₦airaland Forum

chucky234:
Growing up that's what happend, lol

babyosisi:
I remember running into a woman at the teaching hospital while I was in my 5th year
Just passing by o,she stopped me and I thought it was a patient's relative looking for directions but instead she said nne please are you a student here
I said yes
She asked where my parents lived,I told her and she was so excited
Her hometown was closeby
She then Proceeded to tell me about her son in America that was returning for Christmas and looking for a wife
This was before cellphones
She gave me her family name,her village and even told me what day to come,23rd December
I politely promised her I will be there
Of course at that date I was in my village with my family

laykhorn:
a step forward. Indeed, a problem shared is half-solved.
I dont know where she is, I dont think I can face her. I also dont have her contact but when I get to my parents neighborhood, I'll try to get her contact. I'll also see a psychologist and seek spiritual help too. Do inform me when you start the thread.


I have to thank you sisters for your help. I should start coming around to this family section. I want to say an appreciable Thank You to y'all.
BTW, there is this amazing sister that once helped me on an issue but she no longer comes around here. I've tried to ask why but I guess she has made up her mind. Ivynwa is the username. She is one woman I admire so much for her help, guidance and advice.

babyosisi:
I had an assistant ( African American ) at work that told me that when she went to introduce her boyfriend to her father as an intended
Her father excused himself and went into his bedroom and came out with a gun and placed it on the table
The father proceeded to tell the suitor that he lost his beloved sister in the hands of her husband and if he dares lay a hand on his daughter,he will be looking down the barrel of that gun
I laughed so hard ,I thought it was extreme but that is how much men love their daughters
And every husband ought to know that you are very loved by your family and that they didn't throw you away when they gave you away in marriage.
That is very very essential
Every husband ought to get that picture
There is a level of respect he accords you when he knows he wasn't a life saver

babyosisi:
Maybe you should start a thread about how to overcome abuse or change an abuser or live within an abuse and share from experiences.
That is not the message in this one,that's why your message is not bring received.

prissyluv:
My dear,thanks for this.
He is the best fitting for me. If I am letting go,it is becos of my parents disaproval not becos of any scary faults. As you said,I might end up not seeing that my fitting. I am a bit complicated in nature and not all will know how to handle me.
He understands and cope well with my sex drive. My dear,I dont want to regret my actions later,each time I think of letting go,its tears all through and my mind keep telling me that I will regret it.
Thanks dear.

chucky234:
Growing up that's what happend, lol

buggaboo:
What do you do?

laykhorn:
how do you forget such things? My sister, its impossible to forget naa. The last time I saw her was in 2009 which is a while now. There is this wakward friction between us. I just avoided her as much as possible and I made sure we had nothing to do together but its not like that 'haunt' you know. I'm still not convinced its a spiritual or psychological ish.

prissyluv:
I applaud all the capable hands here. You guys are really doing a great job!

My own problem/headache/confusion/depression is tribe and parental consent. I must admit that I got lots of advice from snazzylove thread about intending couples and couples but more is needed esp in regards to my fears below.

On 14th feb,my dad told me that i should forget the idea that he will give his consent to me marrying a benin man. He said it is very very impossible for him to do so,that he wont even give his consent at a gun point but on the other hand if I decide to elope with him that I am clearly on my own.
In my heart,I know this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with but my parents actions are saying otherwise.

Now my fears and confusion:
1)If i leave this good man, how sure I am that another good and better men will come? And one who will treat me right. I believe there is a perfect fit/soul mate and there are good fits. Is this man your prefect fit? Only you could answer that. Prayers would work a lot of wonders For now, it is only your parents no (based on only tribe) that is the issue here. Men might come however my concern is the fitting.

2)When will that be? I found it also difficult to love. (my love goes off and on) I am also one who does not like sexual activities that much. Will I find that understanding man?Is your current man aware of your sex drive? Does he understand?

3)Wont I get to regret my actions of leaving a man I love becos of tribe in my later years? I am very impatience in nature, I am afraid I will pick the wrong guy down the lane. You will regret your actions especially if you do not get someone better later so you have to exhaust all options and be sure he is not for you before letting go... The choice of a martial partner requires a great deal of patience and knowing what you want. There is no room for impatience, error, or gra gra.

Herzumpther:
I will try.
Thanks ma'am, God bless.

prissyluv:
Herz,nawa oo.have you left the guy already?
Bukatyne,it is just the tribe issue. Dad has even refused to see him.
Stillfire,what sort of independent will I be?

laykhorn:
I think you have a point but I still dont get something here. If my brain serves me right, It was an awful experience; with all sort of dirty things but No penetration. I'm a very highly-strung person but I get over things in an unbelievably fast manner. Except I see her again, that memory rarely hunts me. I'm not convinced that its the cause but I'm giving it a benefit of doubt. What do you think I should do then?

MizTyna:
Lol! Abi?

Herzumpther:
My daddy is a very hard person when it comes to changing his decisions. The only person that changes his mind is my grandpa (His father). Right now grandpa is very sick and I doubt if he will be able to recognize me or hear me well. He is 136 Years old and hardly hears well these days plus his everyday sickness.

Mum has tried but for now no way. I also reported to his sisters but yet he is still standing his ground saying Yoruba's marry plenty and he doesn't want me to be maltreated.

laykhorn:
I think I'm starting to see a better picture but I dont think its still anyhow related. Yeah! Once abused by a neighbor about 10 years older but its been over 12 years now. I've gotten over that a long time ago and I dont even remember till this very moment you mentioned it.
I dont think its the cause.

Seun:
@Kachisbarbie: the time spent on writing all these 'big big grammars' would be better spent creating the threads that we are asking for.

Kachisbarbie:
In family section? Yes
In Romance section? Hell NO!! ...okay, some do...but a very negligible percentage.

Lols @second emboldened. That's the truth...I am a fusion of all @feminism/misogyny/misandry (in a ratio I am yet to determine...lol).

I can swing any way - depending on the topic @ hand. The only thing I am sure of is that I am an advocate of every sensible African and family value.


Hahaha...enjoy.
If that would make Romance section females form a Misandrist Alliance - so be it.

Herzumpther:
I met this guy 2 years ago and we started out as good friends. His mum is from Osun state and his dad from Lagos state. He is really nice and humble........I don't know how to describe him. At first I tot he was too good to be true because of the way he behaves...........at a point he took our friendship to another level and by then I already knew he was all I wanted, I was just waiting for him to poop the question lol. He didn't ask me out tho but made me his friend and we got so close that I became very comfortable with him and all of a sudden we just saw ourselves talking marriage and that was it. I told my dad in Jan last year that somebody was coming for me and he asked me from where, I told him Yoruba and he looked at me like...... Eh.....which part and I said Lagos. Daddy said "Herz just remove your mind from there, I will never allow you marry from the west and I won't give my blessings, the earlier you stop seeing him the better for everybody". I became emotionally down and started giving olalekan space. People still come for me and I misbehave along the line, some I just snub. Last year alone i turned down 9 suitors even tho I met another guy from awka and decided to go with him I still misbahaved but went back to him but it seems like it can never work because the communication is not there and I beg even before we see. I already decided to let him go because ......its not just working.

On the other hand the Yoruba guy still doesn't want to let go as he keeps saying I'm too different for him to let go and with me he feels inner peace. Me too my mind is kind of still there. Each time his parent visit Nigeria he will tell me they want to come but I just keep giving excuses.

Last week Saturday he called me to meet him up and pooped the question I was once longing to hear from him and as soon as I saw the ring I took to my heels, entered a bus to a destination I didn't even hear well all because it was the last seat just to run away. He came to Nigeria just for me as he shuttles Nigeria and America where his parent are based.

My problem now i can't seem to get him out of my system. Its weighing me down. I want to be happy again. Please help me. I misbehave and can't get a relationship going again. How do I stop thinking of him and be normal again??

striktlymi:
Lol!!!

Yeah I agree, all those are eye openers but the stories no be here...

Anways, make I continue to follow with one eye open.

laykhorn:
Uh! nothing really bad. They often have little quarrel that result from arguments but nothing ever serious. It doesnt last long and usually my Dad jokingly mentions it to us.

emusmith:
I've never had "bashing" in mind as I create threads about "SOME" or "MOST" Ladies.

They are simply true, though bitter.
Every one has some kind of soft spot, I believe.

If you read closely, I candidly respect and honour ladies a whole lot.

Don't feel insulted. Don't take life too serious, as a Lady NLer once told me that changed my perspective. Have fun and be cool.

Do you know? A girl's online character is equivalent to her real life character?
Some get angry and even UN follow you, others UNLIKE your pics, Some refuse to read your thread ...That's Just Who They Are In Real Life:

Unforgiving
Moody
Tired
Lack a spirited life
Boring
Lonely

Our threads are meant to put smiles on your faces. You know, you argue but with " Kid's Gloves"

SMH

Kachisbarbie:
FrancisTony has said it all.
NL ladies are mostly snitches and ....
Now, a guy creates a female bashing thread-8page and counting. Any female that drops contrary view, they would gang up on her like an anticipated prey. Such insult from a guy to a girl would garner uncountable likes , but lets turn it the other way round...and see how ladies would snitch on each other.

I can assure you that majority of those likes come from females...damn!
Though, I have never been one to create male bashing thread - no time for radarada. Except if you come for me directly - then I might be tempted to defend myself.

I am not a feminist, not because it's a wrong movement/cause but because its main context or concept has been stymied or thwarted as the case may be.

So, let the bashing continue.

edwife:
Disqualify in the context of being unfit to give advice concerning marriage .

Anyway it's all good.i have derailed the thread enough.

striktlymi:
I thought I was interested in it o but after the stories here I need to do a thorough evaluation of that interest. It's one thing to read about fictional stories and another to read true life stories.

Yeah...ultimately for me, God is all that matters but God won't come down to show me my spouse.

Mehn...marriage can be a pain in da butt if one makes the mistake of marrying a 'snake'.

laykhorn:
Oh! well, I may also need a little counselling. I dont see mine as a problem though.
.
I think I directly and indirectly shutdown myself emotionally and sexually. I have NEVER been attracted to anybody, at-least not in this lifetime . Although, I meet a lot of them; admirable ones, I rarely speak with and move with them, I'm very sociable and to some extent, I get a lot of attention from the female folks but I still don't get that chemistry. I prefer sitting on pins for a whole day to watching Telemundos and Bollywood fairy-tales, I cant even stand anything that has an element of show of affection. All my intimate friends, my cousins and everyone around thinks something is wrong with me but I dont think so. There are a lot of things I cant post on this forum that I have experienced from the female folks.
My mum -- who knows virtually everything that goes on in my life -- has tried numerous times to get me to talk about my romantic relationship always get a cold-heart and nothing in return. My neighbors think I'm gay for reasons known to them, My best friend is afraid I may not get married and even my cousins think If I was ever going to get married, It would be very very late In fact some others think its spiritual. May I also mention that I have this sobriquet "Robot". If I was ever to list my scale of preference, a relationship or even sex would be the one-thousand thing I want. OK! That was an exaggeration.
I dont see this as a problem but I also hope it doesnt leads to an upcoming one. I'm not impotent and I'm still very young in my early 20s.
.
babyosisi, EfemenaXY, moca, other Aunts and BigBrothers in the house, Tell me something

Herzumpther:
I'm just confuse and not happy within. I wish I can be happy.

edwife:
If she does that,that where i said i do not agree with most of her post but that does not make me judge her by some posts and automatically disqualify her.
Whenever she is in the wrong,one should try and address it and try to understand why is she thinking that way.....i see her also condemning some men....

Stillfire:
True, but the likelihood would decrease.

prissyluv:
I applaud all the capable hands here. You guys are really doing a great job!

My own problem/headache/confusion/depression is tribe and parental consent. I must admit that I got lots of advice from snazzylove thread about intending couples and couples but more is needed esp in regards to my fears below.

On 14th feb,my dad told me that i should forget the idea that he will give his consent to me marrying a benin man. He said it is very very impossible for him to do so,that he wont even give his consent at a gun point but on the other hand if I decide to elope with him that I am clearly on my own.
In my heart,I know this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with but my parents actions are saying otherwise.

Now my fears and confusion:
1)If i leave this good man,how sure I am that another good and better men will come? And one who will treat me right.
2)When will that be?I found it also difficult to love.(my love goes off and on) I am also one who does not like sexual activities that much. Will I find that understanding man?
3)Wont I get to regret my actions of leaving a man I love becos of tribe in my later years? I am very impatience in nature,I am afraid I will pick the wrong guy down the lane.

Chillisauce:
Like the case of keeping awake every night for the wandering d1ck husband to return before going to bed to avoid beating ?.

Anyways , life is that simple until you make it difficult. What is wwrong is wrong and what is right . No need sugar coating.