₦airaland Forum

mizcyn:
I used to say to myself if I was ever hit by my husband I will leave but here I am. I'm a wreck, its not like I don't have the means to leave but here I am. All I hear is I'm sorry it won't happen again, forget it.im lost, drained of all emotions fighting with what I have always known that men don't just hit once, it's something of control and they keep exerting it. Why don't they fight their friends or fellow men, being a woman is the worst thing to happen to anyone. The society blames you and justifies the man, your friends gossip and laugh at you, your priest says marriage is a covenant, where do you go, who do you turn to

What do you want to do now?

You can't seat and keep wringing your hands forever

Nice

Floodgater:
This the problem with staying in an abusive marriage, the mum does not only suffer, she makes her children embrace suffering.

If you know How I hate that demonic advice eh!

pickabeau1:
Beautiful

So the message should be this rather than encouraging sexual liberty

Who has encouraged sexual liberty?

pickabeau1:
I have been particular about marriage

Using the bible to justify crap is why I came in

OK, do you advise restitution If a husband cheats on his wife?

fem29:
I call that hell on earth

Hell on earth ke?

That woman is a poster Good wife

Abduletudaye:
In relationships or marriage, everything is not so rosey. The experienced ones can confirm but there's always that time when the lady upsets her man and the man punishes her by not eating her food.

Does this action really disturb you ladies?

Is not eating a punishment?

As better punishment would be asking the wife to prepare something else or not dropping dropping food money If she doesn't work.

God forbid I punish myself with something that will hurt me.

God forbid.

Anyways, I trust my Dave, he will will rather eat, be filled up and discuss maturely

Go even dey find apology with extra meat sef

There are actually few things that serves as punishment IMHO

motherheart:
I had to create this new moniker to Hide my Identity.
I have been married for 7 months now and at the beginning it was rosy but now i am dying in silence. My husband works in another state but i am planning to move there soon to be with him because of my job.I practically beg for his attention and calls. He hardly calls me or chat with me.I have begged and told him that regular communication is key to sustaining a marriage but he would not listen to me.He claims he is always busy, he wants to rest, bla bla bla but i am worried his love for me is dying slowly. please house, what do i do?

First sorry for the stress

Secondly, If your husband doesn't call you, Why don't you call him? Besides, it is not his sole duty time call you or initiate communication though he has to respond whenever you do.

Thirdly, is it over the phone he complains of tiredness and busyness? Or when you get to unite physically?

Is his job really tasking?

How was he during courtship? If he was not Good at commnuicating, saying I do won't make him Good overnight.

pickabeau1:
Ok

At least you've made a stand

So why don't you make that clear in relation to the op which advocates confession without restitution

Using of Scripture to support ungodly injunction is what I did not expect and for you not to make that clear was all the more telling

Interesting you are going the Scripture route.

Does the Scripture support men cheating on their wives? Does it exult female chastity over male chastity?

Am I God a sinner is praying to that I would know If confession without restitution will not be forgiven ?

Did we read anywhere Paul restituted to the families he persecuted?

Have you restituted all your sins?

Mogidi:
Disgraceful old man, marrying a girl younger than his own.

Disgraceful ke?

Did he force her?

pickabeau1:
Why ask a question with another question


Once again I ask is it scriptural to confess sins to God and not also to the harmed party or undertake some form of restitution

Yes or No

Depends on the sin.

I do not see How restitution comes into someone 's past. A party Cheating in the present relationship... yes.

april2015:
I grew up in an abusive home where my dad beat my mum for whatever reason just so long as he was angry whether with her , us the children or anything she always paid the price, after then he will beg like he is genuinely sorry only to do that again. The beatings were without mercy slaps .blows. dragging on the floor kicks, marching anything what soever , I grew up always wanting to leave the house don't know why she stayed. then I get married and I'm beaten by my husbands. It started with him throwing things at me when angry phone, toothbrush etc he knows how much I hate battery I never condoned or accepted it while dating, even then he said he wasn't a wife beater. but he's dad usually beats the mum that she had a bad mouth, now I was beaten I want to know is it genetic, generational, I don't want my children to grow up the way I did, I always told myself I will leave where a man to hit me, now I'm here pregnant and confused. He says his sorry, swearing with my late sons name he won't do it again but I can't trust him I know the cycle to we'll. what do I do

What do you want to do?

What crime do they plan to arrest the son for?

Oscar shouldn't have slapped his mother even though she deserved it.

I detest such mothers.

Let Oscar apologise very well prostrating and beg others to help him beg.

The mother will learn never to poke nose again.

And in the spirit of virginity or not,

I see nothing absolutely wrong in wanting to marry a virgin (both male and female) even If you are not one (anybody can wish for anything)

Infact, it is ideal both parties are virgins.

Best for everyone

pickabeau1:
All I asked was is it scriptural to confess to God and be free...is it?

Is There anywhere people confessed their sins publicly or to someone else?

Do you confess your sins to someone else apart from God?

pickabeau1:
Does the Bible support what she said or its a mishmash of earthly wisdom with smattering of scriptures?


Where is it said confess to God and move on

Is There anywhere the Bible says confess your past to your spouse?

Timbuktou:
There still is a lack of consent isn't there. Rape is theft.

Then they'd be best served being monks and nuns wouldn't they?

Well, kudos to me for having a wonderful past, eh?

Indeed, I agree.

Or spill lies!

Well telling your wifey you stole shouldn't be such a hassle.

Nobody is perfect and some people are unfortunate to have a lot under their belt... Like a NLer's signature..... This would have been me except grace (sure this is paraphrased)

Till the whole comes to an end, people will keep hiding their pasts or giving edited versions

I honestly do not see how many ex's your partner has had matters in a new relationship or marriage

redgem:
Will leave the house once I get a place to stay...can't stay in my friends place with her husband.. Called her and she promised to get a place for me.

Thanks so much
Babyosisi
Andromida
Davep
Caracta
Bukatyne
MarvellousGod
VintageCocktail
Pickabeau1
Cococandy
And those I wasn't able to mention

Will keep you all posted and will require advices of more issues arises.
He is currently not around, he went out
I tried apologising but he didn't let me talk, he said he just wanted a little rest then he will get back at us, that we should be grateful that he let us sleep in the house and we've exhausted our stay. He began shouting but mum and I kept quite like we were advised to, he talked from 10 till to 12 then He got a call from his friend and he left the house.

It is well

VintageCocktail:
From the little she wrote, the mum is a poster child of what every male nairalander wants as a wife....quiet, submissive, not contemplating on divorce even if she is maimed, humiliated and strangled infront of her children and the world and you're still asking for more as if the parties in question are here laying the complaints.
Honestly, would've loved to be married to such a down to earth wife if I am a weed smoker.

Tell the girl what you think will solve her problems in these quagmire, the parents can sort themselves out as they used to, even if it means the weed smoker succeeds in strangling the wife.

@bolded: very funny

Timbuktou:
Perhaps, tongues may wag and they may faced with the demands of the law. Scorned lovers have been known to do the most hideous things, you know? If I were a criminal, the fear of jail time would deter me from being honest. If all my history holds is sordid details of a romantic/promiscuous nature, I would be more than willing to disclose my indiscretions to someone who I'm sure loves me. After which I would hope for magnanimity, if I don't get it though, I'd blame myself not them, it was my fault, not theirs. Sayong if they can't handle it they can take a walk or calling them immature for inability to deal with my mess is disgusting and entitled, to say the least.

The difference is consent and lack of. Come on sis, stop trolling.

*i think you should leave a space between three and some. Didn't know what a party was till I had my reply ready and had to change it accordingly.

I am serious and not trolling...

Rape is lack of consent for the victim and not the rapist.

I guess the fear of the other party walking away also makes the person not to spill.

I doubt you will sing like a bird if you have a very sordid past to your wife; you might give an abridged version.

I would say people should mind what they do so they do not have a sordid past.

And for those who have a sordid past, goodluck to them as they decide to spill/not spill/spill little

edwife:
Very lively,that the thing about marriage-night out is very important,it does not matter where you go.
What a cute couple!



Yep,what she did for them was very nice.Ifeoma couldn't stop smiling,she is very bubbly and lively.
the make up is not daily affair but one needs to keep up,just be cute and clean.

Very True

Looking forward to the next episode... I hope they carry on with this tempo

lilmax:
yes

Ok

Is there anywhere in the Bible that says it's a man's world in sexual matters i.e. men can be sexually loose?

Timbuktou:
I never said criminal history shouldn't be disclosed. I only said I would understand why a criminal would not be inclined to doing so. Doesn't mean I support it. If anybody doesn't want to have to disclose past misdeeds, maybe they shouldn't be doing them in the first place.

Also, rape and a menage are different things. Apples and oranges.

If you understand why a criminal doesn't want to disclose his past misdeeds, why can't you understand why a former escort or runs girl might not want to disclose her past?

What is the difference between rape and party?

@bold, I agree

Thanks to God for a successful swearing in ceremony

President Buhari, whether we voted for you or not doesn't matter.

Please ensure you do your best to move Nigeria forward like you swore today.

I wish you all the best and hope This nation prospers under your watch.

Goodluck and God bless.

Timbuktou:
True deception isn't characteristic of any gender, but we know women are more prone to lying to keep a relationship than men are.

While I don't believe in y+, it's likely the guy would tell his future wife of his extra efforts to succeed.

Per the rapist, he's a criminal. I doubt he would be bold to declare something as vile as rape to a love interest. That said, not all men are rapists and sticking to the general direction of the thread, we're talking relationship history not criminal history.

So gang raping your Gf is suddenly a criminal history that should not be disclosed? But having a party is not a criminal history?

Interesting

Besides Why should people not disclose their criminal history?

Funny turn of discussion... guessing it is Osisi 's thread.

We keep deceiving ourselves with men and women can behave differently when it comes to sexual and martial matters.

If someone opens a thread that women should not smoke, drink, dress waywardly, be vulgar bla bla, I IIIwould say Good one or ignore.

But someone come to say a woman should be chaste while a man can frolick as much as he likes, I know he is kidding.

First, There is no religion that preaches only female chastity... I know staunch Muslim men who do not shake women and talk of marrying as virgins even though they can marry multiple wives afterwards.

Second, except we are talking of gays here, every man fucking around is doing so with a woman.

We can say.. I will train my daughters to be chaste; I am sure we were kids once and did not do all our parents told us.

Someone still said 'it's a man's world he can cheat bla bla ' and I had to ask If he was a Christian.

Let us keep encouraging male immorality and miraculously expect female chastity in the same environment that condemns homosexuality.

989900:
Baba getting to work right from 'Eagle square' I like that!

Na serious something.

He should just keep that speech as his Bible and refer to it daily to keep him on track.

Command center to be moved from Abuja to Maiguduri till Boko Haram menace is over.

I belong to everybody and I belong to nobody....

Hmmm

Let's wait and see

Did I hear him say the past is past?

Thank God Aisha came up with him

I like This VP sha. His wife is always by his side.

otokx:
Christian prayers, has Ayo run away? Why is he being represented by the Abuja CAN chairman? This prayer is too long.

Lols

Exactly my thoughts

The prayer was too serious.

The lman is even reading his own prayers ke. HE did not even pray for Goodluck.

Interesting