₦airaland Forum

otokx:
The place is so rowdy.

Are you There?

ichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] Inaguration to be done in Hausa? What next? Swearing by Quran and a Sharia court Judge?... [/color]

Let's wait na

So far, it is in English

BrokenTV:
HAHAHAHAHA
We are in for a ride GMB disgracing us public. He went straight sitdown only to be remind by OBJ to go and greet dignatries.

I am sure he will pick up with time.

What kind of relationship exists between Aisha and Osibanjo's wife?

Why didn't Aisha make the rounds with her husband?

Chivee:
What do u mean u'd dump me on the basis of some past unholy actions... Then what happened to the immaturity & judgemental attitude u women attribute to men of this society.. You seem to be reeling of the same problem u accuse us of.

Let any big*tch try & dump me for reason.. I'll hack her to pieces... WTF

4teelaw:
Thank you ooo!
It seems women, who can handle sensitive information are actually more in sync with "reveal less"
Meanwhile men who will run at the slightest instance will get be here forming macho man, like they can handle anything.
Being a minor is not by age, it's by your content.
I have a barracks of brothers, and no sisters. I get the opportunity to sit with them and their friends and share experiences. Some dude once told me he had a party, two guys and a girl. I even asked him how he found the experience. He said he was disgusted eventually, and made sure thee other guy was 5 feet away from him. Will he tell his wife this story... he paused...No he wouldn't. She may not be able to handle it (even if I think it's not such a big of a deal for a woman not to handle). What if his wife was in such a party? He flared up, no o! I cannot marry such a woman, and if he does, he should better never know about it. If he marries her before he finds out? He paused again... ehhh, sebi it's in her past sha, but I really don't need to know!

Who remembers this old american flick about a couple who came clean? The guy talked about his deepest darkest past (I can't remember the details) They laugh about it. The woman came clean, her's was that she gave her dog a Mouth Action, and had to kill the dog eventually. Dude couldn't handle it, and he dumped her at the end of the movie.
Someone please help me with the name...

Lols

Timbuktou:
For the most part, yes. The worst a man would do is show his worst behaviour, it's left for the woman to accept him the way he is or bail, but no, she'll pretend to like him for just so she can be a Mrs.

BeeKay, we men hardly pretend . I know this may seem strange to thee women, but it's the truth.

You and I know that's not true.

Some yahoo guys in my school did yahoo + and he slept with a lady who went to dispose the condoms and saw maggots in it.

I doubt either of them will disclose that story to their future spouses.

During student elections, Some guys actually slept in burial grounds for power and influence...

I doubt they would tell their spouses.

You know How many women find out about their husbands' other children/wives at his burial?

Deception is not the characteristics of any gender.

Four guys just gang-raped a girl in Ondo state. One of the guys was her bf. Do you honestly think the bf will tell the next gf that his last relationship broke due to gang rape? Or will the other three tell that they have gang raped before?

It is well

eegoolais:
People, what could make a wife secretly cut off pieces of her husband's trousers, knickers and boxers and deny vehemently even though only the two of them are living together at home?

The wife might be diabolical or There are external forces at play.

The husband should pray since the wife denies it.

redgem:
That is what he wants 'A divorce' but mum doesn't want that

Can you guys focus on addressing the issues instead of This window dressing and your friend telling you bout fears?

If your dad wants the divorce So bad, he will abandon your mom in the house/lock her out/or kill her.

Why does your dad want a divorce? How long has he wanted it?

I still believe you and mom move out while you address the issues from the safety of outside the home.

This your fear is real and you have to face it. Pretending it is not There and filling the void with a job or whatever doesn't solve the problem or make it disappear.

MarvellousGod:
Am I fighting with you? ? Can't you be a bit polite??
Seems everything na fight in this family section, unfortunately I have no such strength. ... Even the op I asked answered politely and you're here disturbing yourself..



And that meant I was justifying a man trying to strangle his wife? ? I only asked cos I wanted to know what led to the fight, maybe they were exchanging words or something but from what I read later, it's been like that since their childhood, so the man definitely has issues. .

Can a man wake up and start acting weird? ? Except he's mentally ill, I feel there are causes.. is he financially unstable? Is he a drunk or a smoker?.Something must be frustrating him.... That I asked whether the woman is verbally abuse didn't mean I was blaming the woman or justifying the man's action..
To solve a problem, you must know the causes.. Except the op and her mum will run away forever as some people advised. ..

While I agree one must know the root cause, asking If the wife was verbally abusive is not a cause.

Nothing justifies attempting to strangle a Person contiunously. If the man cannot cope with the woman, he has the option of separation or divorce.

ApexTitan:
Women will continue to hide their party years history for as long as they can get away with it. They only fess up when ish hits the fan and their relationship is in danger. The OP is encouraging women to continue with this line of approach and I say she is doing them a disservice with such advice. The way to go about this is come clean from the start, that's what I say. The woman faces a different set of consequences when she decides to let sleeping dogs lie only for the dogs to be awaken later on by a passing canary. Those consequences are different for the man. The man may tell of his past sexual encounters to his wife and not take as much damage as the woman who is forced to reveal all later.

You cannot eat your cake and have it.

I keep saying that.

And besides you decide these consequences?

Besides, How many men do you think sing like a bird to their wives and wives to be about their sexual escapades?

You think an average guy would tell his girl 'ehmm Baby, before you I had slept with 50 girls/ I was a gigolo/ I was a love-vendor/ I used to do party '?

The girl they want to marry or their wives?

Do you think it is boys' hangout gist

How many men who cheat come home to tell their wives even If the wives might likely forgive?

You have not heard crazy it wasn't me stories?

redgem:
I eventually called the police since no one could calm him down but, I didn't call them to arrest him, I called them to help talk to him which they did. Thank God, finally we are inside but I pray it doesn't continue tomorrow even though I know it will. But to let peace reign even though we did nothing wrong, I and my mum will go on our knees to beg him...

Thank you all for your advice and support...
I love you all

Is your goal to remain in that house by all means or find a lasting solution

If you knew kneeling was the simple solution, Why did you wait till threats of death before kneeling?

You claim he wants to kill your mom and has attempted strangling her a lot of times...

Why don't you dig to the very bottom of the issue?

MarvellousGod:
Did I say that?

You introduced If the mom was verbally abusive into the mix

Timbuktou:
Nna, the thing tire me o. That's why marriages fail at an alarming rate in Nigeria, the new brides are too fake. Men tend to know what sort of demon their dealing with years into the relationship. What a shame.

And all the new grooms come with clean hands?

ApexTitan:
This is not a matter of what I think. This is something that I have seen repeated over and over again. Any disspassionate observer will arrive at the same conclusions as I have. These different rules for the genders have been in play for almost as long as civilisation itself. The exceptions to the rule do not negate this fact.

A man with a large number of previous sexual encounters is not seen in the same light as a woman with a similar history. The man is not castigated like the woman, if anything he is celebrated and the woman is condemned.

Cue the Hugh Hefners of this world.

You would be hard pressed to find any female equivalent of Hefner or King Solomon. The rules are indeed different for women.

If the rules are different, you will not see a lot of women fessing up...

Don't you get it?

Even the men who the society is more liberal to might not tell his wife all his escapades.

cococandy:
They don't even want you to know the one they are doing in the present and if you did,they would want you to be ok with it yet they want to know even the ones you did in the past.

Marriage is openness and honestly indeed.

Lols

I guess different rules for men and women.

Borrussia:
I wish I could turn you to my bae.

You moniker though, I guess it's too much of Indian movies

If wishes were horses ; look @ my signature

My handle is a literal combo of my names.

babyosisi:
That is why I love threads like these
It exposes the nigerian man and his thinking

I think our society is very hypocritical and sometimes, we do not relate issues here with the real world.

I honestly don't think I would want to hear How my husband strangled people to death.or If he has slept with 50 women and probably 30 without condoms or How many prostitutes gave him a Mouth Action.

Simple I was once a cultist or I was once sexually loose will do for me. Imagining 30mouths had been There before mine or the hands caressing me has strangled people is enough to permanently kill the desire in me abeg.

If it something life threatening or can affect the future then your spouse needs to know in details maybe not too gory.

Borrussia:
Including me

Wishing you well too

babygirlfl:
Exactly. That's the reason I said that when they remember honesty and quote the bible, they are talking to the woman only. Is it not the same nairaland men here saying women should be honest that said married men can cheat on their wife discreetly because according to them what a woman does not know will not kill her. As a Nigerian woman, you have to be very wise and do what you want to do without thinking of what people will say.

We quote the Bible when it suits us

Is it not the same NL wives are told not to search .their husbands ' phones So they not see What will hurt them?

Thought they said What you don't know doesn't kill you?

It is all good

I think each person should run their relationship or marriage as they deem fit.

You know your partner and What they can or cannot bear.

redgem:
Yes, my uncle's (dad's elder brother) place.

Stay There for now

Borrussia:
You have a good heart.

Thanks

I wish the concerned people well

ApexTitan:
Madam you are under the impression that the same rules apply to men and women alike. When it comes to inter-gender relations different rules apply to the different genders. This is something that many modern day people refuse to come to terms with.

A man with a past, let's say a vast history of previous sexual encounters is not castigated on account of that fact (like a woman), he is not looked down upon even by his prospective wife because of this. Once he has demonstrated his provisioning ability to a woman he is romantically involved with she still remains attracted to him even if she is aware of any past that he has. Take a look in the society around you and see if this isn't true.

The woman on the other hand is best served if she comes clean at the beginning of the relationship with regards to her past. Many a man will rethink his decision to enter into a monogamous relationship with a woman after learning of her "adventurous past" (whereas women tend not to). If her past is hidden then later brought to light he feels he has been defrauded.

Advocating that women play the game the same way as men when they themselves are aware of the different rules that apply to them is a mistaken approach.

Strange you think men and women have different rules in relationship yet you are wondering Why women should not spill all.

You cannot eat your cake and have it

1stCitizen:
Why would Paul confess when he was a known butcher. Did he have a partner and was it written that she did not know him well?

On the case of the woman...you just wrote that she was CAUGHT Someone that was caught now confessing makes no sense.

The point we are making here is if you enter any relationship, be it personal or business or a more serious thing like marriage, get into it devoid of fraud or the relationship will be cursed from day one.

That is the ideal However, it is easier said than done.

I could come here and say bear it all in minute details yet I have never been in that corner before.

When you are bearing it out, it should be when the relationship is getting to marriage level. @ least, the person knows you to a certain extent.

What I will say is mind What you do today So you are not ashamed of anything tomorrow.

This is to both parties

lilmax:
When they accept its a man‘s world,i wonder why you guys think men and women are the same,we can marry as many women as we want to nothing can change that


Whats the best option? Tell the man to leave “her“ house(thats if theres any)? Men make the desicion thats why

Are you a Christian?

Borrussia:
What would you do if your teenage
daughter, kid sister, cousin, niece is
impregnated through no fault of
hers, by a rapist?
Would you advise the kid to go for
an abortion or to keep the baby?
I
This is a dilemma from an anonymous Nairalander from Port-Harcourt, found herself when her
14 year old daughter was raped
and in the process, got pregnant.
The single mother has been at her
wit’s end on what to do, even
blaming herself for her daughter’s
predicament.
While many of her friends want
her to take her daughter to a doctor
for an abortion, others, like her
pastor are advising her to keep the
baby as abortion is a sin in the
sight of God.
We are trowing the poser open to
Nairalanders today with the
question:

Do you support abortion if the father
is a rapist?

Cc. lalasticlala ishilove

I do not support abortion because it is a sin; However, I would not condemn anyone who chooses to.

If I find myself in such, I would carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption asap and forget about it.

When I can forgive the rapist, might look for the child for knowing sake.

nerodenero:
Why is that people that cheats on their spouse,always cheat on them with people lower in rank, status, fame and at times, beauty? You have cases like drivers, maids, younger sister or brother etc.

The work of the devil

cococandy:
Why in her home?.
So she can't afford hotel accommodation to frolick with her baby boy

Anyway the man should find a solution to the problem and not let his home break over this small issue. The devil's plan is to break their marriage and he shouldn't allow that to happen.
Marriage is for better or worse.
My people don't let anyone put asunder in your home.
He should fight for his marriage and put the enemy to shame.

Lols

You're crazy on This thread.

redgem:
We've left the house now...called my mums siblings they said they are coming but I don't expect them soon cos they stay far. Called my dads elder bro but nothing he can do cos him and my dad are not in good terms... We are out of the house and he said none of us are entering his house even if God comes down... I'm really scared

What do you want to enter the house for?

Is There anywhere you both can chill temporarily?

MarvellousGod:
I see you don't want to involve the police. .. is there anyone your dad respects who you could approach to talk to him? Maybe your pastor, his mum, dad, or whoever?

Besides, hope your mum isn't verbally abusive? ? Also, why is your dad resenting you? Hope you haven't taken sides with your mum and insulted him??
Just want to know what may hv caused your dad to behave this way...

Is There any 'verbal' worth killing someone?

2goodbobo:
The term "Adultery" is a very serious issue in so many marriages and homes in our world today.
In-fact it is becoming a trend now and most people that indulge in it, see it as noting because
the Marriage institution is being taking for granted these days.However, People react differently
to it,some can stand it but some can't, some can move on from the trauma but some can't.

I just want to know your thoughts and contributions as to why most Women pray for their
Husband when caught in the act of adultery, hoping he will change and come back to them while
on the other hand, most Men send their wife packing and eventually divorce her for committing
adultery without even thinking twice?

@OP:

Nobody forced the women to forgive or pray. That was their decision.

We cannot force the husband to forgive How we cannot force the wife to leave.

ITbomb:
I never even start with the parable
Abraham married 3 wives while Sarah married one husband and Abraham was a friend of God

Who were Abraham's two other wives?

Tamar slept with her FIL yet her twins resulting from that union are used as a prayer reference.

Remember the harlot who saved the Israelites in Canaan / She was in the genealogy of Jesus Christ.

Remember the woman who ate her son, she was not condemned.