₦airaland Forum

alutacontinua: I'm not saying i'm inferior to him. It's just that you would agree if you have to submit to somebody, then, one way or the other, you have to see the person as a lil above you. Submission is not a thing of the mouth, the mind has a way of programming things in such a way that if you don't put someone in that position of 'you want to submit to the person', you just won't submit. If you see someone as your equal, trust me, there's no way you can submit to the person...you'll always see the person as a competitor. So, he's not my equal...he's my HEAD and i totally love that. If I no even get person to head me sef, my gra-gra go too mush...

And I'm not sad about the fact that I have to submit to my husband...was just kidding with the emoticon.

Then you are saying that all Christians are head of each other because we are expected to submit to one another

alutacontinua: Because God said I should submit to him
I cannot question that.

Why are you sad na?

You think submission makes us inferior?

Do you know that Christians are told to submit to one another? Does that make all Christians superior/inferior to each other? Eph 5:21, Romans 12:10,

alutacontinua: In everyday life, i have EQUAL RIGHTS with every other man out there. WE ARE EQUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's only my HUSBAND that is an exception to that. For all other men, we are equals.
Passionate88 and causewahala don't have any right greater than mine...

Why do you think you are not equal to your husband?

I want to assume you are a christian

carmelion: Yes!as long as they both have same opportinities-Education,Social circle,Same form of freedom,Same career opportunity, same everything,a man is still superior.

There are limits to what a woman.

Take for instance in the work place.I know positions like Customer care officers,Front desk/receptionists are mostly taken by women but,you might want to agree with me,guys do that also.

How many companies employ women drivers,especially those that has to do with inter-state driving? How about technical parts?Engineers?

Trust me when a woman manages to get to a 'masculine' positiob,it is seen as news.It is celebarted.


To me,the only thing feminine role that men are yet to play is everything that has to do with birthing.And that's because,of their natural inability to do that.

Please remind me,what else women can do which men cannot do?May be that will change my mind.

Thanks for your reply.

What kind of limits? societal? cultural? who created them?

The equality/ inequality is not as a result of abilities. Where the abilities would matter would be when women don't have the natural ability to do a task. Can you think of any task that a woman cannot naturally do by the virtue of she being a woman? a body part or thinking ability that she lacks? I am imagining a scenario that a woman and man are given the very same opportunities

God created us equal Gen 1: 26 - 31. God created man in His image; male and female He created them and He blessed them saying...

causewahala: Some of ur girls were throwing in the kitchen sink tactics @ feminism so I felt I might as well rep the boys! As per feminism itself, majority of those championing the cause barely understand it. Some guys are set in their way and believe they're all and all(quite archaic reasoning) those of us willing to be partners as we (male & female) mutually deem fit should be encouraged not castigated and lumped along with the others.
If you want to be treated with respect, there're things expected of you, if you meet your obligations and boify's not fulfilling his, then bounce, no be by force!

If I pay all your bills without complaining (particularly when you're empowered financially), don't cry foul if you see me creeping with ur bestie. I'll never lay my hands on you so long as you don't slap me first and start claiming you couldn't control your emotion, or you're a weaker vessel and should be allowed to express youself. . . I go DECK u life! Don't expect breakfast in bed if you always talk me into eating out and can't even do the dishes talkless of cooking when you come visiting.

Talking about equality, its simply an illusive idea some female like to cling to to get away with some ish! There's bound to be a head in any institution, bible supports it, society supports it. Whether it naturally belongs to the man is subject for discourse. However, men are doing better job leading, we don't blow salaries on LV bag and shoes, we provide security in terms of finance, physical and otherwise, and that leader(father) figure, I know ladies can equally do some of these but not all. we can do this all day cos I ain' even started yet!

Whatever parameter you choose, guys would still edge out babes! I know there're tasks babes can do guys can't, etc child bearing (talking natural things). There're also tasks reserve for guys naturally, we'd have to weigh it all and come to a midpoint.

How can guys edge out if there are some things a lady can do that they can't? How can we come to a midpoint if guys edge out?

There are a lot of wasteful men out there; there is NO vice distinct to one sex only

@ bolded: Would it be ok to say that your woman can creep with your bestie if she does all the chores esp if you are handicapped?

In all, I get the concept of your post; you should do unto others as you want others to do unto you. I agree.

carmelion: @Bukatyne,Yes they are equal,cos when it comes to beauty and intelligence,only one can serve while ,when it comes courage,then the other would lay back.Besides they are both students. To the point,just like men and women,they need each other to be complete.

But if within their class or school(marriage),any of them is commanded by the teacher(GOD) to RESPECT one amongst them(MEN,HUSBAND),then I think they are no longer equal,the respected one is greater.


There is a reason why that particular one, was chosen to be respected.

Hi, morning

There are really 2 angles:

Everyday interaction
Marriage

Ok, Lets go to everyday interaction: You believe a man is superior to a woman? i.e. a random man is superior to a random woman because he is a man?

alutacontinua: Let's assume I'm dealing with a man that is normal now, a man who loves and trusts me, RESPECTS me and my views and all of that. I suppose massage his ego for him too now...I have to make him feel like a man. He has the final say when it comes to issues, i listen to him, obey him, respect him and all of that. But if i'm dealing with a man who sees me as a property, GOD FORBID! Na to treat him like baggage too. You get my drift or I need to explain further...

I get your views...

It's tit for tat

I hope this topic will not detail this tread

alutacontinua: It means he's in charge of the family within the limits and confines of common sense.

You said you would not equalize yourself with your husband.

Please explain

[s]From the spiritual, God is in charge of the home[/s]

alutacontinua: I get your drift now.

I, as a lady, I don't like that. b[If any thing, my religion teaches me that my husband is my head. So, i would not equalize myself[/b] but I am a human being like him and he has to respect that and himself too. I'll take the good side of empowerment and dump the other side of it. I prefer it that way.

But, I like your side to it, though. Sounds interesting. Did I say good morning to you?

What do mean at the bolded?

What does 'a husband being the head' mean to you?

thehunted: I agree that this feminism thing came about cos some women were being maltreated. Some Nigerian babes don't even understand it fully. If u as a woman want to buy into this feminism thing the Nigerian way then
1. You must pay your own pride price. Afterall money spent on your education is for your own good.
2. You must contribute equally to the upkeep of the house with your husband.
3. You must do everything a man can do. No considerations.

Afterall,if u are strong enough to take a hard d1ck,u should be strong enough to do anything a man can do.

Is this the basis of feminism?

Do you believe men and women are equal?

passionate88: Men and women are not equal.. Men do respect women, but to consider them as equal!, na for where na?. Wetin women fit do?, can u do what a man can do?. Abeg. Make una no watch film or na documentary I go call am come imbibe everything dm talk. Feminism na western culture (e neva even dey fully accepted there sef). I talk am b4 nd I go talk am again, if una wan do d feminism of a thing, make una go d whole 9 yards, no go half way, if u go half way, e just b like wetin Jesus talk, u pt ur hand 4 d plough nd look back u no even fit to b call a woman talk more of feminist.

If a woman can beat a man floorless, does that mean that the woman is superior?

What is African culture?

causewahala: Generalization seems to be the order of the day here. Can any of you come out boldly and tell me these trait is applicable to all Nigerian males? I know a couple of guys who used to do stuffs for their babes way back in school including washing undies. . . na feminist like una tag them WEAKLING back then for assisting their babes. I know a more growing proportion of married guys who help out with daily chores. . . una go sit behind system begin generalize like person wey time leave behind in the 14th century!

Feminist(s) in the house, make una nor worry. That irritable institution called marriage go soon fade into oblivion and cohabitation will be the order of the day!

I go see who una wan form feminist for by then! Mtchew!

As for Carmy and her turn offs. . .

Is this in relation to my question or was this discussion ongoing?

carmelion: I think the question should be,where are we equal?

Is it in strength?

Or in bravery?Courage?

Where please?

I mean generally.

look at it this way, Sally and Sandy are two girls in a school.

Sally is taller, more beautiful, more brilliant than Sandy.

Sandy is more courageous than Sally.

Are they equal?

alutacontinua: One thing about human beings is that we always love to eat our cake and have it. Feminism has its own advantages and disadvantages. On the average, i'll say the advantages are more than the disadvantages. Infact, IF MANAGED WELL, it has almost no disadvantages. But as subomidoll has said, our men over-exaggerate things because their ego is just as mighty as mountain kilimanjaro. They want a lady who looks sexy in the house even after 4 children, works and contributes to the income of the family, speaks good english and is presentable to the society (all these are characteristics of 21st century women) but they still want to sit down in the sitting room reading newspaper or nairalanding while she does all the cooking, washing, cleaning and taking care of kids. That is what we call "Eating your cake and having it". They cannot have both. If they want a 21st century woman, they have to also become 21st century men. However, in their dictionary, the definition of a 21st century man is "A WEAK MAN WHO HAS NO LIVER INSIDE OF HIM".

However, I have to stress the part where I said "IF MANAGED WELL" because too much of everything is bad. Everything should have limits and we should be able to keep 'feminimism' in the limits of maximizing its benefits and reducing its negative effects. I don't see it as feminism though, i prefer to call it '21st century spirit'. And to say the truth, who really wants to go back to dwell in the 1850's.

Thanks for this

carmelion: Whether Men and Women are equal?As in which side?

Hmmm......smh, no they are not equal o!..
I believe there is a reason why they were created FIRST. But nevertheless, each gender has its own perculiar role to play.

I believe this topic works hand in hand with women empowerment. This thing started because women were being maltreated by their male counter part. So the society sought to give women a voice,which am in support.

But women should know their limits. Personally,I don't measure shoulders with men,cos most times,it robs someone of her feminity. The only place I would not mind contesting with a man is in maybe academics,every other thing I give way, as long as it doesn't de-humanise me(Violence/battery)

OK

Why do you think we are not equal?

carmelion: @passionate,thanks,I have heard you

@bukatyne, ,good to see you again.

Hmmmm......this debate hard o. Besides am yet to understand that word 'feminism'
Is it the same things as women liberation?Women empowerment?

Please I need to be cleared before I can contribute. Anybody?

Thanks dear

As for feminism, it seems to mean different things to different people. However, some men see 'it' as an affront to their authority (whatever that means).

OK, to keep it simple, do you believe a man and woman are equal?

[quote author=obo_man]lol... you very right.... Its a double dagger through ur heart. You caught ur wife sleeping with another man, and the law allows her to take half of your possession and ur kids when you divorce her...

Marital laws in western countries need reforming.. It is very pro women.[/quote]Martial laws or lack of in Nigeria need reforming ... It is very pro men.

Bawss1: ^ what season of the mentalist are you on? I'm currently on season 5.

Watching Young Justice season 2. I'm also watching The Cosby Show season 4, an old but lovely classic. How I manage to live a life despite all this TV surprises me.

currently on season 2

I have not watched the movie but a lot of people might relate with it because that's what they see around them. Movies acted based on the way things happen in the society are easy to relate with. It's very difficult to paint the black man evil to a black girl if all the black men around her (father, brother, neighbours) are good. A lot of guys in this forum have proven that the black man is a 'strong' man and will not take 'nonsense' from women like their white counterparts.

Watching Nollywood films reinforces the fact that some girls are waiting for MR TDHR to sweep them off their feet and put an end to their misery, some Nigerians believe in juju and all sorts to solve their problems, some MILs and SILs bully their DILs, Some rich kids are spoilt etc. These films are easier to believe because they are common occurrences around us

Perhaps if black men should learn to improve themselves and market themselves better the world would view them in a different light.

Most Tyler Perry films actually are actually acted from a Christian perspective if I am not mixing him up.

There is the good, bad and ugly in every race though.

lol! this is good

lynpetra: Relationship shud never be one-sided!

As in?

Is the sxx one sided?

Apart from sxx, what else does she offer the guy?

pc guru: I think a bit of House,Archer,Will and Grace,Modern Family and Mentalist would help Sarcasm Overflow

interesting series

Black Kenichi: At the bolded - That's not necessarily true. Women and children first off the sinking ship. Chivalry to women and children. Men having to fight in some god forsaken war by the powers that be.


I kinda agree


Woman are there own worst enemies!


Good for you!


At the bolded - That's the thing though, they can't. There are differences in biology that effect men and women. Strength wise, speed etc. These things effect how we deal with certain situation that can arise in our society. However I agree with the last sentence!

Woman have been suppressed and oppressed.

Saying men and women can't perform in the same capacity is like saying that women are superior than men because they can carry a pregnancy to term and deliver.

We are all equal with varying strengths as humans. I deal with people on an individual basis and not gender basis. Some women are stronger, faster, bigger than men and I am sure that would not make them superior to the men. I hate the fact that individuals do/don't possess certain abilities and it is pinned to their sex.

[quote author=Subomi-luv]^^^ A lot of black men have over exaggerated feminism. They blame it on everything black women do or think that they do not like or agree with.[/quote]How so?


please explain

Hi everyone especially carmiedoll

Let's have a debate:

Has feminism caused more problems that what it tried to solve?

Black Kenichi: Feminism, womanism, it's all the same bs to me. I don't agree with it. You should read my opening post of this thread!

Hi,

You can not deny that women are considered inferior in our society. However, if you say feminism has not been able to solve it or created new problems, that is another kettle of fish.

Like I said in an earlier post, there are really no rules to solve some of these problems. A rule cannot be created to ensure that DILs are not bullied by MILs and SILs etc.

I believe the change is from within. If a woman feels that she is equal to a man, she naturally attract men that think like her and appreciates her strength. Women need to develop their self esteem by remembering that they are wonderfully made by God. We should (if possible) have a source of income and something we do to make our world better. We should also know that we are a team. Women gang up against each other even more than men. A man would probably vote for a female candidate than a fellow female. I would say some females have crablike attitude; they don't want to progress and they will pull other girls trying to forge ahead.

I would say we should be assertive but know the boundary between assertiveness and rudeness. Don't let anybody tell you that you are inferior. As I am, there is absolutely no man that can tell he 'he's superior because he's a man'. I have gotten the consciousness of who I am

Yes feminism has brought the consciousness that women can function in the same capacity as men but feminism will not help us harness the strength we have. Even if a bill is passed that all girls be educated, the law cannot force the girls to be serious or have ambition/focus.

CAMEROONPRIDE: A lot of women, nicec for the first time you take the blame, but allow me to say this: a lot of women consider themselves inferior. That's all ,they have preconceived ideas, I know a lot of females folks when we work in groups who can take decision without males approval, afraid to do something wrong or being judged, when on the other hand men don't fear each others and call each other dumb then move on,

Women are always worrying about what people will say or think

Women do not consider themselves inferior; they have been brought up consciously and subconsciously to believe they are inferior.

biolabee: Ok..

But what is the relationship btw mils and men oppressing women

bukatyne: Biola,

Deborah was a Judge in the OT did not mean that women were not sidelined.

Like I stated in a previous post, it has to do with the subconscious belief that women are inferior to men. This belief shaped a lot of culture and traditions in existence till today.

Look at the idea of MILs troubling their DILs. How many trouble their SILs? Look at widow inheritance, marrying off the girl child etc.

I think what we really need is re-orientation. Once a man believe a woman is equal to him, voila!

He treats her how he would want to be treated.

The bolded.

A lot of women believe women are inferior to men and therefore, try to compensate for that by bulling (lower) females

Do she know he's thinking of marrying Rihanna?

what of the girl that claimed wizkid was the best thing that happened to her recently? Has he broken up with her?

biolabee: Nigerians.. yes afro centric... not sure

Again this bolded, i asked you how you were treated as an inferior being when you were in Nigeria you could not answer me
There are issues and with modernisation this things will fizzle me

I intend to train my daughters to the same level as my sons as i will treat them equally
I believe my spouse in due time shd rise to the top of her career

The Minister of Technology, Mobola Johnson was once CEO of Accenture
A woman i respect Mrs Bimbo Akintola... who became president of CITN and is a partner in Deloitte
Mrs Kuforiji Olubi headed accountants in Nigeria so did Dora who headed NafDac

The CTO of MTN was a woman

The former CEO of Oceanic and Ecobank were women....
Where is this issue you talk about in Nigeria that females are suffering and their case is hopeless
Lets not just have causes for causes sake

What is feminism in Nigeria trying to acheive

Biola,

Deborah was a Judge in the OT did not mean that women were not sidelined.

Like I stated in a previous post, it has to do with the subconscious belief that women are inferior to men. This belief shaped a lot of culture and traditions in existence till today.

Look at the idea of MILs troubling their DILs. How many trouble their SILs? Look at widow inheritance, marrying off the girl child etc.

I think what we really need is re-orientation. Once a man believe a woman is equal to him, voila!

He treats her how he would want to be treated.

She is very beautiful in the third pix