₦airaland Forum

Don't you know that is why their marriage lasts forever

Clothingonline9:
Am not surprised their president name is Amaka 60 percent of Igbo ladies do runs before getting married

Abi NCDC Don turn this coro thing to scam? I suppose Ekiti was declared Covid-19 free yesterday. Who brought the virus back to Ekiti between yesterday and today?

It's going to be a tough time for family where no love reigns.

Spot on

PrimadonnaO:
Now, I know this is going to be controversial, but I really don't care for crowd cheering. For the sake of clarity, and so everyone is able to weigh their options carefully, I'd like to state a few things.

Marrying a woman who earns is really great, it would make life a lot easier. But there are so many things you must consider.

1. Most men marry in their early to mid-30s. Are you marrying a girl who's your age mate? If she's between 22 to 27, then she's probably just leaving school or rounding off with NYSC. Excuse me, Sir, did you did you get financially stable right after school? If not, please marry your mate who's in her 30s. Oh, wait a minute, y'all call them evening newspapers!

2. Do you realise that life is in stages, and these phases come at different times for different people? So she's not earning today, is that how things will be forever?

3. You must realise that you should marry a woman who can live within your means... who can be content with what you're able to provide. Anything other than that will simply frustrate you. Why do you think you commonly find men marrying below their status?

4. No matter how much you wish things were different, women are not naturally wired to be providers. From the beginning of time, it was Adam who was cursed to till the ground for his daily bread, not Eve. That one was cursed with tortuous childbearing. So if you make a woman do the things that you're supposed to do, you'll create anarchy in your home. She'll most likely be disgruntled and it will start manifesting in her actions.
If you're tired of being or don't know how to be a man, just come as a woman in your next life.

In a house she's paying rent for you want to start keeping late nights, or having shady movements, or having her tether to the needs of all your village people who troop in by the hour. Hahahahaa. She'll throw you out!

5. Some of you men talking about the women in your offices, did they tell you they split bills 50/50 with their husbands? I have lots of female colleagues, and women talk. You guys know nothing!

6. Even if she's gainfully employed or running a thriving business, I think the mindset that she must split bills with you is a problematic one. Yes, it is natural that when she earns, she would help around with bills in the home. But don't bank on it... don't make your plans around your wife's income. A man's primary responsibility is to provide for his home, anything else is support, assistance, and you know what those words mean, yeah? If the rent or kids school fees get due before you're able to pay it, no hassles l'll pay it ASAP, but I'll be expecting a refund!
My area of support without expecting reimbursement are;
If you bring 100k for monthly upkeep, and the foodstuff or things I want to do around the house require more than that, I'll make up the balance without stress.
If the gas runs out before you get to refill, I'll top up.
I'll fuel my car myself, buy all my weaves, and maintain my wardrobe myself.
I can give my children whatever treat I feel like, make them look good, without asking you.
If the utility bill comes when you're not home, I pay up.
I buy you random gifts, and throw surprise birthday parties for you.
If you need a loan, I give to you, and you pay back with interest!
Should you fall on hard times, and your income isn't coming in, I'll naturally step up and take care of everything until you get back on your feet.

Having said all that, a woman who earns tangibly is actually doing herself a world of good. Personally, I can't for the life of me fathom why anyone would want to be a fulltime housewife. But it's not in my place to criticise. Everyone's got their peculiar preferences. I understand the need to be very much involved in my children's lives.
Actually, I'm still wracking my head on how to get around that when the time comes... build a solid career, raise intelligent and very well-behaved Godly children, look after my home and husband...
So maybe some women simply see holding a job and achieving all these as an impossible task. Some men, too, simply prefer to have fulltime housewives for their unique reasons. Each man to his own.

All the long story summarily is;
1. You want to marry a woman who's earning money... think about her age and prospects.
2. Even if she's earning, providing for the family still remains your chief responsibility. That's what being a man is.
3. Stop condemning people who would rather be, or marry housewives. It's their call. Not yours.

Fallacy [quote author=ubunja post=87965410][/quote]

Bad market. Your case is not the first. There are also many cases of women who disappointed the husband in bed at their wedding night.

Wait for three years. Then you can go to court to iron out the issue

clevvermind:
advice this sister.

My Newlywed Husband Cannot Perform In Bed.
What Should I do?


I have two objectives of sharing this pathetic story of mine, one, to educate every young single lady out there. Two, to seek advice on what to do.
Growing up as a young lady, I always look forward to that day I will get married to my own husband, have children and in a happy home. But what am currently seeing now is the total opposite of my wish.
I met Tunji during my NYSC service in Kwara State, he is a handsome young looking guy, smart and a banker at one of the new generation banks in the state.
Just a year into our relationship, he proposed marriage to me. It was a wonderful thing to me and a surprise as he did this on the eve of my birthday. Without wasting time, I quickly gave him a “YES” answer.
Three months later we got married. On our wedding day, we received so many blessings from both parents and wishes from loved ones but it seems none of the blessings and wishes is working in our marriage.
The episodes of the story started on my wedding night. As a young lady and a newlywed bride, I expected that night to be special (you know what I mean) but what I experienced was a total difference.
My newlywed husband cannot perform his duty as a man (sexually), I mean his pen!s did not rise at all. It was just like a rubber hose. what should I do?

ubunja, come and carry your sister

Voy:
A certain lady on Twitter has sparked a debate on the micro-blogging site about men and women.

This lady whose name was Queen Bin Laden took to her handle to tell her fellow ladies that they should work on their personalities and attitude because men can survive with or without.

The lady wrote,
“Men of today can cook, clean & do laundry. Basically they can do all chores & they can finance their lifestyle


So stop acting like these black men need you just because you have a big ass & juicy pvssy



Work on ur personality & attitude because with or without you he will survive


These black men are so independent and they work very hard…as a matter of fact, “we need them more than they need us”


Honestly, most women just squirt and fart…that’s basically their contribution in a relationship



Sometimes she doesn’t love you, she loves how available you are to her financial needs.


That is why most of the time when a man lose his job he also lose his woman”

Werin una think

Make your own money first. This is what gives you power as the man of your house. If she makes money, good. And if she doesn't, no whala. Be careful guys, Don't go and marry a lady that makes money and use it to your disadvantage.

2buffagain:
Gentlemen. The reality of living in the 20th century has changed, and so must every notion formed from previous days that no longer hold weight today.

Women are not the only ones who should be asking what you do.
You should also be asking her what she does....and guaging her wifeability from her response.
Nobody likes to suffer...yourself included. So why sign up for a lifetime of every financial request of your immediate family (and possibly both your extended families ) coming to just you alone?

Gone are the days where families survived on one income alone. Those days, houses in Nigeria used to cost #5M or less. These same houses now cost well over #30M.

I can bet your income did not also inflate 6x over the same time.

The reality is that you need a wife who also brings something home, and honestly it should hopefully be around the same (or more God willing) of what you pull in.

This way one person's income can cover the family stuff and the other person's income goes towardssavings/investments/emergencies/joblessness buffering/ etc. Your family will go farther and you can even both retire earlier if this is done right.

Also Naija guys please, have some respect for yourself.
If you meet a girl and she has the mental configuration of always wanting money from you, just know that she is not the one.

As a sister here once said, "A girl who truly likes you, won't ask you for money...unless it's bad and you are her last resort."
Na woman talk am. Believe that sister. Peep that one game from her, and most of you will be alright.

If a girl really likes you, she'll be too busy trying to think of ways to be an asset to your life or impress you...not a taker.

Get you a girl who makes her money with a good source of income and who understands that her income is to be included in plans.

You have been told.
You should be done with your broke girl phase right about now ^{(much like how women should be done with their bad boy stage).}
It does nothing for your life.

NOTE: I am not saying go and marry an idiot because she makes money.... Obviously.
You are still looking for a good wife, who just ALSO happens to be equipped with income and/or good income prospects and drive.

Tinubu should shut up. Is he not part of the FG?

ijustdey:
https://www.dailytrust.com.ng/covid-19-my-position-on-economy-misreported-tinubu.html

Guys IPPIS is situated in the core of Civil Service. So do you think it can be separated from the inefficiency that is characteristic of the decadent Nigeria Civil Service? Non teaching unions already lost the battle when they fell for the IPPIS deception. Henceforth, we can only hope and pray for minimum challenges in receiving our monthly salaries.

Mazikic:
Today is Monday, still nothing is forthcoming. I don't know what they're smoking at the IPPIS office; you know the country is on lockdown and markets are closing, and you still don't want to disburse on time for people to buy things.

These are usual things that have been happening to Nigerians. We go survive as usual.

mekaboy:
This lockdown is supposed to stop the spread of this virus. This would have been the case in a developed country. Where the entire country could be disinfected during the lockdown, people are provided with food and shelter etc.

But the the reverse will most likely be the case in Nigeria. Here are 5 things Nigeria will most likely achieve with the lockdown.

1) basic esentials will be on the rice.

2) more jobs will be lost

3) Nigerians will become poorer

4) crime will increase

5) more Nigerians will die from other diseases like High Blood pressure, depression, malnutrition etc due to lack of access healthcare and emergency response.

At some point violence and lawlessness will have a field day and people wont even care anymore if they are infected or not . This will lead to a wider spread.

Read the governor's speech very well. He is making provision to pay non civil servants across the state for economic loss in the period of the total lock down

Untainted007:
Shut down here and there, yet no provision for wot people will eat at home. Tell me when hunger strikes people within few days of staying inside, won't they end up turning down the order. Prices of food stuffs has gone double the usual price and yet no money in circulation. Only God will help us all.

Pastor Adeboye of RCCG donated some support items

This could be as a result of wrong credit alert narration. Your colleague and sister in law should take it as their March salary if they have received February few weeks back. Some operators at IPPIS are prone to errors such as this and other critical ones. Let's brace up for more challenges from them.

freeman500:
I dont use mobile app, and Zenith bank alert that came in just said
NEFT/CBN/IPPIS TRANSACTION ACCOUNT.
The month wasnt specified.
Secondly i didnt get Febuary initially this alert is my first alert since i registered in IPPIS. Its my colleague and my sis-inlaw that got Febuary alert again.

If that is the case, then there is something suspicious about the explosion. Who knows if it was an act of terrorism that went wrong? Was the city of Akure the target and the explosives detonated before reaching target? These are questions that beg for answers.

Matrimonous:
Maybe that lie wasn't going to work cos there is no such company in Benin city willing to falsely claim responsibility.

Earlier story released to the media had it that a truck conveying quarry dynamites belonging to a construction company in Benin city, developed electrical fault and went up in flames, causing an explosion that destroyed a number of houses and building facilities at the Environment. How come the police are now claiming responsibility?

Really? I don't think it made newsheadline

Johnnyessence:
his own is negative.

Very bigger problem.

nautybride:
So, it doesn't happen during the day. You try o! That girl has a bigger problem.

Thanks sir. Please how much is the 75' LED Smart TV

Onlinealaba:
Thanks for checking on us but we don't sell LCD sir.. 75" LED smart TV Available tho.. kindly check my signature for contact

What about Governor Fayemi of Ekiti State. We have not heard from him yet ever since he went into isolation.

Waiting for mine

Mrgreatness:
Now I'm convinced the new minimum wage has been paid
Same as February

Please, How much can I get a 100' LCD flat screen TV

Be ready to live with her dark secret or allow her to go her way now. Don't waste another person's daughter's time.

I once dated a lady who was bedwetting. I got to know this when she passed a night at my place. We had sex and slept. Hardly had I closed my eyes in sleep when I discovered the bedsheets had become cold. Guys, she had bedwetted. With all my bed soaked with her urine, I got out from the bed and went to sleep on the couch in the sitting room. When she woke up she felt embarrassed and started crying and begging me. She later told me that she had dated a yahoo boy before and it was after she broke up with him that she noticed that she started bedwetting. It was her dark secret but guys I can't spend the rest of my life with a bedwetting woman.. Na style I later used break up with her.

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Chai bruh, you don suffer enough waiting for all those years before landing a decent job. But my advice is that please don't be hell bent on settling down only with a working class lady. If she is not working, that is the only way you get to press her mumu buttons very well. Look for a lady that your current economic status can impress not the one who will look at you in the face and call your bluff after marriage just to prove she is a working class like you too

Impostor:
Hello NLders

I just want to share my experience. I want people to learn from others.

So recently I started dating and meeting women with the mindset of getting married as everyone around me keep shouting that I am getting overripe. Some are even wondering if everything is ok downstairs lol. How can you not be married up till now? You know those types of comments. But how could I have gotten married when unemployment no release me until 36? Nigeria is something else. It was at that age that I finally landed a decent job. I am even lucky to be where I am now.

So many youths are underemployed/under paid. Less than a month ago, a good friend who is also my course mate messaged me to express his frustration at teaching somewhere for 50k and he said he's now ready to make money anyhow even if it will take someone's blood . It's just a threat out of frustration.

The problem now is that I don't know if there are still good women like our mothers in this country. I have met so many young girls that I have stopped trying, the quest and hunger of these girls for money is just too much.

You are unemployed and you want me to buy you an iPhone of 150,000 Naira and she was making so much noise about it. Meanwhile I use a phone of 30k lol. Almost all the ladies I am meeting are unemployed and expensive. I met one girl awaiting NYSC, she told me straight up, that I will have to be taking care of her, that she's tired of dating broke guys so she has decided that any man she wants to date will have to be responsible for her completely. It sounded like a transaction. Though she's a very pretty, tall girl but I am not even after all those facial beauty.

Another lady told me she has half of her rent and she's looking for the remaining half. The stories are so many, I could write a book with them. I don't even know how to get working class ladies. But I have now realized that Nigerian ladies are not even the problem, it's the economy. Many young ladies are struggling just like guys and the only way they can meet up with their bills is by dating 3/4 guys.


Advise from my experience.

After my NYSC, over 10 years ago, I had this mind set that I won't get married without a job or funds to take proper care of my family. I think that mindset MAY be wrong, so many people still think this way.

I will advise you look at it again because it may take you 15/20 years after University to become comfortable (not your portion). Let me be sincere with you, this Nigeria is getting worse by the day especially with the type of leaders we have, who think only of themselves and their families/tribe.

For example, you can see for yourself what is happening with the outbreak of Corona Virus in the country. After 2 infection, people started advising that we should stop foreign flights, they refused until so many infected people got into the country, now they are running up&down. If we are lucky to get good leaders after now, it may take another 30 years of continuous good leadership to save Nigeria.

My advise is that after your NYSC, if you have a supportive family and a good/understanding girl friend, just marry her and start your family. You two will Hussle together and God will bless your hustle. You may ask why? Because most people finish around 25. If it takes you 10 years to become stable and get married, if you are lucky, you will have your first child at 36, 37. By the time you are 50, your child will be in junior secondary.

Be wise money is not everything.

Only the court of law can dissolve any marriage. Traditional or church marriage can only be dissolved by customary courts. Islamic marriage can be dissolved by both customary or sharia court while Statutory Marriage will be dissolved by Magistrate Court.

However, if a marriageless union has produced kids, the woman can approach a family court to claim welfare or child support for the kids if the man in question refuses to take responsibility for the kids.

Remijuice:
Please Forgive my Grammar.
A man and a woman living together as husband and wife with kid(s) but are not legally Married. That is, no Traditional or Court Wedding.
If one of them decides not interested in the Union, should he/she go to court before they are Separated?

Modified ; If there is no Divorce Proceedings, what happens to the kids?

Lalasticlala

LMAO ...Another medicine after death

Carbuyer83:

LMAO, Bruh, this is medicine after death.

Samakus:
https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/382107-just-in-ssanu-makes-u-turn-joins-ASUU-to-reject-ippis.html




It's even on Nairaland front page today

The feeler from my institution as at this afternoon is that the payment of February salary will commence on IPPIS from tomorrow based on the new minimum wage. The payment will be in gross or net salary without any deduction apart from TAX and PENSION. This is to enable individual staff ascertain the total amount of his/her salary based on the new minimum wage consequential adjustment. In subsequent months, cooperative loans, bank loans, union dues and other deductions shall be made from the source.

However, my viewpoint on the effectiveness of the IPPIS still remains that of skepticism.

Well, let's wait and see what happens tomorrow.

You are right. FG will resolve to GIFMIS but not only after una don suffer salary delay and embark on industrial action. You guys should know how FG operates. FG no dey comply with workers demand unless strike action has been declared. This is why I am a bit relieved with ASUU' two weeks warning strike. STRIKE is the only language FG understands.

Samakus:
This cannot be true. Once staff that enrolled on IPPIS are not paid, there will be total shutdown of the education system. Government cannot afford that. They might likely resort to using GIFMIS to pay. Already, ASUU strike has brought tension to them

LeopardX:
I think this cerpvad of a guy is just an alarmist that's all.
He's probably not even a FG staff.
That being said, whether they pay this month or not, we gonna survive and become stronger

In the long run, nothing spoil!

Beebsquare1:
Abi oo am already seeing my period here despite that am a man...... Hunger can make someone get frustrated.