₦airaland Forum

Onegai:
You will get bored in marriage if you don't make a concious decision to NOT GET BORED.

You must never compare your wife to anyone in real life or the bible. (That Proverbs 31 woman had a wonderful husband whom you are not like).

you must not keep wanting to fix your husband. I swear, he doesn't want you to fix him, he wants you to make him a better him (a better Tunde, a better Uche, a better Adamu, not a Tunde who was turned into Kola).

Both of you are always wrong in a fight. So it is not "he said, she said", you are both wrong. All the time.

No-one will know if you knelt down to apologise to your wife/husband in private, in order to settle a fight, unless you tell them. So put your ego aside.

Find something nice to say to your spouse every day, find a joke to share with your spouse daily, find time to touch your spouse (caress their head, kiss their hand/cheek, tickle them) daily.

Hahahahahaa

I heard to laugh!

Every nice post

MizMyColi:
Lol
@Emboldened, Is anything wrong with my observation?

Yes, again you've made a wise observation.
"The woman was wise and applied tact"

There's a lesson to be learned there.

When they come back to you, biko.........bone shakara and take them in.
SHMG.

Women are naturally apt at playing the victim.
It is good we're learning everyday.

Guys don't like to hear that and are not willing to 'change' publicly

@Women playing victim... they have been that for long anyways

MizMyColi:
Yup.

Standards, stereotypes.

I like the part where you said "quickly retraced his steps"

Some men, especially those of african descent would wrestle with their conscience and give themselves more reasons why their mama Nkechi doesn't deserve their loving anymore.
Instead of looking inwards and trying to make themselves better in terms of self-improvement despite their partner, they're quick to blame their failures on the woman. She always mostly at fault. They're the men, so they can't be wrong, never

@bold: I no dey

They are sanitly

The guy is a good man and loves his wife... I guess the 'settlement' into marriage did them (I hope he does not cheat because I would withdraw my accolades )

The wife too is loving and quickly switched to loving as the guy retraced his steps...

She did not start forming power or victim

obowunmi:
Why do Nigerian think that the woman who accommodates their cheating behavior is the right woman for them?

Lols!

MizMyColi:
I've read this story before.

But reading it again just struck a chord.
Why do I feel like crying this early monday morning biko kwanum?

Yes, he left wifey and went out there. That guy has one quality I desire above everything in the man I'd marry.

His Selflessness and non-obnoxious nature.

SHMG.

The husband was willing to quickly retrace his steps

Good one and beautiful story

For some reasons, we have this vision of what married people must and must not do...

They are yearning to live up to the standard while groaning underneath and eventually doing those same stuffs with other people

Weird

richyblink1:
Amen! And yours too

Amen

livingstone2013:
I want to use the money (50k) to publish a book. I have contacted a good printing press in shomolu. And the printer agree to publish 200 copies of the book at 250 per copy. I intend to sell the book at #1,000 per book to target audience. if all goes well as planned, I should make good profit and re-invest into printing more. the book is a guide on a unique lucrative business.

@OP,

I would advise you do not divulge your business plans online (edit this post if possible)... You do not have the capital available; do not let people steal your ideas and use them.

Even if someone offers to assist, please be very careful before discussing your plans.

If you have thought about the business well and have understudied or learnt the basic ropes from someone, you can sell your TV and Phone.

If you succeed, beautiful

If you don't you are not loosing much

God be with you

charles009:
Hey guys,

I got married to my wife last December, we have been living happily. But last night, events took a bitter twist. She woke me up 2.09am today and started raining abuses on me. Be for I could talk, she smashed my phone on the floor.

The question is why is she angry? She read an exchange of sms between me and a certain girl. I stead of her asking questions, she went extreme.

I don't visit her phones and I expect her to do the same. Am still asking how she managed to get the password.

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Now I ask?? Is it right for her to breach my privacy and get into my phone?

I would say OP that you are not ready for marriage...

Now that is settled, wifey should not left the house in anger.

If you do not 'allow' her into 'your' house anymore, you are actually doing her a great service; what good is a potential cheating husband

The moment you said I do to her, you gave up the right of shameful chats so sorry she did not 'breach' your 'privacy'

I am sure she will be back; when she does, sort out your disagreement as adults and behave as married people.

Goodluck

ifyalways:
Lolx. You and your colleagues eee. No boring moment.

It is more important to be happy than to be right. . .
Marriage taught me that. Fvck being morally,religiously correct/right, whatever makes me happy,I hold tight.

Very true

Lots of people are frustrated because they are trying to do it the way it 'should' be done.

Here to read comments

There is a difference between crushing on celebs or passerbys you probably would never meet and crushing on your acquintances

Admiring and complimenting beautiful acquintances is part of normal relationships

richyblink1:
My dear, it was difficult at first but thank God I applied wisdom.

Initially I was bothered on how she is going to flow with my folks, siblings and neighbours because she barely want to raise any topic of discussion and is not willing to contribute either. But when I realise her environment and up bringing shaped her that way, had no other option than following her gently.

The following steps helped.

1. I paid attention to find out things that intrigues her and ensure I equally get involve or show interest in them. At first it was difficult because she is someone who will hardly even want to tell you what she wants, likes or need.
For instance she is not keen to seeing movies or really pay attention to gadgets etc. But at the same time she love watching TELEMUNDO. So I had to start following the series (Lola, my heart beats for Lola, where is Elisa etc). By so doing I will pretend not knowing the acts so she can fill me in thereby creating an atmosphere for discussion.

2. She is good with animals and their various specie's. So whenever we are home I will intentionally tune Natgeo-wild and pretend I am interested in knowing their various species which will make her open up and start teaching me. By so doing discussion will follow.

3. She is not comfortable with crowd, so I reduced the number of people visiting the house so as to create a conducive environment for her to feel free and discuss with me.

4. Haven noticed she likes Oscar (Chelsea's soccer star) I always ensure she is aware when Chelsea is playing and ensure we don't just talk about just Oscar, but other players which will lead to more topic of discussion.

5. Since she dislikes going out (staying indoor is her best form of relaxing) I will always use her love for SUYA to lure her out. And there is no way we will not interact while strolling to get SUYA.

It is just a personal thing. Once you are committed to making your union a happy, fulfilling, fun filled and interesting one. You will go extra mile to making your partner feel at home.

Wow!

Perfect

God bless your home

richyblink1:
My dear it is not strange at all, people are created differently.

Could remember having same issue with my better half till we realised we are wired to respond to issues and discussions in a particular way.

Just understand his type of person and pattern of discussion, you will be amazed how interesting you will find him.

Yours is even better, how will you classify a core introvert who barely associates with people except me.

She is not on Facebook. (She has never facebooked her entire life).
She does not keep friends (not even a best friend).
I forced her to start pinging just last year (she actually have just 4 people on her bbm contact list). Her sisters, my elder sis and me. I bet she has never said hi to my sis before on bbm because I actually added my sis pin on her device.
No one has ever come visiting her except during my birthday party (just one of her colleagues).
She has never dialled my mom or dad's line before.
I am her bestfriend, friend, husband etc.

My dear, just understand your hubby, there are other side of him you must find consoling.

A very nice post

Please drop tips on how you were able to communicate with your wife; the OP seems like an outgoing person

@OP, this is also very helpful...

If no prior issues, just imagine your hubby to be the male version of this poster's wife.

Islie:
Someone becomes rude when he doesn't acknowledge the headship position
Someone becomes rude when she believes she there is a role reversal and she can't take words, advice and line of actions from you

Am sure you understand role reversal but you just winning me.
When the wife wants to take the headship from the husband

Ok, you are right

Islie:
When you have nothing to live for, then you have everything to die for!

The fact that it keeps happening shows that the men are not all suddenly going mad.



Those are some examples
When you want to take over the head ship of the family,
When you can use your mouth and ego to underline is headship
When you believe there is nothing he can do

You are leaving me more confused...

The quoted post is that of a rude wife (again subject to interpretation because I do not think a rude person would easily take to corrections)

Are you implying that rudeness is the characteristics of the 'head'? Was she behaving like the 'head'?

Interesting how male posters are 'team natural'

What's there to team about

You are not the one birthing the baby.

@OP, sure you got very nice answers

@contributors, thanks

izaray:
My hubby says, he now sees me as his sister, wat is that suppose to mean?
Does it mean, am no longer attractive to him or wat?

@OP,

Do the below and give us feedback

jmoore:
The first person you should have asked this question is your husband. His answer will give us more insight on why he sees you as a sister.

LordReed:
My computer was frustrating me

HerexG:
They have been married for two years with kids and still counting

Two year + kids = 'happily' married

Don't we all love marriage mathematics in Nigeria?

Hahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahhaaha!

Kilode?

So OP, did you receive your billionaire husband?

fuzzywuzzy:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! What a bunch of wierdos!

And what is weird in that

OP,

You have been told by all...

Get another story to buttress your points; this one was dead on arrival!

I would not be surprised if he married the second woman after 6mths (when he should have been married to the 1st woman)

[quote author=LordReed post=30627316][/quote]

You could type that yourself

Chillisauce:
Eating right.

After morning exercise, drink about 1 or 2 cups of water( it's actually easier to practice this when you exercise than when you just woke up). Bath, then a quick breakfast. The exercise plan will come later.

A standard three meal plan followed. Breakfast, try making it light, always tea or coffee to go with maybe baked egg and bread. Stop eating noodles, fried yam, fried plantain, etc except you are doing a menial job. Trust me, you don't need those extra calories .
I rarely do Orange juice in the mornings. My tea is enough liquid to keep going. Any other heavy breaki keeps you dull through out the day, except weekends, you might try oat meal, or other favorite.

Noon, eat whatever you like but in proportion. veggies and meat is about 70% of total meal, while carbo makes about the remaining 30%. For soft drink, take water or juice. Coke sometimes but just half a glass.

Coffee at end of meal to keep you awake .

Dinner, serve healthy meal. Try diff veggies, ugu, spinach, beans , unriped plantain . Just remember to serve in portion. Make a routine of eating with your complete cutlery on the table. you consume less when you eat with cutlery and people than when you sit and eat in front of the Tele.



To be cont. Bed time. ,

Thanks Chilli for the tips

I know I am dragging this thread 15pages backwards

ileobatojo:
The guy in the story appreciated his traditional wedding so much that he promptly moved on like a single guy and did a church wedding with another woman.

I swear very stupid story

@OP:

Depends on the man

HerexG:
Check from Genesis to Revelation there is never a place where you will see the so called White wedding written and how it should be practiced, the bible only told us to marry and consult the parents which we always do traditionally

And the fact you believe an adulterer's marriage to a dump lady is 'happy' shows your definition of happy

HerexG:
Appreciate your traditional wedding and let's stop the gullibility of regarding the Europeanize wedding (white more)

How many people do not appreciate their traditional wedding?

Not everybody believes in White wedding however they are not fool.ish enough to start the process of white wedding and dump it halfway

Don't people even court normally? White wedding or no?

HerexG:
You think marriage is all bed of roses ait ?

What is the moral of your story?

ileobatojo:
Lol!

All na happily married.

For Naija na...

Once you are married, you are happily married

Sophyrocks:
Even a woman who is battered and cheated on by her husband will say she is happily married. Only Nigerians abuse that phrase.

When I hear happily married from Nigerians, I check well x2

ileobatojo:
I agree about the sensationalism bit but I think lord reed was addressing some of those pros.

Ok