₦airaland Forum

brain54:
Some cultures are just strange…

And absurd.

Most times poverty is the cause of these backwards mentality.

This cute girl with dreams, ambitions and aspirations would have been no more by now… thanks to some useless backward mentality.

Poverty is really a curse… and a disease!

You sabi. My sales girl lost my business money some days to Christmas and I had planned on travelling just after the celebration, I kept cool and restrategized based on what was on me.

I did my movements and forgave her, the mother whom happens to be very close to me called one day around 5am to insult the living day out of me.

We've not spoken ever since, I just support the young lady from far to ensure she gets back to her feet and learn from that experience.

But the mom is very sharp-tongued and insults people with reckless abandon and would claim right always.

You see this thing called backward mentality, it's just excessive pride that they've refused to let go of. Now, a man will have a very beautiful and capable wife, and their children will be impacted upon by an awesome mother all thanks to her rescuer.

Nigeria still got long way to go.

Exmilitant:
But a real niggar should foot all marriage expenses alone if he is to claim the title of head of the house.

That's rubbish.

Many women are becoming unhinged and unappreciative with each passing day because they're not responsible for many activities in their lives.

Someone who pays for everything will understand that nothing is free but someone who gets things done for her will be overly expectant and that becomes a problem.

A woman may abandon some relationship because the man who bankroll it is now bankrupt, but where she's equally reliable and responsible, same man gets to love her forever.

The truth is, many people's ideology of marriage is still largely based on domination, for women, submission is not given until financial domination is asserted, and for men, its still largely for control that's why they seek out the financially handicapped women.

RoyalBlu:
It's been over three weeks now I lost my younger sister to death. I'm still finding it really difficult to get myself together.

The pain of losing her so untimely has shaken me to my roots. The tears won't stop coming.

I've been told to try and move on and be strong. But how

Losing a family member is like having an arm cut off, you may want to use it but it's no longer there.

Try being intentional about life, get everyone else together and start again, and again.

It's going to be painfully hellish but don't think of it much, just keep on.

Imagine Dragons' Wrecked is one song I'll refer you to watch/listen to.

There's no answer, just live right henceforth and give all the love you've got to the rest of your family members.

concho:
When I took over as a director in our company , I noticed that the company’s Secretary is a chronic liar

Most excuses she gives to avoid coming to work always seem like lies to me . But I couldn’t confront her since I don’t have proves .

Today her mum is very sick, tomorrow her dad is about dying .

I also noticed that she doesn’t do her jobs ( financial recordings ) . She is always sleeping at work and says she is sick when confronted .

We started looking for replacements , but I noticed also that she discourages everyone that wants to work .

On Thursday, she said her dad was dead and would be Buried on Saturday . I granted her a leave between Thursday and Saturday and I conclude that I must find her village and attend the burial without telling her .

On getting to her village , I discovered that there was no burial and the parents she constantly used as excuse died years ago

I sent her video I made in her village only for her to tell me that she won’t come to work again .

She handed nothing over to the company . She didn’t provide details of the transactions she did in the previous weeks .

I asked her details of the companies transactions during the Naira scarcity , she refused to come bring these things .

This resignation would take us one year backwards in other to sort her stuffs out. She handed over to no one

If I let her go free , other workers would emulate her .

How do I start nailing her please ??

Use police to pick her up.

She has "negligence of duties" case to answer.

pansophist:
Guys that want a 10/10 babe actually haven't been with one before. If you date one, you'll realise that the juice aint worth the squeeze.

You want to date a girl that spend hours on make-up, wasting your time for outing, a bimbo that have to stop and check her ass on every roadside mirror. A girl that built all her esteem on men calling her fine girl.

A babe that is so fragile because her beauty has made her gone through life on ultra easy mode, that a mere sight of scorpion can give her a heart attack. A girl that live for attention, and a mere criticism can send her to depression.

A girl that any small thing, she want to replace you because she is in a permanent state of confusion with the amount of DM she receives. Thinking she is doing you a favour for dating you.

A girl that will take multiple photos from deceptive angles, then spend untold amount of time editing for social media. A girl that is under the attention spell from social media, which is incomparable to the attention you can give.

A girl that is so used to getting things done her way, that any disagreement will only be reconcile if you accept that she is right, even if she is wrong.

Relationship with her is to accept an unspoken rule of her supremacy, where she judge your usefulness by how much you can score on her ever shifting goalpost, a condition for getting along.

You really don't want them, you just don't know because you haven't been with one yet. If peace is important to you, you'll be extremely lucky to get it from a very beautiful lady. Yes, I said it.

This creeps me to read, forming superior because of fine face? Lol.

Life of Ken sha!

ahnie:
The cheap meal I prepared as dinnerwith just #500
Ingredients
2 sachet tomatoes paste
Ginger n garlic
One knoor seasoning used.
Sachet Benny
Groundnut oil
Crayfish(optional)
My fam is a sucker for crayfish.
Fresh tomatoes
8 cone of raw eggs
Fresh pepper
Fresh tomatoes.

Ahnie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chaloskyx:
bros leave the man go and make legitimate money lets see who would be reaching out its obvious he does not respect you cause you are broke

You're seeing things from one dimension many people are not willing to look at this issue from.

Sometimes, a cup of garri is better to some family members than some people simply because they're broke.

IkeIgboNile pay attention to this man's comment.

africandollar:
'Nwoke Oma' by Chike

💪

sunnymighty:
My story plenty oh, I have set my boundaries, nobody can interfere in my marriage, in as much i did not interfere In theirs. It is well bro.

Keep it up. Sometimes, the enemies that causes us destruction are kit and kins.

God bless you boss.

sunnymighty:
I am the only Male and the second born, gave my all when they all got my married even to their spouses and when it was my turn, they hated my wife coupled with undue interference in my marriage, the last straw was when my elder sister's friend had the gut to report my wife to my sister because they are friends, despite the fact that we are few houses apart, what effrontery! the fool is a divorcee who brings men into her own house.

Imagine how high and mighty they would have felt to interfere in your marriage and also hate your wife.

yazga:
I've been hearing frequent tales on this issue between siblings and its been making me wonder how it all starts.
I love my siblings to pieces and I'm sure they feel the same way towards me so I can't really imagine why anyone would hate theirs so much they do neither see nor talk.
Some even turn their lives into competitions with their brothers/sisters.
A friend once narrated to me how her immediate elder sister treated her while they were staying together and how the sister stylishly threw her out of the house for no real reason asides petty issues.now that she's even married and her elder sister is not,they are sworn enemies!
Two of my aunt (sisters) and at war now-for petty reasons!
One of my friends doesnt know ANYTHING about his brother and they don't ever call each other for no reason!
Why oh why!

No be ordinary something, once one of the siblings foo reasons starts bullying, embarrassing, abusing physically, mentally and emotionally, thwarting the hardwork of his/her siblings, cutting ties becomes inevitable.

brownemmanuel43:
One 5hing about havoc is that, it does not know tribe or religion.
Here is an Igbo businessman that has being saving Nigerians in times of trouble 9utside d country. I hope morrow if he wants to contest or support a candidate they won't tagg him an ipob?
Inside air peace flight, there Hausas, Yorubas, Igbos, ND and MB
Inside air peace flight, there were Muslims, Christians, atheists and some other worshippers.
Inside air peace flight, there were mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.
The air peace owner said something that got my attention and if he should go by what he said, i doubt if d man will ever render any selfless help again

What did he say?

seunmohmoh:
Omooo... Chelsea wan kill me

Sorry.

We will survive, but get interested in other things until New Era starts working like Roman Era.

Banbulu:

"Nwoke Oma" keep sharing it o.

BennyDGreat:
There's need for more....
Who's Dozy?

He's the owner of Tingo Inc.

iLoveYouToo:
Hey! Who’s Dozy?

Mmobuosi Dozy.

Check him out, he owns Tingo

ACRI:
Smart man

Elumelu was toasting him in an interview recently but baba still japa

Whats Elumelu afraid of? Why buy out Ote?? Anyways he don cash out already so na win-win

Two captains shouldn't be in same boat.

Ote$ controls some GenCos in Niger while TransCorp controls Ughelli and Afams Power Plants (alongside the hospitality investment it has).

Tony Elumelu was the one that mopped up dying TransCorp, turned it around and started it out on the path of full Corporate Governance and Profitability.

For Ote$ to gain board seat and begin a hostile takeover will be a waste of effort for Elumelu.

Ote$ is welcome to join and have shares in TransCorp but significantly controlling the Board will be threatening to Elumelu.

RepoMan007:
When will agric get such attention.

Dangote and Dozy dey agric right now.

Wetin Ote$ sabi, Tony Elumelu sabi am too.

One day, I go soft like Tony.

Fineman2:
My name is John. I am 35 years old. I lost my first wife in 2020, so I remarried in 2021 so that my daughter can grow up with a motherly love.

However, my new wife has made it a point of duty to always maltreat my daughter.

Each time, I want to interfere, she tells me to stay out of it. I know I should stand up for my daughter but I am in love with this woman because she came into my life when I needed someone the most.

I reached out to the family of my late wife last month to allow my daughter to stay with them while I send money for her upkeep, but they refused. They said my daughter cannot grow up without a mother and still grow up without the presence of a father in her life.

I have had several conversations with my wife and I have begged her to accommodate my daughter since she is yet to conceive but she told me to get rid of her from the house.

She practically complains about everything my daughter does. I am unhappy about this but at the moment, I am caught in between the woman I love and my beloved daughter.

Please what should I do?

For now, please don't get your wife pregnant so that it will be easier to throw her out without much ties in the marriage.

Your second wife no get sense, instead of nurturing the child and ensuring that she sees her as mother, she's busy marking unsure territory for unsure child(ren).

SundayNightGist:
Sharing this story with you is risky because it's a true story and it actually happened, but I'm not deterred as I'm on a mission to sanitize our society of all forms of immorality. Now lets get right into it without any further ado.

My office is located in Gwarinpa in Abuja and my boss is a very busy man who hardly stays in the office. We have another branch in Guzape (Asokoro extension) where my boss hired a lady as the manager in charge. This particular lady is fair and very endowed both ways (I mean front and back). She's attractive too, no doubt. She happens to be a single mother with a son. My boss on the other hand is a family man with four kids.

I had just joined the company when I started noticing that this lady usually drives the company's Mazda salon car to our branch (the headquarters) every week (Thursdays to be precise) to hold a "private meeting" with my boss. Word in the office has it that she was coming for weekly "reporting". Honestly I never once bothered to try and find out what was really going on as I'm the type that is very serious with my work.

Not until the guys in the office started bantering in groups and talking about what was actually going on. Again, I shrugged off their conversation because what's my business, and besides, I don't do office gossip. Well, not until one fateful day....

As I was hurrying up a task given to me by my boss in my usual seriousness with my work, I needed to rush to his office to get his final approval on something that he had asked me to do when I ran into the unbelievable!

Was I dreaming? Was my eyes paining me? For Pete's sake, what was this? In broad daylight that evening, as I knocked, my boss answered "come in" nonchallantly. I don't know what he was thinking. Lo and behold, there they were, he and our branch manager both standing on their feet and very close to each other with my boss unzipping her dress with his both hands! I was embarrassed and so were they. Usually, whenever this lady is around my boss would immediately close all his window curtains. This normally happens around or after closing (remember I told you I'm a serious office worker, so I stay back a lot because naturally I work late into the night everyday).

Since that incident, whatever I say in any meeting involving this particular lady is always accepted and approved by her whether it makes sense or not. In fact, she's trying to move close to me and become my friend by force now to the extent that she even chats with me privately now regularly.

While a man has the full right to do whatever he likes, my question is why do this in the workplace? Why would my boss engage in office romance right in the office building? And why is the lady in question now trying to get close to me by force now? Am I in any real danger? I don't want to lose my job. Please what do I do?

Befriending her and making sure that you're not going to spill whatever you saw or know will get her off your back

KingLennon:
How many have collected the plastic?




That Pantami na hediot aswear

I did first registration in 2013 and collected plastic ID card in 2018, some months back, I was sent text messages of a new card because the old one will expire this year's September.

I was shocked when I received this texts cos, I was thinking of what ID card I'd be carrying with me always.

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

This is the saddest thing I've read.

My dear, some people really enjoy seeing other people suffer for no just understandable reasons, so, don't let it deride you.

Brace up and navigate through life despite the indelible pain she has left in your heart.

Stand your ground dear.

As for your husband, he didn't get it right by preparing for this war on time.

I'll keep saying this, know the elements around you and prepare for war/peace which may arise should that elements gets to come for you.

Men must prepare for things like this or suffer everlasting defeat, even, from close family sources.

Once again, so sorry.

apache4:
FalseProphet1 if you don't return my money before the end of today, i will let the whole World know how you duped/scammed me

NLFPmod please cage this human being, he's been constituting nuisance on Nairaland and blackmailing a fellow forum member.

Such individuals are not to be given platforms for blackmail and other negative ways of harming anyone here.

KAM3KAZI:
Women also hold responsibility here but will never take it,and women like you will never admit to it.
I remember hearing a woman say she is attracted to unstable men,men that will do all the things you listed and more. Is it also a man's fault there??
Is it a man's fault if a female can't keep her legs closed? Is it a man's fault that a woman has no virtue??
Blaming men has always been a woman's favourite pastime
Y'all be tripping heavily

Bro, I'm no female but a man too.

Women holds shared responsibilities too, that's why I said I support their contribution towards eradicating Baby mama. Their opinions should be holistically looked into and fitted into solutions towards eradicating Baby Mama syndrome than trashing it.

Her position that jobless and unstable men should desist from engaging in sex, most importantly, unprotected sex is valid.

Be truthful and honest, men needs to look inwards as well. As a man, I've been told to do lots of things but I always didn't bulge because it was something I considered a recipe for poverty and other vices.

IyaebeTheGreat:
OP, that lady has sense for saying she can't date a youth corper, what does a youth corper has to offer her apart from using her to practice all sort of fantasies and sex styles? I knew very early in life that I should never date an unemployed man that has nothing meaningful to offer. There are ages of men you don't date(18-29) these men in this age range are not settled, you'll end up miserable if you date them. God bless that sensible lady wherever she is.

I support this, many baby mamas and papas will not exist if men don't sexually engage in active sexual relationships while broke.

I've seen too many cases and it's not palatable. Women getting broken and rendered almost unmarriageable.

golddust6000:
guy onu imo is not a local government in imo state please, they called it onu imo because it borders imo state and abia state.

Onuimo is a local government between Mbano and Okigwe LGAs.

Malaysia market in Umungwa, Obowo LGA is also termed Onuimo because its an entry point from Umuahia South LGA, Abia state into Obowo LGA, Imo state.

Don't misinform people here.

Jungpablo:
the problem started from after secondary school by forcing the poor boy to study pharmacy, the football situation is even after he dropped out from school, you guys don’t read to understand you just read to respond.

From my comments, I didn't exonerate the father in any guise, but rather, I'm proffering diplomatic means to bring that boy out of his current predicament of having a dictatorial father who smothers his dreams each time it rears it heads.

That boy learning diplomacy will make him a perfect courtier even in his career, he might be talented but even in football, there's politics and that power and authority that dictates who plays and who doesn't will smother him again and make him a wandering man and leave him unfortunate unfulfilled in life.

Let him learn the subtle acts of playing politics for whatever he wants, negotiating and offering something interesting before taking.

If he can survive his father this way, he can survive even hired assassins.

That boy is purely emotional right now and it's working against him to his own detriment.

I stand my grounds, the father is a brutish dictatorial figure, such individuals succumb easily to subtle manipulations on a long-term basis.

That boy should start playing his home politics and retire his father with diplomatic subtlety than taking rash decisions. I'm sorry for that boy but trust me, the noose his father has on him is damn smothering and tight.

1. Suicide on his part will hurt everyone and its a selfish end. His dreams dies with him too.

2. Running off might offer glimmers of hope by giving him freedom. But freedom without the requisite resources to survive will thoroughly affect him in all facets of life and make off him a criminal actor in society or a deadbeat if he eventually survive it.

3. Negotiations and diplomatic ends will give him one of either footballing career or his choice course of Computer science.

I can't endorse such parenting but he has a way out by negotiating with his father.

booksbo0k:
Sorry for the long write up my people, I need advice.

My first son has been behaving somehow in our family, as if he's not part of this family...
You and this boy can be in the same house but you might not set your eyes on him once for a whole day. He will be inside his room through out...

He has been telling me that he is currently working on going to rent his own place and live on his own and that if God helps him and he is able to achieve that, He will not have anything to do with our family again and that we will never set eyes on him ever again :[ ...

I would have not been bothered by such statement if it were coming from someone else, I would take it as a bluff. But this my son is someone that normally doesn't call people to check on them, not even us his parents..

When he was in his previous University before he dropped out, this boy can go for months, that is a whole semester stretch without calling anybody to know how you're doing, except you call him or maybe he wants to ask for money for something or school stuff....

We have five children and he is the first, the second and third children are away in University, he and the two last siblings are the only one's with us.. My husband refused him from going to University in a far place instead he gives him transport money to be going to his own University from home everyday...... He and his father don't even talk again except good morning greetings. He is only 21 ohh..

Let me give you guys small back story so that you can understand how all these things started.

My son graduated from secondary school (a boarding school) in 2017 at 16 years old... Initially, he said he wanted to study computer science as he said that was the course he loved and wanted to study. But my husband refused and persuaded him to study pharmacy because he worked at NAFDAC and he saw the way pharmacy graduates were living at his work place and the salary they were recieving. He and one of his chemist friend sweet talked him into going to study the course and I guess it was because he was young then and could not challenge his dad then that was why he gave in....

He wrote JAMB but he did not meet the cut of mark for pharmacy (but I later realised his score was good for computer science then)... No public University was willing to admit him for pharmacy then because his score was not good for the course but due to my husband love for the course and not wanting my son to lose admission that year , he decided to go the way of private University not minding their school fees...Long story cut short, my son got admitted into Madonna University where we were paying 1M naira every year.....After 3 years in the school and in 300L @18 years old, he began saying he was not interested in the school any longer, that he was tired of the course, that he's body is no longer in the school and blablabla that he wants to go and play football in Europe...

He came back for holiday during the beginning of covid and refused to go back to the school when they resumed, saying that he was only wasting our money by being in that school and he did not want to continue.....This got my husband really sad and angry....My son stayed home for almost two years doing nothing because my husband was adamant that if he would not go back to school, nothing for him, that all the money he has spent for school fees in that school can not be for waste that he can become a footballer after he graduates, saying no one can become a successful footballer without being a graduate, that it would later affect them in life...

But my son refused. I must confess, my son is extremely good at playing football. That was the talent i can confidently say that God personally gave to him from birth. Infact when he was graduating from secondary school, they gave him the award for the best graduating footballer and he was always the centre of attention anytime he plays at our church events. He friends used to call him "nima" then, I think...

I and my husband got tired of him staying at home for long so I went to meet with one pastor in our street who was based in the UK with his family but comes home sometimes for church related matters. I explained my son's situation to him and he offered to help my son travel out to chase his football career provided we have the funds for it. The man was secondary school class mates with "victor ikpe ekong" who was a former super eagles player but currently a pastor in Sweden. To my greatest surprise he called him on a WhatsApp video call in my presence and i was really surprised...He gave me the man's phone number to keep in contact and also scheduled a day to meet with my husband and have a discussion.. I told my son and he was very happy..I also told my husband and he was eager to meet with him at least, anything to solve my sons idleness at the time..

The pastor came to my our house on several occasions and discussed with my husband. My husband kept telling the pastor, saying he would like my son to be going to school while chasing his football career at the same time, a feat which pastor let us know would be difficult as one has to be dropped for the other. Unfortunately, my husband changed he's mind and said he was no longer interested in the whole footballer thing. He said he knew that my son wanted to become a footballer only because of girls. That he, my son knew that if he becomes a footballer, all the girls would like him, that that was the only reason he wanted to become a footballer, and that if football was his true destiny, he doesn't need to travel out for it to manifest, that he can be in Nigeria and make it from here.....That was how that chapter close like that. Pastor left for England few months after.....

After years of my son staying at home, my husband got tired. One night, he hired some Street thugs to come take my son away and beat him up...my son stayed with them for 2 weeks. When he returned, he said he was ready to go back to school. But my husband told him he won't be going back to any private University again. My son wrote jamb again to study computer science and was admitted into COOU. but my said he would not allow him go to any University that is not in the same state we are residing. Now the problem here was that all the public schools in the state we are staying will not accept you to study computer science unless you did chemistry in jamb. And my son did not do chemistry in jamb because he is not good in chemistry. If he was to study in the same state we were staying, he had to settle for another course, which he did...Now another problem arose. My husband refused to rent an apartment for my son around the school because the school is considerably far from our house, instead he decided to be giving him money (2000) everyday as transport fare to be going from home. This did not sit down well with my the boy and he again, said he was no longer interested in schooling again sef that he can't be going such far distance from home to the school everyday to study a Course he does not even like siting that it would be stressful and affect his academics and that it was unwise to be paying 60k a year as school fees while you spend 2k everyday as transport..My husband got angry and called on our estate CSO to come pick him up. They beat him so badly in public that when he got back home later in the evening, I went to check him in his room, his buttocks and back where scarred and red with huge marks...

Ever since, he has been going to the school from home and he has become very distant from us especially his dad. They don't talk again in the same house except "good morning sir"...

My son has turned into something else. He can stay indoors from morning till night. I would have said he has started keeping bad company but he does not even have a single friend, not one..Nobody calls him, and he doesn't call anybody...I have five children and he is the first. The second and third already gained admission this year in a private University and are in school currently, so he and he's last two siblings are the only one's with us now..

Why I'm writing this is because I'm scared..I'm beginning to fear that my son might commit suicide, he's beginning to show that kind of attitude.. And the plans he have to leave us forever to go and stay alone, I don't like it ohhhh...

Nairalanders please I need your advice.

You see the Father, I believe has armtwisted the boy too much, which will make him harbour resentful thoughts towards everyone.

At 17/18/19, I was equally angry with many things and almost left Abuja and resettle in Akwa Ibom due to suppression similar to what your son is passing through.

But on another note, your son lacked diplomacy to get his father off his way by comprising a little before running off on his own.

If he had pledged to be going to school and pursuing his footballing career, it would have given him leeway to enter the UK and pursue his dreams.

In life, freedom is not given, it's taken by negotiations, not outright wars because even if he wins the war with his father, can he sustain himself?

The father is looking out for him, but his ego is also working against him.

My advice, your son must stop expecting to be given everything, else, he loses it all and himself, rather, he should work smartly and diplomatically to get his ways and sustain himself.

Let him kill that thought of running off, it's terrible outside these days, so burning the bridge between his father and himself will make him a prodigal son.

Also, your husband should have stopped using brutish character against his fellow man from the age of 15 and employ diplomacy as a way to reach him, else, like Jaja in Purple Hibiscus, he too will be at the mercy of that boy someday and he'll not hesitate to strike him fatally.