₦airaland Forum

TV01: "Others?" Pray tell. I feel like I'm being accused of syncretism ?



I don't see where I made or argued that point. Or if that was even in view? I addressed Kuylie, based on her posting history - and not just on this thread.

And perhaps you flatter me by assuming "I know". I may not know and perhaps you could show us biblical support for your position.

Best
TV

Others like your family, upbringing etc.

No problem then.

TV01: @ Kuylie,

I won't bother with a response to the incoherent mess you penned up there. Rather, let me give you some free advice. You cannot serve two masters. The militant feminist ideology is contrary to the truth. Please abandon it for your own well-being.

Whatever it was that hurt you, don't let it warp you. What ever fear, you can get past it. Seek healing.

"Mfufu feminism" (apologies, but you warrant the demotion) will not benefit you, not here and now, nor in the hereafter.

I'm rooting for you girl.

TV

Hi TV,

I know that Christianity amongst others flavors your posts. I also want to believe you are not saying that a person cannot be happy without marriage because you know biblically that it's not true.

biolabee: oh.. nice q aluta.... any man that abuses my sister physically in marriage or just puppylove will face the best my powers or my connections can reach

I will not subscribe to staying in a loveless marriage especially one where a second wife has been brought in

That one we will console the girl

I thought the discussion was on abuse of kulyies relation

My mind was on violence.... heart break well, we will console her

Matters of the heart cannot be legislated.. hope it clear

Are you sure?

Your stance when those actual stories come out is actually different

ayans4: Dear N/Landers, I need your sincere opinion on this.
I got married to my husband over two years ago as a virgin, cos I had this policy of no sex b4 marriage, and after some months, there was no sign of pregnancy, asked him if in the past he got any woman pregnant becos he was sexually active, he answered in the affirmative, asked him for the baby, he said "they" had an abortion, so I tried all I could as a person TTC, used the OPK, PTK all the quality multivitamins, tried all I mean all that was recommended to do.
meanwhile, after we got married, I noticed his Testis was "funny looking", asked him, he said that I should leave it as that's the way it should be.
after some months of TTC, and about a year after our marriage, I consulted a gynecologist, who recommended we run a comprehensive check, coincidentally at my place of work, we run an annual compulsory comprehensive check up, and on examining me, my womb, tubes and other vital organs got a clean bill.
meanwhile, I had gone for different tests (follicumetry etc) to check for ovulation....all still came out well.
I had to encourage hubby to go for his tests as "the earlier the better".....
In July last year, 2012; [b]I encouraged him to go for a Seminal Fluid Aanalysis/ Test. When the result was supposed to be out,I asked him for the result and he told me that the test came out inconclusive and had to be re-run as "air" got into the container.
I asked a lady close to me who is medically inclined about the possibility of the result coming out inconclusive as a result of this. she later made me understand that from her findings, that the possibility was slim as there would have been some findings/ result from the tests don[/b]e.
Three months later,I went visiting his mother, and eventually, his siblings embarrassed me,during a quarrel threw my bags out, asked for my children etc maybe due to the fact that their brother's wife that was just married was already pregnant.
That made me serious about the whole Trying to Conceive thing.
I kept encouraging him to go for a test as if there are treatments he would need, the earlier he gets it, and the earlier we overcome the Trying to conceive challenge, the better. He was very reluctant, but when I insisted, he went for a test, and afterwards, I had to mount pressure on him to disclose the result.It took him like eternity to tell me about it. he eventually sent the result to me via SMS and, it is the WORST form of infertility anybody can suffer. its AZOOSPERMIA! that is, they could not find one sperm cell dead or alive in his ejaculate/semen.
I went online, did some research on the condition, and found out it was caused by conditions including undescended testes at birth. I got to know that we would need an urologist to examine him, I called on different Doctors I know who we could see and even went online to check for an urologist in Nigeria. I was advised to visit any Teaching hospital. we visited LUTH( meanwhile he was and has always been lackadaisical about the whole TTC issue. at different times, I asked him if he had anything I needed to know or if he was hiding something from me that the earlier he tells it to me, the better.)and at LUTH, I got to discover he hadn't just I testis, but also went for a surgery for undescended testes and that surgery was not done until he became eleven.
I became sad and asked him why he did not disclose this condition to me before we got married as the doctors have concluded that the only solution is adoption or Donor sperm (DS or get another man to "do the deed".
I have looked at these options and they are not agreeable by me becos to me, the whole marriage was based on deceit becos not just him, but his family knew about his condition and also did not disclose.
I told him I am not ready to continue considering the implications of these options:
if we are to use the DS, how many times do we have to use the DS to make babies that is, after the first success, we have to get another donor some other time for subsequent pregnancies to take place; then what would be the difference.....with a woman that gives birth for different men....
and the truth is that I can't sin against God by getting other men....in the name of getting pregnant, rather, I told him I would remarry and raise a decent family.
meanwhile on hearing my decision, his family members are saying that I should not quit.....but I told them that the little experience I have had of them, am sure they would have married a new wife for him if it case were to be the other way.
Please what is your view....I need sincere answers.
Please....if I were your sister,daughter, friend, what would you be your opinion?
Thank you
AYANS4.

@Posters who believe the husband did not know his condition, he fully did.

@Posters who are quoting 'in sickness and in health...' part of the vow, remember that the pastor also asks 'if there is any impediment...' and he said 'I don't!'

@Posters giving hubby the license to cheat because she has not been at home since Jan, I wonder what would happen if she travels for a year. I am also sure that suddenly, the martial vows she should uphold doesn't hold for the husband. I am also sure that even though the wife is to behave like a 'Christian', the husband should not.

@OP: Like I said, pray to God for direction. He might have shown you that your hubby was not the right person but you still insisted on marrying him. He might also want to use this to test your faith. listen to Him so that you do not short change yourself at the end.

baldman: @ OP : Are you a Christian? Do you believe in the bible? Are there conditions attached to the vows you exchanged before men and God (Like 'I am saying I do only on the condition that there are no secrets you are hiding from me), do you believe that God hates Divorce and that if you are divorcing you are doing that only on the basis of adultery and there can be no subsequent marriage as long as your ex-husband is still alive? Are you aware that infertility is not one of the grounds for divorce neither is failure to disclose health condition?. Are you willing to take a chance should the act of divorce be found to be indeed capable of depriving you of entry into God's eternal kingdom where neither marriage and motherhood have no relevance?

Look at the man you are married to and ask yourself if you would have felt completed and fulfilled with him, if there is no infertility issue? Besides the infertility, is this man a good man, your dream man? Is this man generally a liar or this is a one off thing?
You have to understand that no family is perfect and everyone has their secrets hidden behind the smiles and giggles that we are seeing all over the place.

My suggestion may seems a bit off, but if you do not want to divorce and you do not want children that you cannot call your own, and this man you are married to is really someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, get any of your husband's brothers, preferably a married one to make the sperm donations. Your children will be yours and they will carry what is practicably nearest to your husband's genes. Your marriage will be intact unless you choose to make it otherwise and your children will always belong to one family line. It is what the old testament would recommend.

Otherwise, you can just go and remarry, have children and live happily until every time someone shows your the part of the scriptures where God says your marriage is an adultery.

There is no easy solution to this problem. I pray God will guide you right.

Mr. Baldman,

Go and reread your Bible well and come back.

P.S.: Christianity is different from religion

ayans4: Thanks Bellong,
I met him in church, and one of the reasons I got married to him is that he "appeared" (now I know better)to be God fearing that's my number 1 quality, then he does not drink alcohol,.....then he is homely.

God will see you through

Don't think it's because you didn't have se.x or because of something you did wrong that's why this happened

It's well with you.

intbizoil: I have discovered we answer christians by mouth only but no action. Op where is your faith? Are you going to believe the doctor's report or God's report? Many people will jump at this story because it supports their stance on pre marital sex. Whether you like it or not God's standard doesn't change. Pre marital sex is sin QED. Have you heard of couples who stayed years without any issue? Are there condition any better than yours? And what is their story now if not babies all the way. Who do you think gives children. I don't know why christians treat their issues carnally and not from a spiritual perspective. Granted your hubby lied but I can assure you this is a true test of faith, that you need to overcome to get God's blessing. Op you might be the next testimony. However, your decision to make. As for me I have made my point. One thing I know is this God is always faithful.

Please and please, let us not be selective in our reading. The man is not a Christian abi? What is the test of her faith? lies? deceit? If the hubby had told her before hand that he was not fertile ans they prayed and agreed to got ahead with the wedding, then volia! that is faith.

We will not see 'do unto others as we want others to do unto us' but we will see 'if your brother offends you, forgive 70 X 7 times.'

Please let us stop been Christians when it suits us. Jesus clearly said not every one is destined to marry. The man might have been one of those.

This is not about test driving or whatever

sino: I served recently, so i know what i am talking about.

Yes it is true Muslims are allowed to put on a three quater etc. But its a big compromise on her part, it's not the ideal thing.

Yeah i agree to an extent, if you want to be wayward, you can only if the society allows it. Can we say because some people want to be armed robbers so we shouldn't speak against armed robbery or bring a solution to stop it?

There is a lot we can achieve if the society plays her role, i remember back then when you commit an inappropriate action outside your home, its the people around that will correct you before your parents do, now is not the case, everyone to himself, 'it's my life, i can live however i want to' syndrome.

Sorry, what is the ideal thing?

Have you heard of exemption?

sino: I am a boy, i can only speak of what i know, boys will be boys and guys will be guys.


Please try to understnad me/us, we have rules and regulations guiding us as Muslims, and these rules are from God, we try to obey them to the best of our abilities and demand for them under the auspices of fundamental human right. When we come on here to explain to you the reasons, applying logic and common sense, we hope you'll see the proper perspective and rationale behind our rules and regulations.

When God created the earth, he didn't create another earth for women, even with that, does not give us the liberty to start behaving irresponsibly.

The case of the university makes me remember that until cases of sexual harassment got so high, there was really no uni with a dress code. Now what do we have? Dress codes in lag, lasu, illorin etc. if this law is properly enforced, cases of rape or sexual harassment would reduce to the bearest minimum. I hope you get what i am trying to say?

On the contrary, we are borthered, but the victim here are the females, we men can still put on the camp attire, and participate in the drills to a certain extent. The aim of NYSC is primarily national integration, its a lofty goal, i served in benue and i know how much it has impacted on me and how i feel about other tribe and ethnicity, keeping proper moral ethics would not in any way hamper the goals and aims of NYSC rather, it would strengthen it.

Sino,

if the JNL noticed that all sorts of vices go down in NYSC Camps, they should move into the camps and preach/encourage the muslims and always tell parents to instruct/train their kids. The duties of religious institutions is to guide them in the way of the Lord and not force it down their throats.

How are females the victims? Are they raped or forced to do something against their will? If carrying etc. is wrong for a muslim girl, it should also be wrong for a muslim boy so I don't see how females are the victims in this case.

Expect you are telling me that women are airheads, they should be trusted to make their decisions and face the consequences. Boy toasts girl and they agree to be toasted. Biko, how is the girl a victim? What is she a victim of? the sweet abunna or what? How long will you shield and police the women like babies?

tintingz: Lolz, i dont support adultery that's why polygamy is created for men cos men are polygamist in nature... take lions as an example in their pride land or do you see lioness chasing lions to pop their hole??


Taaarrr!! Who is decieving you sef

Both gender can do better

Is that what your Quran teaches you?

biolabee: women are a wonderful gender

they wanted security and protection from the beasts and elements; we gave them companionship

they wanted more security and protection; we gave them marriage

they complained we did not trust their children; we gave them virginity before marriage

they complained there were too many unmarried females; we gave them polygamy

they complained that they feel valued in the multitude of their kind; we gave them monogamy

they complained there are too many unwanted kids; we gave them abortion rights

they complained too many foetuses are dying; we say ban before 20 weeks;



You take the decision on their behalf... they complain you give them no choice yet you leave them to their devices they say you are not caring enough

wow.... a wonderful gender

If only they see it is all about taking personal responsibility.

Sorry, who are the 'they' and 'we'?

sino: Well, we all do albeit to varying degrees and veracity


What kind of white shorts are being distributed in camp? I couldn't even put on mine cos they were like boxers. And shirts were of poor quality and frail. I don't know when you served perhaps in the eighties cos i don't understand why you are trying to deny the facts.

What is wrong with Camp fire night? A lot, drunkenness which is prohibited in the camp is at its peak, not to talk of the immorality that ensues. I do not deny the fact that some people do carry themselves with good decorum during such nights, but the vices that do occure, overshadows the good and as a wise person, i'll do away with it.

A lot, not only the Muslim ladies, but all the ladies in camp. It tells you that guys would be guys, they talk about what they see and what they can't and they boast and compete to engage in immorality. Does this not give you a hint that such dressing and interactions as seen in camps would increase the tendencies for some silly guys to commit?


I don't understand what you are trying to say, i shared what i experienced.


Well, in order not to sound as if they are imposing their religious view on everyone, the reason for their statement in regards to Muslim women. Fyi we Muslims also organize camping programs, and some camps do include male and female Muslims, there is proper segregation at these camps and during morning drills, females have their own separate place for such.
The major contention here is about the morning exercise and what goes on in it(dressing and others), if it can be reviewed then i'm sure JNI wouldn't be on air calling for separate camps.

Oh, so boys can be boys but girls cannot be girls?

I guess because men rape ladies in the university therefore ladies should have their own separate university. It's not my business how other people choose to carry themselves as long as they don't encroach in my space. If you like, wear pants, talk whatever about women or men. I can only preach but that's it.

If muslims do not like the conduct in camps, they should apply for exemption letter.

I wonder why muslim men are not bothered how these vices affect them or is it permissible for them?

Babaji111: You are exempted from correcting me.

Excuse me

Babaji111: I wonder why any human is against chastity and decency. Muslims girls and women are guided by their religious ideologyy and it is not permissible for them to wear half-cloths or expose their unclothedness like many modern christians and pagans do. I believe any good christian will never go against decency. Past christians are not like our modern ones. LET US SEE THE PORTRAIT OF MOTHER MARY,MOTHER TERESSA and all reknown women. Are they not looking decent? Why dont we allow our muslim women to practice their religion? Any undecent behaviour is totally satanic and should not be encouraged. The dressing of our ladies in NYSC is totally against Islamic religious ideology and any muslim is advised to follow his/her religious tenets OR else fall into satanic family. May GOD show us more LIGHT to practice our religion without fear or favor.

Have you ever hear of exemption?

sino: Healthy interactions you say? What is healthy in a lady putting on a bum short and a see through shirt being lifted by a grown up man who is not her husband? I know you understand what temptation is and how it comes by, wouldn't it be wise to curtail avenues to it?
You served, i also served my papa land, i am a man, i stayed in the male hostel and do you know what over 80% males where talking about while back in the hostel?
I happened to be in camp during the raining season, do i need to explain what happens while on parade ground in the morning when it rains? Don't try to shy away from reality, we have gone so low, even on NL it is so obvious, do i need to remind you that male are aroused with what they see?!

If not for the cries by religious leaders(both christians and muslims) in the past which had made camp rules to be softened, all camp activities are meant to be compulsory on corps members(you can go look for a copy of the NYSC bye law).

And FYI, we have our activities in place of these social activities that are not appropriate for Muslims, instead of camp fire night, we have paradise night!

[s]Our women are smart and intelligent, that is why they chose the hijab, they understand by obeying the creator, they gain respect and favor/blessing in this world and the next.[/s]

And it's not about the women, rather its about the society, making our society better for all.

I don't like discussions with sentiments.

What muslim lady is wearing bum shorts and see through blouse in camp? What is bad in campfire night? Each Platoon dancing around the huge bon fire? Some friends even strolled hand - in -hand all through the dance period of their platoon; some even went to other platoons to gist with their friends etc.

What has the boys talk got to do with muslim ladies?

What happens when rain falls? Do these guys just grab random ladies or not? What about dress (position yourself) how you want to be addressed?

Why can't the JNI fight for separate camps for guys and ladies and not others and muslim ladies?

Are the muslim ladies the problems in the camps?

Mustay: Oh really? And be called 'rebels' again huh Our experiences may differ but you can recall the experience of he girl who didn't wanna wear trousers. A muslim lady has told me of how in , the soldier, in the name of exercise wanted the ladies and men to hold themselves in the arm and see who lifts the other up. When she resisted (she told the officer she couldn't do that kind of thing) the soldier called it 'disobedience' until another officer who had a higher rank told her to respect the lady's beliefs. Some camps even have the soldiers forcing people to go for socials, camp fire etc. As far as am concerned, most of the activities in the camp is balderdash.

The JNI may seem to be raising the bar but there needs to be regulation in these camps. shikena

IF it doesn't suit you, doesn't make them stupid you support them not.

So if the lady and guy lift each other up, the guy will be so turned on and rape the girl at night? Oh please, is everything about sex with you? Can't you have healthy interactions with the opposite sex with thinking of sex? FYI, I have served so don't come here and bobo us like they tie men and women to do what they don't want to do. Everybody is invited for socials, fine. Can't the ladies sit down on their own? or do they lack self control that once they see a man they want sex? During camp fire night, can't the Muslim girls be together? Most socials occur towards the end of camp so the female Muslims should have made friends that can move around together.

Abeg, stop making Muslim women look like they are brainless and have no self control. I have meet some intelligent, disciplined and principled ones

And why is this always about the women?

abdulkayus: I am a muslim bt i disagree wit some of d postulation of d JNI, although i agree wit some.
Atleast already in d camp, there are different hostels for male and female and a male cannot enter a female hostel and also vice versal.
And even d para military trainin, i think its ok cos even d Pakistans and some other Islamic countries female soilders do undergo dos military exercise.
Although as muslim, i dont agree wit d mixin of both sexes wen lining up for food or registration, there shld seperate line for both. And also d issue of makin or even forcin a gal and boy to be dancing together durin d man o war training.
Camp is nt a religion ground, bt everyone as an individual too shld respect his/her religion on his/her own. There is alcohol or engagin in sex bt no one force someone.
U can be bad or good in d camp. We are all matured so shld knw wat is good or bad in ur religion and hw to avoid it.
I served in Anambra state and i still come bac intact nt indulgin in any sex or watever. So, it depend on an individual.

Maclatunji, also take note dat its nt everything of d JNI u hav to accept jus cos u are a muslim. I am a muslim and a proud one also.

If dey demand for seperate camp for both sexes, dat mean seperate university, working place, shoppin mall, tranportation and other things will be demanded als, abi no be so?
Make we dey use our no 6 sometym abeg. Religion is nt madness.
And to dos bigots abusin muslims and Islam cos of dis issue, knw dat JNI did nt represent every muslim thought. So, pls watch hw u speak.
U ppl claim to be enlightened or educated sometym, bt ur characters and habits show something farrrrrrrrrr frm dat.

CIAO

I am sorry I had to quote you again.

Arewa Warrior: So whats your point? u dont have any my dear ignorant brother. r u saying men n women should be kept in the same quarters? if so would you approve your wife, sisters n daughters to grace such a slaughter house?

So different hostels in the same compound is now the same quarters?

So NYSC camp is now a slaughter house? Can you tell me averagely how many women or men are raped in camp yearly?

I believe the corps members in these camps know what is go for them expect if they are saying Muslim females cannot think for themselves and therefore need JTI to do that for them.

Abdulkayus (Hope I got that right), thank you for you beautiful post.

This thread was opened with good intentions but as usual, was derailed lol!

50Calibre, according to accusations, you wear earrings and you can accuse Nigerian women of being 'fake' because they use hair extensions. I am very sure that men wearing earring is our cultures, not so? I am sure that white women are insecure that's why they tan, coil up their hair and fix extensions. I am sure Beyoncé, Gwen Stafani etc. are also insecure for wearing Ankara outfits. Whites who come for Calabar festival et al also have self-hate and wish they were blacks!

Infact, most people crying insecure are actually the insecure ones. Whites see what they like in African, adapt/adopt/steal it and beautify it in their way. Instead of us to do same, we would crying in one corner feeling superior and cool with ourselves. Why should how I wear my hair define me? How many times do we see whites complaining of weaves or associating it with security?

We are very hypocritical in nature and cherry pick what ever suits us. Most of these people crying that relaxing/fixing of weaves are signs of self hate also use make-ups, eat foreign dishes, use foreign products for their natural hair, wear foreign clothes, live in diaspora, use foreign invention and technology.

It's this same hypocritical attitude that makes us read the Bible and tweak it as we like. Imagine Born-again Christians' saying men are polygamous in nature; Some are saying women are inferior to men etc;

A lazy woman would read the Bible and be shouting that men are providers forgetting that the virtuous woman was very resourceful and business minded; hypocritical parents will demand their children obey them forgetting that the Bible told then NOT to provoke their children; men would blow hot hair that women should submit forgetting that it's only for husband/wife relationship and the husband is called to love. This love is not left vague but it is how Christ loved the Church and the characteristics outlined in 1 Cor 13: 1-8.

Some posters say that women are deviating from the 'African' standard, that equality or treating women right is only for whites which makes me wonder if we have the 'Nigerian Bible' and 'Nigerian god'. I also wonder why they are muddling up tradition and Christianity.

50Calibre, I like your style. You quoted the parts of the Bible out of context to suit your opinions. Did you not read in the same chapter of 1 Cor 11 : 11- 12? Gal 3:28? Did you not read of Deborah, Esther, Hildah, Anna and some other women in the Bible who ruled as judges or served in one capacity or the other? Priscilla and Aquilla both taught in the churches with Paul. Keep in mind that Priscilla was the wife. There was a church in Mary's (John Marks's mother) home. We have the daughters of Zelophad (Numbers 27) who fought for their rights when their father had no son to inherit his properties. Sarah is another example; when Ishmael (Abraham and Haggai's son) was laughing at Issac and she told Abraham to send Haggai and her son away, what did Abraham do? Did he beat/shout at her or send her packing? He went to God.
Read 1 Pet 3: 6 - 8

The reason why most of these cherry pickers can succeed is because most of us don't read our Bibles and whatever is given to us is swallowed hook, line and sinker. They mix culture, Bible, personal beliefs and opinions and package it and we chop it.

Sorry for the long epistle

joeydozzy: These guys should uphold to their standards

cos if I so much read about a compliment on how her hair looks beautiful, how she looks hot in that dress, how she has perfect skin tone,etc

I'll send this link to you guys, Yes you

*unfollows*
*heads for anger management class*

I don't know the post/guys you are referring to but anyone who believes what he/she reads here hook, line and sinker is living in cloud 9

mutaalim: Fine bukatyne the truth is that a man alone can,t take care of the child neither the woman that is why divorce is not a good thing (broken home)it is the children that suffer MOSTTTTT well don,t let me go into that for now

Back on point, each one of us has his/her role to play. You can't compare a man to a woman neither compare woman to a man
You primary role in your husband house is take care of your children while your man is outside looking for how to make both end meet for you and your children and look after your husband properties
beside there are some job that does not befit women you women are not created for stress
Regards

As you like it

mutaalim: No, bukatyne the mother play a major when it comes to children upbringing and domestic activities.

Regards

Your post I quoted was referring to training of kids.

Parents (not mothers or fathers) have major roles to play in the life of kids. If God thought either of them could do it alone, He wouldn't have given a child both of them. If the role of a father is just to 'provide' financially for the kids, then he's not important because the mother can do that also.

mutaalim: How many women of nowadays have time for their children to check their homework their schoolbags to see if they are in posession of what that does not belong to them they also busy on the island/street in the in name of making both end meet. Are they One paying the house bill is it not the responsibility Of their husand everyone has his/her own role . I am not saying a woman should not work but it must be an agreement between duo so has not to affect her ultimate responsibilty at home. Regards

Are you insinuating that training of the children is solely the role of the mother?

ogugua88: I saw the numerous calls to keep men out of this discussion, but, to me, that's illogical. Promiscuous women don't act alone. They have to engage men, several men at that, to be labelled promiscuous. With that said...

Promiscuity, in both men and women, is not a new phenomenon. How many of us can honestly say both of our parents were virgins when they married? All of our parents were virgins... just like all of our parents took first in school.

Rather than generalize and point fingers at Nigerian women, teach your siblings, cousins, friends, etc., right from wrong, and lead by example. This topic would have made sense if it wasn't for generalizations and hypocrites speaking from both sides of their mouths. It takes two to tango. If you're unhappy and want change, then start from within.

This is the problem. Some male posters feel it's ok for men to be promiscuous but women should be chaste. How does that work? When you say talk to boys and girls, you are labeled a feminist.

If the OP started a topic that a lot of girls are rude or another vice that is relatively one sided, it would make sense.

Have a since day

tbaba1234: Well, men and women are equal in the sense that each one gets the reward of his/her righteousness in the sight of God. Basically, there is no discrimination.That is the context of the ayah.

However, when it comes to their duties and responsibilities in the family, they are not compared. The man is responsible for the upkeep of the home, he is the head. The woman takes care of his honour, secrets and property in his absence. She only contributes to the home at her discretion, she can choose to work or not.

We do not compare men and women, because they are essentially different creatures in many ways. We do not think equality is a fair term.

Women generally have strengths that men don't have, strengths that help them fulfill the roles of wife and mother. Ofcourse, there are exceptions but the Islamic laws deal with the general cases not the exceptions.

I hope this is clear.

He doesn't seem to think they are equal at all

My views on the matter have been stated in previous pages.

Thanks for the effort

deols: are you for real?? she is married o.To a man



I am fine o. thank you.

I pray for the unknown man that she's not like this at home

DailyNews, you have not answered my question

DailyNews: Lol...according to one saying in my place: whoever tried to succeed in life and the gods said no should not be blamed shaa

Most ladies that sing: I am not interested in marriage are those that had been repeatedly heartbroken by men, so sad anyway. They are only lying to themselves, time shall tell! You better wake up and stop listening to what such ladies say to appear happy in public cos their heart burns like furnace!

You peoples' master in Nigeria, Onyeka Onwelu is regretting today, ask people very close to her. Back then, she tot she was a happening lady as her songs and albums were selling here and there, so she kept fuming up n down and neglecting men. She is regretting today amidst the glossy happy face she puts up on media to belie her life ordeal/pain.

Party Obasi married her and divorced her cos she wasn't trustworthy.

So, ask that ur friend, she cries to bed every night okay? And to worsen the whole issue, she's selling bridal stuffs, lolz...eh yah...and for how long u think she would cope with romance/love machine Be honest and say the truth, she is dying silently...pray for her o, in fact, hook her up with ur brothers if any to rescue her before she commits suicide

And people don't only marry for sex, people marry mainly to have offsprings, to have someone to continue their lineage

#Teamkidsrock

I ask again, are you a Christian?

kulyie: but whay are you like this.from your post,you are clearly supporting polygamy and you dont mind if your wife and children suffer for it just to feed your banana.so a man can impregnate as many women as he likes but a woman should be the only morally upright person.mr man your post reeks of double standards

2ndly you said many single ladies will not marry.whoever told you that all the women in the world will marry or have a husband.ok,let me restrict it to naija,who told you every woman is interested in marriage or having a husband.i met a lady in a fast food restaurant recently.and while i sat down to eat,i just greeted her for courtesy sake.she appeared friendly and we got talking while eating and i was like this is past 4pm,wont you go home and fix dinner for your husband,how come you are still here and she was like duhhh,who told you i am married or interested in marriage.i said o,really,if youre cool with it,good for you.and she asked me what about you,i chuckled and said we share the same school of thought and she smiled at me saying very good.anyway,i left there after eating and exchanged complimentary cards.2days ago i called her on phone asking her when she will be around.she told me she is in her shop.i went there,in lagos island where she sells bridal accesories and different kinds of ankara.so i summoned courage and asked her,i was like mercy dont be angry with the question i am about to ask o,whenever you are horne,y,how do you cope.she says she uses her vibrator.i said,ok then.bottomline is you dont expect everyone to think the way you do,follow your sterotypes and all.if such life rocks her boat,fine.

That's why threads like this will never achieve anything

DailyNews: @Bukatyne, let me give u a little clarification on this.

Naturally, man is an animal, but a higher animal.

In animal kingdom, a male animal is always responsible for mating with lots of female animals for the purpose of reproduction.

Do you watch Animal planet channel? Try and be watching it from today.

Every male lion has his territory. Once a male lion enters Abuja for instance, he maps his territory and put signs to inform other male lions that he is present and so they keep off.

This male lion is always responsible for mating and impregnating all the female lions in his territory...another male lion can't dare to mate with a female lion in his territory unless he wants a real war.

This also happens in other animals...

And in the early beginning of the world, that was how it was in human kingdom. A man owns a particular kingdom and responsible for the women therein.

He marries as many women as he can fend for and bears as many children as possible.

But as civilisation came in, industrilisation and population explode began, resources began to get scarce and life became more difficult, so man began to reason for possible solutions.

As a higher animal, man discovered via civilisation that marrying so many wife amounted to a man not taking care of all his offspring and wives...so a campaign against polygamy arose.

So when u hear the clause: man is a polygamous animal, pls don't argue it...it is true but based on our own sense of reasoning and mutual understanding, we discovered that polygamy isn't a good practice because it doesn't favour the children and women in most cases.

But as it stands today, man has created even more problems for the world through some of the civilisation practices it invented.

Believe me, so many women will never find a husband to marry them. I am not trying to ridicule or mock the single ladies pls...just try and get my point.

For all women to be married at due age, polygamy should be there.

Reason Bible recorded that there will be a time when single women would beg men to please marry them so that they can just bear his name while they provide for themselves, and gradually it is happening in the whole world today.

So if you study it closely, man was naturally made polygamous to be able to tackle this issue of some women not finding husband or a man to be with.

Ask yourself: can a woman marry more than one husband and not have confusion as to who owns which baby How would she even bear the emotional stress of having to carter for two men at the same time I know in ancient India, etc philandry was being practised but that was never outright like in polygamy.

Don't look at it from a female or male perspective, look at it from a scholarly perspective and u will understand better.

Though I prefer to marry one wife cos I don't even want more than 2 kids.

DailyNews, you did not answer my question.

When you answer, I will write why I asked.

Thanks