₦airaland Forum

Kingsasian:
excuse

babyosisi:
Gbam
Same here

Marriage is a partnership and with all partnerships there is an agreed contract written or implied
He keeps to his end of the bargain,you keep to yours
The same rules guide us all

babyosisi:
Gbam
Same here

Marriage is a partnership and with all partnerships there is an agreed contract written or implied
He keeps to his end of the bargain,you keep to yours
The same rules guide us all

sweetbaby22:
Cheating isn't something we anticipate in our relationships. We don't pray and wish for that. However, if something like that happens which isn't like its strange or rare. Please do not just abandon your marriage, same applies to guys who realized his wife cheated on him. As long as its not a life threatening situation of him turning you into his punching bag or her standing on the streets for men to pick her up to have sex with her (for guys).

If you leave this one claiming he cheated on me, who will you meet that will be a saint. My dear once you have said "I DO" you have to stay in it oh. Perhaps you didn't take the marriage vow seriously then.

There are so many ways of dealing with a cheating husband, that no one will tell him he will stop lols

Do you think because he is cheating he wont sleep with his wife, its your time to deal with him. Doesn't mean you wont show him love, still nurture him, give him food, pamper him. But that department make him sweat for it. Every woman is sexy, get sexy night ware, lovely sexy cloths, make him jealous... so many more.

Though if he has been winched or they swore for him that its inside woman virginal he will die. Abeg allow him to die there ....... lols. But give him chances before a drastic decision is taken.

P.S. I am not married yet but I plan to take my marriage vows seriously. I don't pray for a cheating husband but its going to be for better for worse. But if he can't control himself and hits me several times. I am not saying the first time I will run "NO". If it gets to an unbearable stage, I will park my bags oh, my life is more important than marriage lolsssss

To guys

Sleeping with different women can bring you BADLUCK
You don't know where you are sticking your thing, be careful and be wise.

cococandy:
Seduction is very much in line and if you're good at it,the NO response won't even come up in the first place because she's already in the mood.

So the seduction comes before the first ask

See even the man can't always be In the mood to make love to his wife all the time.
Her seduction puts him in the mood.

And that is the actual asking.

Or how do you intend to do your own asking?

"Mama nkechi, the time has come for sex. Shall we proceed to the bedroom?"

coogar:
which yeye sweetness?
so making a guy beg, dance, sing & do cartwheels before sėx does not take away the sweetness from him? what a selfish statement!



if yussuf wants it, he should get it.



this coming from you is a bit rich.
are you not part of the crew that preaches a woman's no is no? if she says no from the first ask, why should the man ask again?



marriage is a union of 2 individuals.
they must both want the sėx at the same time. if he wants it & she doesn't want it, he should respect her wishes & vice versa. anything beyond this is tantamount to marital räpe.

women cannot continue to deceive humanity that no means no & no can sometimes be yes if he tries harder. you guys should choose one side. this is exactly the reason some guys persist & this is also why marital räpe is rife in most marriages.

dein77:
Good evening, my able people. I initially wanted to post this thread on RELIGION section, but on a second thought, I considered it will make more sense to post it here. The issues to be discussed cut across FAMILY and RELIGION, hence my confusion over which section it should be posted.

My wife's been having recurrent nightmares. Seriously, she hardly have a smooth night. Its all screams and screams, and incessant dreams of death hovering around us. We have prayed and fasted, but the dreams keep coming. Whenever I'm on night shift, I'm also worried about her safety back home. Its either she dreams of our kids having serious attacks or herself being under attacks. Its really challenging.

A few weeks ago, we visited a pastor, and after some discussions he suggested we should relocate to another apartment/place. I pretended like I didnt hear him. When we got home, my wife brought the issue up again and I told her we werent going anywhere. I told her we should continue praying and believe God to see us through. We've been in our current apartment for a little over 5 years. Now she says shes no longer comfortable with the house and that we must relocate. Honestly, she hardly enjoys the place. Whether or not it got anything to do with what our pastor told us, I couldnt tell.

Today, she brought it up again. She had gone to see her business colleague, and according to her they zoomed off into religious stuff, and the issue of our house and the bad dreams came up. Of course, her pastor friend also suggested we relocate. A little argument came up and i had to leave the house. I'm typing from the office; night duty things.

My stand is this: being a Christian over a decade, plus knowing the fact relocating to a new place may not necessarily stop the attacks, I still believe we should ask some of our pastors to come over to our house and join us in prayer. I believe a Christian shouldnt run from demonic attacks, but should instead fight back and withstand these foes. Its my belief shaa!

I just renewed our rent for the year a few days ago. But my wife is still insisting we relocate. Her health and happiness, needless to say, is very important to the both of us, and I dont want to appear insensitive and selfish. What should I do? What if she is right? Should I stand my ground? What if I'm wrong? Too many thoughts crossing my mind. That will be the third place we will be relocating to within our axis.

Whats the best way to handle this situation? Please, I will appreciate all meaningful suggestions and advice....

Thanks, in advance.

Ujujoan:
Madam Osisi, please permit me to chip in here . . . I want to talk about this to address some ladies who may be wondering if they are with the right person.

Growing up, I was the mills and boon reading type. I believed your heart had to stop anytime you thought of your husband to be, for him to be the right person. So I dated guys who made my heart stop . . . And yes, I had wonderful relationships, but i ended up marrying neither of them.

I may not be an expert on marriages because mine is just going on 4 years and is certainly NOT Eldorado. . . but from the little I have seen, marriage is not Mills and Boons . . . Infact, it is quite the opposite.

You have to WORK on your marriage to make it work . . .


When I was ready to get married, I went on my knees and prayed. I prayed because like most young women searching for 'the one', I was very very confused. I needed to know who the right person was . . . . and God led me to my husband.

You need to understand that my husband wasn't even on 'the list' . . . he didn't make my heart stop. I didn't love him 'desperately' . . . he just wasn't my choice. But he was God's choice for me . . and for that singular reason, I married him. He was a friend, someone I had known for a long long time with no romantic interest towards. Of course like most guys who came my way, he asked me out when we met (for quite a long time), but I turned him down and we eventually settled into a comfortable friendship. . .

He didn't get down on his knees to propose. He didn't promise me the world and everything in it . . in fact he proposed in an off-hand manner . . 'why don't we get married'? (. . And I think a part of me resented that). I never got the show-stopping proposal I have always dreamt off.

But you see, all my life I have trusted God to make major decisions for me. . . and I have never been dis-appointed. So when he brought my husband my way, I had no choice. And no I wasn't 'thrilled' about it . . but I trusted God.

I have to admit, there were days in my marriage when I wondered if I have been misled. Days I was so convinced I mis-understood God's plans for me . . . Days I was ready to just up and leave . . . There was no fire, none of all that romance I read about and I just knew I was in the wrong marriage. Even though I married a good man, I wasn't really happy because I didn't get the mills and boons romance I always dreamt of.

Untill, I learnt to accept this man who God has given me for who he truly is. To let go of the 'dream' I longed for all my life. Not concentrate on the negatives, but celebrate the positives. And gradually, things turned around in our marriage. Gradually, those things I longed for started coming with no effort on my part to make them come . . The fire I thought was not there was only been covered up by my unrealistic expectations . . . and when I let things come naturally, it grew from a tiny flicker to a burning flame.

Because beyond the romance, who else would live with me and love me in this way . . . even after seeing me at my very worst? Who else would look beyond my imperfections and love me just the way I am. Who else would stand by me, despite all odds . . and say I love you, even when I am at my worst?

And just like magic, the bitterness is gone. The quarrels, the fights, the anger. And in it's place a love so strong that all I think of is how to make him smile. On Val's day . . for the first time in 4 years, I got on my knees thanked God for this man he sent my way.

Unconditional love, patience, forgiveness . . . . and above all, trust in God is the key to a happy home.

Mikwus:
That's the point..............they are all compatible when it comes to the genotype(I really feel blessed) and they don't mind settling with me...........another point is 90% of them are people who know me down to my home, and have been friends with me for a long time too

FOREXMART:
Preach!!!!!!!!!!, Word, hard truth. (got banned, this is my alternate moniker). There are four phases in the life of most ladies.
1 Shakara phase (18-24 years). Here the lady just wants to have fun and not ready to take any man serious. I find it very hard to flow with these age brackets cos when ur talking future and something serious they busy talking kim kardashian and telemundo.

2. I think i know what I want (25-29]. Here she is testing the waters but not ready to bear any man's name, just switching guys like she on the freeway switching lanes. Only few escape from these phase of utter dilemma into marriage.

3 werey phase aka "put a ring on it right now am behind schedule"(30-34). Here her body is speaking, she's vulnerable to the bad azz players cos she desperate and her mates are on the second or third issue. At this point u see em join ministries in church where they can be noticed like choir, ushering and greeters department for advertisement.

4 Oh lord have Mercy/I don't need any damn man (35-............). Self explanatory, soup don sour so they on clearance sales,80%offf, at this point even if a he goat purposes she will accept.

God bless the wise sisters who got their eureka moment in the second phase and may God grant the heart desires of sisters in the third phase.

bisiswag:
If marriage is dz difficult,then y do women who have been married for so long glamourize and make it seem like happily ever after? Suffice to say,women are the greatest pretenders and it will do us good never to throw our "so called marital bliss" into other women's faces.

Enoquin:
Babyosisi, cococandy, efe, bukatyne, mutter and the rest. What a calming thread. I have enjoyed it. The only people missing are debrief, aisha2, chaircover and Jennykadry

Justfollowit:
The kids lives are more important than her life. It is this kind of marriages that breed psychopaths and sociopaths. If she is a good mum, there is no reason why she cannot rear them alone. Her children will grow up fine to become responsible citizens.

It takes a man with a small mind to beat his wife and a woman with a smaller mind to endure it.

sweetbaby22:
Not really, No marriage is all sweet. There are good times, bad times, sweet times, in between times. There are challenges all the time good and bad. It takes a lot of patient to manage a marriage. Good times don't last, neither do bad times. You just have to stand the test of time. I tell you even marriage of 50 years break up (very strange) but it happens.

So perseverance is the key. To be able to bear each other and over look a lot of things. A woman that stands with her husband whether he cheated or not is a strong woman and the marriage will last for eternity (e.g David Beckham & Victoria Beckham).

These days divorce have spoilt relationships, what happened to for better for worse, till death do us part. People go into marriage with the mentality that if he just misbehave or cheat I am so divorcing ASAP. Its crazy how divorce is more now, no one wants to stand the test of time. Same applies to men, that just cant stick to one woman. But if they put you in their house as wife, then you are the ultimate. If he cheats he will come back. when he comes home and you aggravate the issue by nagging and not giving him breathing space. Then he goes out for good.

In such situation comfort him, make him feel bad for what he is doing cleverly. Do not call the lady, else you are defeated. Claim your husband by showing him more love than ever and then cleverly bring the issue up, if it get tensed change the topic but don't relent. Bring it up another time until it sinks in, prevent massive quarrels.

Marriage is an institution you can never graduate from, we pray for a blissful one, IJN. AMEN!!!!!

moca:
It turn some women on.
Infact most women.
U r in a marriage prone to disaster if u can't lure ur woman into doing it.
What is wrong with this people?
R they real?
Smh.

BuddhaPalm:
Even if you decide to share $10,000 to all residents of a given city, everyone will not show up to collect it.

Some will procrastinate, some won't hear about it and some others will think it's peanuts.

How do you think poll statistics are obtained? A subset of the larger population is polled...

Heck, even academic journals speak with so much authority after conducting tests on a few hundred persons.

No matter in what shade it comes, the #1 masculine attribute that elicits a sexual response from women is DOMINANCE.

Timbuktou:
I don't think people understand what it means to sell a hundred million copies of a book in this day and age. Not forgetting that it was poorly written, as in, the grammar was atrocious, plot was wayward, charaterisation thoroughly rudimentary.

This book should not have sold ten copies for its faults, but no, tens of millions of women saw past its literary failings and went on to procure and consume anyway. Now we get a clown trying to tell us the book isn't set in reality. It may be a fantasy but, that speaks about what reality people really want, doesn't it? If they could get it, they would go for it. And if it seemed like they could, they'd move heaven and earth to have that experience.

A word should be enough....

Timbuktou:
Women are a confused bunch. The book this movie was adapted from has sold over 100 million copies worldwide and has been translated into over 50 languages. The book was mostly bought by women, about 90% .

The OP does not speak for women worldwide. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to condemn it. Stop the hypocrisy.

Creamish:
STFU!! U dis arrant nonsenstical mama of a billion newts!



*now adjusting goggles*

Creamish:
Im rily finding it extreeeemely difficult to see the difference btw wat u just said and what i said...

Herzumpther:
This thread will be the perfect thread to post my wedding pictures.

Kimoni:
But do the owners of the real life issues on this thread really want their personal details on FP? I don't think so

Sunshinny:
My marriage is 1 year and 4 months old. We didn't kiss or sleep together before we got marriage. I remember I told him I wanted to his private part so as to be sure he is a man.

When our wedding got closer, I began to have sexual feelings for him to the point that I will become wet when we sit close. He wasn't left out too. I became happy because I rarely have feelings for guys.

When we got married, I found out he doesn't know how to kiss or even make love. [he was a virgin]
I kept on managing. What's annoying me the most is that sometimes he just wants to do and go, no pre-intimacy. When I became 5 months pregnant, we couldn't have sex again, he didn't know how to come in. A friend of mine explained to me how we can do it and I explained to him, yet no show. Instead, he would be complaining that my tummy is disturbing him and promised that when I give birth he will show me pepper.

Out of annoyance, I told him I will never advice my sisters to marry a Virgin.

Now, I have given birth, it's still the same. I have never got to orgasm since we got married. The other day, I told him I will not allow him to touch me again until he learns how to fondles the womanliness. I said so because he injured me there. You know how soft that thing is.

Any time I'm complaining, his reply will be it's my fault not his. I'm beginning to think maybe I don't love after all. In fact in short our sex life is zero. I really don't know what to do again..

@babyosisi
EfemenaXY

Creamish:
.....atleast ur getting to know his tots...hez not hiding it... he'd most likely cheat on u with someone whoz better endowed... Hez d type u dont take too seriously. Save urself d heartache.


Im hoping derz sth about u dat he'd skip bigger b00bs for...else, change lanes sis.

missclassy:
I don't understand why guys always drool over a woman that has big bosoms.

Yesterday, my boyfriend made a comment that really annoyed me. He told me that he wished my bosoms were bigger. I felt very bad hearing him say that but I just hid my annoyance
My bosoms are not that big but I have a nice body and a pretty face

Must a woman's mammary gland have to be big before she can look pretty?
Does having big bosoms add to the beauty of a woman?

Evina:
Thank you I hope item 7 will be made available?

I think the earlier we develop the right attitude as women, the better. I mean, if a single woman has all of these, she will attract the right kind of man and will also be courageous enough to sieve the man from the boys

It is more work if she has already gotten a man based on her undeveloped character. Because, as she is evolving, she would also expect the man to. Except she is lucky to have nabbed a great guy, inspite of her limitations.

ihedinobi2:
Lol. I'm romantic, ehn? I think all men have it in them. It's just a hassle generally. Hehehe

Amen o. Thank you. And thanks for liking me. I like you too. Me wife tormentor ke? How? I just plan to give her six kids and talk her ears off at night and serene her off-key on occasion. That can't be all that bad, can it?

Eya. So sorry about that. I'm sure he'll make it up to you if he hasn't already.

Lol. That wasn't one of the morals nau. Even in those days, proxy marriages were not the norm. You're the one gonna live with the person, you want to make sure it's someone you want to do life with. You only do proxy if you trust someone else's judgment at least as much as you trust your own.

Will do.

Hope you're having a cool day today.