₦airaland Forum

Toks2008:
A BIG YES.

Men get carried away with what they see but women don't. It takes a lot to get a woman in bed. Her heart must have been off from her hubby before such thing can ever happen.

ecolime: You sound like such a woman.

alutacontinua:
I'm loving this topic.

Toks2008: I am a bible believing Holy spirit filled tongue blasting and GOD fearing believer. How else was i able to remain faithful to just one lady for 12 years till date if not by the spirit of GOD.

So i dont even want to argue this fact. If my wife cheats on me, its over. I will not divorce her but will torment her until she takes that walk by herself. Its not about forgiveness.

oyin50: madam pls can u shut up and stop degrading the sanctity of marraige...jeeez it is a bloody filthy shame for a married woman to cheat. Pls can all these lousy serial cheats just shut up and say what ur heart knows is simply wrong.

obyrich: Divorce was given as an acceptable alternative to stoning. If your spouse cheats on you and you decide to cheat back, both of you can either chose to remain in the unfaithful union or part ways. Christ did not approve stoning but he graciously approved divorce as a remedy to adultery.

Toks2008: Nothing happened to me,i was simply making my notion known. Nevertheless, where did you get your assertions from.

As far as im concerned i have divorced her even without going through the stress of filing for it and getting lawyer that will even make me spend more.

I dont want to go into explaining your comments to you cos i can see you are getting it all wrong. Which hell are you talking about? when the only reason for divorce is adultery. Abeg get your facts right.

livebullet: becos by nature , a man has more than 1 slot for a wife. God made it so. Each woman is made just 4 1 man.

plaetton: [/b]
WTF?
Who?
Is he my townsman?
Garbage.

The bible told me that god, at least the biblical one, does not forgive any sin. Just ask the Israelites.

Obviously some unforgiven people are going to hell, not so?
So For whom else is hell for?

genesisjohn: it is the same Bible that allows someone to divorse an adultrous woman

Toks2008: For about 12 years i have remained faithful to my wife simple because i'm a believer,i fear GOD and also respect her as well as love her so if catch her today sleeping with another man, do you expect me to still keep her as my wife? HELL NO! If as a man i restrained myself despite all these temptations moving around so why can't she do same?

Nevertheless, i will not go through teh stress of divorcing her but punish her more by getting married to another lady and i care less if the new lady is a confirmed akunakuna and leave the stress of walking away to her.

Toks2008: I advice you to rid yourself from this funny ideology.

A man naturally is polygamous except the one who chose to be decent in that aspect.

Ladies are expected to even remain virgins till night of the wedding so the fact that these days,things have changed does not give women the impetus to cheat on their spouse.

The physical,psychological and spiritual damage to the man's psyche will never make it easy for him to remain happy with the lady even if he forgives her especially if he caught her in the act. That picture will never ever go no matter how he tries.

On the other hand, divorcing her is no guarantee that you will get a better lady because the next lady might even be worse than the divorced wife.

My advice is that if your wife cheats on you, save yourself the stress of divorcing her if she is really sorry and repentant because some are never sorry for the shameful act.

But If you feel you really need to move on please do and get yourself another bitch but just don't go through the stress of divorce process cos she is not worth it. Let her take the walk by herself if she can't cope with you having another lady in your life. At least you saved her the shame of an adulteress divorcee

bukatyne: This is what gets to me.

Whatever opinions you have, leave God, the Bible and Christianity out of it if it doesn't tally with them.

Who told you that God doesn't forgive sins? What did Jesus Christ come to do? If he doesn't, will you still be alive?

plaetton: Big laugh.
Which adulterous woman? I do not recall ever reading about Jesus forgiving an adulterous woman. Kindly refresh my memory.
And by the way, was the woman his wife?

bukatyne: This is what gets to me.

Whatever opinions you have, leave God, the Bible and Christianity out of it if it doesn't tally with them.

Who told you that God doesn't forgive sins? What did Jesus Christ come to do? If he doesn't, will you still be alive?

plaetton: Who told you that god forgives your sin?
Keep deluding yourself.
And hell is whom then, the righteous?

Paentera: Well, because in reality, fingers are not equal for men and women.

thoexynne: Really??
.. This has nothing to do with "XTIANITY" but lets even debate the christian side of it. Even JESUS gives you the option to choose either to 4give or not to forgive..

JESUS said and i quote him ""anyone that divorce who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness..... Mt 5:32


Infidelity is an irreparable breach of trust, although we aren't perfect, but be very sure if she does it she's gonna do it again

plaetton: Remorseful?
Big laugh. Would you not be if you were caught red handed?
Are armed robbers not remorseful when they are caught?
C'mon man.
The problem with we Africans, perhaps especially Nigerians, is the we always put sentiments where they do not belong.
We always put the square peg in the round hole.
For a woman to commit adultery requires long serious forethought. Before a woman contemplates such actions, she has to mentally damn her husband and convince herself that her husband deserved the damnation and humiliation.
Secondly, by the time the husband had discovered, she would have been doing it for a very long time.
Thirdly, once a cheater, always a cheater.
Fourth, if you ever ever forgive a cheating wife, you are forever doomed.
You will drop to minus zero in her eyes.
You would have given her all the powers she only dreamed of. She will completely emasculate you and turn you into a vegetable of your former self.

Let god do the forgiving for that kind of stuff. You are not god. You are human.

plaetton: Don't mind these silly people pretentious people dishing out bad advice they never give to their own brothers.

What if the wife brought hiv/aids to her husband? Would these people be telling him to forgive?
They never seem never seem to answer the most important question of whether they would forgive if they were the victims.

Beloved1993: I am a Muslim woman, not mistreated but protected. I lived in the middle east for years, and its the most safest place I have ever lived. I have lived in Europe and Americas and I long to go back to the middle east. Its only in the middle east teenage girls can roam the malls at 2 am without any fear. I'm going to give u short replies to your points from my understanding.
1. Protection
2. The man is the head of the house, what if the guy doesn't let her practice her religion?
3. Protection (you most probably won't understand this point). And I used to cruise around with my cousins in our Escalade. I didn't have to do driving test cos I was a lady, got my license easily. Would most probably had failed the test then and the instructor knew that.
4. Protection. You hear of ladies going to western countries on vacation and getting harassed, raped or killed, I have never heard of such incidence in Saudi .
5. Have you seen the way the men dress in the middle east? Oh and I feel the safest when I am covered. And it is my choice to cover.
6. It is better to marry 4 wives than to live in sin with 4 girlfriends. Men are polygamous in nature. You guys have problems with men having 4 wives but you see no problem with the immorality of men with 4 girlfriends. And the Qur'an said 4 wives IF you can love and treat them equally, which many men can't do. Do you know how many Christians have many wives, uncountable. An aunt of mine became a Christian to marry a Christian just because she can't share husband and Muslim men marry many wives. Her husband married 2 wives after her, while no man in her Muslim family has more than 1 wife.

Now pls tell me, in our Nigeria, are women allowed to marry more than one husband? So what's ur point?

let me add never having to wait in line, being chauffeured around, I really don't like driving. Having doors opened for you wherever you are. Nobody whistling like dogs or leering at you. The utmost freedom and respect you get from everyone.

@poster, if you have never lived it, you don't know it. I enjoy my life.
women are maltreated round the world irrespective of religion, remember that.

maclatunji: If you want a high quality man, open your eyes and mind and you just might find one. What happens most times, is that people do the wrong things and expect the best results. Like attracts like most times, low quality men attract low quality women.

maclatunji: The wife should just be "the woman" the man will soften-up sooner rather than later most times. Like I said before, she can always walk-out if it all becomes "too much" for her.

DailyNews: you just committed another great offence some 21st century women do commit in their marriages which often leads to divorce.

Trying to be equal to men and comparing.

The moment gender equality gets so much into your head as a woman, you are finished, and take it or leave it, you can never make a good wife. Most feminists always end up single mothers or divorcees.

Trying to ensure that whatever you do, he must do, can lead to arguments and breakup. As a woman, you must learn to tolerate and ignore certain things, knowing that he is a man and has some natural lapses.

maclatunji: Sexual dissatisfaction is a basis for divorce under Islam. The only thing I would ask her is: "Have you tried enough to help him get his groove going with you?" If she says yes and insists on going, there is nothing to hold against her.

I know people change. However, there is a need to be objective when evaluating a potential spouse.

Nashville: I understand your points but cheating and running to other men is not a solution. Cheating does not solve any marital problem so it is never an option. If you are married to someone, you should know the person well enough to know when to bring discussions up. The man in this case is not a monster, the woman is just enjoying her new found friendship.

maclatunji: She is his wife, she should read and master his moods. She can leave if after making exceptional efforts in this regard and he does not yield. Do people just marry strangers these days or what? I know you cannot know someone in totality before marrying them but there has to be some qualities that you find attractive now or am I missing something?

biolabee: You brought bible here

You agree there must be a leader yet you don't acceot the man should lead the home

Nashville: You guys should be real for once. Two people are involved in a marriage and they should both take the blame if it fails - it is not always the man's fault.

I will first of all address the issue at hand. That women is cheating - simple. Any relationship you have with the opposite gender that you know your spouse would not approve of is cheating. You dont have to sleep together to start cheating. She is emotionally cheating on her husband.

And it is sooo easy for such a women to use her husband as an excuse. Cheating is cheating. By the time she is finished flirting with another man, she would find faults in everything her husband does so he will be the scapegoat.

Bottomline, men cheat and women cheat. And cheating is a choice. No one forces you to cheat and there is never a good reason to cheat. Just last week, my wife just booked a family holiday for easter saying we hadnt gone away for a while. I agreed and I refunded her the money because I realise we hadnt gone away at all this year and needed time to spend together. That is what a sensible woman should do and not resort to talking to other men!

No one is perfect, if your husband isnt doing enough of romantic stuff, why cant you bring it up? Anything wrong in a woman planning a family trip or even dinner? Cheating is a choice, never blame your spouse for it!