₦airaland Forum

xynerise:
The thing just tire me o. My uncle is going through same issue

What changed in you uncle's marriage?

Did they have a good marriage in Nigeria?

Not 'Nigerian' definition of good marriage. A marriage where they were both happy and respectable to themselves.

eben97:
Our marriages are subsidized here...a lot of things we claim as right(particularly for the man) over here appears totally wrong in UK and we know the average woman like "freedom of everything"!!and once UK system favors Thier course ,what do u expect ?there's no family member to report cases of misbehaviors to, no pastor (in real sense as most hardly attend church after sometime due to wanting to meet up Bills and satisfy desires) to help settle differences, and because the average woman can be short fused ,u see explosions interms of divorce.Most women over there won't cope with the family life style we manage with over here.So no matter the level of unity , understanding the couple display here in Nigeria, it would surely be tested overtime as they try to settle there, finally, negative influence from friends and other fully settled relatives play the major role here.

Marriages are subsidised here?

😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂

Mindlog:
Were they truly "happily married" while still in Nigeria?

The Nigerian environment tends to subsidize a lot of unhealthy marriages and then tagged a "happy marriage".

A lot of things need unlearning but some are stuck in their ways... one said it was emasculating doing the dishes.😆😆😆

That reminds me of a draft dissertation of a Nigerian Psychology postgraduate student, I read and it was really insightful as it focused on the breakdown in marital relationships of some Nigerian migrants to the UK as the focus.

The project detailed how the UK system hits hard on Nigerian husbands who are so high on control and submission as the UK system deflates these. The researcher also brought up the demystication of income which counters many threads here that advocates a man should not let his wife know how much his income is but here in the UK, the wife knows it before it even reaches the man's account and the system forces the couples to be more open about their finances and they are forced to make joint decisions as it forces accountable leadership on husbands as against the lordship status, they "enjoyed" in Nigeria ....d person write many, many for the dissertation.😆😆😆😆

TBH, any couple serious about japa today need to settle and agree on a lot of stuff before leaving like the poster I quoted yesterday opined especially if they run the 'Nigerian' marriage here.

Would like to read the dissertation. Did he also go a step further to compare and contrast with Asians?

sholatech:
Families need to decide and agree on so many issues before Japa anywhere

This.

Besides, I have seen a woman advised to lock up and endure her 'misbehaving' husband because he was planning to relocate them to Canada and divorce him thereafter.

Tonytonex:
please Monday by what time will she break the record?

And does she cook through
Out the night also?

I read somewhere that by 4pm tomorrow, she would have.

Yes, she has 30mins break every six hours where she relaxes/ reliefs herself/ sleeps/ undergoes check up in an ambulance.

If true, the husband should move on if the woman requests for a divorce.

Then he goes to the God who is the righteous judge and just rewarder and see wonders.

Depends on the kind of home you want to run financially.

We run 100% joint account so we both know everything financial about ourselves.

A nice gesture from Gov Sanwoolu.

I pray for divine strength for her.

Monday is almost here.

Ha!

May God console his family and all he left behind.

I pray she has the strength to reach the finishing line.

GEEBITE:
I am really shocked by many comments here. My late dad called our last born son Tim(Timothy) till his demise despite that my brother in law gave him Joshua as his Hebrew name. My dad said the boy is a replica of his brother who went by that name too. My brother in law had no issues with it at all and he even called him that name too in my Dad's presence as a mark of respect.
The funny thing is this OP is oblivious
that Jeremy is the anglicised version of Jeremiah just like Steve and Stephen or even Jack and John.

Na wa for what peeps choose to 'fight' on.

Waffarianman:
It's easy except you don't wanna man up and take the bull🐂 by it's horn. same shit happened to me some time back and I changed the narrative that's all. I told my wife that her parents to stop the names they called my son's maybe she's afraid to tell them then I personally told my father in-law to stop the name he called my kids he stated quoting laws I just kukuma free ahm... I just tell him to his face that my kids are not coming holiday at his house again he fear till today I warn my wife not to take my kids to her parents place. It's like 5yrs now my kids never visit there let's see how you call my kids different name.. just man up bro you'll defeat them it's easy..... I be full blood warri I don't take rubbish that's all

Commander-in-Chief, well done o!

Some women dey marry o!

Buddha3:
My brother, I'm very weak.

I opened this thread solely because of boredom cause I suspected it was going to annoy me, and that turned out to be the case. This OP is either immature or a colossal idiot. And e no fit better for the mod wey move this nonsense to front page!

My son's name is Cedric, but his maternal grandmother prefers to call him Joseph even after naming him "Adopisa".

Please, why is this supposed to be an issue? Are you people not mad like this in this new generation?!

@bold:

😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣

May God console his family and friends.

Amen.

It is one thing to support APC/ Tinubu, it is another to retain your senses whilst doing it.

Oma se o!

Acidosis:
If you have any semblance of shame, you will not compare the overseas lifestyle of a rapper to that of a two-term governor, ex-senator, political godfather, president-select, and mandate-thief.


It's only a matter of time before y'all, reprobates, compare the japa trips of ordinary citizens to Tinubu's trips.

They obviously lack shame and common sense!

MRDEE01:
Congratulations sir.

Your coast is enlarging

Abi o!

Ikan eni o le dimeji (abi ko posi) ko binu.

Dadadididacontr:
It the first harvest from different varieties of crops on my 15 acres farm.
The output is encouraging despite inconsistent water supply.
The best bet is irrigation system which is in progress.

This is the second truck load trip to market

Congratulations!

Ojo Ikore, ojo ikore de .......

I am still looking for the supposed house girl in the video

The girl is so little, obviously can't take care of herself.

Sighs.

RemoveKebab:
That's why we need to introduce child support law in Nigeria similar to that of U.S.

It prevents unnecessary life time suffering of innocent souls just because of someone's 5mins of enjoyment.

How would child support help them in this case?

Persephone1:
I have never seen it happen! These people take pride in handling ceremonies and sending daughters to their husbands with bountiful gifts and joy. It's a nice culture as it gives women liberty and a sense of relevance. I like the fact that families do not neglect their daughters after marriage. I think I prefer to be actively involved in running my family and have a say than to be taken care of all the time and shut out of important decisions, meetings, and matters.

You are right about having high numbers of deadbeat fathers though.

Someone once opined that is the reason why more Igbo women are inclined towards feminism.

All the things feminism supposedly gives, a Yoruba woman has it. She can (must) work, she is not educationally discriminated against, she has autonomy over her funds, she inherits from her family, she has a say in the family, single motherhood is not particularly discriminated against and to a large extent is in charge of herself. All these is at a cost though: there is no 'oriaku' system so she generally must be willing to hold the forte financially and domestically.

As a result, it is difficult for an average Yoruba woman to rest in her feminine. She always has to be in charge and control everything. 🙄

You know that most fathers return the bride price because they are not selling their daughters

Houseofglam7:
They didn’t just bring red flags 🚩, it’s a fuqin carnival 🎡 ĺ
Congratulations, the circus 🎪 is in town.

Arbiter9:
So she kidnapped her own child and told the husband to pay ransom to another guy? There is more to this story.

The guy might be a relative.

Obviously, the woman cannot drop her own account na.

@OP:

Kidnapping the daughter made them reconcile?

Toor!

Persephone1:
Culture differs and may influence opinions. Where I'm from, the bride's family shoulders the major responsibility when it comes to the wedding ceremony. The bride's parent carries most, and the couple supports them. Due to the economic situation, both the groom, the bride, and the bride's parents share the bills while the groom's parents support them.

Most brides consider what happens after the wedding so they hardly ever allow a man to go too extra. Yeah. You will see the color, the glamour, the flamboyant owambe but believe me behind it all is combine deliberations and calculations from both couple and parents. Nobody wants their daughter to end up soaking gaarri after wedding. It is very rare for wedding to be fully sponsored by the groom, that's a slap on Yoruba parents .

@ Bold:

An average Yoruba family rather go destitute than let the groom foot most of the bills

However, I think that's why marriages are the way they are in Yorubaland:

That a large number of the men have no shame allowing the wife handle most of the financial responsibility at home without doing anything about it (not talking of a husband earning lower than the wife; I am talking of the husband not working hard enough to take care of his family financially or not making efforts to get another job etc.) and still be useless domestically.

And also their ability to suspend fatherhood and pick it up when it suits them (after the mother has struggled to bring up the kids alone).

Thankfully, they are doing better now apart from Lagos husbands who have modernised the ills of their ancestors.

Persephone1:
The consistency with which you all sit and come up with write ups and topics that centers on women all the time should be studied in uni. Sadly you don't maintain this energy in researching how to make your lives and country better.
Tsk tsk tsk

Right from the Garden of Eden, men cannot do without women.

They recognise this so rather than sprout 'independent man', I don't need a woman nonsense women sprout, they seek to control the engagement and interaction especially those who still have stony, unregenerated hearts.

Till the world comes to an end, they will keep writing

The way some Nigerians reason to the left sha.

We truly deserve the leaders we have.

obaidan:
Bashir is not bright at all....is Falz in a position to build hospitals....this is the problem, the people Nigerians elect don't even understand complaints of Nigerians.

He is really not bright.

blowjohn:
Quit running frm the truth.
Celebrities insukting government officials for going abroad for treatment, yet doing same

Ask yourself why the celebrities are 'insulting' the government officials.

That would give you the clarity why Bashir's position is senseless.

HITsquad:
I don't like Tiwa's personality atall. but there's nothing wrong with her performance. everything is not about politics. the so called African-Americans criticising her, what have they done to their own oppressors in the US? don't they perform and jump like little monkeys when invited to the white house?
America as a whole is just jealous of the British monarchy,they jealous it wasn't them,they jealous the global attention the British monarchy gets.
America just wants everything in this life to be about them and about them alone.. no one else gets any!
America is the one sponsoring and hyping the recent anti monarchy sentiment In Britain.
British monarchy is beautiful... it made Britain really special and unique... the bloody Yankees are just jealous that all they have is the Kardashian family.

It wasn't King Charles who invaded Africa,it was his ancestors. and there's nothing they took from us that our own politicians haven't stolen a hundred times and still stealing till tomorrow. we were not the only country that was occupied by great British. even the US was ruled by the British monarchy. Australia, Canada and many other countries are still officially under the British monarchy till today. but they are all successful nations and doing great...

we Black people should stop blaming everyone else for our failure as a race! it's annoying. since how many decades the British left still no development no progress... we were even doing better under the British. immediately they handed everything over to us we ran everything down and then turned around to blame the world for our failure... very annoying and disgusting... something is definitely not right in our DNA smh

@bold

💯

Until these people move onfrom their victimhood mentality, they will continue to have issues.

Africa was not the only colony in the world. Several countries were colonized, they got their freedom through diplomacy/war and moved on to improve their country and grow.

It is well o; the shackles of victimhood is so heavy.

Stonecoldstare1:
A club is not a strip joint and she went with her friends to have fun if you see the video, harmless fun. If her husband did the same thing, it's still no biggy

There are some things you become above by the virtue of your age or position.

It is wrong for a PM of a country to be caught doing such.

If she wanted to have extra marital affairs or club, she should have done it privately. She has the power to shut down the club; get a new 'club' built for her etc.

baralatie:
The divorce was for the protection of her family.
Now that she is a more publicly known person in a russia.nato.europe and USA.
The quite life they had back then won't be easy and it is the guy that will be used against her.
So the guy will agree to free her to protect her child and herself

From the OP, she has finished her tenure so if the divorce was for protection, she should have done it when she became the Prime Minister.