₦airaland Forum

sholay2011: Happy birthday sis. Longlife and prosperity oo. Your best is yet to come. Enjoy your day.

Thank you so much.

Amen and to you too

bellong: Nashville and Bukatyne,


As you both celebrate today, may you be filled with joy, peace, wisdom and fulfillment. I pray that you will be a shinning example for your generations.


Happy Birthday...

Thank you so much.

Amen and to you too

Thank you God for adding a year to my life and giving me more opportunity to inspire my generation.

HBD bukatyne! It is well with you, the best for you is yet to come!

HBD Nashville! God will increase you in wisdom and strength to defend the brethren! Lol! Regards to your family.

Wittywizard: IF SHE IS A CHEAP SLUT THAT MEANS YOU ARE AN EXPENSIVE SLUT...... Eeewuuu...

I will assume you are trying to be witty today else your post has no correlation with mine

EnlightenedSoul: There's a HUGE difference between a Feminazi and a Feminist. The feminist movement was extremely necessary at the time of its birth, and in some cases/places it still is!

What can I say?

God bless you.

Like I told the OP earlier, a nazi anti-feminist is the same as a feminazi.

They are both extremes

@OP:

Should a parent stay at home or should a mother stay at home?

Two different questions

demelza: They have both come a loooong way and deserve every goddamn thing they are presently enjoying.
This most definitely is love.


Congrats guyz

If you can excuse the multiple cheating

ignis: There is absolutely nothing wrong with the dressing....
I do dress likevthat most times...

If true, please change.

She looks like a cheap slut

youngds: Bro don't act like a mitch here, won't you be ashamed if you and your gf is pushing a car, and beside what help would it bring, girls are weaker sex and it won't hurt to be a gentleman rather than nigga-raw-shitt, that's the problem with niger-guys, you take things too serious............

And what is the shame that a girl is helping her man push his car considering the fact that they were both in it together?
How would they bound well if they feel shame helping one another?

Guitarlife: and you couldn't gimme a like huh ? Lol.
Now go back and do the needful.

Yes daddy! lol

The needful done!

pickabeau1: I like the bolded...

Unfortunately you speak for a very very low minority of women
the majority will come here and form e-warrior, spouting spiel but will never use their own money for anything...
You work with someone earning same money yet she still tells u to buy gifts for her///

Leeching off everyone,... neighbourhood wife lol

I read this thread last night and decided a lot of women need talking to.

The man who will regard me as his inferior in this life has NOT been conceived. My carriage speaks for me. When I talk of carriage, not shouting up and down or making noise.

Any man paying for women with no strings has nothing to use money for. If he has responsibilities, he will know how to spend.

How are you?

Preparing for my B.day!

I missed the party!

The OP is quite insightful on the status of some issues worldwide.

However, I do not believe that men will hand women their 'rights' or fair treatment on a platter of gold. No master will let his or her slave go just like that. If the slave is trying to succeed in one way, the master will devise another means to hold the slave captive. If the slave is not too tall, he/she will be short, uneducated, from a poor background, unlucky etc. It is left for the slave to stand up and say 'enough is enough' and take his/her freedom by force.

The same goes for the gender equality/inequality issue. A lot of men are not ready to give it all up just like that. If you drag yourself on the floor as a woman, only few men will encourage you to pick yourself up.

As a lady, it is NOT our business if there is gender inequality or not. It is our duty to redefine who we are to ourselves and our society at large. I am very sure no man can walk up to Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, Hilary Clinton, Queen Elizabeth 1, Ngozi Okonji- Iweala, Kathryln Kulhman, Joyce Meyer, Dora Akunyili, Marie Curie etc. and tell them they were/are inferior. They did not fold their hands and lament 'oh! I am just a woman, I cannot act, I can't excel in science, I can invent anything, I can't fight for freedom, I cannot participate in politics, God cannot use me etc.' They stood up and did what they had to do. They probably put in more time, energy and dedication to excel but it paid off.

There are some simple steps to getting there:

1. Have a vision: A visionless woman is a waste to her generation! What is your dream, what passion burns inside of you? Where do you see yourself in 10 years, 20 years? It is not necessary it's a fancy vocation like medicine or law. The person who started packaging ground crayfish, egusi, vegetables etc. saw a need and met it. The owner of the mobile toilet initiative did same. What need can you meet in your immediate environment? What are the gifts God deposited in you to better the lives of others?

2. Earn Respect: You do not deserve respect because you are a woman, you earn it. I do not care if a man has 4 balls or a 12inch P. I respect you based on if you earned it or not. No man will respect a woman because she is a woman! Really, what is he respecting you for? Your cooking skills, that you will give birth in future? or because you have bre.a.sts? You only deserve respect when you earn it. How? the way you conduct yourself and the value you place on yourself. if you DO NOT value yourself, no body will value you. There is no free value around for dash. You must earn it and earn it hard. I am sure Dora was not partying when her mates were reading. if you are always whinny and having entitlement mentality because you have a V.g, everyone will treat you like a spoilt kid NOT to be taken seriously. You must have self control and contentment with the little or much you have.

3. Be a woman to only your man: I do not understand how a lady can decide to be a 'woman' to every man she comes across. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying behave like a man; I am saying there are some special things reserved for my man/husband only. Am I a cook that any guy would just give me money to go to market and cook for him? Am I doing neighborhood wife that I am giving my male neighbors' food or do their laundry? What is that thing that you have reserved specially for your man? Just how I do not expect a man to be sleeping around or offering 'community service' for all the ladies are giving all the ladies money or whatever, I do not expect women to do same. I feel happy knowing that there are some special things only my man/husband will know about me and vice versa.

In your place of work, you are colleagues and relate with the guys as such. I find it irritating when a lady is harassing a man to buy lunch or other freebies... seriously? You work, I work, you earn your salary and same here so what's up with the 'I never chop attitude?' Yes, it is harassing because the poor guy might have something to use his money for and because he doesn't want to be labeled as 'stingy, not man enough' or whatever, he begins to calculate how to dodge or pay for market he didn't buy.

Some female posters are even talking of bills on this thread; is it only you and your guy that has to bother about your bills? What has been a man got to do with paying of random bills? if the men did not exist, how would we settle our bills?

in your neighborhood, you are neighbors and please keep it at that. Be a good neighbor but don't turn yourself to a 'free' wife. I remember when I was an exco back in school and I was washing the plates after a function. One of my lecturers asked if I did it because I was a woman and I told him that I did it because it was my office and my duty. If my office/duty requires I sweep, I will do so but sorry I will not do it because I am a woman and it is 'expected' of me.

4. Learn to be yourself: You are you! No matter how much you try to be like me, you can only be a photocopy! If it is not panadol, e no fit be like panadol! You want to wear green because everyone is wearing green; you must have yellow prada bag because that is the in thing; you do not finish the food in your plate because it is 'razz' to do so and you are dying of hunger; you do not laugh because others are boning etc. All you do is mimic everyone else... It is now so bad that you can see 30 ladies talk, dress, eat , laugh, pose exactly the same way. You don't know who has the real moves anymore. Everyone likes A, B, C including those who have never seen it before. I live in Banana Iceland; I live in Lekki Phase 4, I use bottled water to brush my teeth type of forming shows you have nothing to offer upstairs. define yourself and let people yearn to be like you. I wonder how some married people cope after all the 'I don't poo' forming they did for themselves during courtship.

5. Concern yourself with only your man: What is your business with what guys like? You hear guys like this; guys don't like that etc. You should only be concerned with what YOUR man likes and dislikes. All these training girls for marriage even as to stop! I remember when I was younger, I like to eat with a spoon because I went to a boarding school. My Aunt would be like 'what if I marry a man that doesn't like me eating with a spoon etc.'? Like seriously? let him say he doesn't like it first and then we will take it from there. Some ladies are so un innovative and do not know their men because they are concerned about what men like.

6. Choose your man carefully: If you are interested in getting married, choose your man carefully. Don't marry a cheat and then come to NL to disturb our peace! God willing, I have gotten the right order of pants and bra to wear : Red panties with black bra, it does the trick. Don't jump at any man because he has money and being to cry he doesn't love you after marriage. A man that doesn't love you during marriage will never do after marriage.

What motivates you to avoid these men? the fact that you have a vision! if you dream to be a senator and you are working towards it, you know that a man who says 'I don't want a career wife' is automatically not for you! If you dream to take care of motherless babies home or become a missionary etc. you know a man who doesn't like kids or care about others is outside your target market. However, if you are visionless, anything goes.

7. Stop being a crab: After all said and done, some ladies will still be visionless and like to stay at the bottom of the barrel because of the hand outs N5 and N10 they are receiving. Please and please don't be crabs. You don't want to succeed fine, don't discourage others that want to. I don't know if it's training or one of the ploys of the devil but some women don't like to see their fellow ladies succeed. They are the first to condemn the efforts of their fellow ladies, first to judge and generalize. When I hear 'don't you know women? they are a, b, c etc.' I am like seriously? I remember discussing with someone one day and she said 'don't you know women are always unfaithful?' I said 'I don't know because I am not or are you?' You want to be at the bottom? Fine stay there and do not disturb others.

Are there low quality men around, yes! it's left for you as a lady to decide and choose who or what you want in life.

Dear parents esp mothers please stop churning out half-baked boys. Learn how to train them properly.

Guitarlife: You need to ask yourself, which kind of woman borrows her boyfriend 2.5 million naira ?

Have you thought of that ?

I have a feeling the Op had to put in everything to get a marriage from this man.

Women, let your men earn you. You will be treated like a trash if you keep throwing yourself at them.

For petes sakes, 2.5million naira as at 7 years ago!!!

More like 5million naira today.

The man is clearly a nonentity but whoose fault is it that @Op chose to marry one ?

I hope single ladies are reading this thread sha ?

As rare as it is to agree with you, I quite agree with your post esp. the bolded.

Most of these signs are clear during courtship

De Beauvoir: You start your post by saying we cannot use common sense to judge the Bible then you proceed to explain your point with common sense?
That doesn't follow, you either use your human knowledge in interpreting the Bible or you discard it completely. You can't pick and choose.



It is a generally accepted fact in Christianity that fornication/adultery is wrong so that analogy is inappropriate. What isn't accepted by the majority is that husbands have to place their wives over themselves because Ephesians 5 verse 21 asks christians to submit to one another. The definitions of submit vary and alternate definitions are used by Christians all over the world so your own explanation for that verse is nothing but your personal explanation. It isn't the generally accepted christian explanation. Besides it's not like the verse is accompanied by a footnote explaining what 'submit' means. That verse is open to different explanations because of the absence of further clarification in the bible.
You came up with that explanation because it is what you are most comfortable with and because you want to believe the Bible is all for gender equality.



Source of what exactly? And again, your own personal explanation of what the 'Bible love and submission' means is what you wrote up there. I know many christians that would disagree with you on that.



Lol, a leader is superior to his subjects. That's why he has been placed in charge of them.
In Christianlty, a man is superior to his wife that's why he is in charge of her and her children. Fine, he may consult her regularly
to know what she likes and what she thinks before he takes final decisions but the fact is that the final decision rests with him as the head of the house, it doesn't rest with the woman. He can consult his wife for her opinion but if he does not like her opinion then he is free to discard them. That is a priviledge he enjoys as a leader.
He may not necessarily be discarding his wife's opinion because he doesn't care about her, no. On the contrary he could be doing that because he genuinely believes that he has a better plan than she does and wants the best for her. In the end, whatever stands is what the man wants. If he agrees with wifey then they both follow her opinion, if he disagrees then they both follow what hubby wants because he is the leader and that is a priviledge he solely enjoys as the leader.
Do you now see how women are not equal to men in Christianity? If there was equality, men wouldn't be given the sole responsibility of leading households and making final decisions. the fact that leadership position is exclusively reserved for males implies that Yahweh believes that men are better decision makers than women since the responsibility of making final decisions in the home rests solely on the shoulders of men.

And yes, a queen is part of the king's subjects. She is married to him does not mean they are equal or that he wouldn't rule over her.

Like I said earlier, things way are in the Bible is different the 'world'

Ok, let's do this: Quote 1 cor 13: 1 - 8 and break it down...

That is what is expected from husbands

I commend these children but I dislike the fact that they were rewarded with cash thereby monetizing values. An award like 'Noble kids', 'Nigerian Ambassadors' etc. with international recognition would have sufficed so that kids would not start trying to outdo each other because of 1M.

How safe is it to disclose a child's identity who busted a robbery gang? Have all their members been rounded up or do they think they do not have access to the Tv?

Are they going to make over the kid so that he is not recognized? Are the arrested robbers going to be given life sentence or capital punishment so that they don't come back to hunt the kid?

It's well o!

stillwater: But in this case he spends money like no man's business and has full access to her accounts. A right most housewives have no access to.
As the responsible member and head of the family, that is the OP since the husband has relinquished all rights to provide, then she needs to seize such access, before this family goes bankrupt. Put him on a typical allowance and let him take care of the house and kids. Unfortunately she married a house husband, start treating him like one. Open a small kiosk for him so he can be selling indomie, biscuit and chewing gum etc.

Lol! @ bolded!

if working husband dey open shop for housewife, make working wife open shop for househusband!

lady gogo: The OP's Sis should just see it as a vacation and pay for the trip or split the costs 70/30, 80/20. Let us stop being leeches gehs.

Doesnt the op's sis want to see her man too? Why is it one-sided?

Na wa!

She is doing the man a service na...

You think it is easy to sleep with a man, wash his clothes and cook for him?

I don't blame them, I blame the guys that do like alapa stainless and olowo geisha

dayokanu: If it was the girl who said she wanted to see him, Does she also pay the fares?

All these I never chop mentality among naija babes sha.

Lol!

Dayo and Naija ladies!

What kind of relationship operate these days?

Don't the couple know each others' pocket and capability?

The woman has more than the man, is it not automatic she foots more of the bill and vice versa?

If the man must foot more of the bills, the woman should not complain if he doesn't see the necessity in helping her in the chores in future

Phder: 1. Never marry a man/woman without a clear goal. Obviously your husband doesn't have a goal.

2. Dating is not all about going out, eating and all those fancy stuff, after 2nd/3rd date, you should start studying him/her.

3. Don't ever accept a marriage proposal because he proposed, No! Say yes only because you are sure he is a man with vision and plans.

4. Whatever happens, discuss financial, educational, marital, material, parental issues before you tie the knot. If possible sign an agreement sef...

To the OP:
Sorry about your issue. You need to talk to his family (Dad and Mom), infact you can print this your write up and post it to their address if you can't talk to them without being scared or something. Just make them know what you're passing through.

If it's a court marriage, you should get the court to notify him of the commitment he made before he kissed the bride.

This might seems odd, but get this straight, you kids happiness should come ahead of yours, if you don't do anything now, you won't be able to do it tomorrow, and the day after, and next week. Don't let you kid grow up in a home with such financial issue.

Standing ovation esp @ the bolded

maidorawa: My fourth son is 11 October and mine is 13 October.

You are a strong man o!

Okunrin meta-abo!

It is well with you and family!

Happy HBD

De Beauvoir: I not only used the dictionary, I broke down my explanation to tally with common sense.
If your christian definitions do not agree with common sense then something is seriously wrong somewhere.

You cannot use common sense to judge the Bible. 1 Cor 2: 9 says 'God uses the wisdom of this world to confound the wise...' You cannot explain the spiritual with the carnal/physical

De Beauvoir: Also, many christians will definitely not agree with your explanation of submission; the men especially, so you're just basically stating your personal opinion of what that verse means. you are not stating the general christian view.

Do not confuse what the Bible says to what Christians will do/ not do.

Every Christian knows fornication and adultery is wrong; yet many still do it etc. Also, a lot of people mix religion with Christianity because they are ignorant of what the Bible says.

The Biblical love and submission is not master - slave relationship or equal/unequal relationship.

De Beauvoir: And you said that a man is only a leader because he provides for the family; do women not provide financial support for the family as well? Do they not go through unthinkable pain to bear children and do they not sacrifice their lives and comfort to take care of the children? Why aren't they also leaders if that is the case?

I never said a man is the leader because he provides for his family; as a matter of fact, even if a man does not provide, he is still the head of his home. I said he is the head because he is the source. ideally, a man should have a vision of his destiny, how he wants to achieve it and then he marries a woman who together they will achieve and help each other make heaven and vice versa for the wife too. A man will have weaknesses that will be strengthened in his wife and vice versa. That is where the concept of two becoming one etc. stems from.

The virtuous woman/wife of Proverbs 31 provided for her family too. I think being an house wife is not even Biblical. A Christian wife is to care financially for the widows around her. She definitely needs to be able o provide for herself before she can achieve that

De Beauvoir: A leader is meant to serve his family but that doesn't mean he is inferior to them, as the leader, he makes the final decisions in the home, he guides and directs and he sets rules to determine how his followers should live and only a person in a position of intellectual superiority is supposed to assume a leadership role.
You can't have a dumbass leading those that are clearly superior to him.

A leader is not inferior to his wife because he serves her just how a woman is not inferior to her husband because she submits to him. Leadership in Christianity esp. in martial setting is different from the conventional leader we know. A man is to lead his family by example and he leads his family together with his wife. It is like a King/ Queen relationship. Do you think the King will see his Queen as one of his subjects
E.g. Jesus is the leader of Christians; Do you know how He achieved that?
By showing us the kind of life he wanted us to live;
By dying on the cross for our sins;
By empowering us to live like Him;
By interceding for us when we fail etc.

De Beauvoir: If Yahweh made men the default leaders in households, that means that Yahweh thinks men have better intellects/better brains than women and Yahweh thinks men are naturally better leaders than women and he also thinks women can never make better leaders than men

How then can men and women be equal when men have been placed in a position of determining how women live their lives and women do not have the same privilege?

A husband does not sit down to determine who his wife lives like she is his child; they correct each other mutually in love to achieve a common goal.
Ecc 4: 10 - 16 explains it better; it is a scratch my back I scratch your back situation; however, if a man wants to live as if he is alone, he is absolutely free

[quote author=tpia@]if the father provided a good career for his kids, its up to him how he wants to handle his wealth.

however, its not my business really, so, dunno @ topic.

should strangers enjoy the wealth?[/quote]Excellent question

If I do not have a right to my parent's wealth, who will or whose wealth would I enjoy?

De Beauvoir: Oh bukatyne, I hope my post didn't annoy you?

I hope we're still friends?
Please tell me you're not upset over what I posted.....I need to hear it

It did not dear

*e-Hugs*

De Beauvoir: This is exactly the type of chicanery I said I had no interest in dealing with.
Ephesians 5:2 is only the concluding part of the full sentence that starts from verse 18.

5:18;And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
5:19; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord
5:20;Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
5:21;Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

And now, these are the various definitions and meanings of the word 'Submit':

sub·mit [səb mít]
(past and past participle sub·mit·ted, present participle sub·mit·ting, 3rd person present singular sub·mits)
verb
1. transitive verb propose or hand in something: to hand something in or put something forward for consideration, approval, or judgment
Applications must be submitted in triplicate.
2. intransitive verb yield: to accept somebody else's authority or will, especially reluctantly or under pressure
3. intransitive verb agree: to agree to undergo something example; he had to submit to intensive questioning
4. intransitive verb defer: to defer to another's knowledge, judgment, or experience
5. transitive verb argue point: to state or argue that something is the case (formal)

The meaning of 'Submit' in the context of your verse is the definition in bold, submission in that context does not mean placing higher esteem on others over yourself.
In that verse submission means Christians should agree to avoid drinking wine, to sing to the lord, to speak hymns to one another and to give thanks always to god.

Now, Bukatyne, you claimed that Submission in Christianity has only one meaning ie 'esteeming others above yourself'.
Let me tell you why that is false and why the word 'submit' has a different meaning to the meaning you posted.

Definition of Esteem
es·teem [i stm]
transitive verb (past and past participle es·teemed, present participle es·teem·ing, 3rd person present singular es·teems)
1. regard something in particular way: to consider something or somebody as having a particular quality (formal)

It is simply not possible for every single christian to place higher esteem on their counterparts regardless of the the rank or position those counterparts have in the society. That would mean christians have to consider every single one of their fellow christians as having higher qualities or abilities/assets/value than they do.
A king cannot place a higher esteem on his subjects than he places on himself because the very fact that he is king means he is not on the same level as said subjects.
A parent cannot place a higher esteem on their child because they are more intelligent, mature and experienced than that child.
In Christianity, a husband cannot place a higher esteem on his wife because he is the leader of the household.
He is the head of the house.
He rules over the woman and her children and due to this, he is superior to her.

A person in a position of superiority cannot place higher esteem on their inferiors, they can be benevolent over them and they can be kind and merciful to them but they cannot place them in higher esteem because the moment they do that, they defer superiority and authority to whoever they are placing in higher esteem than themselves.

Society cannot exist without ranks and strata and echelons and classes, there has to be a ruler, there has to be administrators and governors and leaders and this would not be possible when every member of the society is placing their subordinates in higher esteem.

And finally, the conclusion drawn from all the points stated above is that the word 'submit' in that verse means something entirely different from what you claimed it means.

Like I stated earlier, I was talking about the Christian view.

if you use dictionary to explain the Bible, you are on your own

The relationship between a husband and wife is definitely different from other Christians and calls for different technicalities.

In Christianity, a man is the head because he is the source of his family just how Mike Adenuga started GLOBACOM. He is responsible for how the family turns out and contrary to popular opinion, a man actually determines how the home should be.

Leaders are to serve their followers and vice versa to make it balanced. Matthew 20: 28 sums it up. A leader is called to serve and not be served. In fact, in the early Church, the apostles were the ones serving the widows and the Church grew, Deacons were appointed to serve the widows.

I am sure that when you hear of Deacons now, you imagine a big title; the office was actually created for service.

The truth is that a lot of things have been mixed with culture and you cannot imagine a 'supposed leader' serving his subordinates.

De Beauvoir: Ephesians 5:21
King James Version (KJV)
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.


What does 'submission' in the context of that verse imply?

Are you sure you want this discussion on this thread?

Your question is really the main thing! What does submission mean in Christianity? You will agree with me that Eph 5: 21 has cancelled any notion that submission makes a woman inferior to her husband else they would both be inferior to one another.

In Christianity, submission means 'esteeming others, your neighbor above yourself' i.e. treating others people in this case your husband more than yourself. A husband is called to love his wife and this love is defined in 1 Cor 13: 1 - 13. The submission of the wife is a balance to the husband's love. The husband watches out for the wife and the wife watches out for her husband. They are in sync and part of a whole.

Christians are also called to submit to each other in Romans and told to honor one another in Colossians.

Only mates or colleagues can submit that's why children are never told to submit to their parents but obey them.

Forget all the submission you hear and read about in Nigeria; they are using their own Nigerian Bible.

I do not know what submission means in the cultural context anyways.

Hope I was helpful.



Apologies to Kenichi for derailing

De Beauvoir: I don't want to discuss bible verses because I know quite well that some ridiculous alternate interpretations of woman hating parts of the bible have been invented by embarrased liberals/progressives who can't admit that Yahweh created women to be inferior surbodinates and I am not in the mood to deal with all the chicanery and distorted definitions that such progressives employ in argument.


These parts of the bible are enough to tell any sincere person what the status of women is in Christianity:
Genesis 3:16
King James Bible
......and thy desire shall be
to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.


Ephesians 5:22
King James Bible
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord.

But I've got mad love for you bukatyne
I've got mad love for all feminists so keep up the good work, Christian or not.

Read Ephesians 5:21

Black Kenichi: Tell me something De Beauvoir
Who is that ugly bint pic on your profile?

Also do you honestly think I give a toss about what dumb feminist bint that doesn't prove her own assertions thinks of me. Get back to the f*cking kitchen you little tramp.

You think women's place is in the kitchen

bukatyne:

a Nazi non-feminist is the same as a feminazi

It is a right for a child to inherit from his father (Parents)

A good father leaves inheritance for his children and children's children.

However, a child should be trained on the way he (she) go, so that when he is old, he will NOT depart from it.

Nashville: CC, a very good post and I have highlighted some very important points. The truth is that both sides have good points. My house is like your house. Infact for a period of three years (36 months), we had guests staying with us for around 30 months. Some friends will joke my house is a small hotel and thre was a time last year, we were a total of eleven people in our home. We are just a family of four. My wife and I love hosting people. Its not just about food, we also will make sure we give you our time and make you feel comfortable. We reduced it a bit when we realised some people were abusing the priviledge and also found out that some will not reciprocate out gesture. I completely agree that a husband's friend cannot be an unwanted guest.

However Uju and Yield have some very valid points as well. You cannot dictate the lifestyle of your host. I also travel and have to stay with people often times and I can tell you that the only place that I visit where I request for food is my parents house. I can do that cos its my parents house and my mum is retired. I will not ask in my brother's or sister's house. Everywhere else, I wait to be invited and never complain if I am not offered food. Most times I stay with my brother. His wife now runs her own business and she is the first to leave the house in the morning with the kids and househelp as the househelps help her in her business. Most times I wouldnt even be awake when she leaves. She doesnt make me breakfast, I know I am not a visitor so I can always go to their fridge and get something myself but most times I just go to Chicken republic or kilimanjaro to get something. Thankfully my bro would provide his driver and that is really what I need.

Lifestyles are different and we need to understand that. I like your approach to hosting people but a very important element you should consider is that most people cannot afford your lifestyle. They cant afford to buy MOET and keep in the fridge for visitors and you cant fault them for not having enough. And for some families, both husband and wife are on the road by 630am so you cant blame them if they dont provide you breakfast. If it is their lifestyle I am sorry they may not always change it at short notice. So, while I and my wife love hosting people, I will not blame or fault any other person that is not like me. They may not have as much money or time as I have. Unless of cos it is intentional!

I like your post a lot!

A friend of mine thought me a very important lesson:

To appreciate whatever anyone offers me. He might complain about the food at home but will never complain about the food he's given outside. He will manage it however bad and if it's so terrible, he will smile, thank them so much and leave it.

We should remember that everyone's upbringing and outlook to life is different.

Are some hosts wicked and selfish? Yes; Are some naturally bad hosts? Yes; Are some excellent hosts? Yes

Congrats!

Never knew she was pregnant.

De Beauvoir: How can you be a christian and be an advocate of feminism at the same time? The Bible is clearly for male superiority and there are verses to show this; I am sure you know of them.

You are going against Yahweh's laws by advocating gender equality bukatyne.

Dear,

I don't think you know God's laws enough to tell me that they are against gender equality.

I don't want to derail this thread by discussing this issue on this thread.

check my profile and check out my thread on that.

You can post your concerns/verses there

Thanks

sholay2011: I knew that was what you meant. Subtract 2 frm urs, dats my age by October 17.

You are either 27. 38 or 22

I need a gun