₦airaland Forum

donroxy:
Anu re nshemi ?

Nitori?

slimyem:
Absolutely nothing.
i just wouldn't want to be treated like an invalid because i'm menstruating . Maybe i shouldn't have used the word "spoiled"

Ok then

freshdude2:
Hi, not home yet?

Got home around 6:50pm, made dinner for my baby.

Did not respond because there was no light and I will have to use my phone which I was avoiding initially

5minsmadness:
U r creating a mountain out of a mole hill.
U asked me a question. I quoted u in reply.
I'm not looking for quarrel.
I'm not lashing out at anyone.
I just feel its high time we discussed the matter instead of quoting 'textbook replies' like freshdude rightly said.

You should have started from the bolded

I am looking for quarrel either. I did not even know he/she was missing

freshdude2:
1. You sure bout that ma'am? I for one tend to avoid violence majorly because of reprisals. I'm apprehensive of grudge-holding people.

2. Well, that's not necessarily wrong. The thing is treat the disease not the symptoms. Here's what I mean:
Case One: Couple have an argument, it gets heated and before you know it, wife slaps hubby, hubby slaps wife. Note this is the first occurence of violence in the marriage. However, from that point on, during any heated argument hubby becomes first aggressor. He's tasted blood nd decides he likes it. What is to be done?
Case Two: Couple have arguments which always end in wifey tongue-lashing hubby. Hubby has endured this for years and in year four of marriage he has reached his endurance limit and as argument ensues wife goes about normal routine except hubby doesn't let her climax he ends it with a punch to her lips to stop "hurting" words coming from them. Again, what is to be done?
Case Three: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion not rude, not discourteous. Hubby slaps/punches/head-butts/etc wifey. What is to be done?
Case Four: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion rude/contentious/confrontational/etc. What is to be done?

I await.

Case 1: It shows the husband has not forgiven the wife or/and always had the streak of violence in him. The man is still a violent person in my books and should be treated as an abusive spouse. I will say separation till the husband changes

Case 2: The husband's punch was a result of accumulated hurt and I can relate with him. I really see no problem in this because the wife will probably stop lashing hubby. They both apologize and the wife learn the lesson that hurting hubby with her mouth has consequences

Case 3: Separation till the husband changes

Case 4: Same as case 3. Saying the husband is a psychopath means it does not matter if the wife is rude or not

Kanwulia:
Very easy to get a husband.
Keeping one is the problem.
After marriage, MOST MEN become ALBATROSSES, "GUANTANAMO GAYS" or at best . . . . "CROSSES OF CALVARY"!!!!

Why it is so, I am yet to decipher

I will say some though

Interesting article

Finding your love in the university/when young is very sweet. it is less work and no 'this is how we do things' because you both are growing.

Men, like sweet

You should see men like a box of sweets. Some men are sweet inside out, some are sweet only on the outside with a sour interior and some are terrible all through. Some are soft on the outside with a tough interior, some have a hard case but are jelly on the inside, and some are hard nuts, difficult to crack and perhaps best avoided.

@bold, very true

5minsmadness:
This is the third time as far as am aware that this thread is coming up. Before anybody can say anything 'they' will come and start yapping:
He's a beast
He's a bastard
Its not cool to hit a woman.


We know all these things. What we want to find out is why they do it because whether we like it or not they do it. Let's find the reason it is done even though we don't agree with it, then maybe we can find a solution. Shikena.

If you have a problem with they, Biko call them out for them to answer.

Don't quote a post directed at me to lash your them

Thanks

slimyem:
That would be spoiling her. It is no disease. It shouldn't stop anyone from going about their normal duties.

Is there anything wrong with a man spoiling his gf /wife?

5minsmadness:
^^^^^@freshdude dem neva still answer u? Na to dey type anybody that does that is a beast, anybody that does that is an animal dem sabi.

Who are the 'them '?

If you are curious for the answer, call the 'them' from their homes to answer

freshdude2:
1. You sure bout that ma'am? I for one tend to avoid violence majorly because of reprisals. I'm apprehensive of grudge-holding people.

2. Well, that's not necessarily wrong. The thing is treat the disease not the symptoms. Here's what I mean:
Case One: Couple have an argument, it gets heated and before you know it, wife slaps hubby, hubby slaps wife. Note this is the first occurence of violence in the marriage. However, from that point on, during any heated argument hubby becomes first aggressor. He's tasted blood nd decides he likes it. What is to be done?
Case Two: Couple have arguments which always end in wifey tongue-lashing hubby. Hubby has endured this for years and in year four of marriage he has reached his endurance limit and as argument ensues wife goes about normal routine except hubby doesn't let her climax he ends it with a punch to her lips to stop "hurting" words coming from them. Again, what is to be done?
Case Three: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion not rude, not discourteous. Hubby slaps/punches/head-butts/etc wifey. What is to be done?
Case Four: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion rude/contentious/confrontational/etc. What is to be done?

I await.

Just seeing this; will respond when I get home

DaBullIT:
No spoil song for the owner. Where you see Latin kekere ? No be only Latin na French

It did not occur to you that it was a typo?

The keyboards I use have auto correct features

freshdude2:
It works for the limited of mind, which most abusers are. But it has also been known to backfire. A woman did this at my former neighbourhood and the guy set up the BIL, he assumed he'd come again and he did. Of course, Mr. Husband had his own plans and BIL got more than he bargained for. Of course, it became police issue and all of husband, wife and BIL were blamed and were eventually told to go and settle "family matter".

Like someone said earlier, be safe and let the change occur from afar. Better safe than sorry.

They are exceptions

I don't dig the pray and wear sex.y underwear advice sha

AlienSPY:
Don't you think its a sick idea for a woman to invite her siblings to beat up the husband?

That action will naturally set the precedent for divorce and an unhappy relation. Remember marriage in Africa involve both families and the hatred that will ensue afterwards amongst them will be unprecedented.

The best bet a wife sibling can do is to shout, warn, threaten or possibly take away her sister with him but resorting to fight me is fooolishness.

It is foolishness to you but not to those it has helped. Strangely, I am yet to hear of 'hatred' that developed as a result.

I wonder what your definition of unhappy marriage is if a physically abusive marriage is not yet unhappy.

May God grant the survivors the fortitude to bear the loss

The world has lost a gem

englishmart:
Mmm mmm mmm !clears throat.
Now let me tell you a story. There was this friend of mine who got married 2years ago. Her husband beats the fvck outta her at every slight altercation. She kept telling me. I was really sorry for her. I advised her to report the incident to her parents. But she blatantly refused. (I couldn't go farther than that)
One fateful day her brother who was a bouncer in one night club in the Texas arrived.. If you See this guy eh! He is nearly 7ft tall. He has up to 18 packs.
One day he decided to visit his sister, then he meet the bastard beating her up .
I need not tell you what happened thereafter...
But that the last time the mad man every bullied his wife.

This method usually works wonders.

I have never heard of any man given this treatment who doesn't immediately get cured

So the affected person should try this first. If it does not work, please take a temporary hike.

Icherishu:
Women are the worst enemy of themselves. A friend and I were pregnant and she was due after me. She lost that baby because her mother and her MIL insisted that she shouldn't do CS. The baby was distress and died before delivery. Yet it was CS that was used to bring the baby out. Now she has a second baby, it is still CS she used.

This mindset has killed women since 1914. I have a cuz that won't be caught doing it. I always tell her to pray not to have a high risk pregnancy. I remember what she told me when she came to my bedside after my CS, she said she was angry with me for agreeing to do CS. I almost walked her out but on a second thought I rem my boy and I let it slide.

Come to think of it my baby was distress o and that was the last resort. My contractions has stopped and I had been stooling for more than 12 hours. So what should I have done? I tell anyone who cares to listen that my faith hasn't reach that. If it comes again I will gladly accept. After all safe delivery is mother and child alive.

What about your friend's husband?

IT is wel

@OP:

Sorry, Pele udo Lol!

While I support what you did, please apologize if your conscience tells you to. Just apologize generally for interfering in their marriage and never step foot in that house and forget that your elder sister is existing.

Also start separating yourself from your mother's belief system else she might ruin your life.


Next time, use a pestle so that the apoplogy is worth it.

Mintayo:
Ladies envious of other ladies,smh.
After reading the first two pages,i atleast know the ladies that non-virgins,lol.
I believe her story,i believe in the supernatural and spirituality.
The guy might not be a virgin when she met him since he was not a "christain" when they met.
I am happy for her,i pray her home become stronger and better and that the good Lord that have started something sweet in her life will perfect it to the shame of those hoping that in 2-5yrs time,her home might break up.

This could happen to anybody as far as the person has given his or her life to Christ and believe that He can be of help martially.

A repented prostitute can have the same thing if she believes same with an armed robber. We have Rahab in the Old Testament for reference.

There are a lot of lessons to learn from this story however some people have turned it in vir,gin,ity crusade for women only as usual.

Guys should learn that they can and should abstain too. Promoting only female virginity is an exercise in futility.

God cannot be mocked; we cannot sow hypocrisy as a society and hope to reap righteousness

And yes, the husband might have been a virgin. The last I remembered, Islam promotes sex.ual purity in their men and women before marriage

crackhaus:
Lol...it's indeed in the market. Unfortunately, gullible folks still trust their pastor's interpretations more than any.

The other day it was how one pastor refused to join some couple because the lady didn't dress to his specification, not like she even exposed too much.

I'm like why make a big deal out of it? Just say the darn words and get it over with - 30minutes tops, if looking at the bride too long is what will lead him to hell...Lol.

Lol!

crackhaus:
That's another problem with the way these churches are run.

Why have so many branches and lose track of themselves?
If they have to open so much, then they should have one officially recognized 'Tenets of Faith' that all the branches/splinters adhere to.

They do
The headquarters pass down the doctrines of the church, it is the choice of others to follow

Kimoni:
Then he should tell me the parish naa, cuz personally, I know Redeeem has no such doctrine. Any pastor in Redeem that preaches that C/S is a sin should be reported.

Kimoni to binu

Kimoni:
OP, pls dont forget to provide the name of the church and if possible location. People have to be informed to steer clear of such places.

Lol!

What if it is a Redeemed Church and it is just one branch?

Will you tell your folks to avoid RCCG all together?

crackhaus:
Hmmmm, that's a lot of churches.

I just have a problem with pastors/churches that have some kind of crazy doctrine/belief - I feel they take advantage of too many people using the Bible as an excuse.

Well Christians have the duty of studying the Bible for themselves. It is available in the market Lol!

Most pastors talk from their experience, perception to life, how they get God's inspiration and their belief system.

Not everything they say is law and we need God's Spirit to help us interpret. For example, respect your husband means different things to different people.

dein77:
Thanks for the reply.

You are welcome

Kimoni:
Thnks. I actually saw it but I was hoping you would expatiate further. I think it has less to do with pastors/churches and more with individual application of what is preached. You and I might hear the same message on faith, you get home and based on this faith message, you decide to stop taking drugs while I get home, develop a headache and the first thing I do is to take pain killers.

The pastor never said we shouldnt take drugs oo neither is it a church policy yet, two members of the same church now have different beliefs about taking drugs. #my opinion

The Post said a pastor told the woman...

Look at it this way: if a woman tells her pastor that the doctors said she has to do CS, what will be his response?

I agree that individual faith also come into play here. If my pastor says 'don't go to hospital/take drugs, I can pastor just pray that the treatment will be successful because I believe in it.

God also has different covenant with people and the fact He told A that she will not do Cs or use drugs does not mean it applies to B.

Kimoni:
Or you mean individual beliefs...cuz if not, I am also interested in the churches where these pastors preach.

See my response to crackhaus

bukatyne:
Not all
RCCG has over 2,000 branches in Nigeria with different pastors who believe different things and have different level of exposure. Add Deeper Life, MFM, Winner's Chapel, Christ Embassy etc. into the mix.
What matters to pastor A might not matter to pastor B.
Even churches with one parish have different pastors to cater for all her members.

@Topic: I rarely feel pain or cramps but when I do, I pass out especially after hubby prays for me and I regain consciousness / wake up fine . (Happened about 4times I can remember )

Mood swing: rarely happens.

On the whole, my periods are drama free

@OP:

It is not common in my side.

I guess it is couples who are not interested in getting married in the church

crackhaus:
I presume the individual pastors have a church they run, don't they?

Not all

RCCG has over 2,000 branches in Nigeria with different pastors who believe different things and have different level of exposure. Add Deeper Life, MFM, Winner's Chapel, Christ Embassy etc. into the mix.

What matters to pastor A might not matter to pastor B.

Even churches with one parish have different pastors to cater for all her members.

May God grant you and family the fortitude to bear the loss

Please ensure to carry on all she stood for

Religious people need a lot of liberation.

@Crackhaus: It is not church per se but individual pastors.