₦airaland Forum

Jojo Armani: For me
1. She must love me more( most important for me)

2. She must be educated and wise.

3. She must be kind and caring

4. she must be friendly, social and easy going. And she must always have a happy face, (as in always wearing smiles)

5. She must be a chef. ( as in takin cookin as a hobby)

nice points but no 1 is way out of it! a man loves a woman more n d woman responds by submitting to him! make sure u also have all these qualities or else u don't deserve such a queen and remember that she wouldn't be perfect! take care! wish u all d best!

i wonder wat age has got to do wit genuine love! for those talkin about aging, wat difference ll there be in a 1yr gap or none and 3 - 5yr gap? a husband that wants the submission of his wife must be ready to love her selflessly! a husband loves his wife n she reciprocate wit respect and submission! reading comments like this makes one wonder if people knew wat marriage is al about! it is well!

TisaBone: when i worked in sales talking on the phone trying to convince people to buy stuff, every single time i ever talked to a man, he would always say "i have to ask my wife first, i can' sign up/buy this without her permission." So one day, i outright asked one man "I thought u were the man of the house, you don't need your wife's permission." and he replied "You don't know my wife!"

So i think that men act like they wear the pants in a relationship when actually i think its the other way around. men don't mind taking the passenger seat as long as nobody knows!

also, i myself dont want a submissive man, i just want a sweet man, who is gentle, loving, attentive, and caring, and doesn't have to prove every five seconds that he's this alpha male, continuously beating on his chest and roaring to prove that he is in charge.

u re already describing a submissive man

lefulefu: submissive men na gods gift to naija women because submissive dem too mumu.Take this case for example
Cash madam:azubike! azubike!!
submissive mumu husband: honey why u yelling my name i am bathing the kid for pete's sake
Cash madam: oya come go market for me.i need to watch this home video for african magic so i no need to miss am
submissive mumu husband:but honey i just said i am bathing the kid and i need to work on the car after that,why dont u go.there is the jeep for u to use
cash madam: wait a second oooo!, na me build this house,na me dey pay nepa bill.since wen dey lay u off fro ur bank job u never get any job and u dey stand there like egyptian mumu dey yarn grammer!
submissive mumu husband: honey cool down on ppl outside might hear u yelling
cash madam: i no go cool down!.if u no go market for me this evening i go lock u comot from this house sam! sam!!
submissive mumu husband:ok darling i will go to the market as soon as i bath this kid
cash madam:oya wear ur slippers this minute and take dat money from that desk or else i go slap that ur block head u dis ewu!
 submissve hubby 4 u

is this how a submissive wife should be treated by her husband?

[quote author=fresh_dude]BK I'm ffine thank you. I only disagree with apologising to the girl. The only Person he should apologise to is God after which everyone else(pastor, parents, church council, girl) can go and burn. Not only is this girl greedy and selfish, she's also manipulative. She has connived with the entire church to guilt this guyy into marriage and for what? A few materialistic comforts? I know I sound angry, well that's because I have been a direct victim of something related to this. No, I don't want others going through what I did. Cheers.[/quote]i understand and support al wat u said but i feel an apology to the gal is necessary to clear his conscience! but d gals father has no shame except if his daughter didn't tell him the full version of the story. things dey happen sha! mehn, that gal can kill! have a good night rest.

@fresh-dude: hello, ow re u? i m talkin in the christian context. if u read my post well, u ll c that i was talking to him as a sis in Christ. he was taking his vengeance and that's y he needs to apologize! i m not supporting the gal, i emphatically told him not to marry d gal n leave the church if he wasn't content wit their judgement! i told him that so that his conscience ll be clear b4 God and man! that is called restitution!

@poster: since ur post says u re a christian, i ll speak to u like a brother. i wouldn't judge u for ur sins (fornication n revenge) because i don't want to be judged and i am no saint, but i ll tell u this: u know that our Father(God) said that vengeance is His; and i am sure that u trust in Him, u should have left the gal alone! infact, God has started fightin for u and u just ruined everything! u getting that job is enough revenge! that sis would have cried until she died because she might not meet anybody like u again! when she started seducing u, u should have fled but al hope is not lost. go back to God and ask for genuine forgiveness, ask the gal for forgiveness for takin advantage of her and serve ur suspension in church. however, expect God speaks to u audibly and ure 100% percent sure, DON'T marry the sister! she has proved to u that she is for better for best and every marriage ll have its challenges! after serving ur punishment, if u feel d church wouldn't make u grow esp if the church don't punish d madam, then relocate to another BIBLE BELIEVING LIVING church! God Bless U!

@poster: since ur post says u re a christian, i ll speak to u like a brother. i wouldn't judge u for ur sins (fornication n revenge) because i don't want to be judged and i am no saint, but i ll tell u this: u know that our Father(God) said that vengeance is His; and i am sure that u trust in Him, u should have left the gal alone! infact, God has started fightin for u and u just ruined everything! u getting that job is enough revenge! that sis would have cried until she died because she might not meet anybody like u again! when she started seducing u, u should have fled but al hope is not lost. go back to God and ask for genuine forgiveness, ask the gal for forgiveness for takin advantage of her and serve ur suspension in church. however, expect God speaks to u audibly and ure 100% percent sure, DON'T marry the sister! she has proved to u that she is for better for best and every marriage ll have its challenges! after serving ur punishment, if u feel d church wouldn't make u grow esp if the church don't punish d madam, then relocate to another BIBLE BELIEVING LIVING church! God Bless U!

[quote author=life_style]If this is true, I don't blame you, I Blame the American girls, they are just desperate, lonely, cheap and Stu.pid. One advice for you sir, [size=15pt]Go check your status[/size] [/quote]+1000! besides, u re just trying to tell us that u don't have self control! even if u have all it takes to be a ladies' man, u can stil decide as a MAN not to sleep wit those ladies! dear, ur body is far more precious to God than been a tool to check how manly u're. sex is a covenant btw people n each time u sleep wit a person, u give that person part of ur virtue. like @tpia adviced, come to Christ, He ll heal u because this is a spiritual sickness. N.B: when u meet that 'special' lady, u won't stop because u re used to sleeping around. u might just 'care' for her or wateva. i tell u, u can use ur 'handsomeness' or swagger to encourage those insecure n emotionally sick ladies! when they come around, encourage them to wait for a man that would love them, tell them ow to package themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually etc u ll have done them a great service. what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world (money, fame, women, power etc) and lose his own soul in the lake of fire? Jesus is calling u today, He loves u! have a blessed day!

@sugardaddy: u might not read this post but sir, u don't know wat it means to be a married man. u are the kind of male(not man because a man faces his challenges which in ur case is a frigid wife) God looks down on and regrets that u came to this world! i pray u don't have sons n if u do, that they ll meet Christ and have their minds renewed. sir, please give ur life to Christ before it is too late! God hates a man/woman that breaks d marriage covenant! don't be deceived that things seem to be going 'well' for u now, remember that satan feeds fat d meat he wants to eat! God be wit u!

@naijasexy: splendid! keep d good work goin! have a blessed day!

snthesis: why should d guy apologize, i feel the wife is pompous and proud

dear, wat u feel is different from wat is right! the wife is truly proud and the man is also PROUD, EGOISTIC n DOES NOT HAVE A FORGIVING SPIRIT! wat kind of offense can d wife commit that he wouldn't go back home for one good wk? u mean he never went to check on her etc etc etc? when next ur friend comes wit his wahala, tell him to go back home n learn how to be married! come to think of it, if ur female friend came wit d same problem, would u give her d same addy? pls always learn to be a peacemaker esp in marriages! stay blessed!

kristonium: dear bukatyne,
thanks for the prayers! may God bless u more and more.as for the bolded,i quiet understand that the level of lawlessness at the home front today will make it difficult for a lot of people to still believe dat there are still remnants that have made up their mind to stand out.all what i posted are what im doing and i still feel i could do more!
DATS D TRUTH!

i don't doubt that wat u said exist, i'm sayin cos this is an anonymous forum n a blind man can claim to see clearly! @ u wish to do more, u sound a lot like my guy! he read books n tell me how he wants to improve to be d bestest husband possible! let's keep d lamp burning!

snthesis: quick question: should a guy always apologize to his wife even though she was d guilty person

i advised my friend to walk out till she regains her senses- i wonder if i said the right thing? cos its been a week now and his wife hasn't apologized-the guy never go back house- and he is becoming a bug on me.

lol! wat God has joined together, let no man/friend put asunder! that ur friend doesn't value his marriage and he is very proud n u're a classic example on y people esp married should mind who their confidant re. since he 'listens' to u, tell him to go home n apologize to his wife! if he genuinely loves her, he wouldn't bear to be seperated from her! later, he can call his wife's attention (in love else, it would backfire) to the fact that she is sturborn n hurting him n she should learn to apologize when she's wrong! if this doesn't work, he should tell their pastor n get d pastor to preach on the matter one sunday so dat d wife ll hear! it is well! a lot of men/women get married witout knowing wat it is all about!

mutter: Figures the fact that you earn most of the money does not mean that your husband should not be able to make decisions regarding the money. In a family it is wise for the man and woman to plan together for the future.
It is also not unusual that he did not want a househelp, many people would avoid taking a househelp if they could afford to, they often come with a lot of problems.
As regards the errand sending, I can only shake my head. That`s your husband and it is your duty as a wife to serve him hands and feet!!!!
I do not think that your man does not appreciate you, I am sure he does however four years is a very short time give him time!!!

@mutter dear, a husband/wife relationship is NOT a master/slave relationship! a husband doesn't sit down n send his wife on 'errands' up n down! in the christian marriage, a husband loves the wife(serves her n esteems her above himself) n the wife submits to the husband (serves him n esteems him above herself) so u see, d quadratic equation is balanced! try to read figures post wit an open mind n u ll c that she really has no much fault (according to her version of d story)! be blessed!

@OP: i really really appreciate this thread n respect ur post b'cos it is not so often we see a man investin in his marriage to work. he thinks that after payin the rent, school fees n bills, he is good to go. i pray that God ll give u d grace n power to love ur wife as portrayed in 1cor13 :4 -7 more, be faithful to her n serve her wholeheartedly. i also pray that ur wife would love u, respect u, serve u n be that wife in prov 31:10-31, that u ll raise godly kids n most importantly, u al ll make heaven! wit men like u, there is hope for our generation (if u're been truthful)! stay blessed!

@naijasexy: bravo, u have done it again! i stil don't believe dat bukky should be allowed to 'officially' have tunde b'cos of her blackmail! dupe's family such hold a family meeting n talk to tunde. whatever d outcome, dupe ll have peace. i ve never believed in blackmail! soon bukky ll want to be married to tunde, be his only wife etc! tunde ll soon know something is wrong when bukky openly flirts wit him in front of dupe (b'cos she ll) n dupe does nothing!

@ OP: ow re u feeling? i understand wat u're goin thru. i know that when a guy genuinely loves a woman, he loves her wit his whole being. i ll just advice u to 1. let the gal go. don't cal her anymore, d temptation ll be hard b'cos no matter ow hard u try, u can't forget it. and also forgive her cos when u re bitter against someone, u re only hurtin urself n puttin urself in bondage. 2. get closer to God, only Him can heal u. Talk to Him, tell Him u re heartbroken, cry to Him n He ll heal u. 3. end ur relationship wit ur new gal. she ll only be competing wit ur ex's shadows. u cann never love her for now and she ll know. u have to get healed b4 u can give urself out again. 4. please n please, don't be afraid to love again. don't be scared to give urself to another woman later. it wouldn't be easy but decide that u wouldn't let ur ex deprive u of livin life to d fullest. 5. finally, remember that in future, ur ex may never tell u but she ll weep in future that she threw a great opportunity away! take care of urself! i pray that God heals u real soon n make sure u don't stay isolated! u need genuine n faithful friends now.

i think logic mind has said it al. women should have a mind of their own, be women of their words n be assertive witout been rude!

woaw! this is lovely! very romantic, suspense filled n not dirty! this is wonderful! a standing ovation for naijasexy! #clapping# keep it up gal! anyways in d whole mess, i c odiaea n cindy's mom as victims n they need healing!

@bennyraz: thanks, ow re u? stay blessed!

@logicmind: also read that 1 cor 11 further to verses 11 and 16

Logic Mind: so a husband is not a male partner?

stop rewriting the bible. god is specific about submission of women to men. Their salvation comes through childbearing. I pity the barren ones. Women should keep their mouth shut and have no authority over man, instead man must have authority over women. Repeated many times over.

1 Timothy 2:11-15

11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

Ephesians 5:23

23 For the husband is the head of the wife ...

1 Corinthians 14:34-35

34 women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35 If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.

1 Corinthians 11:10

10 For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.

all those passages u quoted, read d whole chapter n not just lift some to suit u. in 1 cor 11:34, Paul was addressing an issue. if u read well, u ll c that those verses don't match the previous ones. Paul was an apostle dat worked wit women a lot. women re not saved by childbirth, they re saved through acceptin Christ as their Lord n personal saviour.

Logic Mind: so a husband is not a male partner?

stop rewriting the bible. god is specific about submission of women to men. Their salvation comes through childbearing. I pity the barren ones. Women should keep their mouth shut and have no authority over man, instead man must have authority over women. Repeated many times over.

1 Timothy 2:11-15

11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

Ephesians 5:23

23 For the husband is the head of the wife ...

1 Corinthians 14:34-35

34 women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35 If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.

1 Corinthians 11:10

10 For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.

a male partner can refer to a bf etc. read my post again, i never said a woman shouldn't submit. a man is d head(source) of his wife as Christ is d head(source) of d Church. there is a difference btw head n Lord. source means that d home starts from d man. a man is d building block of the home in that a man must decide to get married n look for a woman for a home 2 be formed. this doesn't make her inferior.

Logic Mind: christian twist and turn
please compare comparables.
if i give my child money and he acts like a poor fellow, what's the use of my money?
can a man god made rich be poor?
can a man god gave health be sick?
can a man god gave happiness be sad?
can a man god promised long life die in his youth?
can a man god gave strength be weak?
can a man god gave wisdom be foolish?

Majority of christian will answer no to all the above. You seem to be answering yes.

my answer is yes. there is a difference between religion n christianity. christianity is a relationship wit God. i would also advice christians to study d Bible n ask God for wisdom. that it's y on christian has any excuse, d BIBLE is there. if God tells u that u ll live till a hundred years n u jump into d road n a trailer hits u, is it His fault? or He tells u that He ll make u wealthy n u sit al day doin nothing, ll HE rain money from Heaven? He said He ll bless d work of our hands! if u do nothing, there is nothing to bless! if He promises u good health n u start drinkin contaminated water n eating spoilt food, would u fall sick? n al d other scenarioes u painted. get it, God is not a magician. He plays His part n expects each one of us to play ours too. He MIGHT decide to spare d life of d person who jumped in fronto of a vehicle because of His mercy n not because He is obliged to do so.

Logic Mind: so what is the use of god's wisdom?

solomon asked for it. he ruled his kingdom wit it. if he didn't apply it to his martial life, good for him. like i keep saying, God have, everyone freewill. if u give ur child money for his tuition fees n he decides to use it to buy his gf brazilian weaves, is it ur fault that u gave him his fees like a responsible father or his own fault that he was foolish to divert it?

Logic Mind: The bible requires women to be submissive to their male partners. It even specifies in what to be submissive. IN EVERYTHING.

Ephesians 5:22-24

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

God didn't require women to submit to their male partners, He said husbands. that said, a wife is to submit (esteem her husband higher than herself or put him first ) n a husband is to love. one of d characteristics of godly love is not been proud (humble) 1cor 13 : 4-7 n been humble is to esteem others (in this case his wife) better than himself. so u c that they balance out. check out d qualities of wat d love God requires d husband to have for his wife n u ll c that already, d man esteems her above himself. also read eph 5:21, it commands al christians to submit to one another so u c that submittin doesn't make a person under another.

Logic Mind: there you go again.
was he not the wisest?
did god not give him this wisdom?
if you accept that he acted with god's given wisdom, then collecting women as aboki collects nama cannot be wrong.
if on the other hand, his acts were foolish, then the question is of what good is god's wisdom if it leads to foolishness?

God gave everyman freewill. i m yet to see a teacher or parent that forces a child to do an homework. but if u don't do it, there is a price to pay.

Logic Mind: There you go again trying to explain away and justify everything. xtian apology will never stop.
i am telling you what god himself wrote in his great and only book but you are the one interpreting to suit your narrative.
if god wanted to say "intimate desires", god would have said "intimate desires" instead of "living for pleasure". Those are two different things and god is very specific.

Dear, if u don't understand ur mathematics text, u meet ur mathematics teacher or in a rare opportunity meet d author of that text. I m explaining what those passages mean n not apologizin. d Bible uses diff words, intimacy, carnal knowledge, sexual sin, martial rights etc etc.

Logic Mind: In Matthew 25: Verses 1 to 12, the lord god jesus himself told a story about a man that planned to marry ten virgins and the selfish manner of some of the virgins and the stuppid manner of the others. This passage described women desperate to share a man and bitchin' amongst each other. This story hardly paints women in a glorious light. some might even call it sexist. And the son of god used this example to describe his kingdom.

this story is a parable. the virgins represent christians, those wit extra oil (the wise) are those wit d Holy Spirit n those without (the foolish) are those witout d Holy Spirit/unempowered. the arrival of d bridegroom represents d second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. the story teaches we christians to always be prepared as no one knows when He is coming back again. it also teaches that not al christians ll be prepared.