₦airaland Forum

FairlyUSEDpussy:
Well.......I'm a Christian and I don't argue carnally.........."women pray for your husbands"is a commandment from God.........

I cud drop so many bible verse on that.......

Can u just pick one verse in the Bible that support husband pray for yo wives??

You are a Christian and you don’t know a Bible verse or an instance that supports praying for your wife.

1. Please, which Church do you attend?
2. Which Bible verses talk of praying for the husband or where this commandment was issued?
3. What is the difference between a man and a woman?

Klass99:
The same conclusion I came to when he didn't answer. What they cannot take, tolerate or endure, is the very thing they expect a woman to take, tolerate and endure. They can't handle half of what they dish out.

A 50 year old woman woke up one day to the realization that her husband was never going to change and the domestic violence she suffered at his hands would never stop either. This was after she spent the better half of her life fasting and praying for him.

She got married in her 20s, at 25 I believe, because at the time her story aired on radio the marriage was 25 years old and she was 50 years old, when she decided enough is enough I am getting a divorce. Her reality makes me extremely wary of the fast and pray advice for women.

While I believe in God and the place of prayer, there is also a place for using our God given capacity to think. My bible explains it well - when you pour out your heart to God in prayer, do not turn off your capacity to think. It goes on to say true Christianity is not thoughtless emotionalism or barren intellectualism.

I am not one to tarry needlessly in prayers and fasting for a grown man who should know better (like the gambler) or for a marriage that doesn't guarantee me a spot in heaven abeg. When e do me, I will truthfully tell the Lord I am tired and done praying about this. Let every man work out his salvation I am not a second saviour commissioned to save anyone's life.

@bold:

😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂

Karleb:
Because it's mostly easier for me to abandon their families and start a new life than the women and men are mostly the bread winner.

@

CHoccolaTE:
Ok, thanks a lot ma.

The post above is a reference.

The advice is from a traditional point of view

A Christian man for instance would know that he 'cannot' abandon his family.

CHoccolaTE:
1. I understand what you mean, many men, especially Africans, see women as lesser creatures that were put on earth to satisfy men and should be controlled. They don't see them as equal humans that deserve love and respect.

2. I think males just have an innate disdain for females

3. which religion tries to suppress but fails in many cases

except in cases where the male is punished for failing to show civility and respect to females, like is done in Western countries for instance.

1. It is not any African thing. For instance, The Red Pill movement did not start in Africa. Some people have argued that women fared better in Africa before the colonial masters.

2. I wouldn't say disdain; I would say desire to dominate (not lead) which can be traced to Genesis after the fall of man. Before Eve gave Adam the fruit to eat, Adam saw her as his other half; he called her the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh etc. After the eating of the fruit, he named her Eve (mother of all things). One, that naming was what he did to all other things he dominated. 2. He no longer saw he in relation to himself. One of the consequences of the fall was that (a woman would always desire a man and he would dominate/rule over her).

3. I would speak for Christianity: a Christian man (not Church goer, not pastor, not evangelist etc.) would not have that 'desire to dominate' because his mind has been renewed.

Other tools used to curb this is upbringing & when a man genuinely loves a woman.

Interestingly, a lot of women are operating from the place of been dominated. They either believe that:
a. Men & women are not equal in worth. This is different from believing they are not equal as in same. These type of women are open to accepting whatever vices the man brings onboard; afterall he is a man. Such a woman might be active in Church; she is not operating from Biblical knowledge either.

b. Men are superior and so they are playing catch up with feminism to become 'equal' with men. They disdain their womanhood and compare everything to a man. Men do this, we must also.

Klass99:
I sincerely hope so. Because I recall reading the Final Quest by Rick Joyner and one of the things he said he noticed from his visions and time with Yeshua, was that The Lord's army is mostly made up of women and children.

Meaning - women and children are mostly the ones who are quick to believe, the ones standing in faith, holding on to their faith and persevering in the place of prayer, bible reading/studies, godly and good deeds etc.

That was my understanding and interpretation though. When I vet what he said and saw in heaven, against what I see here on earth in my world and my space......Rick Joyner wasn't off point at all. Note - he didn't say there were no men, but women and children were the bulk of His army.

While you are correct that women & children are more in the faith, it doesn't negate my post; it actually buttresses it. Remember I said NL is not a place to find such advice because most of them aren't Christians.

Where Christian men gather, they are advised to pray for their wives.

The issue addressed in your post: the standing men are trying to ginger themselves to be more serious with Spiritual matters.

While the men like to claim they are the head (e.g. like a poster on this thread), they fail to understand that they are amongst other things the priest of the home and should lead in Spiritual matters. They believe the burden of prayer is on the wives which sadly a lot of wives believe too.

Again, women are more likely to turn to religion when encountering issues in their lives especially from marriage & children.

Emmanuel909090:
I'm not praising the man either, if divorce is the first thing that come to your mind in any little problem, you are not supposed to marry, just stay single, there are other remedies.

Why not show him more love and convince him not to anytime you sense he has the urge to..

Women are keepers.

1. Chronic gambling is not a 'little' problem.

2. The OP has reported the issue to her in-laws and family without resolution. So divorce was not her first line of action

3. Women are keepers; men provide what the women keep. So what is the OP's husband providing?

While I am not saying the OP should divorce her husband (I have not given my opinion on this thread), it is gross misrepresentation to infer that the wife is the problem or the one that doesn't want to 'keep' the marriage.

You cannot solve a problem if you can’t even get the problem statement right.

Amazing!

Let's see what further studies would reveal.

ayourbamie:
The man is the head of the home. Period..

What does this mean....

In Biblical terms because the OP is addressing Christians.

Men are often advised to fast and pray for their wives. You might not just find such advice a lot on NL which gladly is not the entire universe.

Besides, most of the men prescribing the 'pray & fast' are not doing it from a religious standpoint; it is from a cultural/traditional standpoint. Such a man might most likely support male adultery/polygamy etc which tells you he is not a child of God or follower of Jesus aka Christian.

If you go to the right quarters (where Christian men gather), you would hear that advise often. You would also see men who testified to it working for them.

It is just like looking for advise to be a good investor in the casino.

Emmanuel909090:
All this half backed ladies in our generation, is the reason of failed homes.

Not the chronic gambler, it is the wife who is his victim that is the cause of the failed home.

Onyeoma.

Countersam:
Some women sha.....🥴

Didn't know that the OP's husband was a woman.

Fineman2:
My name is Funsho. I am 35 years old. My husband and I have been married for six years and we have a son together. Two years ago, my job transferred me to Abuja. Since my husband and son are in Lagos, I come home at the end of every month.

My husband was in total support because the transfer came with a better salary and a senior position. I love and trust my husband so much, however I really don't know what he thinks of me. I was able to save up last year, and since we are still in a rented apartment

I sent him the money to get us a landed property so we can start building our home. Since, I trusted him so much, I didn't even ask him for the evidence of payment, he only sent me the pictures. I recently came home as usual and while I was arranging the house, I stumbled on the documents and deeds of agreement for the land. I got the shock of my life when I discovered that it was only my husband's name that was written.

He didn't deem it fit to include my name or simply buy it in our son’s name, he bought the land in his name with my hard earned money. I couldn't hide my disappointment, so I asked him. In his defence, he said he bought it in his name because he is the man and he didn't think I would read so much meaning to it since we are married. This has given me a lot of sleepless nights and I find it really hard to believe he could do this to me.

Please, is this something I should be worried about or am I just overreacting? Advise me.

He has just shown you that he is a 'Nigerian' husband hence not trustworthy.

I sincerely doubt the receipt can be changed to reflect both names. Leave the land for him and see it as payment for 'omo go'.

Take this as lesson 101 and NEVER make the mistake to join your finances, carry him along in your projects, or involve him financially.

He has proven to be a great enemy of YOUR progress.

Don't also listen to anyone telling you it is not 'serious'; over serious dey worry am.

Pele, you self don join 'Nigerian' marriage be that.

Hmmmm

May God console his family and friends.

This back to back death in Nollywood calls for concern.

RedpillAnalyst:
1) Like I said, Christianity has changed to suit feelings and emotions. Christianity of the 1950s is different from what it is today and it has been to usher in feminism and some unmerited divine blessings.
e.g.
Men were prescribed to be the leader of the house, modern churches talk about equality to women from being responsible for things there were supposed to be responsible for.

Women were told to "Love, honor and obey", but obey somehow got removed, and it is now "love, honor and cherish" a multidimensional thinker knows some sort of social engineering is happening.

A woman preacher (RCCG Parish outside Nigeria) was preaching to women that there is room for divorce in a relationship and women should feel comfortable to take the step. Months after women started calling the police on their husbands leading to divorce.

Churches, especially the modern ones have been heavily feminized.

2/3) Loosely, the opposite of feminism is the red pill and both can be radicalized from normalcy. However, red pill/patriarchy has always been about logic, balance and construction. Feminism on the other hand is about emotions, chaos, and destruction. and why is that?

i) Feminism oversexualized women to the point that men subconsciously think all women are nothing other than mere semen receptacles.

ii) Feminism told women it is okay to be sluts, dress it and act it and if they have "chemistry" with a man/woman they should follow their impulse.

iii) Abortion rate of the roof even with contraceptives after the birth of third-wave feminism.

iv) STI off the roof, close to 30% of people who are sexually active have some form of "microbial gift to give" and women are the major carrier of these gifts, prostinol 2, Plan B., etc. can't protect yeast, viruses and bacteria vaginosis. Women bust it open as long as they think a guy looks cool and fresh.

v) Destruction of family values - Single mum on the rise and they raise delinquent kids the most. Teen pregnancy, mass shooters, school dropouts, Inmates, overly neurotic kids are and victims of gun violence are mostly products of single moms who bought and swallowed the idea of feminism.

vi) Excessive use of drugs, depression, adrenal burnout, and even suicide ideation are very common in people who bought into the idea of feminism.

Red pill is often believed to be about sleeping with multiple women but it chiefly aims to counter female/feminist chaotic nature, because women are destroyers and builders.

4) Solomon, Jacob, Pharoah, David, Mohammed, Esau, Abraham e.t.c. Had something in common. A man can have more than one partner either as wives or concubines as he pleases. There is a verse in the Quran that goes "Your wives are as A TILTH unto you." and many equivalents of that in the bible, but it is not a must that men should have more than one wives. Moreso, men of today are weak physically and mentally and can't even successfully handle one woman.

Your last paragraph of lumping up men in the Bible and Quran to support polygamy and adultery tells me what I need to know: that you are not a Christian and cannot understand the OP.

In the Beginning, God created them male & female: a man and a woman. That was God's initial and perfect design.

[quote author=poik post=100577332][/quote]Redpill can't bring men to God, it is parallel to Him.

Any man that wants to know God and His view of man/manhood should study the Bible and practice it.

Priestley91:
Truth is so obscure in these times, and falshood so established, that unless we love the truth we cannot know it. -Blaise Pascal.

A certain spokesman in the former Administration, once stated something quite relating, the comments there and the comments here seems to be moving in a tangent, and a quite predictable direction.

it's quite amusing watching the "Yay" & the "Nay" party trying to so much sell a narrative, sell an agenda, sell a philosophy; with intruments like subjectivism ,half-truths , and outright falsehood.

"The truth" is so scarce and the lines has been so blurred,as such; opinions, narratives,bias, prejudices, predispositions etcetera are passed for 'truth'.

For the 'Christian' (not the atheist,not the agnostic,not the skeptic,not the church-go'er',not the Muslim,not the buddhist & certainly not to the Satanist) ; the question is a question of allegiance, is it to 'christ' or a philosophy,a principle,an idea or a social movement.

Going through and thought to quote this.

The bold: Absolutely on point and all that is required. Who is your allegiance to?

Kobojunkie:
The poster said nothing about divorce being related to people's dress sense. Again, divorce rates in the North have almost always been very high compared to the South where these things are not officially tracked.

The following is taken from an article written in 2012 on Aljazeera.
Divorce rates are high regardless of religion.

Keep reading both posts, you will get it someday.

P.S.: the poster I was talking to understood my response.

ItisWell22:
God bless you ma 🙏🤲❤️

😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣

And you too.

xynerise:
I still blame him for what is happening to him. Back in Nigeria, all they do is spend for today without plan for tomorrow. No investment, no properties. Just bring make we chop and clubbing every weekend.

It is well with him.

descarado:
What should they discuss?

Just get it right from the beginning. Characters encoded in the dna is hard, very hard to change. We often look the other way when the tale tell signs are everywhere during courtship.

How are you and family?

As they refused to get it right nko?

At least japaing is a last chance to do the right thing.

We are good, my warm regards to your family.

Kobojunkie:
2. What does this have to do with this topic abeg?

Read the post I quoted and this post and you would get it.

dominique:
My friend from Warri told me told me this much. Up to five different factions will be on the companies' neck demanding for their share of the levies. By the time the companies are heaving a sigh of relief that they have seen the last of them, another set will emerge and make more demands. As the fathers are demanding for money, the sons are stealing equipments belonging to these companies, destroying their sites and demanding for their own. Now all the companies have left their land for them and unemployment is now the order of the day. This is what greed and lack of foresight does to people.

@bold:

The sad history of the black man replicating itself in numerous places.

@OP:

Daughter dey divorce papa again?

She is still an Edochie Irrespective of what the father has done.

madridguy:
As a man, who has authority under his control he's entitled to marry as many as he want. Is the wife feeding him? Abeg, man is the prize. Yul should get himself more wives.

God gave man (and woman) dominon over the Earth to do great things.

You decided to use the authority to marry as many women as possible.

No wonder Nigeria is it the way it is.

pocohantas:
Lol. It is the way you numbered it for me.

My boss was 39!! And she just got married as the third abi na fourth wife to one Northern elite. I was shocked because I always read that they marry before "22". It is her first marriage too. She schooled and worked abroad. Na husband carry her come back Naija. She told me she can't be in a monogamous marriage because it would affect her career and stress her out.

Omo! Their reasons for divorcing plenty o. I love this my friend because if you ask, she would answer you.🤣🤣🤣 I always look forward to her Islam orientations. It was with her I discovered muslim women have some flex, fully backed by their religion but nobody talks about those ones. You see that providing own. She said the onus is on the man to do everything. All this 50:50 we talk doesn't concern a core muslim couple.

I learnt the numbering from one dude here years ago jare.

Infact for those of the serious spirikoko ones, they don't change their surnames after marriage, it is haram.

Muslim women have some flex: It it is not compulsory to go to the mosque to pray, you don't fast during your period etc. Underneath all their coverings, they use solid 18k gold and correct lingerie. The rich and exposed ones are correct fashion inspo.

If you are not looking to be a first wife, marriage is sure at any age if you are interested.

They take the injunction of men providing very very seriously just that my Yoruba brothers use culture to ruin their religion and religion wise, you don't waste a lady's time. You like her, you talk to her father. He likes you, she likes you in return, you both marry. And the religion is clear on requirements of both parties. Not I go to RCCG, he goes to COZA so we believe different things.

Nobi date ten years, do five abortions and the man suddenly realises that it is a virgin his destiny requires.

Tonytonex:
that's good to know. 🤞
Thanks!

I want to update you that she has broken the record already.

pocohantas:
Deep!!!

1. Few weeks back Solomon Buchi asked CHRISTIAN WOMEN if they must wear revealing bikinis and "christian women" came for him. They asked him whether they should wear agbada. But Muslim women have been going to the beach. They also engage in swimming competition and gymastics. Many times we would see them fight to have standards tweaked for them and we think they are fanatics or just petulant .

So, must you wear a bikini that shows all your womanhood?

2. Finally someone said, he is asking christian women, not omo wobes. Because it looks like omo wobes were the ones responding.

---

3. Anyway, Islam has modern ones too. I had a muslim boss and I currently have a muslim friend. They are two different humans and I asked my friend, why do you cover this and that. I wanted her to be as "trendy" as my boss. Her hair veil is al-amira (thanks to Gloriousgbola for teaching me) and I wanted her to use a scarf or hijab. I saw my boss's waistline, but I have never seen my friend's own OUTSIDE. She told me just like in christianity, they also have different sets and levels to adherence. There are muslim non-hijabites. Only during Ramadan you would see those ones cover hair.

4. By the way, muslims also have a high rate of divorce in (Northern) Nigeria. You don't know because there are other wives and you can't easily tell one left. And no matter how old she is, another man would marry her. They are not as clueless as you think o. They just do their things quietly and move on. Maybe because their religion has a ruling on everything. So they already know how to settle the matter.

1 & 2. It is disheartening when 'Christian' men & women try so hard to conform to the world that you are left speechless. Some omo wobes have more decency than 'Christians' today although God's standards do not change. Muslim women designed a beach wear that is all covered up. 2021 Christmas during part of my beach trips, I saw a fully covered Muslim woman dancing on the beach. You could see pure undiluted fun. TBH, I deeply admire their desire to be set apart, the desire not to tint their religion with the world although I till think those wanting us to bend rules for them are petulant

3. That's why I said there are levels of devotion. But don't be surprised that your trendy boss would become more covered up in future. Had a boss like that too Irrespective of level of devotion, an average Muslim woman & man is decently dressed. They agree on the tenets of their religion, the willingness and strength to follow is another thing.

4. I agree with you. I believe if a man doesn't provide, she can divorce him. They also have rulings on when the men can divorce. I remember when Kano state Governor organised mass marriage for the divorced women However, they are not affected by the increased divorced rates due to relocation. What a Nigerian muslim wife would not take in UK, she would not take in Kano. She is the same with same expectations everywhere.

Sometimes when I think of the way we Christians metamorphosize to fit the world so bad, it gives me an headache.

Savechild23:
My wife rarely cook food in the house but so surprise she watched Hilda while she was cooking for 72hrs.

I just dey manage my marriage.

Is she hailing Hilda because she is cooking for 72 hours or because she is getting closer to breaking a world record?

While at it, did you ask her why she rarely cooks at home?

Also note that Hilda is a cook, it is her '9 - 5'.

Not holding brief for your wife (don't know your story), just providing the required context.

Before someone says Hilda is a wife material because she cooked for 96 hours.

She is like a tailor sewing for 96 hours or a carpenter building furniture for 96 hours.

xynerise:
They had a money induced marriage if you ask me. I believe expectations were high from the wife's part and when she got there she saw something higher if you know what I mean.

Hmmmmmm

So it was more of a marriage of convenience which worked in Nigeria because the husband could perform financially?

I wish him all the best.

I am curious though: weren't the signs there? Or he thought she would still be satisfied with him after getting to the UK?

eben97:
need me to go into details please ?

Yes please 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀

Then we discuss how to remove the subsidy when removing that of fuel.

Acidosis:
The important question is which religion has the highest divorce rate in the UK?

Marriage originated from religion and cultural practices. Divorce will be higher when you drift away from both.

This is another interesting take.

I know that the Asians are doing well familywise and one of their unique qualities is 'they do not deviate from their culture and are a closely knit community'.

I would take a leap and also assume that Muslims don't have a spike in the divorce rates because they are 'same' everywhere. While there are different levels of devotion in Islam, there is no 'modern' version. No Muslim (no matter how rich or 'exposed') would tell you Homosexuality is 'ok' or hijab is wrong or disagree on the definition of decent/indecent dressing.

However, when you come to Christianity, there are levels of modernity that a true Christian would feel out of place and wonder if it is the same Bible we are referencing.

It is sad.

Blue86:
The thing is, in every geo location, there is a ruler of darkness influencing and perpetrating the darknesses in that location.

In U.K for instance, divorce is one of the darknesses.
So don't be surprised, when a lady lands in there, and gets influenced or seduced to divorce, and actually do it.

Just like in The States ; where Homosexuality is one of the prevailing darkness in it.
So don't be surprised when a lady or young man gets into that place, and suddenly says he or she has found her truth ; that they were born gay.

Therefore, don't be influenced by whatever God is against, that is prevalent in the geographical location you find yourselves.

Interesting take.