₦airaland Forum

Nashville: Another thread that encourages people to condone cheating. May be these tips work when it is boyfriend and girlfriend because you have not exchanged any vows and each party can still do whatever they like. But sorry to say, if it is husband and wife, some of these advice just don't

1. You need to know who the other woman is. It might be a friend, relative or anyone else. You need to know how many and the kind of women your husband sleep with so that you can assess your own safety in terms of STDs. Sorry you should know.

3/6. An unrepentant cheat should not be condoned. If your husband is blatantly cheating and has chosen to continue with some woman, you should ask him if he is still interested in the marriage. You can forgive a cheating husband if he is ready to stop, but if he continues, then may be he needs to chose who he really wants to be with so that the woman can also move on if need be.

10. Telling his mother might be necessary. May be he needs someone else to talk sense into him and his family should also know who their son really is, so that if the woman decides to leave, then they can know why

7. Crying is not for sympathy, it just hurts to find out your husband is cheating.

Finally, would this same rules apply to the man if the woman was cheating? I think we should start educating our woman to know they are not helpless slaves in marriage and men also need to understand the importance of being faithful. The topic just seems to encourage men to cheat because there is nothing their wives can do about it abi? If she cant do all of these, what should she do? Aplogise to the man?

Nashville don't you read the Nigerian Bible?

Infact, I think the mods should start banning handles which post topics that don't add meaning to the society.

miredia: The simple answer is submit whether the conditions are favourable or not and the men should love whether favourable or not. Forget all d equality do-me-i-do-you stuffs. Those are sequels from rebellion.

In the OP, six questions were asked. The OP never stated that women should submit or not?

Just answer the six questions.

Thanks

P.S. You mean to say that husbands and wives are not equal?

I guess because the wife only feels in charge in her kitchen. This talk of wife owning the kitchen is nonsense. Who owns the sitting room, the room or the bathroom?

She should have waited until they are alone b/4 displaying this crazy attitude. She's not happy she has a man who is sensitive enough to even dish his soup sef. What if it was the type that would cross leg and be barking 'Iya B, where is the soup eh? Why are you so slow ke! Do you want me to die before my time ni?'

She should better apologize to him wella and crown it up with abunna!

I despise men and women who try to play with people esp people who love them

miredia: Your under-tone reeks of rebellion and "stronghead" and it sure is a thousand miles from the depiction of your selfless effort in attempting to salvage the presumed dysfunctoinality. Your piece is one-sided and altruistic. You are simply disgusted knowing these men are sexist, egotistic and in your strong view, imperious ; neglecting the call for women to submit to me.. Do not misconstrue love and modernity for haphazard living. Even in heaven there is orderliness, even in the animal kingdom there is serious orderliness- a striking example is the lion pride. Love in this context as understood and practised by me is provision - provision of care, security, financial e.t.c.... You as a woman should submit offcourse in reference to christain ideals. Sadly, most men do not hamper the provisional arm upon a woman's rebellion but a sizeable number of women quickly see it as a daunting or almost impossible task to submit once the tide turns against em. Women submit even if he is jerk. Men provide and love even if she's jezebel. These are my principles.

Miredia, I am sure you had another post in mind when you posted this.

I asked simple questions and require simple answers.

Thanks

miredia: when you get married then your views will be substantiated. Right now its like a bricklayer giving a pilot flying instructions.

Sorry but I know the kind of life I want to live and work towards it by God's grace.

minute: I'm only submissive sexually. To submit blindly is asking for abuse.I tend to have a soft approach in real life which might

lead some to think I'm submissive but I'm not. When it comes to letting him know what my limits are, I'm quite vocal about

it. I have a co-worker who is rather bossy but she has great points. She loved my heels/boots I had on last week and now is

sending me daily texts and e-mails telling me to wear more heels and boots that high and sexy. She is straight but loves to

tell us ladies what to wear. She has got great style and class and she has been one of the oldest Gyn nurse practitioners

around here, so I'll take her words . . . .hence my new heels today.


Don't matter who i submit to 99.9% of a chance, I'm getting turned on.

A lot of men don't even understand the principle of submission sef because they are not capable of loving.

I am sure that if the men can prove their love and goodwill and not talk to the their women rudely, she will be happy to do all to make them happy too

Princess zoe: What about men that Bleep outside, are they the christians you guys are talking about ? The word "christian" has been basterdized. A christian man fucking outside, smoking, beating the wife, been proud and arrogant, allowing his mother to destroy his marriage, knowingly drinking beer in excess , asking the wife not to wear trousers or look attractive yet admire women that dressed like that. Are all these characteristics christ like ? In as much as we have hypocrites, we have faithful christians and even faithful non christians. But we need christ in our lives.

Very True

The first picture is the best.

She's indeed beautiful

[quote author=ATM-CARD].U wld said d truth,y u dn't eat beans.Mayb exccessive polutn n nt spoiling it wit carbohydrate as u claimd.[/quote]Excuse me?

funny, I am getting 7

6/2(1 + 2)

=6 / (2 x 1) + (2 x 2)
=6 / 2 + 4

using BODMAS,

= 6 / 2 = 3 + 4
= 7


6 / 2(1 + 2) is not equal to 6 / (2(1 + 2))

ogugua88: [size=13pt]Whitney junior.[/size]

Junior or senior?

babyosisi: ROFL
Were you looking for moi moi with treasure inside?
Sorry I don't put liver and meat and fish and eggs and indomie plus nkwobi inside moi moi
If I want to eat fish,I don't put it inside moi moi
I grill or fry it and eat it on the side
Like so

Emm babyosisi,

Can I come and spend one night at your place?

[quote author=ATM-CARD].Tnk God u said once......dat means....THEN.Dat type of beans is 4 pple lik u dat eat beans n bread. [/quote]Wake up and smell the coffee man!

A man cooking is no longer a wonder as a woman driving!

I don't eat beans and bread. Infact, I try not to eat my beans with anything hence the orisirisi I add inside it because it's about the only protein food we really eat so I don't want to spoil it with carbohydrates.

#teameathealthy

Lilimax: ssshhhh...what is the derogatory term I used?
Ofe nmanu means Oily soup and so?

When did oily beans = oily soup?

It's all good. Let's not derail this lovely tread.

[quote author=ATM-CARD].Dear, apprct8 me 4 cukin d beans up2 dat stage.Men dey cuk 4 ur tribe?[/quote]Meaning?

A man once won the world's best chef.

ATM-Card, we ain't in the 11th century!

babyosisi: Nmanu means oil in Igbo
Beans nmanu means oily beans
The beans shown here is oily hence the term beans nmanu
What again are you talking about or you want to start trouble when there is none?

Take it slow...

I don't look/give for trouble

Let's call a truce...

Your beans looks tantalizing

babyosisi: Aren't you being tribal here for doing the same thing I.e pointing out the oil in the pot
Look at this person o

What does Ofe Mnanu mean?

I pointed it out without referring to any other thing apart from the oily beans.

It's all good.

Take care.

babyosisi: Please what is tribal about labeling an oily pot of beans,an oily pot of beans
Do you want me to say it has no oil
Or recognizing massive oil in a pot of food is tribal
Did anyone mention any tribe here?
Which one?
Say what you want to say without beating around the bush

You know that term is used in a demeaning way to refer to yorubas esp cooking.

I am not in the forest so there is no bush I am beating .

Anyways, I agree that the pot of beans was oily.

[quote author=ATM-CARD].Wat is d price of BEANS nw?As 4 GARRI.......as d PROVOST of GARRI ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA(GAN).[/quote]Hi,

The Palm oil in the beans is too much. Try to use a little oil so that it doesn't float in the water. When oil is done, it's usually yellowish and not reddish.

Happy beans chopping

Lilimax: Beans nmanu equals ofe nmanu

I think these comments (Lilimax and Babyosisi) are tribal.

Judge people individually and not based on tribe/colour/race.

I love beans too. Let moi share the way I cook mine:

1. Put the beans on fire and slice a lot of onions.

2. After 20mins, drop it (If you are using one stove/cooker ) and put frying pan on fire. Add a little groundnut oil and fry previously chopped onions, tomatoes and pepper.

3. Add the sauce to the beans and add a little palm oil, crayfish and diced plantain.

4. When the beans is cooked, garnish with ugwu leaves and steam for 2mins.

Your beans is ready for mass consumption!

alutacontinua: Can't believe I came late. Again!

Pele

vanitty: Hmmmmm we will have to explain to all this people born out of wedlock that they don't have a home afterall daddy didn't actually marry mummy , anyway I will just ignore your absurd definition of a home - that is just another thing entirely and I won't even bother

It is simple really and this whole issue is about RESPECT and UNDERSTANDING. Wives needs to stop having this sense of entitlement just because they got married. That will honestly solve a whole lot of marital problems.

Second reason why marriage will continue to be endured by some of us, Unrealistic competition. Why must a man say you are the most important?! Why can't you just appreciate the fact that he is in your life and respect that he has a family before you met him?! why do we have to be queen bee?!

Honestly, we women need to relax, a man will crown you his "queen" if it is that important to you without you even having to "fight" for it.

In social studies, a home consists of a father, mother and children.

Look at it this way; how many relatives from the wife still hold on to her and cause trouble for her husband?

The problem is that our society does not understand want marriage really means. We think the wife comes to join the husband in his family. A wife and husband come out from their individual families and cleave together to form another family. A wife is automatically her hubby's queen bee the day they walked down the aisle just how the husband is the wife's king the same day. Does the wife crown the husband her king when she feels like it?

The fact that something is common does not mean it is right.

Nashville: God bless you too my sister. Imagine someone suggesting a home is brother and sister, and the wive has come to join the home? I cannot laugh! I wonder what is being taught in marriage counseling classes these days!

It's really ridiculous! There is need for serious orientation in churches and other places. No wonder many women walk on egg shells in their homes. Afteral, she came to 'join' the man's family.

vanitty: Please stop assuming I meant what I didn’t say, if you don’t understand - ask

Stop being emotional and remove the rose tinted glasses and be logical

No I never said anyone should be treated like rubbish, what I said was, if you are not contributing financially to a marriage, yes your husband can tell you to pack out. As hard and difficult it might be for some of us to accept, yes he can tell you to pack out I am afraid.

If you don’t act like a matured person, yes people will disrespect you; in fact your children will disrespect you. Maturity is very important in life you see and yes the wife disrespected him, the sister disrespected him.

3It is a family home I am afraid, an EXTENDED family home. The wife moved IN to a home that was already established. That is what you are failing to understand. We don’t know what contribution the sister had made to the home prior to the MOVING IN of the wife.

Any person that has no source of income is a dependant; she is a “child” especially in an environment like Nigeria. You can call her spoilt, call her lazy etc. but she is still dependant, she has nowhere else to go!

You should be nice to your Spouse’s family ALL THE TIME. Don’t get married and have an attitude adjustment!

I don't know what you understand marriage to be BUT a home is NOT established until there is a husband and his wife i.e. there was NO home in the actual sense until Oga married wifey.

Marriage is NOT for everyone. If you know that your siblings are so important or your can't cleave to your wife/husband to become one flesh, please do not marry.

Nashville, God bless you.

dayokanu: If my boss slaps me, I slap back

I am sure that while slapping you are mentally typing your resignation letter.

Oya na, let the sister slap back and pack out.

dayokanu: By bending for her you mean the wife slaps her and she turns the other cheek?

Why should the SIL do something that will make her slapped? Let's say she's slapped, let her rub it and use it as a point of prayer to God to do her own.

If her brother slapped her, will she slap him back?

dayokanu: Now tell me what you want the sister to do.

The wife attacks her she defends herself, The wife insist she leaves the house she has nowhere to go in Lagos

What do you want her to do to please this wife and the brother?

If you have an impossible boss what do you do?

dayokanu: How do you know its the sister that has a problem with the boundaries and not the wife who is just being plain unreasonable?

If the wife is the unreasonable one, the sister would have found her cube root. No matter how the wife is, the sister has to bend for her or pack out!

dayokanu: Ruin his life how?

The wife assault the sister, The sister defends herself means the family is ruining his life?

maybe if they didnt sell the pepper to train him, His life would have been "RUINED ON ARRIVAL"

Dayo,

Let's be sincere. Imagine this same sister was living with her elder sister the whole community trained, will she watch her BIL walk out because of her?

Vikin: The sister doesn't answer to her but to her brother. SIL knew the wife through the brother, since the brother is confused at this point, something tells me the wife is the trouble here. She might be the queen but if she doesn't act like one, if am the husband I will dethrone her. How can a matured married lady run away from her kingdom with her babies because she wants to prove a point. Very childish I must say. Let the hubby leave her wherever she might be, when hungar mama am, she will find her way back.

Sorry I'm mobile so I can't type much.

The sister answers to both her brother and his wife. It's their home and she is a guest. If the wife was placed in her rightful position, all this wahala will not happen.

It all depends on upbringing anyways. Some people were not trained to respect other people's spaces and know their boundaries.