₦airaland Forum

NotOfThis:
The way you've described your wife sef. Is your wife a piece of meat?

darlenese:
my dear wake up, this is 21st century . if u are planning to become a full time

Truth is that, there is already a new generation of women who want Equality. How do you reckon with that ?

darlenese:
what does this generation of ladies know? all they do is bend leg on instagram and call themselves slayqueen , they carry big gadget here and there and, wear expensive wigs on their brainless skull msheeeew

the painful thing about them is that they think getting married is an escape route from their poverty and lazy ass. they have nothing to bring to the family table other than demanding for money for fake hair, fake eyes, nails, lashes and even fake ass.

I have a serious problem with this generation of girls. at 300L I already had my business plan in place.i hate dumbass girls that make men see us as liabilities.

TooNoisy:
OP,

Why don't you be the change you want to see. What do you teach your own children? What do you teach your own sons? Are you teaching them to be good husbands? Most importantly, did you marry a good husband? Or did your just marry the richest toaster?

All this teaching is not relevant. Children just watch and learn from their parents. Be the good example to your daughters and let your husband be a good example to your sons.

Gentlelife50:
Why do u think the story is fake? Or you don't know their women like that?

neocortex:
There are disloyal wives who are prone dump their husband whenever
he is faced with challenges so are some husbands who will abandon their
wives.

However, some marriages have broken up long time ago, but the couple pretends
as if everything is okay, even though the only reason the wife
remains with her husband in such marriages is for financial stability.
Whenever the man can no longer provide for the family financially or the
woman become financially independent, the marriage crumbles.

Then you hear story of evil women who dump their husband because he lost
his job.

ableguy:
This has nothing to do in connection with the issue relating to the sales girl, she's partly to be blamed for what happened. She wasn't just smart, if she was there's no way that woman would walk away with ogas money. The thing is I don't want a situation whereby a couple will be having problems because of me

ableguy:
I was in my friend's place today and caught his wife stealing his money, she thought I didn't notice what she was doing?
Her husband's bag was in the living room, he left it there and went inside only for her to stylishly took it and took some money from one of the rapper, fold it and had to tie it with the fringe of the rapper she's tying.

Why I am concerned is the man has been complaining of money missing and has been suspecting their poor house help, again recently she sacked her sales girl because the woman went to the shop intimidated the sales girl and forcefully took some money where they use to keep money. The girl didn't know how much she took, when she calculated her balance she wrote how much she thought Madam took. At the end 1k was missing and he had to deduct it from the girls salary.

My own is why will she be stealing from her hubby?
Okay, what of telling her later?
If I tell the hubby I don't know how he'll react and the woman will know I was the one that told her husband.

Should I tell my friend because my conscience is pricking me.

Sterope:
This is not about how much he earns. It is about his financial responsibility.


I don't think there is much you can do without him flipping out. IMO, I think k you should conduct you and your children affairs as if you are a single mother, as if he is no longer in the picture. Basically, you have to learn to save no matter what. Let all financials be in you name, not in both of your names. Cut down expenses significantly. You can have a weekly budget etc etc.

cruchenuti:
Biko Mummim, i just saw a Man like that oh, he's one of our newly married neighbours

I just love the drama in this family section. Where married women always come out aggressively. Never a dull moment. Haha

RadicallyBlunt:
So what is your point now. That the man shd start doing chores? Just say it in plain words...that after they courted for adequate time before marriage and they both agree to go into the marriage knowing the risk such a high income difference could pose, they can now exchange duties, while d wife takes her position as d head of the home because she's paying bills, the hubby is to switch to wife post and do d chores.

If you want your thought justified just ask God to remove your womb and put it in ur husband then give you a penniis so that it will be clear that womanhood is a burden than a privilege.

Instead of advising a troubled op, you're debating between a man and a woman in marriage. Did she mention chores to you? The issue is finances here.

Rukkydelta:
My problem is not the fact that he only take care of electricity and water bills but he don't help in house chores and he loves to live a expenditure's lifestyle

My thought is that whoever bears the more financial burden of the home will do less house chores. For example: if a man provides 70% income to the home and the woman 30% then the women should take a domestic work load of 70% while the man 30% and vise versa

Op as a gender equality promoter I will advise you and your husband to engage in a peaceful and effective communication to sort out your issues as the illustration I gave. Success in your marital life

SonsOfLiverpool:
not all men are like that.

if you know your history well things are changing. let's take a step at a time to resolve this issues.

cococandy:
I don't know how they don't see this. Entitlement at its finest.

tempem:
Thanks. He's told me.

SonsOfLiverpool:
a god expects worship. obedience. he expects praises even if things don't go well.

get you definitions right.

SonsOfLiverpool:
so what's the whole essence of allowing the girl child go to school and work like men if not to take on responsibilities?

please kindly teach me why a man in his right senses shouldn't know his wife's salary.

thanks

cococandy please read the guy I quoted and address him. since most of you ladies avoided his comment. thanks.

eyinjuege:
Even a man taking care of 100% of the bills always complains. So don't fault her for complaining. Its not easy to be honest.
Op is still taking care of all the other aspects of running the home, despite being the financial pillar. I can't imagine a man bringing in the money , and still doing the cooking, housework, childcare etc. You can see there's no equality in that either.
Her husband brings in less than 10k ( used for water and electricity bills) monthly. I'm sure even as a bachelor, he didn't use10k as living expenses.
How much more as a family man now with 2 children, and he's comfortable bringing in 10k?
A man earning peanuts compared to his wife should be giving her his whole salary (save for transport and small daily expenses for work), so that she can disburse the money as necessary. That way, there won't be any resentment from her. Rather he's taking out loans on frivolous things, and putting further financial pressure on his wife.
Infact he should be given cane everyday

RadicallyBlunt:
Lol, indeed life has 2 sides, only the concerned would understand. sincerely I do not support the husbands attitude but funny as it sounds what I see here is d inverse case of what some men face with their wives who claim to be supportive. Though they bear it somehow but a woman would bear such only to a limit. Spending is sweet but being the provider is never an easy thing.

I admire your action op to ask for advice. Some would rather act rashly. I dont know where and how you get to talk to ur husband that the talk enters his mind deeply and he considers whatever you say. You need that means now to make him understand that you both have to have a plan. His getting loan from work and receiving 30k is an instinct in men generally...an instinct of taking financial risk to yield more money or thereabout.

However in a case like this, he needs to tell you what the loans are for, you deserve to know. His unsupportive attitude and disgusting complain abt the food too is unnecessary pride.
Asking for more than one meat is normal..he's d head na..you both agree on marrying each other with d huge income gap so don't go that way...pls give him his meats.

If after talking to him and he doesn't wanna understand, then I bet a third party's intervention would be pertinent...most preferably an elderly pastor he respects not family member yet who can blow out the secret of you earning more than him... God help you ma'am

SonsOfLiverpool:
when a man takes care of the bill 100% there's no problem. when a woman does close to 90% there'll be problem. so much for gender equality nonsense.

on that note, please keep paying the bills but leave out some and get him tensed. like make him understand its not enough. don't push too far with this though.

anyways, I think he is too relaxed because of your pay. talk sense to him or talk to his family for help.

and yes am not married so this advice is based on common sense.

chuks000:
Hmmm...seems like a good man to me....just alittle councelling would do d magic

tempem:
Let me start by acknowledging this fact.
Family section on Nairaland, is the most matured section where you find quality opinions from experienced parents.
With that in mind, what I hope to accomplish is to get sound opinions from you guy. Thanks!

My boy came home, telling me a man was trying to play with his genital part, I was scared, but I never made it glaring to him. So I thanked him for confronting me to tell me this, then I further asked, who was the man?
Then he said, Dad, I am sorry I wouldn't tell you, I frowned at that, why wouldn't you tell me?
Then the mum came, called me in and said, respect the boy for telling you what happened, if he says he's not telling you the person, forget about it, so that he will find it easy to confide in u next time.
I was terribly shocked!


Nairalanders, at that point what will the father do? Let go?
Or knowing the man is not the fathers' business really? I'm just confused!!

hopey8088:
Guys pls, I'm 25 and I'm planning to leave my father's house and town to a close by town to hustle for myself as I feel staying there is making me lazy. Also there are a lot of quarells between me and my dad that I just don't like. Everytime I raise the issue of leaving, my mum is always against it but I'm seriously considering it. Pls is it right to do that.