₦airaland Forum

Na the video games go be human company you go badly need at your old age àbí? Na the premiere league go dey fulfil your sexual fantasy at old age? I pity you you bruh

Kennedyiheme:
lol how can a man be lonely, when there is premier league, la liga, seria a.. when i can always play video games?.. am i a woman?

I keep saying it that those of you who are against marriage now, na loneliness go kill you at old age.

Kennedyiheme:
I don't know about you but I'm not interested at all... lol i see nothing in for me, there's no point, we don't live in 1960 anymore where women had high moral values, an average woman these days have a body count of over 500...

Here's a study that says younger men aren't interested in marriage
https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/young-men-giving-up-on-marriage-women-arent-women-anymore

Your time here doesn't matter to anyone. Everyone does what works best for him. Thanks for checking by.

ubunja:
I really don't have time to reason with you on this.

Do what you think it's best.

Single mother knows the nitty-gritty of child delivery and care. She has a first hand experience with child training and any complexity that could come with it. She is a ready-made mother. So who do you think will raise my kid better? A single mother who has experience with kids or a fresh single lady who has not cut her teeth in motherhood?
Every kid you see, either it is yours or not, deserves good fatherly care and sometimes, it does not matter if such care comes from biological father or not

ubunja:
lol so exactly what's special about giving birth? When it was not even your kid??

Life is a journey that will end one day. From the pictures below, you must be at a particular stage now. Whichever one is it, make the best of it.

Hmmm... this guy has just committed the sin of Sowore. Let's wait for DSS's reaction to this before this week runs out.

Earlystar698:



https://mobile.twitter.com/adeyanjudeji/status/1216790655533535235

It appears you have a first hand knowledge of the case. I guess you and the lady are friends?

Lizzydonnah:
Op is not serious... Thank God the Lady left, she deserve better than him

This is a big lesson. I have always maintained that marriage is all about power and class relationship. I always advise guys to marry down and within their social economic circle.

Trivia:
They say events come at you either as blessings or lessons. My marriage has been half of both. I married from a relatively richer family, and I must add that the fact that my wife came from a wealthy family, had absolutely no influence on my choice. I met her when her parents were not as wealthy as they would later become, and we were in love. At that time, my parents gave me a ‘mid-budget vehicle’ shortly after my graduation from a state University in Nigeria. And so, even though my father was not Dangote, he could afford quality life and education for his children. My wife’s parents over the years ascended in wealth and riches, and our wedding was relatively big. Dowry from her side of Nigeria was expectantly high, and I paid it with relative ease.

Fast forward to seven years afterwards, when as a man your financial apron-strings to your parents has had to be cut even before leaving your parents’ house, as you make your way for yourself. I have come to learn that these apron-strings are easier to cut for a man than they are for women, especially women from comparatively well to do backgrounds, and hence the troubles for the unwise woman in this situation.
Leaving the comfort of my father’s house in Ibadan, I could afford a mid-income apartment in a sub-urban part of Lagos, with few house gadgets and facilities. My business was doing great, and even though not luxury, our living was comfortable. But then, comfort is subjective, for no matter how much sacrifices I put into stocking my abode with items to ensure comfort for my wife, she and her parents always believed I could do better. They rarely visited, and when they did, would sit in a corner with their noses in the air, and as they leave shortly I would swear they will take a long bath in hand-sanitizers when they got home. Nonetheless, I did do better, and over the years things went on fine at the expense of my personal self-care.

And then came that family-finance stifling recession. You assure yourself that things would be fine, and all you needed to do was double your hustle. Hustle doubled, and results reduced. Bills increased, and nagging followed suit. I have found out that a woman’s nagging on her husband could either be overt or covert. I’d take the overt nagging any day, over the quiet and obvious discontent. At least with the expressed discontent, you can target your financial attention. No matter how much you try, her communication reduces and you know why. She starts visiting her parents more often, and discussing financial choices with them. They start dropping hints into her bank account. She starts paying some bills and buying ‘luxury food-items’, but you cannot complain, even though you know where the money came from. Yet you double, nay, triple your hustle and hope for better days.

And that’s when the problems started- A classic case of he who pays the piper. Her parents start giving instructions without consulting you. It starts with suggestions, and then downright directives on how your home should be run. But you are the man of the house and you direct otherwise. Short of them laughing at your effrontery, they are infuriated that you dare overrule their wishes. Who are you? You observe the gradual disappearance of your wife’s respect for you, while you notice that her parents don’t even factor your presence in any equation. You are vilified, and your wife is torn between obeying her parents’ wishes and abiding by your directives.

I give you an example. This here school is where my children will go, because that’s what I can afford and they are happy in this school, you say. And the response through her, of course because they don’t call you directly but speak to your wife. They say, ‘what? That school? Okay, find a better school in your neighbourhood and let us know how much it costs.’ You get to know about this when your wife starts hunting for a new (expensive) school. I can’t afford that for the two of them, you say. ‘Don’t worry,’ she responds. ‘Mummy said she will pay for it.’ Now, domestic violence is a big matter to the state government and the news is rife with men sent to jail for wife battery. Otherwise, you would have sent those series of slaps in quick succession, enough to wipe her make-up clean off and change her phone network. Besides, if you had done that, her parents would be glad to take her back in their huge mansion, while you battle for your children’s custody or even access to them. Since you can’t react, you swallow your anger and put your foot down, albeit tenderly.

But things did change for the better part of 2017, far better than before, and during the festive season you conveniently sent bags of rice and vegetable oil to them. Occasionally, you send recharge cards and cash, no matter how small to them, while maintaining your physical absence. You can now restrict your wife’s visit to them. I must add, that the respect has grown tremendously, and hilariously too. Now they call for permission before they send her on errands. Now their calls always go unanswered because I am busy, and they graciously understand, and just wanted to check up on you.

Lessons: In family relationships, money is important. Your love is noticed when supported with money. Maintain your respect with strategic absence. Money used strategically buys your wife's (and in-laws) respect. Teach your wife to always reveal lesser information than necessary; the less you reveal to people (in-laws) about what goes on internally, the better, and more respect both of you get. There can only be one captain in a ship, and as a husband you need to put your foot down, sometimes diplomatically. Your ships must sail in one direction, and orders are from only one captain. As much as possible, reduce or eliminate holes in your matrimonial walls, to prevent matrimonial lizards from creeping in. No matter what you are going through, you will go through it. I knew that that phase would pass, and I pray I live to tell this tale to my kids when they are about to get married. Importantly, I have learnt that my boys should pick from a home and not a house with arrogant in-laws with the feeling of entitlement. And if you can avoid it, try not to marry a woman from a wealthy background, unless you can assure yourself of her humility.

Good point. In addition, the childbirth experience is one major thing that cannot be taken away from the single mother. A single lady has no such experience. I will marry a single mother so far she posseses the specs and quality I want in a woman.

generationz:
All I see is a thread encouraging young ladies to commit abortion.

Shebi na the one we your eye see una fit talk. Can the eyes see multiple abortions? No.

Truly, many guys here will end up with women like that.


The stigmatization against single mothers in Nigeria ehn...

May God bless every single mother hustling to take care of her kid(s) by herself in this harsh economy.

True. But don't you think that an Oshodi guy who is skilled at chatting with girls will not get snubbed like an Ikoyi guy who has a poor approach at talking to girls?

kunkelhanspeter:
Lady will pay more attention to a guy living there than a guy living in oshadi bro

I can understand your point. You seem to be taking an abundance mentality approach which equally works effectively.

Randy100:
Lol. Sometimes, the method is not the problem and since there are many fishes in the water be rest assured that the net will always catch one for you. You can try it. Add five girls and ask the five of them their numbers, 3 will say no and two will give you their number and you can delete the other 3.

You appear not have proper understanding of the subject matter here.

kiddoiLL:
Oga what bullshît should any guy be trying to bypass?
As far as this country is concerned, bypassing any babe has to do not with finance, and that's only advisable if you just want to smash and run.
You can fake your life, do anything to bypass... but stop saying Being yourself doesn't take people far..
In all ramifications of life, the best advice you'll get is “Be yourself, be original ” ... Now being yourself might not get a hundred girls swooning all around you, but why are you not telling guys that being themselves will get them the woman they need, the woman who'll warm up to them without high expectations....
Na wah for you type of counseling oo

Truly ikoyi is a high browl area but does this mean that all guys that live in Ikoyi are rich? There are poor guys in Ikoyi just as there are in Oshodi.

kunkelhanspeter:
Can you compare it to oshadi?

Don't you think that your net will not catch another fish when you don't change the same method that made you missed the last fish?

Randy100:
I gain by creating space for my net to catch other fish.

Sorry for this bruh.
However, go back and modify the last paragraph of your post. That's a sort of poor generalization. There are still sane single mothers out there. Let's learn how not to dent general images just because of an isolated case

streetsoldier1:
I tried all I could to save face , just have to end it all after discovering that the single mother I married still contact her ex regularly...
Despite forgiving her several errors even while we got engaged, she still have the guts under my roof to mess up.
Warning guys, never ever marry a single mother that has been messed up!!!
6years was messed up!!!

Who does growing of threads help? Me or Nairaland owners? Just say you have nothing much substantial to say. Anyway thank you.

luminouz:
Sorry bro.
I'm not growing your thread farther than I have already.
Have a nice day.

If she must be fleshy from waist area down, then I guess that description fits ROUND FIGURED

But, you see bruh, the size of a lady is not determined by her shape. A lady can be plus size and yet has hourglass shape or round figured. She can also be tall or slim and yet be shapely on the shoulders. Size and shape are two different things when it comes to ladies.

flokii:
Moderate tall, slim or not too chubby figure and must fill the right places from the waist area down.. as in fleshy

I can't come and kill myself

This your answer is not yet satisfactory bruh. Let me rephrase the question : If all of the shapes were sapio sexual like you said you would want, which one would you choose?

donbachi:
anyone..all I want is a woman with brain,respectful and clean(head2toe).

OK. Can Share your experience with your 'Just Be Yourself (JBY) model. We can all learn from you.

luminouz:
Lmaoooo...
It has worked for me so far bro.

So What's the big deal about ikoyi?

kunkelhanspeter:
Which lady that will not chat with a guy who live in Ikoyi?

If she is the one who first dashes you a non-rewarding response, what do you think you gain by deleting her?

Randy100:
The first thing I do is to ask for her number and if she says no, i sharpely delete her.

Being yourself is being in default mode or what is called 'factory setting' and it is the worst advice anyone can ever give you. When it comes to meeting girls, being yourself does not take you far. You will have to learn skills required to bypass her insecurities and have smooth conversations with her

luminouz:
Nothing to learn here..

Key is to be yourself!! She likes that? ok... She hates it? Fine...life goes on

I don't think that applies to all girls. Some girls still have their integrity and values intact

psalmsmiles:
girls are smart. Their response rate depends on your dp. If you`re cute and u snap inside nice ride, they`ll respond even if you say you want knack them mama. Na ugly guys dey hear am 4 their hand

As far as I am concerned, some seclusive ladies can be dragged out of their cocoons when they are chatted up in a manner that appeals to their points of interest

kiddoiLL:
Leeeeemaooooo.... Your relaxed Guy's inbox shhiii doesn't work on all girls..
look everything depends on their nature, some are naturally open minded, while some are naturally seclusive.
The Open minded ones are normally free with everyone because they see stuffs in different ways, the open minded ones, don't necessarily see you sliding in their DM as looking for pucci or date, some see it that way but they're free enough to let you express yourself and see how you fare while doing that....
Well the seclusive ones? Regardless, straightforward questions or calm questions, those ones are witches

I know many guys that have money but are very poor when it comes to getting correct girls, not all these oloshos and hoes that are littered every where on the street. When you have money, it reaches a point you get tired of runs girls and need some serious ladies

Shibaraba:
In 2020...you should be asking how to sustain chat with cash. Girls are minor.

Send a picture of you in any car
The conversation go flow
Send another with wads of cash
Her:"whats your house address"

It could be on apps such as Telegram, inmessage, mitchat, etc where you don't have access to her number but only her username

Tboy1419:
. Which one is Can I have your number, which number is she using to chart with you before

Guys,this is actually a response I gave in another thread but I think it is worth creating a new thread for.

Many guys have bitterly complained of girls snubbing their chats on phone/social media or replying with mono-lexicons such as 'k', no, nothing, aiit, duh, hmm, thumbs up emojis, or no response at all. Chatting on phone or social media with a girl you have not met before is a simple art that can be learnt. When you do not master this art well, all you get are parrot mode responses.

She is a new girl on your friendlist and you find her attractive, so you decided to dm. This is normal. But the problem starts when you start chatting and you discover she is only corresponding with mono-lexicons. this pisses you off and you conclude that all girls are proud and prove too tough to get. However, there are other guys out there who meet pretty girls (Not Oloshos) on social media, start a chat with them and end up being their boyfriends. Some even get marry to them in the long run and have a blissful marriage. This is no magic. Such guys only do a simple thing like having the right skills to engage a girl in a conversation.

The major skill you need to start and sustain a conversion with a lady is not by knowing WHAT TO SAY but knowing HOW TO SAY IT. How you say something to her shows your mood and your motive. When a lady discovers your mood and motives, she decides if to roll with you or not. How you converse with her should not show you are desperate, creepy and clingy. When you chat in a desperate, unrelaxed manner, you send the girl into a panic and tensile mode. This limits her response to a parrot reply like: k, no, nothing, aiit etc. Some guys could be so creepy and clingy. For example, you don't just start chatting with a girl for the first time and the next thing is to start asking for her number, pictures and social media details. The only crop of girls who drop their number at such first clingy request are oloshos or 'inmessage' girls.

NOTE: When you engage a new girl in a chat, her number should be the last thing on your mind to get. Before you request for her number, get to know her well, her location and what her interests are.

Your conversation with a girl should not be premised only on direct clingy questions like: What is your name? Can I know you more? Can I have your number? Can we go out together. Where are you going tomorrow? Will you be less busy this evening? Can we hang out today? etc All these and similar questions are desperate and would not make her feel relaxed. Hundreds of guys are in her dm asking her the same thing and she is tired and bored of them. The moment you come up with similar mode of questions, she banishes you into the same zone with those desperate guys. That is a zone she has created for guys stalking and disturbing her. She will never give a rewarding response to such guys except something else happens.

While chatting, responses girls give can be categorized into three: Rewarding Response, Non-rewarding Response and Neutral Response. The number of rewarding responses you are able to get sometimes determine if you will ever get to meet her and date her eventually.

To get more rewarding responses from her, your conversation should reflect you are relaxed, fun to be with and unique. Make your conversation precise and interesting enough for her to sustain. If you are to ask questions, make it open ended rather than close ended. Open ended questions fans her egos and propel her to answer you. But close ended questions tie her down to a corner and generate tension. Example of Open ended question: You look great. Where are you chatting from?, Note you have cooled her ego first by saying she[b] looks great[/b] before asking for her location, therefore she is naturally propelled to answer you with a rewarding response.
Example of close ended question: [b]Do you live in Lagos? [/b]This makes her become tensile and generate suspicions like: Who is he and why does he want to know where I live? Does he want to come hurt me? etc Her response may either be rewarding or non-rewarding, depending on how her mood dictates.

To keep the conversation lively, never ask close ended questions. Equally, structure your conversation in such a way to get her talking about herself without even knowing she is doing that already. The more a girl talks with you about herself, the more she gets interested in the conversation and the more she becomes attracted to you.

Look at the templates below and decide which one is most suitable:

FROM A DESPERATE GUY'S INBOX
Me: Hello sweet bae
Her: Hi
Me: Can I meet you?
Her: (typing....stops typing)
Me: (After several seconds...) Hii, are you there?
Her: Yes.
Me: Ok.
Her: kk
Me: Can you tell me about you?
Her: No
Me: Ok. Can I have your number, please?
Her: No
Me: Why?
Her: Nothing
Me: (Angry) Why are you here then if you are not ready to meet people online?
Her: (typing....stops typing... goes offline)

(From this conversation, the lady is pissed off by the guy's desperation and may never respond to his chat for a long time)

FROM A RELAXED GUY'S INBOX
Me: Good evening
Her: Good evening
Me: Thanks
Her: k
Me: Good to meet you.
Her: Same
Me: You look great. Are you chatting from Ikoyi here?
Her: Yes.
Me: Oh cool.
Her: What about you?
Me: I live and work at Victorial Island
Her: Okay
Me: You can call me Akin by name. What about you?
Her: My name is Linda.
Me: Oh wow. I hope you mean Linda Ikeji? Smiles...
Her: Smiles...
Me: I saw you smile at that. I hope you are a big fan of her blog?
Her: Yes. I have been following her blog since 2014.
Me: Wow. You must be full of gossips like she is...
Her: Not really. I just like reading and browsing the internet generally...

(The lady is already talking about herself and her interests. If this conversation continues in that mood, she will be willing to give the guy her number at request and if the guy decides to meet her in person she will certainly drop a rewarding response)

I hope this helps some guys out.

Thanks bruh. You said you were not really financially comfortable. I will like to ask, were you more financially comfortable than her or she was more financially ok than you?
Does she have your physical specs and were you two attracted to each other sexually?

Why I ask these is because my recent findings reveal that couple who are not financially and sexually compatible more than often have challenges in their marriage. Financial incompatibility exists when one of the party in the marriage earns more than the other and use that as emotion blackmailing of the other party. When it comes to finances, couple should see each other as equal party no matter who earns what.
Sexual incompatibility is absolutely when couple do not find each other sexually attractive after the marriage.

oodua1stson:
long story, bro. The most important thing is that I'm better now than when I was married.



But if you need advice I'd say this; enjoy your youth like I did and be very comfortable b4 marriage( I wasn't really comfortable financially when I got married).

Believe me bruh, chatting up girls and getting desired responses is an art. When you chat in a desperate, unrelaxed manner, you send the girl into a panic and tensile mode. This limits her response to a parrot reply like: k, no, nothing, aiit etc. Some guys could be so creepy and clingy. For example, you don't just start chatting with a girl for the first time and the next thing is to start asking for her number, pictures and social media details. The only crop of girls who drop their number at such first clingy request are oloshos or 'in' girls.

Your conversation with a girl should not be premised only on direct clingy questions like: What is your name? Can I know you more? Can I have your number? Can we go out together. Where are you going tomorrow? Will you be less busy this evening? Can we hang out today? etc All these and similar questions are desperate and would not make her feel relaxed. Hundreds of guys are in her dm asking her the same thing and she is tired and bored of them. The moment you come up with similar mode of questions, she banishes you into the same zone with those desperate guys.

While chatting, responses girls give can be categorized into three: Rewarding Response, Non-rewarding Response and Neutral Response. The number of rewarding responses you are able to get sometimes determine if you will ever get to meet her and date her eventually.

To get more rewarding responses from her, your conversation should reflect you are relaxed, fun to be with and unique. Make your conversation precise and interesting enough for her to sustain. If you are to ask questions, make it open ended rather than close ended. Open ended questions fans her egos and propel her to answer you. But close ended questions tie her down to a corner and generate tension. Example of Open ended question: You look great. Where are you chatting from?, Note you have cooled her ego first by saying she looks great before asking for her location, therefore she is naturally propel to answer you with a rewarding response.
Example of close ended question: Do you live in Lagos? This makes her become tensile and generate suspicions like: Who is he and why does he want to know where I live? Does he want to come hurt me? etc Her response may either be rewarding or non-rewarding, depending on how her mood dictates.

To keep the conversation lively, never ask close ended questions. Equally, structure your conversation in such a way to get her talking about herself without even knowing she is doing that already. The more a girl talks with you about herself, the more she gets interested in the conversation and the more she becomes attracted to you.

Look at the templates below and decide which one is most suitable:

FROM A DESPERATE GUY'S INBOX
Me: Hello sweet bae
Her: Hi
Me: Can I meet you?
Her: (typing....stops typing)
Me: (After several seconds...) Hii, are you there?
Her: Yes.
Me: Ok.
Her: kk
Me: Can you tell me about you?
Her: No
Me: Ok. Can I have your number, please?
Her: No
Me: Why?
Her: Nothing
Me: (Angry) Why are you here then if you are not ready to meet people online?
Her: (typing....stops typing... goes offline)

(From this conversation, the lady is pissed off by the guy's desperation and may never respond to his chat for a long time)

FROM A RELAXED GUY'S INBOX
Me: Good evening
Her: Good evening
Me: Thanks
Her: k
Me: Good to meet you.
Her: Same
Me: You look great. Are you chatting from Ikoyi here?
Her: Yes.
Me: Oh cool.
Her: What about you?
Me: I live and work at Victorial Island
Her: Okay
Me: You can call me Akin by name. What about you?
Her: My name is Linda.
Me: Oh wow. I hope you mean Linda Ikeji? Smiles...
Her: Smiles...
Me: I saw you smile at that. I hope you are a big fan of her blog?
Her: Yes. I have been following her blog since 2014.
Me: Wow. You must be full of gossips like she is...
Her: Not really. I just like reading and browsing the internet generally...

(The lady is already talking about herself and her interests. If this conversation continues in that mood, she will be willing to give the guy her number at request and if the guy decides to meet her in person she will certainly drop a rewarding response)

Funkyswagzz:
There's nothing to master bro some girls play way too tough it become a stalemate. When u take to some places u will see how insecure they can be