’m just fed up. I’m that anti social type that hates being in crowds so it’s sooo difficult to meet people. I’m just fed up of everything. I just feel damaged and I feel like I can’t trust anyone and i don’t want to waste my time with unserious men.

I need help.

Relationship aside, what else do you have working for you?

What are your aspirations in life?

When he gets another job and starts cheating, same wife would complain how she supported him when he lost his job and he still changed on her.

The chronicles of the ungrateful Nigerian husband and how all men are scum would start.

The way you treat people at their lowest matters most to them.

crackhaus:
And he kept begging for it.

Someone needs to wake him up
https://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/stargate.gif

What will you have him do?

crackhaus:
Lucky man

We are both lucky

The way the Whites worship is different from the way blacks worship.

I am sure this was written for them.

Acidosis:
You may never be able to satisfy her as much as her ex. I suppose she's been sexually involved with a hardcore machine.

Some exes are bas. tards, they just enter into a woman's life to disembarm, desicrate and scatter her sexual configuration, making the future husband seem like a complete novice. The excitement they get from such bastards are usually short-lived, and many send the rest of their lives sexually frustrated.


Nevertheless sha, you should work on yourself uncle. She's your responsibility now. Do all you can (not drugs o), to improve yourself.

But the problem is with the OP

He honestly told us he doesn't really feel aroused.

@OP: work on your stamina by watching your diet and lifestyle. I hear yorgurt (Habib 4 peak milk), tiger nuts (eaten raw or blended with dates) etc help with arousal and general enhancement.

Ask madam to also research stuffs that would help. Na she want machine, na she go prepare am.

Please stay away from all these alcoholic drinks people use.

crackhaus:
I'm just comfortable you used 'you would try your best not to' instead of 'you will NEVER'.

Even genuine love is not a guarantee there won't be feelings of hurt sometimes.

We are humans so sometimes, the other party would annoy which would hurt.

But a serious, grievous offense?

Mbanu.

Even if you plan to start, you can't finish it.

Gentle, kind, thoughtful with a great self esteem and no baggage did it for me.

Xaos:
Holy shìt. I ticked all the boxes.

Hmmmm mm.

crackhaus:
Even when it hurts

When you love someone, you would try your best not to hurt them.

A dagger to the heart when it is from only one end.

rexericx:
My literature review (extracted ).

Many dont know what feminism is, if you ask them they will say its equality of both sexes...
Equality is a broad term, Equality of what, how ?
These are the questions many Can't answer.

Most ladies on the other hand, wants the benefits of a weaker sex but do not want to be treated and controlled like a weaker sex.

Are they ready to accept equal responsibilities?

I'm yet to see an independent woman that is truly independent..

Remember ladies, there is a big difference between a husband and a man.
God placed men above women, you can't change what God has ordained.

There can never be two captains on a ship, even pilots onboard are not equals . This has nothing to do with culture, mentality or been archaic, it's what life has bestowed upon us.

Every woman wants to control her husband but no mother wants her son under a woman's control, same people would turn around to complain when men demand submission and total authority over them.

Women, choose the right men and train up your sons to be same.
I have seen a lot of women complaining about their husbands and still train their sons to be replica of their husbands.
It seems the qualities most of them seek in husbands, they do not want replicated in their sons.
It's possible for a woman to enjoy equal rights and opportunities as a woman and still submit to her husband.

Somehow women still train their sons to be like the husband they complain about and never instilling the qualities they want their husbands to have. Isn't that weird but It's mostly true, perhaps they know those qualities will actually make their sons weak.

I don't encourage men to be matrimonial anarchists, I support men practising partnership & friendship.( being a friend to their partner rather than being more of "I am a husband". This is more of a privilege that women shouldn't take for granted.
Well a man headship doesn't mean a woman should remain silent.Every one deserves respect too. Men or women, young or old.

We all need to drop this superiority of a thing and learn to shift ground no one is a slave but a help mate.
Successful people do not have (superior / slave) mentality... Rather companionship or partnership.
let's enjoy life as it comes.
©Rexericx
Inspired by
™©Jovia

Dedicated to all the people who commented on the first Post.

https://joviavoice..com/2019/06/many-dont-know-what-feminism-is-if-you.html

Is there any reason you did not reference the posters since you lifted their posts verbatim?

And what is this new practice of peeps lifting posts off NL to their blog.

I thought it was the other way round.

liberalchick:
This will be a long and bad night

Pele o.

Hopefully, they re-strategize for 2nd half.

Realhommie:
There's nothing pleasing about them, they haven't done anything spectacular.. They're just fortunate our girls have made costly mistakes which they've capitalized on.

I meant physically.

naptu2:
Team list.

The Norwegian Team is pleasing to the eyes than the Nigerian Team.

Acidosis:
VFD MFB

Thanks

Ryan03:
The beating has reduced cause she have learnt to ignore most of the things he do and also found a teaching job so if he doesnt give her money for anything, she Dont complain

Ok.

liberalchick:
Yes o that’s if she did not marry in the court. If she did then she can be granted divorce in the court. However, if she did just trad, then the courts will have to refer to the customary laws. Scary stuff.

Most of these traditional marriages have rituals embedded in them.

DMerciful:
AmazonTopaz,

Interesting thread, thanks for creating.
However, my take away is from what bukatyne said about women somehow still train their sons to be like the husband they complain about and never instilling the qualities they want their husbands to have. Isnt that weird but its mostly true perhaps they know those qualities will actually make their sons weak!

Not necessarily weak.

It just shows their desires might be lip service or they are selfish and want others to suffer what they did.

Acidosis:
Open a savings account with one of these MFBs or Fintechs (e.g. Cowrywise) that pay monthly interests on deposits. This is a better option, way better than a regular savings account with a money deposit bank (First Bank, UBA, GTBank, etc.)

The MFB I use request a minimum deposit of 50k for the first month, and subsequent minimum of 30k monthly, so I wouldn't recommend this. However they compound savings monthly at 14% annual interest rate.

With Cowrywise and other platforms [you can research on], I'm sure you can start with as low as N5000.

It's quite easy to meet up with payment. Simply fill a standing order for a specific period (e.g. 12 months), and submit to your bank. A standing order is an "instruction to a bank by an account holder to make regular fixed payments to a particular person or organization."

Alternatively, you can run a mutual fund with a reputable firm. This also is very good especially if you intend saving up a significant amount for bigger investment like Treasury Bills, Bond or Shares. You would have to read more about this on Investment section (there's a mutual fund thread) as mutual fund consists of different arms (Money Market, Fixed Income and Equity), all constituting varying degree of risks. Money market is largely risk-free, good for risk averse or anyone on low or high income.

The good news is you're starting early. I started MF late, a couple of weeks back to be specific, thanks to the thread.

In essence, you should save to earn more. That's the basis for saving. Inflation is so high, don't deprive yourself for nothing. It's better to eat your 30k today than leave it for 5 years with no interest. Five years from today, 30k won't give you the satisfaction you would gain from same amount today.

Wish you the very best.

14% is good.

What's the MFB?

nkemakonam100:
Thank you ma. I appreciate this. I been think say na spiritual issue. I will check and know if diamond bank can do the auto deductions and not allow withdrawal. Thanks

I think auto-deductions into another account is better because I heard NYSC can probe accounts without activity. (I heard o!)

I forgot to ask:

Can you still do your security with Service?

Modified: I you can't.

What state are you serving?

ayobarmy:
The only thing we're looking at is my wife's egg business, but space(We only mange One room for now) and Capital has been the only reason we've not expand the business... but if you have any that you think can help Us, Pls kindly share.....
We shall be more than greatfull...

What about you?

You can also explore her supplying ahnie stuffs for her own business.

What about your wife frying akara, yam, potato, plantain, fish etc. I know there is a lot of money in the business if you get a good location.

Ryan03:
I joined NPF as a recruit, trying to get admission into police academy so i'll attain the rank of ASP After five years

Ok, very good as you are sure of attaining it.

How do you intend to fund yourself in police academy?

crackhaus:
And what happens on those days when there are misunderstandings and this 'love' isn't burning as brightly as it ought to, what keeps you submissive?

Same thing that keeps his loving.

Genuine Love.

Love is an action and not a feeling.

Besides, my idea of submission is different from the 'Nigerian' one.

Ryan03:
I'm trying to apply for a five year course in my job that will fix me with a 6 digit salary thats why i'm writing waec and Jamb again cause i've crossed the age limit. I Dont know how to trade, i would have tried it but have no talent there

Care to elaborate?