₦airaland Forum

Johndoe100: On the surface this looks reasonable, but the kicker is in the next line which goes like this:
"parents should allow their children to marry who they love think they love, so that if the men misbehave the women can promptly get divorced." With parental aproval "understanding and tolorance" are key. As everyone on this board knows, the cabal and their leader chaircover consider tolerance and understanding in mariage to be a manifestation of low self esteem.
You just gotta love these hags and their coven.

sir, y can't u leave chaircover n d 'cabal' alone n give ur advice? ur advice might have helped one or 2 pple but now u have ruined it al.

[quote author=$ugardaddy]@bukatyne:
Let he that is without sin cast the first stone . . . . .and I wish you a frigid partner in life!!![/quote]i'm not casting stones @ u! i'm 100% sure that if ur wife were to be cheatin on u, u ll smile when she gives her explaination that u're not man enough. i don't know how u n ur wife met cos u two don't seem on d same level. if i have a frigid partner, i ll pray, cry, talk, do everything i can to God to heal him. i'll tell God that i love Him n my husband n i don't want to cheat. that prayer ll be most effective when i am turned on.afteral, it's God that created him. next, i ll do everything i'm imagine in my brain to seduce him, romance him, kiss him, do everything i can. i know that it might not be immediately, but one day God ll answer my prayers n i ll be d one telling d guy i'm tired! sir, if u genuinely love ur wife, u can't think of sleeping wit another woman. go on ur knees, repent to God and cry to God to heal ur wife. she may be like b'cos of one experience or wat she has been taught since when she was young. one evening, just stay @ home wit her n romance her instead of thinking of d next gal to sleep wit. i tell u, if u had made up ur mind NOT to commit adultery and work on ur marriage on matter d situation, ur wife would be healed by now. think about ur wife's healing once again n work towards it. if her parents re stil alive talk to them, or go for councelling wit her. once again, just try to revive ur marriage again. cheers

adaybayor: How did you pass your exams in school, don't you read Qs before answering? Hoiw many women has america allowed to get to the top? Is germany α̲̅ xtian nation? Is the queen the PM of england?...I repeat again nature doesn't favour women, take it or leave it..why did God create man before woman? You think its accidental?

dear, i believe u re a muslim from ur posts. please get some facts right: 1. there is nothing or nowhere called a christian nation i.e. where everyone is a christian and is governed by the Bible. 2. God didn't create woman later b'cos they were inferior but b'cos He wanted to illustrate the marriage institution. He was showing that a man n his wife not wives re one that's y when Adam saw Eve, he said 'this is d bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh...' don't confuse wat pple do to wat God wanted us to do. ve a nice day

Sagamite: When he grows up, I hope he drops this lame unscientific part of his thinking.



Later, some lunatically western law would say a woman is entitled to half because he made it by being married to her.

When his parents do not even have a right to claim a cent.

some of us believe in the divine intervention of God. He stil speaks to us on a daily basis. ve a nice day

adaybayor: Peace onto you, its no need arguing with a brainwashed fella, they are fond of saying that which they know not .
If the western world is an example of true civilisation then I bet satan should be a saint. I rest my case

n wat is d difference btw d western world n our world? b'cos some things re not done openly in nigeria doesn't mean they re not done. at least d whites re sincere while we re a bunch of hypocrites! don't we fight, steal, use pple for rituals, smuggle hard drugs, syphon money, embezzle funds, commit al sorts of immorality, sodomy, adultery is celebrated in our society, deceit, exam malpractices, abortions, pornography, bribery, extortion, pretence, betrayals etc so ow re we better than d west

Naijaklef: @dasparrow,
If a man with a loving wife decide to cheat on her, are u saying d best thing 
To do is fight d husband or disgrace d husband or move out or divorce?
I agree d man is wrong by cheating but can two wrong make a right?
Can a man harrassed by his wife love her more?

In my opinion, d media has played more damaging role than good.
Media created a whole of false impression about marriage. It created
A marriage without stress or pain. It created d impression dat divorce is no
Big deal!  E.g d kardashains story. 
A lot of couples go into marriage with d blissful intention and Wen issues start coming up...they crumble and fall becos d marriage was built false ideas
Created by media.

We all, have abandon our cultural values and decided to follow WHITE MAN
Ideas of marriage becos we want to b civilized. 
Dat fine! Civilization and liberation come with a price.... D price most couple pay for liberation is divorce!!!

Let think of it... We assume dat oyibo man knows better ...hence we emulate everything dey offer. D question is ....wats r d divorce rates in US and UK These people have lost all d family values.
Divorce rate in Nigeria will continue to go up if we don't change our mentality
About copying western culture dat has failed.

we all talk about divorce and marriage. However, nobody talks about how we have influenced marriages negatively by our advices and comments....

TALK IS CHEAP..... LET US ALL INFLUENCE ONE MARRIAGE
POSITIVELY BY OUR ATITUDE, COMMENTS!

n dear, if a wife cheats on d husband, wat should d husband do? that ll answer ur question!

dasparrow: I agree with most of what you said but you were partial in your post. You were quick to point out bible passages that favour men but spoke very little of biblical passages that commands the man to love his wife like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-30). Marraiges are no doubt falling apart at an alarming rate but the blame cannot go to the women alone. Most women who are loved, treated well and respected will do anything for their husbands. Sadly, a society like Nigeria makes it very hard for women. Permit me to explain in the following paragraphs.

First, you have Nigerian men who .s.exu/ally molest and .ra/pe little girls at a very young age. Girls as young as 2 years old. That single act alone leaves a lasting psycological scar on the victim even into adulthood. Nigerian society does not give harsh penalties to perverts or .s/e.x offenders if any at all. Child molestation is prevalent in Nigeria and we have alot of .ra/pe cases in our societies. You may ask, what has this to do with divorce? alot I say! A female child or adult who was molested or .se/xually abused will have a skewed or poor perception of the opposite gender. She may not be able to enjoy intimacy which is an integral part of marraige and this might lead to the marraige breaking down.

Next we have the high infidelity rate amongst Nigerian men because Nigerian culture does not frown at married men who cheat on their wives. This in turn encourages men to stay [b]un[/b]faithful to their wives. A man who loves his wife like Christ loves the church will not jeopardize his health AND the health of his wife by sleeping around. He will not do anything to hurt his wife's feelings because a man who genuinely loves his wife will never go out of his way to hurt her no matter the circumstance.

A woman married to a cheat or abuser will find it increasingly difficult to submit to her husband because her husband defies everything marraige stands for.

wonderful! don't mind Nigerians n selective reading!

dwas: Its is not a strange thing. We can't keep going against God's word and expect things to be normal.
Women are to subject to their own husband. Infact the bible says their desire shall be to their husband. Gen 3 v 16. Don't forget that satan has always been going against God and woman has made themselves available for satan use. Today you hear of woman revolution, woman libration and so on. Questions, were they ever been in bondage? You can't be in a boat heading toward light house then you tell the light house to move for you to go through. You know the result will be a crashed boat. You can break principle, rather you are the one that will suffer it. Paul apostle says women should keep silent in the church. Queen vashti was replace because she disobey her husband. Infact the chief urged the king to sanction her immediately so that their own wife at home will not take after the queen step. Check out the women that are enjoying their marriage, you will realise that they those who stay in the position where God placed them.

Anyway, its endtime. Repent and turn to God. Respect him. Also you man, love her. The love that does not expect anything in return. That is the only kind of love that can win even the hardest woman. God bless you all

dwas, i agree wit d last paragraph but d 1st n 2nd, mbanu. Gen 3:16 is talkin about d result of d fall n it's negative. women have been in bondage n marriages now re better than b4. finally, a peaceful marriage doesn't necessarily translates to a happy one.

@OP: I really feel for u n i understand wat u re goin thru though i'm not married. however, i just want to say this: pls n pls DON'T pour life unto ur kids. u're just both caretakers and u re training them to be independent in future. else when they grow, u ll be competing wit the people in their lives and u ll make a very bad MIL. God ll c u thru IJN. I pray u'll come back here to give a testimony.

i believe many factors re responsible for this. 1. women re coming to d realization that they don't need to be called mrs. b4 they are humans. don't get me wrong, i'm not against marriage infact, i cherish it but we can't compare d nonsense our foremothers endured just to be called married. a lot of women of old NEVER enjoyed their marriages, they endured it. now women re more empowered and less dependent on a man. 2. a lot of people married for the wrong reasons. 3. a lot of people re not ready to sacrifice/invest in their relationship esp men. they want one partner esp women to forgo their dreams n ambitions forgettin that it's a 2 way thing 4. some pple re not prepared to work hard n commit for their marriage to work out. they notice a change in their spouse, instead of finding out wat caused it i.e. if it's a new action or a reaction to their current action, they just throw d vowel cos divorce is within easy reach. they don't fight for their marriage. 5. people re not ready to follow biblical principles 6. inlaws over poke their big noses into the affairs of d couple n many more

Adetayo100: If you help a lady she will take you for granted

n if u help a man, will he not take u for granted? it depends on individuals! some have common sense n appreciates quality; some don't want quality but quantity n some don't know quality when they see it. it goes both ways! i'm tired of generalizations! we ladies also have generalizations of guys that don't appreciate ladies; yet when we meet a prospective gentleman, we give him d benefit of doubt! you guys should learn to deal wit ladies of quality!

@OP: there is nothing absolutely wrong wit it, it shows u love n care for her, that u re not only after wat u can benefit from her. my fiancee does such for me and it makes me respect him more. i know he's a gift 4rm God n i pray to be a better wife to him daily. however, i ll agree that a lot of women take it for granted maybe b'cos they were brought up to see such tasks as lowly or they have been taught that men been 'superior' shouldn't demean themselves wit such tasks. some other ladies would tell u they want a man in 'control' etc., well i would say it's b'cos they have not experienced hatred n so can't appreciate love or they re so used to been battered emotionally. wat most guys don't understand is that a lot of pple esp ladies are emotionally sick, have low self esteem n lack faith in themselves b'cos of abusive parents n society and therefore d guys need to work extra hard to make d woman come alive n be whole although this is d work of God but He uses d man n vice versa. ladies should learn to appreciate a man that genuinely loves them n not wait til they lose him and have experimented round b4 they come back n start beggin like losers. guys should start investing more in their relationships, communicate n try to understand their women. as for those guys sayin they can't do it cos d guy's not a slave or wateva, is d woman a slave

davidylan: I dont understand, i for one would be very happy to have my wife drop by my office for lunch visits. She's supposed to be your helpmeet so why is your office a no-go area for her?

dave hi! ow ll u understand when u don't know d current trend? d wedding ends @ d entrance of d gate n after work, u pick it up @ gate on ur way home! lol! officially u re single every working hours! any marriage contracted then is valid! i really fear for our generation o! take care!

logicboy01: Please, I am waiting for christians to explain this new testament verse;

1 Corinthians 14;34
women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says

try to read d whole chapter to get a clearer understanding. Paul said 'as the law says...' which law was he talking about? the law of God? Moses, the Pharisees? reading further, Paul seems to be refutin the corinthians that hold that belief and concluded d chapter by sayin that all can prophesy but in orderliness. come to think of it, Paul worked wit d most amount of women in the NT.

Ptolomeus: Abraham, the great patriarch.
He too was an adulterer ... had se.x with his maid.

ALELUIAH!

@Logicboy...Used said that Abraham had se.x with his sister and also with the maid?
This will not be part of a smear campaign against Christians?
No, no, I can not believe that! Sodom and Gomorrah was child's play !

he had s.ex wit his wife n maid and not half sister b'cos he had married her. remember that abraham was married b4 God called him. it's a smear campaign against we christians b'cos u got it from our Bible in d first place. abraham is not God, he's a human like u n i and sometimes made wrong decisions based on situations around him and not d promise of God. God called him when he was 75yrs, and when he was 99yrs, God appeared to him and said 'I AM THE LORD ALMIGHTY, walk b4 Me and be thou perfect' Gen 17:1-27 meaning that for the past 24yrs, he was not doing the right things. check out his lifestyle after that.

@logicmind: referin to ur post concerning seductive women; those passages re talkin about lovepeddlers and warning against their charms and patronising them. the men re not seen as innocent victims, there re referred to as 'simple', 'foolish' etc. and are always destroyed @ d end

logicboy: This is the foolish thing about the bible. Sarah was already Abraham's sister. Half sister to be exact

mind ur tongue. sarah was his half sister al right but he married her and she became his wife so he should introduce her as his wife n if he was a gisting mood tell d person that she was his half sister!

Logic Mind: When Abram became hungry, he asked his wife to pretend she was his sister so other men would sleep with her and he would blackmail them.
This happenned in Genesis 12: 9-20 and again in Genesis 20: 1-16

He taught his son Isaac this trick and he used it well in Genesis 26: 7-16.

and ur pt is? besides, he didn't teach issac d 'trick', it shows that lying was inherent in them

Logic Mind: If a man had se.x with a woman that belongs to another as a wife or slave, she should be punished. There is no punishment for the man, even if it was a r.ape.

Leviticus 19:20

20 And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that is a bondmaid, betrothed to an husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged; they shall not be put to death, because she was not free.

bros, u re misquoting d text! first, d text is talking about slavewomen. even when they were beaten/injured by their masters (both male n female), their masters go free. secondly, d slavewoman was not punished but compensation is paid to her husband to be. 3rdly, the man is found guilty n must atone for his sins wit sacrifices b4 he can be forgiven. read down to verse 22 and don't do selective reading

Logic Mind: I was just rereading this post and it hit me how silly your argument sounds. How can a god that you claim to be ominipotent, omniscience, omniwhatever, not know that I would be jumping into a road and getting killed by a trailer? If he knew, why lie to me that I'll live long?
Why lie that he'll make me wealthy if he knew I would be lazy?
Or are you saying he doesn't know what i'll be doing?

I too am not a magician and can make you such promises: you also will be healthy if you don't drink contaminated water.

dear, God doesn't lie, there's no shadow of darkness in Him. i ll always give u d same answer: freewill or d power of choice.

ijawkid: It means in a congregation a woman shuldnt take d lead where men are....

hierarchy of headship demands that......

Women can't be overseers,heading congregation assignments....those responsibilities are meant for d men.....

In 1timothy 2:11-13 paul gives d reason why.....

11 A woman[a] should learn in quietness and full
submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to
teach or to assume authority over a man;[b]
she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed
first, then Eve...

That is Gods arrangement......

Read also 1 corinthians 11;3

If those principles are nt upheld definitly dis-array and indecency would be d result....

hello ijawkid, wat of Deborah?

drnoel: I think this is hitting a nail on the head. A lady has to respect herself, respect her man and show him love. If his is into u, no jupiter would prevent him from reciprocating.

dear dr, ow re u? u actually got d order wrong. a man loves a woman n she reciprocate by submittin to him. if d lady is nice, d relationship lasts, if not, it dies. a man approaching a woman should have feelings for her that ll grow to love b4 he approaches her. the woman receives his affections (accepts him) n they build their relationship together. take care

lastpage: Na today? It is called HYPOCRISY: Do as l say, but dont do as l do!
Even Christ made allusions to such behavior when he said "I have not come to increase your burden and place heavy weight on your shoulders, as your religious leaders do, knowing they themselves cannot and would not carry such weight on their own shoulders"!

That is the greatest fraud in Christianity!
It is similar to the "Catholic Celibacy'.......which the upper hierarchy preaches and forces down the throat of the fledgling ones while yanking the back-hole of young alter boyz! .......and practicing lesbianism on themselves!

I still wonder if l will ever speak with David, Jacob or even Abraham, not to talk of blessing Solomon, if l am God and l really detest Polygamy as we the present day Christians "preach" in church......of course, just in the church naaah![b][/b]

We cheat on our spouses at random, we marry and re-marry, we fornicate before marriage, we carry Aristo while n the University and do all sorts of debauchery yet we 'assume' some pious position in "PUBLIC", just for others to admire and stand in awe! See the fraud level?

Lastpage!
PS: Dont take it personal, easy come, easy go!

@ lastpage, ow re u n family? d way things were run in d OT is different from d NT. from d beginning, God didn't institute things like polygamy or divorce but b'cos of d hardness of d pple's heart, they did wat they like n Moses instituted some laws like dat of divorce etc to regulate them but when Jesus Christ came, He corrected al those things so the NT is against polygamy. that's y d Bible in Romans says that God winked @ d time o ignorance but now we know wat's right. however, i agree wit u that there's so much hypocrisy in d church. i'm sure dat 'pastor' would ve preached against lying, deceit, falsification of facts etc n yet he was a classic example. may God help us.

deols: oh, thanks sweet. I answered from my own perspective, not giving her religion any consideration. I understand her frustration then and of the other people who'v made contributions.

I only think though that polygamy seems a very realistic ish considering how many christians haven been found practicing it. Last week, I heard of a pastor whose wives knew each other only after his death. The younger has three children and he kept them both within Nigeria.

well, it's not all who profess to be christians re really children of God or interested to do His will and obey his commandents and ll do wateva suits them. pastor/christian that has more than a wife is just a pastor in name; Heaven doesn't reckon wit him. even when d man bcame polygamous b4 he met Christ, He's stil expected to restitue by returning d extra wives to their parents. take care.

[quote author=Na-Me]I was actually wondering the same thing.

And what's about the 'Igbo and Yoruba' men.
Were they the ones that shouted 'Allahu Akbar'?

Plus I thought they were 3 of them who called the attention of the Police to themselves; who then was the third one.
Ok... That one was Ijaw, he just came in from Brasil.[/quote]Na-Me ow re u? abeg no kill me! i've been laughing out since! ve a splendid day!

shymmex: There are certain people who love, and never show it - it depends on the individual...

And also the way people show love is subjective, and that also depends on the individual... We're all different beings, with different temperaments, and our upbringing and experiences in life - also dictate how we show our emotions (Love is an emotion)...

You can't expect a man/woman who has been betrayed all of his/her to show love, the way most people want it to be shown - people like that will always hold back, regardless of how deeply they're in love with you..

I'm an example of that - I never show emotions, no matter how I feel..

i agree wit u and there ll stil be some characters dat u ll show: maybe ur smile, gayness etc. d person u're wit must feel loved or else... it's often said to unlike attract. it's now d place of ur partner to bring out d love in u n nurture it. b4 i met my fiance, i wasn't d lovey dovey type n didn't even believe in marriage but i liked him so much as a friend i look forward to meeting. when we just started, he had to teach me ow to express my feelings by his own examples. gradually, i started bcomin free n today, it's a diff story. u must know d person loves u or have feelings for u b4 u're ready to continue n work at d relationship

@OP: if a man loves a woman, he ll do anything to please her and any little effort from d woman to please him is highly appreciated. on the other hand, if a man doesn't love a woman, nothing she does ever pleases him and wouldn't make him love her more. however, when a man loves a woman n d woman takes him for granted, after a long while, the love starts depreciating and after a while, the guy starts losing interest. love can increase/decrease depending on actions. a man in love ll always show by his actions

deor03: Only Boko Haram is left oh. As soon as corruption creeps in, bombing will stop

lol!

deols: the only wrong thing I see here is he keeping it all from you
the other thing that would be wrong is you asking him to divorce his other wife.

Havent men been known to be naturally polygamous? Let nature take its course. You, be the UK wife and let him av som1 2 be wv anytime he's in Nigeria.

Trust issues though. You may not be able to deal with that. I'd advise you reassess ur situation and think and what's best for u and ur child(if u av any).

Wish u d best

dear deols, everything's wrong wit this story if it's true from d christian standpt. as a poster said, she's not married n men re NOT naturally polygamous, they choose to be irresponsible! d woman's not married b'cos d man was married to another woman. now, d woman should look for d legal wife n apologize then bring them back together n walk out n pray to God for her own husband

ismhab: CRIMINAL ASSOCIATION OF
NIGERIA (CAN) ARE RESPONSIBLE
FOR THIS ATTACK.

re u ALRIGHT