₦airaland Forum

Tallesty1:
Things will never get better if we should treat them from a Christian perspective.

No bring church into this............

Tell me something!

But you believe wives must submit to their husbands and husbands are the heads of their homes which is a 'Christian perspective'

Eating your cake and having it?

I hope not!

doofanc:
Nice idea behind the thread, but let us take head to state the scrpitures exactly as it is.

Craukhuas already highlighted some inconsistencies, so no point discussing them again.

However, consider this:

Eph 5:21 and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord,
Eph 5:23 because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body.
Eph 5:24 But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.


Does the Church merely seek "consent and not permission" from Christ, or does the former do exactly as they are told. Something tells me Paul knew what he was talking about when he decided to use such a powerful comparison, The Church and Christ, to describe the union between man and wife.

That of course does not make the wife slave or robot, just as the Church is not a slave. But the message there is crystal clear. Any attempt at embellishment or watering down to soothe "gender correctness" of any form is ungodly.

The bottom line is the scriptures does not always go down well with the flesh; it takes the Holy Spirit to understand and heed, meekly, the treasures therein. May The HOLY GHOST grant us better understanding of His Word. Amen.

Stay blessed!

Hi, welcome to the thread

Will deal with the issues raised tomorrow

Yet to see the inconsistences though and surprised that you both seem fixated on the submission aspect.

Good night

mcdokwe:
I had to follow you all the way down here because I currently cannot reply to comments on the family section. Now listen, I have seen your type here who feel the liberty to say anything under the cover of the internet equals to the liberty to insult anyone, anyhow. I am not one to take such insults, I see posts I don't like, but I don't waste my precious time expressing frustrations on issues I tell myself is not my business, I advice you learn to do likewise. I have the right to say what I want, how I want it and it should be clear to you that your wretched person can't stop me. I know you have a very fulfilled life, just live it and don't let something that shouldn't ordinarily bother you take you to the path where such would messed up. F. O. O. L

Bros

I will appreciate if you can modify or delete your post

Thank you as you do so

bukatyne:
@bolded, could hook up with mine

@striked, opportunities spring up everywhere

Second wifey ke? Tufiakwa!

Yours' and Bellong's e-values and views are not so common. It makes moi realize there is still hope for the Nigerian man. Another is Salt 1. I might not have noticed some other male posters.

E-values because in real world, you all might be pounding your wives

I don't agree with all your views though

Sorry for derailing the thread.

It is so much fun reading my posts from yesteryears

@nashville, hope you are preparing for our birthday

Long time no see/read

ihedinobi2:
If the fact that she had sexuäl partners before we got married can make me livid, we can safely assume that there'll be hell to pay if she cheats.

As far as I'm concerned, a woman's body is like the Temple in Jerusalem and her you-know-what is the Holy of Holies. And there cannot be two high priests in this matter.

Me fa, I respectfully limit my ministry to one temple. Too bad about my past but my future is spoken for.

If you a Christian that should educate the world is saying this, then all hope is lost

Thankfully, during the OT when it seemed women were worthless, God'a puniahment was equal for the adulterous men and women.

In the NT, we were told that our bodies was the temple of the Holy Spirit without been gender specific, then I do not get the women are more 'honorable, templelike etc'

@OP:

Jesus Christ that paid for us with His blood sef did not see it as a justification to do as He likes

It is all good

Some men wanting to eat and have their cake back since 1700

A man is now a senseless loose amoral dog who cannot keep his d.ick in his pants

Yet the same man will claim to be
the head of his family
superior to women amongst others.


It is well

Thank God all men do not reason like this

pickabeau1:
Yes BUT t takes time for the inner man to eat meat..

Second point that is ideal but situations happen
Meetings, poor network etc

One should trust the best of his partner. When we see we will discuss.
However these are exceptional situations



I agree with you on people using scriptures for an agenda but it is not unique to Nigerians which is my point.

Whites used Bible to justify enslavement of blacks - curse of Noah

The Nigerians are special

I believe Christians should build their inner man before contemplating marriage

pickabeau1:
OK...I responded to u...and was awaiting ur. Comments Or thoughts

Why must u think its a about argument?

My apologies

I will go back to check; I must have missed it

I was referring to crackhaus

HASSANAASIA:
I made 30 looks good bruv

You really look good

[quote author=shizzle11 post=26942464][/quote]And what is the lies you smell?

You said yourself that guys must check out sex.y ladies

A lady has said she does not mind because she sees it as a normal stuff and yet you smell lies?

pickabeau1:
Seems d op Has deserted her thread

I have not deserted my thread however, I will not be drawn into roundabout arguements. That is why I made it clear that it is from a Christian POV

When other posters post, I will engage them and if you have anything to add, will be happy to discuss with you.

ad84ada:
Everyone abeg, but wait, if a woman wants equality, must it be in stupid things like sleeping around?

I expect the same thing from everyone

So you know men sleeping around is st.upid?

No, equality in sleeping around is fool.ishn.ess

I would rather hold men and women to the same level of morals

Meggy007:
When I see issues like this I begin to wonder what dating/courtship is all bout. I mean if people will team up (for the right reasons) yu'll know yur partners spending habit while yur dating.

For instance yur with a girl who never gets yu anything on specials days or ordinarily and yu as a man complains but she doesn't budge and yu go ahead and marry her. Then don't friggin complain when it she keeps her earnings to herself as yur wife!(Model 1)

Yur good to your man,get him stuffs when necessary,show him you care in more ways than one,which probably he appreciates, but he never sees reasons with you on serious issues yu both thrash out, una come marry, ehn, swallow yur cross and endure when he appreciates yur money but not yur brains(model 2)

Or yur that girl who your man refuses your gifts or any monetary assistance yu give to him(yu go dey think say na lobe and be blushing from ear to ear at that time and be bragging to yur friends how yur man don't let yur fEet touch the ground)una come marry, then he works his butt half dead to keep his family going insisting yu keep yur money, just STFU and carry yur burden!!!(Model 3)

Yuv got brains ladies and gents,use it when picking your man or woman for life,and above all PUT GOD FIRST in dating and after

Ps:greatgod2012 lady and d one who's got loving parents after 50yrs, you both DOPE.
CHEERY SHOUTOUT to my momma who's the pillar of me crib todei.you're my inspiration! And dad,me love you plenty too.

Courtship is now eating ice cream and going to the beach

ocelot2006:
Point of correction, Marriage is NOT a partnership.

What is it then?

Debonair01:
It beats me a times how marriage has become so broken and everyone trying to make it scientific. I paint another scenario, one which i am very conversant with.

My dad and mum both were working, but no formulae was used for anything (per say), Granted, my dad takes care of the MAIN responsibilities, and my mum the minor ones but these roles were easily interchangeable whenever the need arose.

Pops pays our fees, gives us some upkeep money, Mums usually gives us additional money for other frivolities (clothes, shoes.. just playing around money). In them of house hold stuff, my dad would usually buy the bulk food (bags of rice, beans, yam), but my mum takes care of most additives and fruits and the likes. Some months, moms wld go out and buy the bulk foods (looking back now, she is usually very excited when ever she does, maybe because of exra money she just made or just the joy of buying them) and other times my dad comes home with the food additives. Clothings, each buy for themselves and for one another. (mums real did like buying for my my dad tho).

DECISIONS WERE ALWAYS TAKEN TOGETHER, with few exceptions where apologies are made and efforts to make it up, like my dad buying my mum a gift to apologise or my mum preparing a special delicacy

WHAT IS MY POINT

As much as it might sound quite idealistic, but if my parents could do it for almost 50yrs, any sincere couple can. Just do things sincerely for one another, contribute when you can. and this includes even house chores. it surprises me when pple talk about whose responsibility it is to do what; the answer is.. its both yours, Just do them with joy and love.

ps: i remember when my dad started a building project, and all house hold purchases went to my mum, even our fees a times. But even then, She would contribute some to the building and He some to house. There was no clear cut lines.

All hope is really not lost

greatgod2012:
It's obvious and unfortunate that many don't really understand what marriage is all about.
Marriage is all about partnership, teamwork, in everything, every aspect and every area in love, understanding and empathy.
Marriage is not about one-man battalion, it's about two people working as one in every area that involves their marriage and lives.
If, as wife, you really love your husband, with understanding and empathy, you will realise that it's "unmarriage"(formed by me) to saddle your husband with all the financial responsibilities, apart from the fact that it isn't good for his health, it shows that you yourself aint committed to being teamed up with your husband, (selfishness)which sooner than later, may brings up unhealthy marital relationship to spring up.

Similarly, if, as a husband, if you really love your wife and see her as part of you, you will involve her in every decision to be taken at home, and in your life, when it comes to household matters, you will know that you're both one and act accordingly. You will see her as part of you that mustn't be neglected or abandoned.
At the end of the day, both parties enjoy their commitment towards each other and peace reigns absolutely.

Nice one too

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED


*modified*
See them mentioning me.
if your wife can't participate in decision making, then why marrying her?? Does anyone need to tell you to involve your wife in decision making when the effects of those decisions are going to be borne by both of you? If you think taking decisions alone in your home makes you a man, then I only but pity your wife who's irrelevant in her own home.

btw, why are you men not disputing my first point??

Nice one

Hope.you do not mind the mention?

ad84ada:
Theres no point in taking this personal. I am not yet married but I am faithful to the person am dating. Cheating is a no no as far as am concerned. Men should be equally honourable but whether you like it or not. Much is expected of a woman. DaVinci and other great men acknowledged the awesome nature of a woman. Why soil it because one useless man messed up.

Who expects much from a woman?

okotv:
am sure you are enjoying your marriage... keep on enjoying joor

Thanks dear

tintingz:
1. they should set an agreement that the man will not take another wife.

...but that doesn't guarantee a happy marriage anyway.

2. divorce is an option.

And wifey no 2 is the key to martial bliss

Very nice thread

I am not happy though that a lot of people think the stuffs they did are crazy; the problem is that it was with the wrong people. When done with the right people, love sweet and we will do more than these

Ok stuffs I have done/still do and will continue to do

Share toothbrush/shaving stick/towels
Share sweets &chewing gum
Wait for him before eating
shave for him
Completely trust him
Daydreaming about him till I pass my busstop amongst others

jayjagz:
that is a very good question. I raised the question as well in one of my papers in that the law seems to be a decoration. But the question is this: "how many woman have claimed their right in court?" like you said, they believe in long suffering and pain endurance. The court is not a father Christmas and obviously, everyday is not christmas. Therefore, you can't be given what you've not asked for. Concerning inheritance, I believe "we" men are just being unreasonable because the issue of inheritance is also an effect of marriage; if you know you don't want a woman to inherit your property then don't marry her. It's as simple as that but it's visible even to the blind that most men just want to play on the woman's intelligence, use her and go searching for a fresh meat. I stand to be corrected, over 90% of marital problems are caused by men!!! We just use the issue of property or inheritance as a cover-up.

Lol! @ 90%

I will be kind enough to say 70% of problems in marriages are caused by men

70% of problems in relationships are caused by women

sean079:
U can't understand until U found ursef in men's position. Sex stares U in d face everytime except ure a different breed will make U not to compromise ur stand. Infidelity in men can only be prevented for a while but can't b avoided. Ask all dos mog

An sex stares at women's backs?

Or women do not turned on or tempted?

Bros, there is abolutely no excuse to cheat.


Worst case scenario, if your girl is cheating, end the relationship.

ad84ada:
They are, but when compared to mothers.

Mothers are more honorable than fathers?

Is this another lie coined by the menfolk to keep women in bondage?

I mean 'I am less honorable so I can f.u.ck every skirt' thingy?

Just saying you lack morals and godless would do the job faster.

Your wife would also know to keep the kids from you (Nobody wants less honorable kids and you cannot give what you don't have)

tintingz:
Yes.

Humor me

If a man wants to marry wifey 2 and wifey 1 says no, what does the man do?

sean079:
Bros U ain't lying is even 10 out of 10 coz am living example. I can't believe I'll cheat on my fiance , I can't imagine dat happening to me. Even d girl in questions would be telling me am cheating on my girl n I always feel my conscience is stabbing me. How I wish ladies will understand how men were created by the creator

Your creator created you to be loose sex.ually?

He must be the Nigerian creator

And where did you get that it is a woman's duty to hold the home?

A man of integrity must not be found with cheating and others

enkay4love:
[color=#990000][/color]. I totally disagree with u on this.So have u forgoten that it is a woman's role to hold the homefront together?even the Bible says so.Don't u realise that,there are certain things women cannot & must not compete with,with men? & such are cheating & physical strength.A man could cheat & no one raises an eye brow in this part of the world(naija),but if a woman does,she becomes a sacrilege.I know of a lady that was cheating right under her spouse's roof just becos he was cheating at her back,on discovery of this,she was shamefully thrown out by him,& made sure he usurped certain assets they got together & actually dissolved the marriage in court,& when it came to this unpleasant stage,the pros that encouraged her to indulge in the cheating game to get back at him, all turned agaiñst her & gave her a dirty name,u see what am talking about….

ad84ada:
I bet you. It will feel more confortable when a child sees his/her dads babe than his/her mums guy. Women are mothers and mothers are honourable. Think about this. Even sex happens inside the woman. Haba.

So fathers are not honorable?

Ok o!

Na you talk am

tomatoJos:
I have a little working experience,and I already have a ready network. That's why I would rather marry someone with capital and drive. He wants me to be a civil servant.

Thanks for the response

Did he tell you clearly that he wants you to be a civil servant/a wife that is a civil servant or are you just assuming that is what he wants?

@salary, less than hundred is not much however you both will survive. This again depends on your area. 80k in Ibadan or Ilorin is different from 80k in Lagos or Abuja. Again, 80K in Lekki is different from 80K in Mushin (both in Lagos)

cococandy:
Vex ke.
Well I'm just feeling for the wife sha.
She won't know whether to deal with grief or the betrayal.

But....
Imagine a woman went to tryst with her lover and died on the way.
Them hypocrites will be here dancing on her grave.

Nay. That's way too serious.
Imagine a aoman wanted to go to a friend's wedding which her husband did not approve of and then died on the way back.

We'll be hearing all kind of bible quotations now with the attendant 20pages of venting.

They won't come out and condem evil now that is staring them in the face.

You don't know they are 'men'?

Cococandy, stop it

tomatoJos:
Thank you all for your contributions,but I feel I didn't properly Express myself. What I mean by am fast and articulating is that I have big realizable dreams. While he really doesn't like to dream out of his box. His income is fine for a bachelor but I know once we get married it wouldn't do. And he wants to get married next year. And i have younger siblings to take care of.

How much does he earn?

A range will be fine

tomatoJos:
Good evening,am relatively new on nairaland but I need advice on a pressing life issue. I have been dating a guy for about 8 months now,I know he feels strongly for me and wants to take the relationship further,yesterday he asked me if I wanted the Bella naija sort of wedding. He is thirty three and works in the bank as a marketer,living a comfortable life as a bachelor. I really like him too but I know we don't match in terms of drive. He is the slow and steady person and I am the quick and articulating spec. I intend starting something of my own after school but he thinks I should just get a job and chill. He is an amazing person but I know if I later stick with him I will be in for a life of under achievement. He is living well,a car,a good house,lots of amazing gadgets and all. But am thinking long term success. Am really confused,I don't want temporary emotion to control a permanent decision. And I don't want to lose a good guy.

Hi OP

You intend doing domething of your own but he thinks you should get a job and chill

What do you want to do? Do you have a plan, source of capital, ready or developing market or is it a typical pipedream of 'I want to start something'?

Have you asked him what he means by get a job and chill... Is he saying work first to understand the corporate world and learn stuffs to apply to your business or is he saying do not start business at all?

Working for someone doesnot mean underacheiving; Afteral, Late Dora did not own NAFDAC, Ngozi doesn't own world bank, Omotola doesn't own nollywood etc.


PLease respond to my questions