₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:


Why did you abandon your thread after my question?

Imagine me arguing polygamy with an alfa? or discussing law with a doctor?

crackhaus:
First of all, our forefathers didn't cheat because it would be hard getting a woman to cheat with when they're not married to her or at least, made their intention known to her family...women had more dignity and morals back then.

Secondly, the majority of women in the days of our forefathers were not fat. They were mostly average sized to slim with the exception of those who were fat due to genetics.
I guess you know why right? Farming, trading, trekking long distances, and of course, no fast foods

If you doubt it, go look up photos of your grandparents....

Ok

Poznan:
In all honesty, it is notan easy battle to be chaste in marriage. I have a pretty wife and a very cute son, and i can say in all honesty that i have been under situations that could have made me do it. But i had tofight it. My marriage meant i hadto stick to my wife. She may not be the best sex partner, she may be odd in bed, perhaps, but i have a commitment to her and i wish to see it out.

I don't claim to be a saint. No. Jah knows i am not. But the truth is, single and married, chastity is a virtue. And in my little experience, sometimes, the girls seem to go for married men, they know u are married, yet they still want u. Beats me! I wish all of us, men and women, live up to our marital dedication. Hebrews 13:4- 'Let marriage be honourable among all and the marriage bed be without defilement for God will judge fornicators and adulterers'. So the point is, one act of extra-marital sex, defiles the marriage bed.

God bless you my brother and help you uphold the vows

BABE3:
what has spirit of God got to do with putting in work in your marraige? What's with the idealistic nonsense with you people? Where do you think this is? Utopia? Disney land?



Who ever said staying fit and attractive is enough? Don't be so simple minded. Putting in work doesn't gurantee succes, but it increses the chance of success. There are many moving parts in marraige. Fitness and attraction are just of two of many, but they are every important when it comes to the sexuãl life of a couple. Good sëx is important. Good and regular sëx decreases the chance of infidelity.

Neglect those two at your own peril.



the forefathers didn't cheat on their fat wives; instead, they wifed up a fresh and curvy 'opeke'.

Nigerian wives looking fit? Since when? Bukatyne stop the jokes abeg.

You are not in Nigeria and by magic, you know that all Nigerian wives are not fit?

My point is that the forefathers did not need to use fat as boju boju; they cheated when they wanted and married extra wives and besides, fat or plump was the in thing then

I apologize engaging you without knowing your beliefs; since you do not know the correlation between spirit of God and putting work in marriage

It is well

iykedare:
Because? Because she told some truth. You women hate the truth

What truth?

That a man or woman can cheat on his/her spouse because they are not fit?

Ma binu

Carry go

BABE3:
Let me follow this logic; I won't go to school to get an education; afterall, dangote and co were drop outs.


I won't stay fit and attractive for my spouse; afterall, he may still cheat if I'm fit and attractive.

Women keeping fit or men being trim is outside the scope of this thread. Like the OP implied, it is for many that has the spirit of God working in them

Anybody that thinks looking fit and co is enough to keep a randy man/woman in check, carry go.

Those who have the spirit of God will discern the OP and work towards it.

Nigerian wives have been looking fit now more than ever and I never heard our forefathers cheat on their wives because they were fat. Like Acidosis said, if you cheat, just do; no need for long turnechi.

Farouksenior:
Bottom Line : add the fEar of God. [most dudes nd babes claim Godfearing durin courtship but after marriage...kabooom!!!!]

Honestly that is the koko

Infact, people who do not have the fear of God shouldnot bother with church/court wedding.Go for trad and be fine.

If you jknow that size matters after when he or she adds, you will cheat, do trad.

BABE3:
It's like it's a law for Nigerian women to add at least 20 kg after marraige. Have you seen Dakore Egbuson lately?
It's also a law for them to switch to tieing wrappers.

How do we except married men not to cheat biko?
How hard is it to control your appearance and what you put in your mouth....

You know, I am sometimes tempted to think you are not a lady.

What of ladies who are fit, good in bed and gives husbby regularly and the men still cheat?

Like the OP clearly stated, if a person cannot stick to his/her vows, don't bother

DesChyko:
That is what most women fail to understand. That owning a penis is never an easy task.
On many occasions, the penis shortcircuits common sense and acts on its own accord. Incidences of rape, g.ay, mast.urbation, e.t.c. are proofs that the males aren't all that refined.
After all, beneath all that 'higher intelligence' and 'speech ability', we are animals and all animals have that primal need.

You are kidding right?

beeevan:
..like bukatyne said, men like you organized these programs, they always assume they know what women want.


Are those banners for real?

You dey mind coogar?

I am sure he pastors one of those churches

Happy sunday

okotv:
in other words, cheating a married partner is wrong but sleeping around can be tolerated as long as you are not married

You know that is not what we are saying

Everybody has the freewill to sleep around or not and nobody including God can take it away

However, you take a vow to be faithful to spouse and you are expected to keep it. If you can't, please don't bother and keep playing the field

P.S.: The rightness or not of sleeping around is outside the scope of this thread

greatgod2012:
thank you my sister.
Anyone who can't keep to his/her marital vow but desire to have kids can achieve it without necessarily committing him/herself to any vow.
For men, they can achieve their desire through surrogacy and for women, they can achieve it through anonimous sper*m donation........and every one is happy without causing anybody the heartache of infidelity.

It is well

coogar:
let's look at the facts, shall we?

https://dsaved.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/wpid-IMG_671044154713589.jpeg

[img]http://1.bp..com/-GiOnhAp8Ot4/UdVh7QknLLI/AAAAAAAAnSg/msHtF3iJodE/s400/churchposter3.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.247naija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/wpid-Photo+of+the+day.jpeg[/img]


https://dsaved.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/wpid-Bonanza1.jpg

beeevan, there's more to come.......

But emm bros,

It is men organizing these programs na

@OP: Mrs Jegede was clearly not engaged.

If the prof was posted to the US, will she board the next flight? But again, she knows the husband she married and she might need to put a leash on it.

And has done it again! very nice thread

I also wonder

Children out of wedlock are not as stigmatized as before so I don't know why he/she cannot have one or two kids and keep sleeping around

In my opinion, Saka and Osuofia are in different areas and it is comparing apples & oranges

I would place Nkem and Odunlade in the same class/area. They are naturally funny and not comedians. Saka is more of a comedian like Mr. Ibu

In the spirit of the thread, Osuofia is better to me

I find Mr. Ibu, dejo, baba suwe etc. acts very disgusting and avoid their films. I am indifferent to Saka and would avoid his film if possible

SeaGold:
The bible stated that's enough reason for divorce

You funny o!

What do you advise a woman to do if she catches her hubby cheating?

SeaGold:
Our ladies should unsubscribe gender equality

Women should also adopt bible teaching on marriage

@sophyrocks...should we discontinued the old belief of staying married and getting old together, then divorce should be encouraged as a norm in the emerging new world.

Like I said, no one is perfect so it's possible a woman will have 5 husbands in her life time and this is totally unacceptable and unwise if religion should factor in.

LOL!

Women are always the cause

Khalessi:
You're teasing the side chick but you're at home while She spends most of the nights with your man.
I told my husband I don't want to be the "main chick" I wanna be the ONLY "chick".

Sweet

The side kick enjoys the husband better than the main chicken sef

Let them keep deceiving themselves

MsNas:
As in, Nigerians never cease to amaze me. Like damn? How do some of us reason like a skunk like this?

I think there is something wrong with the black race which is only cured by coming close to God

onila:
the girl is a typical of-emanu B1tch

fcck the whor.e with her bitchiness!

of-emanu and their trouble, tufia!

You just had to revert to default settings right?

Not surprised.

If you cannot cope with the existence of Yoruba women, hug a wet transformer.

cococandy:
Mistake?

You mean the child fell into their luggage with birth certificate intact and they unknowingly ferried her to nigeria?

Don't support bad thing because you know the family involved. The girl has people who know her too. If everyone starts by saying " I know this family let me side them",
then justice can't be done.

Why will someone seperate a 2yr old from her mother?

He's the father and should have a part in her life too. Which is why a fair court should try and decide for them instead of one person going about it the wrong way.

You know how a man's d.i.c.k can fall mistakenly into a woman's p.

Mistakes do happen.

I mean 5 months of metriculous planning sorry mistake. The girl mistakingly fell into grandma's suitcase, grandma mistakingly took her to the airport and boarded her flight.

It is the devil don shift to 'mistake'

It is well

cococandy:
Smh for some comments here

Honestly, I wonder the stuff some people are made of.

A lady gets pregnant and loverboy tells her abort. She proceeded to have the baby for reasons known to her and 2yrs later, the grandma comes to kidnap the baby and some people are saying 'according to our culture/africa, a man & woman owns a baby so the man can do what he likes with him/her'

Sincerely, I am sometimed tempted to think that whites have a different brain from blacks.

theripper3:
Some women are just too "Godly" or submissive to a fault, say women like our mother's era but this present crop of Blackberry babes and Brazilian hair go use mouth finish the man sef, the house go b like ghost town to am sef.

U no dey hear words like " u no see the new car tade buy for him wife" ?
How many hours u wan sleep in a day sef?
Ogechi go spend summer for "rondon" o, na him husband sponsor the whole trip.
I dey suffer too much for dis house sef, na 2 pple work I carry for head, na me first marry?

Hahahahahahaahhha

She is carrying two people's load if she had to go to work and still do house chores when her husband is at home.

Godmystrength:
But if wasn't earning than you and she tells you the same thing would you still be wondering what it means? or what would you have attributed it to?


Apart from the fear that the woman will no longer be submissive when she starts earning than the husband, the other problem is THE MAN. Every little thing that happens in the house will be seen as a result of the woman's high earnings. If she tells her hubby one day that she is tired and can't cook, the husband will say it's not her fault since she is making more money. If they are having an argument on what to do with some money and the husband's suggestion is not taken, he will say it is because she is the one making more money. Somethings that will happen normally and they would have settled amicably will be tied to the woman acting up because she is earning more money. Some women start working on egg shells once they start earning more than their husbands because they won't be able to be their real selves any more. They have to be pretending and over conscious of everything they do or say.

Also some men that have not been fair to their wives when they were the ones making money will be afraid that it's going to be pay back time...because it will only take the grace of God for such woman not to pay back. Some men can oppress their wives with their money, they know the kind of satisfaction they derive from knowing that their wives can't do much without them. Imagine a man who believe that the only way to punish his wife when he is offended is to stop dropping money at home for things to be done until the woman begs and begs and begs and now all of a sudden, his money is no longer relevant in the house. Its just as if you have stripped him of ALL HIS POWER/AUTHORITY and the same men will be afraid of same treatment.

The same way MONEY POWER intoxicate MEN, it can/will also intoxicate WOMEN too. They are just human beings.
A once HUMBLE POOR MAN can/may/will turn to a PROUD RICH MAN overnight. why?

I just had to quote you

Honestly, the major problem are the men. Imagine someone saying he will become a slave by taking his kids to school and doing chores at home

Some of them maltreated their wives and are afraid of pay back when the wife makes it. A lot of them has tied headship to earning power and so start to misinterprete all actions

Instead of them to be happy and let life continue

I wonder why some men see everything as a competition and ego contest.

Nigerian wives, pele.

jaybee3:
Funny how you failed to spot an unhealthy "competitive spirit" in his submission.

Would he eventually get frustrated if he isn't able to par or rise above the income of the wife?
Would that eventually lead to some sort of jealousy in the long run?

Funny how women fail to analyse the important aspects when choosing a life partner

LOL!

Very very true

That dude will make his wife's life miserable if she earns more for a long period of time

Human beings have the nack of seeing what they want to see and hearing what they want to hear

netotse:
@Bukatyne
Dont most females have two rings? one for engagement and the main one you exchange on the wedding day na abi another one dey?

I'm not a fan of social media and the likes so anything flashy is out of the question, for me it should be a private and intimate something...which one come be all the paparazzi that people now form these days? even all these story that people put on bella naija and the likes sey dem dey give them money ni?

As a colleague who recently got married used to joke that he'd rather give the babe all the money he was spending than go through all that stress...lol

You give her one during the traditional ceremony and you both exchange the second one in church

I want to assume the 'engagement' ring under consideration is the one you will use to propose to her

Some people use the ring used to propose as an engagement ring also

pickabeau1:
That much is self evident

So will Some Nigerian wives not have any issue standing with their man or supporting their family

so whats the point of the discussion

Is zboyd recommending we marry foreign wives

The author of the article is saying that she/he does not understand the reason why Nigerian men married to foreign wives treat them way better than they would treat their Nigerian wives

RoyalRoy:
The engagement ring is something you should buy at your discretion. At least the girl "is not supposed to know before hand" that you wanna propose. So why should she be "choosing" the quality and price range of her engagement ring?

I know what my girl is worth, I know what I am worth... I will do what is right by me...not what the world thinks.

LOL!

RoyalRoy don vex

I have heard some ladies now tell their guys the kind of the ring they want and the preferred jeweler

If the engagement ring is what I think it is, then I do not know why a lot should be spent on it.

I don't even know where mine is anymore. ( Maybe lost in transit)

netotse:
Chairmen dem...maximum hailings!

you guys should come and help me o...what is the purpose of a proposal? is it not to tell a girl you want to marry her ni? do I necessarily have to buy a ring and go down on one knee? what if I have arthritis nko?

If you ask me, once you determine that you're willing to spend the rest of your life with someone and communicate same to the person, you're as good as engaged, or am I missing something?

One of my lunatic friends said you should spend 3 months salary on engagement ring (the joker is obviously not close to getting married...lol). If you see as my mind just dey do the maths as im dey misyarn ehn...smh.

I no be chairman but chairlady

Even you talk engagement ring, do you mean the ring to be worn till the wedding day (i.e. getting a new set for the wedding) or the engagement ring will double as one of the rings for the wedding?

As for your lady, it depends on what tickles her fancy; if she wants a proposal, buy an inexpensive ring, throw it in her cup of wine at an eatery/ hire police to do roadblock/take her to sambisa forest and propose on one knee. In case of arthritis; lie down instead In essence, learn what she wants and do something to fit into your pocket.

Still waiting on answer on the purpose of the ring

doofanc:
Nice idea behind the thread, but let us take head to state the scrpitures exactly as it is.

Craukhuas already highlighted some inconsistencies, so no point discussing them again.

However, consider this:

Eph 5:21 and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord,
Eph 5:23 because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body.
Eph 5:24 But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.


Does the Church merely seek "consent and not permission" from Christ, or does the former do exactly as they are told. Something tells me Paul knew what he was talking about when he decided to use such a powerful comparison, The Church and Christ, to describe the union between man and wife.

That of course does not make the wife slave or robot, just as the Church is not a slave. But the message there is crystal clear. Any attempt at embellishment or watering down to soothe "gender correctness" of any form is ungodly.

The bottom line is the scriptures does not always go down well with the flesh; it takes the Holy Spirit to understand and heed, meekly, the treasures therein. May The HOLY GHOST grant us better understanding of His Word. Amen.

Stay blessed!

I promised to treat this, sorry it is coming late

If I was treating from gender correctness, I would have not opened the tread. We submit to Christ in everything (even though in reality, nobody can claim to do) however, we still eat, wear, drink, go, do things as we like when we like as far as it is not a sin. I am sure you did not pray to God before posting on this thread; the only thing you ensured was that your posts glorify God. Jesus does not tell you what to eat, where to go (except He wants to send you on a special assignment) etc. and yet you are to submit to Him in all things.

I do not think a woman should seek her husband's permission before helping her family (Again, I am assuming the home is built on godly principles where there is openness and oneness so she will not think of giving her parents money when they are yet to pay their house rent etc.). As a preference, I go for joint account/accountability where a budget is run on the joint income and so the two are in the know of each other's needs. I however realize that not all families run joint account/accountability that was why I gave that example.

I am coming from a very practical standpoint and not just mouthing the theory.

God bless too

cococandy:
Pls you guys should stop all these lies. Who are you decieving?
A man goes out to sleep with other women outside and you believe that he can still treat his woman like a goddess. Are you for real?

Some men will forget their families because of a mistressm some will deny their families luxuries because they want to cater for a mistress first.
Some men have wives driving an old merc 190 but will buy new RAV4 for the mistress,take her dubai for shopping etcetera but his kids are under cared for.

Some don't even take the well being of their kkids into consideration that much whenever they begin to see a new mistress who turns their brain the other angle.

What makes you think men don't fall in love with their mistresses? That's so naïve. They do. All the time. To the point that his family becomes second in his list of priority.

As much as you guys like to say sex Is just physical for men,I've seen families ruined by affairs the men had. Once they begin seeing the other woman,nothing else matters.


Pls stop spreading lies

Omalicha,

You get time. These days, I just drop my POV and move on (in some cases un-follow the thread till I see a mention)

Is it not a few days back a lady started a thread on a cheating husband who told his wife and kids to enter public transport while he picked up his mistress and her family?

Men have not abandoned their families and run off with their lovers

Let them keep deceiving themselves

'It is physical, it is spiritual, it is emotional etc.' na them sabi

Imagine Op telling me that Bible does not solve everything but it will most definitely solve the headship of men and submission of wives.