₦airaland Forum

coolcatty:
And how many women run their putrid mouth on their female bosses?...female soldiers and policemen?...heck they don't even run their mouth at their tailors and hair stylist..so why run it on their husband that provides for them?

it's just like my wife now,running her mouth at me when I know and have witnessed how she is so so scared of her immediate boss..even stammers when she answers his calls.....a small boy that is not my mate in anything academically and financially...then tomorrow society expects me to walk away when she hits me.....who will pay for my emotional and psychological trauma?

Take time and go through what the OP posted...most of u just comment whatever u think will help u garner likes from ignorant people..... Bet u are not married....never being in a relationship sef..........the society is just moroniic and tends to support a woman even when she denigrates her husband......I have friends that have very provocative women as wives...mwomen with no iota of respect for their husband....just running their ungrateful tap they call a mouth.....causing immense emotional and psychological trauma to the man.....men suffer domestic violence too.

And if any if my female relations raise her hands first to hit her husband,I will regard the man as the biggest fooool on earth if he doesn't retaliate.

Rubbish... What lousy morals are we teaching our young ones self?

@bold:

How many men slap their female bosses and colleagues after years of disrespecting them?

The relevance of a wife is determined by her husband. Some men want trophy wives, housewives, career wives etc. etc.

Also, some women don't aspire to be in the boardroom and are content in the living room and the other room.

MiddleDimension:
i was begining to think everyone here is ignorant until i saw your post. thanks for this post. that person you quoted saw that the thread is about a lady saying those other women who are opposed to polygamy are missing it. that means she doesnt have a problem with it, and yet some people still think no woman wants to married to another man who also has another wife.

IMO, polygamy only hurts the first wife.

flyca:
No woman on earth wants to share her man with another woman - not even his mum. No woman wants to be second or third wife. No woman wants to be babymama.

Na condition they make crayfish bend - these days they try to bend with pride

Don't be too sure

Some women want the 'freedom' 'modern' and what's up polygamy brings.

And what has his religious inclinations got to do with the state of the Educational Sector or did it just decay today?

Let's wait until he starts making anti-female educational policies then we have something to hold him for.

Till then, Oga minister doesn't shake the hands of the opposite sex (females). End of.

Choiszman:
A South African Lady, Mapaseka Semenyane desperately needs help with her 16-months-old son, who already weighs 18,5kg.

Mapaseka, 30, who hails from Phase 7 Kasi in Mangaung spoke to Daily Sun about her boy, Lucky who was already wearing clothes means for age 4 and six and even has size seven shoes.

She said she couldn’t carry Lucky on her back because he weighed as much as a 10-year-old.

Mapaseka is very worried about her son as he keeps gaining weight at an abnormally fast pace.

The worried mum said:

“I gave birth by C-section at Pelonomi Hospital last April. Lucky weighed 3,9kg at birth and he has been growing very fast ever since.

“He now weighs 18,5kg and doctors say that’s the weight for a 10-year-old. The doctors have been testing his heart and so far they have said there is no sign of anything to worry about.
“They say they will not be sending him for any more tests.
“I can’t hold my child or carry him on my back.
“Luckily a Good Samaritan donated a pram but his clothes don’t last long as they become too small in a matter of days.”
Nthabiseng Mbalo (31), whose son Itumeleng was born 17 days before Lucky, said her child wore size three shoes.

“Mapaseka gives me clothes that no longer fit Lucky and I give her money for new stuff for him,” she said.

Free State Health Department spokesman, Mondli Mvambi, said they would continue to monitor and support Lucky’s family.

Shared on www.palmchatnow.com

CC: Lalasticlala

@Bold:

Very interesting and the beauty of communal life.

You can look into having a business with Creche and elderly care simultaneously. Parents will be very willing to keep their kids in your Creche if their parents can stay with them.

You should look for jobs entailing such now to garner the needed experience. .

Goodluck

Oluwa da baba si fun wa can also mean God keep our father alive for us to care for him.

Joavid:
search within yourself to find the answers.

If my guess is right, and you're more endeared to your mum, answer yourself.

I totally agree

crackhaus:
You realize you just called this innocent girl's father a biitch, yea?

Not necessarily... in some cultures, the head of the family (oldest living male) makes the rules and each party do what they like (make their own rules) when they get to their private homes.

Marriages are mostly seen as an extended family affair with the head of the family overseeing the entire process.

How do you expect an average 56yr old father to stand his ground for an 80yr old uncle who probably trained him in secondary school?

@Trudax:

Nice one.

I am happy I came across this thread; I am usually amazed when I see people parrot that our parents are better than we are (like they didn't train us )

I largely agree with the OP and have always said that Nigerian parents don't train their kids aka inculcate values they want replicated in their kids; they do fire brigade approach and excessively beat a child for doing something wrong.

Again, most people were never allowed to critucally think and were taught to obey in a zombie-like manner without critical thinking that's why a subservient subordinate can be a very brutal boss/master in the space of 2 mins.

Religion: same issue.... the problem is not with religion (how many people actually study their religious books); the issue is the cultural flavour of zombie-like obedience and suspension of critical thinking brought into it. Infact history tells us that most of the early fathers of science were very religious. Again, our religious leaders sell 'hope' in exchange for seed planting aka tithes, offerings, contributions etc.

Is the black race cursed? Maybe.... or how do you explain someone who has access to voodoo making his neighbor as poor as he is instead of making himself the wealthiest person in town?

oludebby90:
When will men realise that we women have our limit....dz sex thing can get boring and very painful for us. She is getting old..sex of 14 years ago might not be that interesting and fun for her again after kids.

All things being equal, what do you advise the husband to do?

GeneralOjukwu:
If i was the guy, would fortify her with magun (anti-fvck) and bang the nonsense out of her nightly as revenge

If you bang her nightly as 'revenge', then what would you need the magun for? What will she need a lover for?

@OP:

I found it very strange that they church members cheered and celebrated the 'joining' even when the bride was in tears and rejecting the advances of her husband.

Forced by her uncle because the groom sponsored her through school? The video doesn't paint such sneario except the wedding was in the husband's church and he was the oldest bachelor so the members are over excited he has finally married.

Interestingly, the bride actually kisses him at the end.

Will their marriage last? If they both work hard at it.

The bride will see reason at the end and the groom is patient.

Jaabioro:
Now that the world is gradually turning upside when it comes to marriage.. what's happening to our young women nowadays can't be quantified to the rate the old folks women are grabbing the available young men baffled me.

Well well

What can we say?

Congratulations to him.

He must be very brillant, his wife is absolutely sure of it.

Interviewer: why is your husband good in politics?

Wife: that's under stating the facts; he is not good in politics, he is good in everything. ..I can't think of anything he is not good in.

Wonderful commendation from a wife of 10yrs older than you by 24yrs.

Theit marriage has obviously lasted a while.

Kudos to them.

Bollinger:
I wonder why you guys hold too much value with sexual morality. And the hypocrisy. You want to have sex but get pissed when they refuse and laugh at them when they do? Are you people that daft?

I am yet to decipher this my bro.

Did Adesua ever claim that Banky is her first man or what's the whole hullabaloo about?

From the writeup, I would say the girl child is a victim of the untrained boy child.

TooNoisy:
So I saw the post on Facebook and decided to share.

As mothers, we have the opportunity to shape and build the next set of Nigerian men. We should do the best we can and not let our daughters marry ill-prepared men.

It is easier to build up growing children than to repair broken adults.

Totally agree with you.

God bless their home more for doing the next right thing.

They both look very good.

yvelchstores:
Honestly, I can't relate to your complains. Sit where you want to sit in church. You may be on the defensive cos I Am yet to see a church that reserve a special place for single ladies . Secondly, marriage is a job really, a job that Ofcourse comes with its benefits as well as challenges. just as u celebrate when u get a job and happy the company found you worthy, I don't see anything wrong in a lady feeling same way, that her husband found her worthy. That is even a good attitude cos a lady that feels the man is fortunate to have her will end up wanting the man to serve her. This is not as God intended cos the Bible says the woman was created for the man .you need to start changing your mindset to align with marriage the way God intended so when that blessed man comes your way, it will be a success story, from beginning to end. Bless u.

The Bible says the husband is a type of Christ; Christ came to serve man, that's where servant leadership concept came from.

@OP:

If you don't like the way a church treat its single sisters, speak up to them or leave ditto others pressuring you.

You here is not personal.

As long as humans exist, marriage aja forming of new families will always be celebrated and held in high esteem.

lightblazingnow:
By tradition marriage is hard

Meaning?

Acidosis:
Nigerians are too temperamental, backward, and archaic. A result of negative religious indoctrinations.


There's nothing wrong in taking care of the aged, but the joy of parenthood is to be able to cater for yourself by working out a survival and retirement plan. Frustrating the hell outta your kids shouldn't be anything any parent should wish for.

It is actually demonic and satanic for any parent to raise children for PENSION purposes.

@bold: Lols!

@OP: I agree.

To actually think the Bible says a 'godly man will leave an inheritance for his children'.

All the godly people in the Bible left wealth and morals for their generations.

Heck, we the 'children of Abraham' still tap into his blessings.

The complexity or otherwise of a marriage depends on what both parties make of it.

FortuneTeller:
I think Americans are becoming more cautious of marriage due to finances. Women are outpacing men in the workforce, so men are not as valuable. Also the risk of ending up with a lazy man who doesn't want to work, can easily happen in the current society. I see men getting left frequently because they don't want to contribute well to their family. No woman wants to be the breadwinner and have to deal with a man who not only insults her, but can't even feed his family. A woman doesn't want her husband to be a liability. He's in even a lower position than the children. I firmly believe the more money women make as a whole, the more likely marriage will slowly become obsolete. I feel this is slowly happening in Nigeria as well.

This now begs the question: is money the only thing an average man is bringing to the table?

Interesting topic

Quiet people are different from reserved.

Reserved men do it for me.

I not like attention seeking/lousy people.

So Adesua's name has changed to 'Banky's fiancee'?

Interesting.

Congrats to them. Have a great married life.

LushGreenz:
Chores in the home:-

Our Nigerian Men will have to get off their high horses on this one. Expecting that royal treatment of getting served at the dining table all the time,even when you come home late from work and you expect that woman to get up out of bed to to fix your meal is really a lazy attitude on the part of our men. Trust me,it will do us men a lot of good to learn first and foremost to be independent,versatile and well rounded. Don't let no woman scare you with chores or her leaving you. Don't get used to anything a woman makes you feel you can't do without and that you can't do by yourself. Men are naturally crafty and fast learners: It's no surprise nowadays even they(women) prefer those male hair stylists, and the multinational hotels of the world hire male chefs. You see, we beat them at their so called chores. Picking up the kids from school and attenfing PTA meetings are things we also should not be lazy to do.

Marriage is a fantasy nowadays my dear,majority who are in that mofo are in it for their kids,or for fear of loosing so much,not to mention it's become so abhorrent in this generation. A relationship isn't about one person having control over another. It's about teamwork,respect and understanding. You think men have power and control?
Ask a man to try acquiring a house or renting one without his wife,you'll hear the realtors talk about and only put into consideration what your woman would or may like,I mean like your own opinion doesn't count. And why should it count when they'll end being the landladies of the said property when you're done away with. My dear, we're equal!

If you can divide all the chores 50%, no wahala with the 50% payment.

DavidEsq:
I have seen a MIL who hated her DIL, from the very first day she saw her and no matter wah the guy did to make his mom change her attitude towards the DIL, e no work. After som years, it became very clear the guy's mom resented the DIL because the DIL was a very peaceable person who made the guy see life from d pictures of strife, trouble-making, wickedness and hate. Infact, the MIL even told a terrible and desperate lie against the DIL and wen the dude didn't beat his wife as the MIL expected, the MIL cursed the dude. The truth of the MIL's motives came up after a very close frnd and neighbour exposed her. FYI, all the children of the MIL hardly go home and wen dey do, they are out the very next day.
So my dear, I understand ur para at the OP, but u just don't know how implaccably wicked some MIL can be, such dat no matter how one may try to protect the woman, the MIL wld only succeed in spreading bad blood among the oda manipulable siblings. BTW, the MIL I'm talking about later gave the DIL food, under the pretext of "my daughter" and the girl developed a serious pain in her abdomen which drained the couple's cash.

Thank you for this.

When peeps say that some MILs are evil, they tell you how you will be an MIL someday bla bla bla

ihaveallpeace:
One is useless/worthless if he/she is not useful in any area. No one is as far as am concerned.

Lagos @Acidosis.

Your problem is not a lack of employment; your problem is that your husband no longer (did he ever?) respects/love you and I tell you that even if you get a job today, he might have something else to hassle you about.

However, a lot of husbands don't/will not respect their wives if they brought 'nothing' financially to the table; even Yorubas call it 'alabodo'... a wife you feed to mess

@Stay at home mom: why did you decide to stay at home? Was it a joint decision or you felt that was what the home needed at that point. If it's the latter, then it's obviously not what your marriage needs and you need to dust your behind.

You also need to sort out the issue of infidelity (if you are bothered) and bad mouthing.... getting a job will not stop that.

@Men who don't want 'professional' wives who say 'yes sir' to bosses: no everyone aspires to sell rice & beans or have a supermarket...

And it is a delusional to think that you won't say yes sir to your customers if you want your business to grow.

President Buhari still says 'yes sir' to his godfathers.

Only few people have the luxury of not saying 'yes sir' to anyone and there is nothing wrong in serving people. Even the Bible says... You see the man diligent in his business; he will stand before (serve) kings and not mere men.

I disagree that teenage pregnancy increased.

In cultures where there is no transfer of paternity when the father is not wedded to the mother, teenage pregnancies have always been rife. That's where the concept of iyawo nylon bag where a woman cohabits with a man because she is pregnant for him came into being.

I even know a village where a 26yr old mother of two have more 'market value' martially than a single 26 yr old girl.

I wonder why we always think there is anything new under the sun.

thorpido:
Blogger's story I guess.
We are in modern times and there are open relationships now,so this is possible.
If indeed it makes the woman happy,so be it.

@Bold,

It is more of we are in the modern times and wives want their husbands faithful.

There has always been one sided open relationships anyways.

cococandy:
Good good
You?

Splendid