₦airaland Forum

edoairways:
Of what benefit is this to the service provider and customer?

NCC should tell us o.

Depends on what I need the money for.

If it is life or death, withdraw the amount needed.

If it is for flex, withdraw N5k

If it is for something that can wait, hold on.

Then we discuss our finances and ways of improvement because N60k is weekend flex money.

It cannot pay for a weekend stay in an average hotel.

Persephone1:
I thought this is only done in my church. Lol, these people will investigate everything even a member's tithe card to ensure both couples are financially okay for marriage.

Lol, you won't even need a father or mother to request for such tests before you tender them yourself.

I sight my fellow RCCG member.

Then the pregnancy test two days to the wedding at a hospital of their choice.

Some pastors even vet the house the couple intend to move to & they have a age band; 21yrs for women & 25yrs for men. Though I don't know if they would make exceptions sha.

Wahala won po!

When this grandpa talks, I am tempted to believe he is really Jubril of Sudan.

ExpressBooking:
Well I'd like to ask if you are the one marrying or your dad?

Your dad's role in your marriage at 38, should me advisory.

Does your dad want you to get married for the purpose of happiness and companionship or for the purpose of reproduction?

What do you want for yourself?.

Forcing or coercing the prospective wife to do a fertility test, might send the wrong reasons about the marriage to her. And trust me she will discuss it with people who will put such thoughts in her head, even if she wasn't that kind of person.

Equally be assured that if you choose to go ahead with ur marriage plans, and encounter fertility issues tomorrow, you won't dare speak to your family about it, it's your cross alone.

It all boils down to taking your decision for or against it, and standing by your decision. That's what makes you a man

A number of Churches request for these tests during counselling and the couple gladly oblige them.

I don't know the hullabaloo with the father's request.

Especially since it is a virtual relationship, the guy (who would be more mature here) should have said they go for those tests as soon as he thought her eligible for marriage.

The OP needs to lead his relationship and take initiative.

beekind:
Standing my ground will mean my dad, mom and other members of my own family will not attend the wedding cos my dad said he will not attend the wedding if she does not do a fertility test.
No I haven't met her physically yet, we have only been dating online for 10 months now and haven't had a chance to visit Naija but I am visiting naija and will spend 4 months in naija when I visit later this month.

You are engaged to a girl you have been dating online for ten months?



This sounds like comedy.

Whether fiction or not, I believe there are boundaries sensible people should not cross in the name of 'help' especially in today's world.

I also do not support 'saviour complex' that makes people want to jump into into situations they did not cause nor is their direct concern.

A man and woman have a toxic marriage; what is your stake in it that you continually entertain their 4 year old daughter in the age where every man is a rapist and pedophile and all sort of vile characters till they proven innocent?

If you are so concerned, call social workers, NGOs or report them to your landlord/landlady that they are disturbing the neighbourhood.

Or better still, relocate out of the house when your rent is due.

See how quick the mother of the girl turned against him. I mention the mother because she encouraged her daughter going to uncle's house when it suited her.

I hope people learn and stop dying foolishly.

Only Jesus Christ is the saviour of the world yet, He can't save everyone because they do not believe in Him.

WannaHowzit:
Indeed, the Premier did mention he had years of experience as a crime prevention volunteer

Nice one.

I honestly think it is a good human capital investment by the Govt.

They would have a loyal, grateful, dedicated crime fighter at the end of the exercise.

The person in the picture (I am seeing male/female) does not meet the qualification of the role (fit and agile).

However, the management/bosses/leadership might have recognised certain qualities in him that would make him an asset bar his weight.

In that case, they can make a special concession to train him specially to the ideal weight withon a specified period so they can benefit from the qualities he carries.

I hope he/she makes proud the people standing up for him/her.

pocohantas:
30yrs old extrovert without a job or skill.
On whose account is she extroverting?
Because you need money to be extroverted in Abuja of all places.

She doesn't call or check up on you and upon that, she still tell you say no connection. Data connection or what?

The first lady should never have been shortlisted. Not even for supplementary list.

@bold:

You are just cracking me up!

pocohantas:
If she is bidding her time, he should allow her sell the beauty products or whatever. In a short time she would gain financial independence and give him the divorce he desperately seeks. Everyone is happy...🙂 At least she doesn't plan to overburden him with child support since she would be financially stable.

@bold:

The West?

I don't trust them one mile.

Their style of fight (divorce) is to the death (wreckage of the man).

pocohantas:
She does it so easily and without guilt.
I suspect it is something she does professionally. I bet in his wife's head she is just doing what she has to do and so far as she isn't cheating, nothing wrong. No woman would cheat, keep cheating, refuse to separate and still act meek when he calls and tracks her. If she were indeed that terrible, he wouldn't remain or take her to the UK.

😆😂😆😂😆 @ lying professionally

Maybe she is bidding her time, maybe she wants the kids to grow or she still likes his money.

Or she might just be bringing work home like you said 😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄.

Happy birthday Oghenetega, God bless you.

pocohantas:
Quack company. No reasonable or reputable company delays salaries.

The ones that do so, it is like an employment bond to them. That way their staff can't resign unofficially at the end of the month. You have to wait until 8th or maybe 14th to get paid.

Government agencies use the money to do business. Years back they used to put it in fixed deposit and share the interest after three months. Put another three months again, rinse and repeat.

Characteristics of Lekki Company.Com

Why do they still bother with marriage in Portugal, Luxembourg, Spain and the likes?

Natbrowny:
Satan and demons are proud.. What a delicious goal by striker of the demon world

twang414:
In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. Yes we have had issues which obviously led to me knowing she cheated on me, but u know women u cant catch them red handed unless you are lucky, That aside though cos I have gba kamun that whatever she wants to do she can do, I am busy trying to work my ass out to sort bills, but one thing you all need to understand that am surprised is not being pointed out is if equality is the main thing in this country, how can a man paying almost 80% of the bills is being treated un-equal? What happened 3 days ago wasnt me trying to track her or whatever, she had left the house since 9am, promised to be back by 3pm, and I had an appointment with someone for 4pm, and u cant leave kids at home here if u are caught, kids will be taken from you. So my major reason for the call was to inquire as to how close she was getting even though the time she was suppose to be home had elapsed. Na her hustle she find go, na my own hustle me sef dey find go knowing fully well i have even more to spend, am i suppose to be put under that kind of situation?

I really do have questions for some people saying am stalking my wife and she should be allowed to live her life. Is that truly what marriage is all about, if you guys that stated that are truly married, is it normal to u that if u call ur wife she dont take ur calls? Does it mean that she can be out there and come back anytime she wants without a legit explanation when we both have responsibility to take and tend to the needs and attention of the kids. I am really lost here.

If you had these issues before travelling out, you shouldn't have travelled with your wife (if you still value the marriage) or at all.

This forum, online and offline were filled with enough experience to learn.

Since you have decided to go to Rome, it's best you learn to live as Romans do.

Even my husband cannot come and go as he pleases or be in Sagamu and tell me he is in Abeokuta. However, posters familiar with UK's lifestyle have told you to get used to it or go for counselling (hopefully, doesn't count against you in future).

I really do not know why you pay 80% of the bills when your wife works. Again, this is not Nigeria where such behaviour is rewarded. If God forbid you both divorce,
her lawyer can comfortably argue that you pay alimony to ensure she maintains the current lifestyle you have created for her.

Since you decided to migrate to the UK with a problematic wife (according to you), seat down, purge yourself of Nigerian mindset and buckle your shoes. People have advised you get a lawyer; I would opine that a lawyer is more important to you than a counsellor at this point.

I thought 'count the cost marriage wise before migration' was NL's doom story till friends who migrated iterated same thing over and over and mentioning marriages scattering left, right and center.

P.S.: if she wants to walk away, better embrace the Biblical injunction and let her go.

Ire o.

NemoDatQuod:
You had trust issues. Yet you agreed to come to the UK with your wife. I suspect you are the guy who was on here last year seeking counsel on this same issue, while you were still in Nigeria. Yet you came along with her.

My suggestion is, stop what you are doing right now. You are controlling your wife and if she uses that as evidence against you in the future, you will go to prison for a long while. Your wife is not your property. She has a right to go anywhere she wants to and come back when she wants or likes, without having to be troubled by you with phone calls and requests for video call evidence. That is the view of the governmental authorities here. What you have already done in calling her as you have been doing is termed controlling behaviour. Google it and check out the sentencing that will be imposed. Now her friend has become involved and will serve as a witness of your controlling behaviour and her part in pacifying you.

You brought your master to the UK against the advice you were given here last year. Learn to live with it. If you go to prison, you will regret life in this country. I know someone who is currently in prison because of this. All his hopes and aspirations are dashed at such a young age. Be very careful. Don't go ruining your life. Treat your wife as an equal partner who has her own choices, makes her own friends, goes and comes as she pleases. That is a friendly advice if you do not want to spend time serving His Majesty. And you know what happens when you are done serving His Majesty.

If you manage to come out of this unscathed, next time take very good care who you marry. Your partner practically has the power of life and death over you in this country.

@bold:

Cracking me up!

Mindlog:
No be only Nigerian artisans, Pakistani artisans dey the same Whatsapp group. My neighbour hired a bathroom renovator who is Pakistani alongside his worker, dem go come work 9a.m and work till 1p.m and give the excuse they are going for lunch, they drive off in their van, only to return around 5p.m and work for another 30 mins and call it a day....dem dey run 2 projects at the same time!

My neighbour had to bear their shenanigans because she was paying them less than what a White British contractor would have charged.

Is a four-hour break really unreasonable for a eight-hour job?

The judgement of artisans ehn, must be special because normal human scale would break!

pocohantas:
In all this your CIA work, you have never seen that she is with a man or in a man's house. I also like the fact that you don't rely on "them say...them say", but do the work and come up with evidence of where she is. These places come out clean, the problem is she distorts facts. That counts for something.

The issue here is that you might be a possessive partner, so she has to twist things a bit. It is bad, very bad, but many partners do it when they know who they are dating/married to.

If she is picking other calls but not picking yours ALONE, then wherever she went to, wasn't the worst place to be. If you were a woman, you will be advised to give your husband breathing space. Stop checking his phones and or monitoring him.

So, I will suggest you don't give yourself high bp. Is this grounds for separation? I can't be the one to tell you the level of emotional abuse you should endure. That decision is yours to take.

Your wife has the characteristics of a Nigerian tailor or artisan. Is she one?

@bold:

Warris this?

GEJDHERO:
PLS I NEED ADVICE .Am on a crossroad..i know i have to settle down soonest but i also desperately need to buy a new car.I HAVE BEEN USING MY OLD CAR FOR 10YRS NOW

Please buy the car.

If you are comparing marriage with getting a new car, then you are not ready to marry.

iwaeda:
https://twitter.com/MobilePunch/status/1652961954611200002

Congratulations Tiwa.

I wish her a easy journey, her first was tough.

Printerscanner:
I think there is need to perform sacrifice so that this Omotunde will get husband.

Serious head cleansing ceremony.

Motunde, o tun ti de!

Mindlog:
The middle ground is government being involved in the overseas recruitment of Nigerian doctors trained in our public universities.

Let me cite an example, the former Kenyan President went to the UK in 2021 and signed a bilateral agreement with the UK to supply their health sector with thousands of Kenyan trained nurses who were at that time not employed, for each Kenyan nurse recruited to work in the UK, the UK govt pays the Kenyan government certain amount alongside "something" from the Nurses' salary.

Here is an excerpt of what their President announced today "President William Ruto on Monday said his government is seeking to sign ten new bilateral agreements that will see Kenya send more workers to European, North American and Middle Eastern countries. Addressing Kenyans during the Labour Day celebrations at Uhuru Gardens in Nairobi, the president said most of these will go to Germany, which he said has recently been lobbying for Kenyan workers. He said he will host the German Chancellor Olaf Scholz in the country later this week and sign bilateral labour agreements to that effect"

Cuba government make money from sending their doctors to go work overseas, Nigeria can also do that so that money for subsidizing medical education in public universities can be funded with those earned foreign currencies as we become a conveyor belt for trained medical doctors as we have many young Nigerians who are very eager to study medicine.

Quite interesting.

A win for both parties.

That way, the Govt can regulate if they are serious and truth worthy.

Shokoloko:
1. For number 1 he says he will consider furthering his education in the distant future. When I asked him if the distant future was within the next five years, he got upset with her and I did not pursue further.

2. He isn't insisting he stays in Canada. He is open to her returning if she can get another well-paying job in Nigeria.

3. He is not open to her being a stay at home mum for whatever time it take her to find a job.

4. Note in Nigeria, he is at work for weeks at a time so Mrs. is used to not seeing her spouse for weeks at a time

5. Neither one of them is aware of a second family.

6. He is very opposed to the divorce but he will not consider relocating.

7. Mrs. wants Mr. to follow whatever dream makes him happy, including politics.

1. From his antecedents, we can say no show I.e. he is not furthering his education

2 - 4: He doesn'tind her returning but doesn't want her staying at home till she gets another job. If he is away weeks on end and earns $3k plus monthly in Nigeria, shouldn't he be more open to her staying at home for a while to help their daughter settle in?

5. Hmmmmm

6. Hmmmmmmm

7. OK, is she open to supporting him?

What I hear from the husband is that he no longer wants the marriage however, wants to frustrate the wife to divorce herself so he can absolve himself of blame.

He is not willing to compromise in any area.

God teach you & the wife what to do in this case.

Mindlog:
Fact is, medical training is damn too cheap in Nigeria. The foremost public university in Kenya which is the University of Nairobi, their tuition per year for Kenyans studying medicine there is not less than N3.2m. which your family must pay if you are self-sponsored and not on govt loan or scholarship.

So what do you suggest as a middle ground?

While Ngige makes sense, he and his crew do not have the moral stand to oppose Medical personnel leaving as soon as they can because they have failed to equip the health institutions, create healthy working conditions for health care workers, and renumerate them properly.

They have also not addressed their disgraceful habit of medical tourism.

In Summary:

1. Mr. made Mrs. believe that he was onboard relocation prior to marriage because it seemed a deal breaker for her and Mr. wanted the marriage.

2 . During the process, he changed his tune and said she goes first hence did not contribute to the process

3. He got a job of $3k monthly and decided to join politics since his certs are fake as Nigerian politics would guarantee continued income

4. He wants to visit them once a year rather than work out a plan for them to be together.

5. Madam wants to move on after discovering the certs are fake and she doesn't want a long distance marriage.

Unfortunately, they are both poorly matched from the beginning and this is because the husband married her under false pretext. He knew he couldn't go to Canada with her yet strung her along. The work of building the marriage afresh lies with him:
1. Is he willing to get further education and certification in line with his career?
2. Why is he satisfied with seeing his family once a year? Does he intend to build another family in Nigeria? Or is he trying to shield them from the roforofo of Nigerian politics when he goes mainstream? Is that why he insists she stays in Canada?
3. What has he said about the divorce?
4. What is the wife’s position about his political ambition?

ahnie:
Stop shifting the blames on her pregnancy,she's a toxic person,and I fear she will harm this man sooner after effeminating him.

Rutimillz:
A good woman builds her home not crashing it

Who crashed the home in this case:

The adulterous husband or the wife who cannot stand adultery?

dawnomike:
Every woman, especially wives should endeavour to be financially empowered!!!

That is actually the lesson in the OP.

From your own examples, the rumours have a bit of substance perhaps embellished.

1. You stake a bet with a married man that if he successfully woos a lady, you would give him N10k. Do you understand that you are encouraging a man to commit adultery? While he is ultimately responsible for his choice, you are aiding and abetting him hence his wife is very correct.

2. You bought a partly stolen(it is either stolen or not), partly used laptop for approx N13k. Your neighbours thought you bought it in a honest way and accessed the laptop's value based on the market value. Now, I do not know the living arrangements you have that your neighbours know every new thing you buy however, they are right to assume you have hammered given your new purchase and clean up. Do they have the right to harass you, definitely not.

I would advise you re-evaluate your life style and live a blameless life before accusing people of starting rumours about you.