₦airaland Forum

I don't believe this story.

I though the OP said they were dovorced?

So how did Kanu 'leave' his pretty ex for Linda? Or was Linda the woman he allegedly cheated with?

The ex seems up to something.

Kanu & Linda better watch their backs and stop prancing all over social media.

Toks2008:
I wonder o...the lady should kuku remain single but she must not sleep with any man o cos that will be adultery or fornication and self service sef must not be done by her cos people say it's a big sin and lesbianism is out of it.

Isn't this a joke?

Do husbands go to hell for adultery? I don't think so.

Adulterous husbands in the making, just marry wives from Toks church. He would have doctrinated them enough to accept your wanderings.

If a husband who professes to be a Christian decides to commit adultery (a sin); a wife who professes to be a Christian can also decide to divorce him ('sin 1') and remarry ('sin 2').

Both parties will be judged separately on the last day.

I honestly wonder how we can condemn a part of the coon when we intend or are currently doing the other.

If OP who professes to be a Christian cannot speak out against adultery and instead is teaching wives how to accommodate their husband's wanderings, I can only conclude he is a 'Nigerian' Christian serving the 'Nigerian' God.

Odiegwu.

(I have never seen a thread of his on how to accommodate a wife's adultery)

unitypeace:
I think this will be another topic.

What if the couple cuddle too much without releasing the built up sexual energy, they become very frustrated & unhappy?

Oya na, start it and mention moi

I will say orgasm, sexual satisfaction etc. are.

If a couple cuddle too much without releasing the built up sexual energy, they become very frustrated & unhappy.

eyinjuege:
Stop being sentimental. Every case is different e.g your woman verbally abusing you differs from pushing you, differs from biting you and also differs from pouring hot water on you. The cases will be judged differently, and your retaliation must also differ in each of these.
Nagging is different from physical assault. Anyone that bites another deserves to have their teeth removed. That's assault.
There's self defence in the law, which I believe is a reasonable right of anyone. If a wife or husband puts your life at risk, then it's allowed for you to defend yourself if there's reasonable evidence to support that.
Some of you seem to think anyone is encouraging women to be violent, and hence the clampdown on domestic violence. You dont seem to realise what real victims of abuse face.
If a woman lays her hands upon a man, then she can easily face whatever comes afterwards.
That's not provocation, that's self defence.
When we talk of provocation, its different from protecting or defending yourself.

Can we say it's provocation and this justified when a woman pours hot boiling water on her husband because she caught him with another woman? Does that mean you've been supporting those women we've been reading on front page who got provoked by their husbands and poured hot oil on the men?

Be careful what you wish for. If you feel it's alright for a man to raise his hands upon a woman, then it's also alright for a woman to do same with force e.g hot oil, hot water, pestle, kitchen knife.

Assault on anyone is unacceptable.
Self defence however, is another matter in its entirety. There also has to be reasonable proof that you truly feared for your life, and fought back. Was the force equal to the aggravation? I can't imagine someone like that new Nigerian boxer giving several blows/punches to Adesua Etomi, and calling it self defence when a single push would have done the job, or at most a single punch .

100% on point.

NairaSand:
I sorta kinda disagree.

We all want different things out of life and we have a right to. It's okay if Dingbang want to do business, by all means please do business. Just be kind enough to let those of us that are nor persuaded nor interested have peace.

It's really not too much to ask.

Thanks

Nice one.

School uniforms have a way of making people look small & innocent.

I thought Anita was/is married to a Hogan/Logan guy?

Safe delivery.

dangotesmummy:
this your number 3 just confirmed this is plain ego and fake pride

Is the father of the bride and groom doing competition? Or are they in some form of competition as to who will outdo who.this is just ego,that Yoruba's call agidi talaka

If you say the wife should return it no Problem but make sure she's not trekking or jumping on okada especially when she's pregnant because you think collecting car from fil means no respect

Need I remind you that a girl who's disrespectful is disrespectful, whether or not her father carry.even children of pepper seller or corn seller can be unsubmissive in marriage. It has nothing to do with her background.

Moreover if your mother bought car for you and named it for only you does it change the fact that your wife still has vagina?

You must really think the world revolves around you guys over inflated ego

Agidi Talaka....

That's just the word.

Poverty is truly a disease.

I thought a wedding gift was a surprise?

One of the major reasons the rich stick to their kind.

Imagine Indimi stalking because Buhari gave Zahra a house in London as her wedding gift (an example).

Let water seek their level biko.

An2elect2:
No God does not love women more. What is biblical is that God bestows special love upon His chosen people which comprise of men and women from all nations.

Thanks.

This is my view too.

FortuneTeller:
I never said it was a SOLUTION. I am letting the op know that most Nigerian women are doing the same thing as his current friend. Whether poor or rich, Nigerian women are dating multiple men for material things. However many do stop once they get married and work to build their families. I know what I have seen and the holy holy ones aren't very holy. Many are even sleeping with the pastor. If you have seen what I have seen, you will change your mind. The op is wasting his time looking for a "virtuous" woman. He should instead make his desire known plainly and see if she stops.

Hmmmmm

I don't think the problem is poverty; the problem is greed and not willing to take charge of their circumstances.

FortuneTeller:
Op I truly believe 90% of nigerian women are seeing multiple men for financial reasons. Even if you don't find evidence, the truth is that this economy has pushed many "good" women into prostitute behaviors. At least you have seen the truth, whereas I know many people who have never known and are still referring to their wife as holy holy. If you truly love her, you would not allow her to continue to be free to engage in immoral behavior. You would give her an option to be a married woman and work with you for financial prosperity.

I disagree ma'am

If money can make a woman kep multiple men while unmarried, she will keep multiple men after marriage if their finances negatively change.

The lady in question has her parents and the OP to access money from.

Marrying her is not the solution to the OP's problem.

KennyID17:
Wow thanks, this has been giving me a headache ever since I registered on this forum

You are welcome

Peeps this is not a Christianity bashing fest.

The OP is clear. ..

Why do people think God loves women more and would answer their prayers faster?

Blade21:
you are high abi!!! I married earlier than her sef so retract that comment

He has used petrol to drink garri

antidisestablis:
Hi guys just like what I promised , I just want to reveal little things about all what I have seen so far. Actually it is an established fact that she is actually cheating, if anyone would tell me that I will come online to right a story about my relationship I will tell the person is a lie.
I told u guys she was out of town to visit one of her family members in nearby state which was the state the guy is residing, she actually visited the guy , I have some of the pics she took when she was with d guy in the eatery. I also established it that it might not be the first time because one of the staffs where d guy was working knows her , one of the staffs was even asking when is visiting again and she said after Ramadan. Actually the guy was even saying he can wait till the she come visiting him again.
I have not been able to establish it maybe they have had sex because she had deleted the previous chat before i launched my attack on her ,but I promise I keep trailing her till I established my fact. also I discovered she keeps asking money from the guy which he is giving her which is usual of her with me. Let me tell u, is not I'm a very stingy guy I do things for her which somehow she ask for it. I have done a lot like paying her school fees , buy phones , laptop and help her about her project in school, I was there for all all through I just said all these just to let u know that how I love her.
Sincerely our relationship has been going smoothly when we quarrel we settle it immediately,she still sent a lovely message to me this morning, in addition to this my parent like her very well including my siblings.
I have asked her if she had kept her distance from the guy which she replied yes affirmatively, she keeps lying about many things now , only God knows why she has decided to treat me this way.
Seriously guys I'm devastated I know time heals everything. Let me stop now and keep u guys posted.

It is a pity things have gotten to this point.

I believe she sees you as a husband material and wants to keep you around while she gallivants with men. I don't see her marrying that man....in her mind, you are the one.

The Appearance Of Piety doesn't mean I am pious. I can tie my hair, wear long skirt, no makeup, profess to love God, quote all Bible verses, pray all day etc. and not be a Christian... by their fruits, we shall know them.

Did you pray before you started courting her? Are you 100% certain she is the one for you? If no, end it. If yes, go back in prayers to inquire what happened. God can't give 'dogs' to His 'sheep'.

@ no sex before marriage: if you can't cope with it, tell your partner and either drag them to your side, burn with passion and do wedding sharp sharp or masturbate (a lesser evil) till marriage. (What I will do).

Side note:
If you are not ready for marriage, leave peeps who are and continue dancing alingo with daters.

God bless him.

Next step is empowering them to sustain themselves.

Seun:
God is the father, not the mother.
Jesus is the son, not the daughter.
The Holy Spirit is referred to as "He".

Man was created first, in the image of God. Woman was created in the image of man (chai!).
The twelve disciples of Jesus were all men. None of the many 'cherished' women following Jesus was deemed worthy to be an apostle.
No single book in the bible was written by a woman.

Women are to keep quiet in church and 'submit' to their husbands.
The Catholic church hails Mary, the mother of Christ, but she would not be allowed to serve as a priest, bishop, or pope.
Religion gives real power to men here and now. Women get nothing but empty gestures and sweet words.

Interesting perspective

KennyID17:
Sorry to derail ma'am, but what does OP mean?

Opening post / original poster.

Take your pick.

Anyways, OP will always reference the first post or thread starter.

makydebbie:
Thanks alot. I'll read the scriptures you gave, thanks for your contribution, I love your sense of humor.

You are welcome.

greatnaija01:
its not worth discussing cos you are not using scriptures...
here see what God says:
Galatians 3:28(AMP)

28 There is [now no distinction in regard to salvation] neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you [who believe] are all one in Christ Jesus [no one can claim a spiritual superiority].

Well, those are my thoughts however the OP is quite common.

It is a very common saying that God loves women more that's why He would answer their prayers more and we have many sayings to that effect: Power of a praying wife; the efficacy of a mother's prayers etc.

Even pastors say a mother's and wife's prayers are the most effective over a man etc.

Some women even opine that God doesn't like to see women sad. ..

My question?
Is this true? Does it hold water?

Correct stand:
I have not seen any evidence that God loves women more from the Bible, would answer them 'faster' or have more 'compassion' on them.

I think it is a consolation line for them

So let's discuss.

And no insults abeg.

@makydebbie:

This topic is one of the most controversial today.

I have done a personal search on the stand of women in the Bible and I honestly didn't see any implication that women are less reckoned with or acknowledged or that they couldn't lead.

A number of times, we confuse what God wants to what the peeps (godly and ungodly do.) For instance, we have polygamy.... while there might be no explicit scripture saying polygamy is a sin and the patriarchs of old heard several wives, God didn't intend polygamy in the beginning. Infact, the 'beloveds' also did horrible things like adultery, swindling, lying, murder etc which nobody justifies like we do polygamy.

@Pastorhood: I believe a pastor is called by God; clear voice, visions, signs etc all the works as in the Bible times so that solves it. If I know God genuinely called me to be a pastor, why should I fret?

I read Paul where he says women shouldn't bla bla and I still see him praise Priscilla for teaching Apollos (a male) in the synagogue. 1 Corinthians 11 : 8 - 10 says women are created for men, yet he goes on to say verses 11 - 12; 16.

As for women speaking in church in chapter 14, read vs 34 - 35 and vs 36 - 38. What does it say?

Read 1 Tim. 2: 11 - 14 and compare with vs 15.

Was Paul saying in verse 15 that Jesus was not enough to save women and they still needed Childbirth to save them? Is he saying that a childless woman cannot be saved? How do we reconcile that with his advice to shun marriage for God's work except if we can't abstain sexually?

I believe this discussion is borne out of pastors who called themselves or are appointed by a church like RCCG style.

If a church also has a doctrine of a woman not teaching/preaching in church, then their women abide or leave.

I would sha have problems with a church that has problems with women teaching/preaching and they still expect their women to serve food.... biko, the deacons (people who shared food for widows) were men.

Cc: Ioannes

Ioannes:
So in you words, Paul was wrong and Jesus was right?

I'm wondering what else is in the bible that is wrong. In fact on the basis of your submission we can't believe that the bible is free from errors.

If the Church of Christ can preach error then that means the word of Jesus that the gates of hell will not prevail against the church wouldn't make sense.

I'm glad you know that the word church means "the gathering of christian believers".

Preaching to the whole world is different from preaching and instructing when you're IN the "church".

You keep dodging my question and as long as you keep quoting me I'll keep asking you.

The 12 apostles of Jesus were all men, why is your own pastor a woman?

Do you think there is anything wrong with slavery?

If I decide to treat a slave 'fairly', would I be wrong to keep one?

Ngokafor:
...'Father-hood' is a thankless job indeed ..

..Rather than playing victim here,Nigerian fathers and potential fathers should up their game abeg cos they are loosing it....They are not doing enough for their kids in so many ways i dont even know where to start...I have a gazillion true-life instances to give,but i will leave it for now.

..I am yet to see a responsible man who took care of his family like he should (WIFE included)..,abandoned by his children when he is old..Children are not fools,if you maltreat their mom,they will realise that and DISLIKE you thoroughly in the long run.cos such mal-treatment usually trickles down to the kids.

..I will end by saying in life...You reap what you sow..period!

Thank you

Toks2008:
When you marry one woman and have 5 other side chics and when you are married to 5 wives I wonder what the difference is.

There is no difference in that the man is cheating.

There is a difference for the women however because most of them still have other men.

Except a woman is a public runs girl or determined to be a babymama, no side chic or babymama is 'single'.

antidisestablis:
Well, I have proposed to her, I have made my mind known to her since the beginning of the courtship. All my families know her, I have even met with her father and mother and made my intention known to them. The guy is married she can never marry d guy even if they are dating, she may be doing that for the fun ofit, she is young and just graduated.

I have found out I have very divergent views when it comes to relationships & marriage however:

I don't believe in having spares or open ended options once your are in a relationship / courtship. There is something it does to you and you can't give your all because B is there as backup.

I also don't understand the concept of a person saying he/she wants to enjoy before marriage. Is it bondage? What do they hope to enjoy? Sex? Attention? Money? etc.

Your girl as an example. .. why would she encourage another man's advances? Let's assume they have nothing together. Why would a man (martial status notwithstanding) call her 'the one he loves'? The one I love is different from my live; my dear etc. and other endearment friends use.

Am I saying your girl shouldn't have male friends? No (that one sef is for another day; what do they have in common or are they guys she friendzoned?) However, she needs to realize that she has pledged/committed to be loyal to you. Again, why should she have a lot of his pictures on her phone While the man might be chasing her, she is encouraging him which is not ideal.

You said she is a virgin? Check well to see that one bobo or Alhaji is not chopping what you are saving for your wedding night.

If upon investigations, she is clean, yhen you need to tell her that it is either all of her or nothing. You are done with fragments of her.

If that is the real reason Banky went ahead with the introduction, then i am afraid for him. What would he do when Adesua is crushing on PSquare? Renewal of vows?

Again. You profess to be a Christian, pray.

crackhaus:
Your husband has no respect for you. None! Not a single drop of it..

How it got to this point is something you will have to sit down and analyze thoroughly cos I can't believe you had NOTHING to do with it.
Either way, you don't deserve the disrespect. If he even has to get close to women, why women who live in the same vicinity as you do..I don't get it.

What is he trying to get back at you for?

Is this you?

elektra:
Don't mind her! Every advice and action plan has been met with opposition and excuses. It is obvious the poster has no intention of doing anything to change her situation and just opened this thread to vent and have a pity party. I'm just sad for the kids involved.

The OP is looking for pity and quite a number of posts have given her.

Some wives actually wear their husbands' brutish attitude proudly as battle scars. Afterall, only one lucky enough to be married have them.

Like byvan & I would say, almost everyone have the instinct of self-preservation; when she feels endangered, she will know what to do.

Till then, goodluck.