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Chiquitq's Posts

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Family / Re: What Signs Are Too Little, Too Big To Ignore In A Relationship. by Chiquitq(f): 11:59pm On Feb 07
Just forget her. These signs are red flags and should not be ignored

1 Like

Family / Re: I Am Tired Of This Marriage.. I Want Out.. by Chiquitq(f): 11:38pm On Feb 07
You have been targeted and manipulated. You ought to abandon her and only send upkeep for your kids but then, it sounds easy theoretically but practically, this woman knows your weaknesses too well and that irresponsible opportunistic father of hers would make your life a living hell with his character.

I know what exactly can work for you but I also know that you won’t be able to stick with the plan. All the best bro. We live with our mistakes. Some can be corrected and some keep haunting us.
Family / Re: Why Ladies Hardly Change Their Surnames After Marriage These Days by Chiquitq(f): 1:44pm On Feb 07
I like that it is difficult. Many women are bearing names that they do not have any business bearing.

My estranged husband moved in with a married woman whose husband left her. The woman changed her name to my estranged husband’s surname. She is not divorced and neither is the demon. With the look of things, she would not be able to change her name officially. She must stick to her husband’s name on her documents or revert to her father’s name.

Pardon me for being petty but it is what it is. Imagine taking a man’s name because you feed him, house him and donate to his dysfunctional nuclear family.
Family / Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Chiquitq(f): 7:38pm On Jan 14
Your choices in your past are very questionable
1. You got entangled with a woman who is capable of pinning another man's son in her husband.
2. You got entangled with a woman who is willing to leave her husband because he lost his job.
3. You got entangled with a woman who was sleeping with at leasr two men at once and still, you did not use protection?
4.You still don't realise that she only confessed because you're doing better than her husband.

1 Like

Romance / Re: Do Cheats Ever Change? Should They Be Given Another Chance? by Chiquitq(f): 12:53pm On Jan 13
I haven't read your post but I read the title.

Here is what I know for a fact...

Cheaters do not change. It is a mindset and it takes great conviction to stop.

If you have a bear death experience, you feel so grateful to be saved and think in that moment that you would worship God forever and never sin again but it is hormonal. After a while, despite coming face to face with death, you would still son and forget how you were saved maybe with just a little more conscience pricking than before.

What am I saying in essence? A cheater would only stop of they wanted to. If they encountered an evil spirit or scammer or ghost while cheating, they would be shocked but would soon get over it. It's like a bad habit.

I speak from a sociological stand point.

3 Likes

Business / Re: My Brother's Salesgirl Is Stealing from Him, Should I Tell Him? by Chiquitq(f): 12:23pm On Jan 13
How can you think of forgiving a third or covering up for her?

Why would you use single motherhood as an excuse? Is it not because of her wickedness and selfishness that she might have found herself I such a situation?

A single mother should learn from her mistakes and chose to do better by making the right decisions going forward.

You must report her and she must be fired without pay. She must learn the habits of people who have their lives in order despite the chaos.
Family / Re: I Almost Had A Fight With My Mom by Chiquitq(f): 11:41am On Jan 13
Your write up reminds me of my mother in law. She was so petty and troublesome. Curses and wishes every successful person evil.

I blame your father in all this. He has not handled the matter well at all. She won't change but figure out how to manipulate her into conformity.
Family / Re: Should Men Be Given Some Priority When Seeking Jobs? by Chiquitq(f): 4:55pm On Jan 10
I've thought about this before and know where it is coming from.

I'm a country where jobs are so scarce, it won't be a totally bad idea.

The problem here is that, not all men are ready to be responsible adults.

So many women work hard these days and in many cases, end up marrying men that are not doing nearly as well.

There are men who are responsible and ready to work but the jobs have been taken up by women, so to speak...

At the end of the day, equal opportunities is the way to go.
Family / Re: How Do I Inform My Mother About My Relationship? by Chiquitq(f): 4:47pm On Jan 10
If the Muslim is saying you while you live with your baby daddy, I won't trust him one but.

Why did you have a child out of wedlock in the first place? I'm not judging you but I want you to reflect on how you make your decisions. You won't feel happy if you have two kids from two men and neither is doing right by you.

In reality, religion is not a huge barrier when you are not in Africa but this man might be playing down his dedication to his religion until he has you.

Parents know better and their love is almost always genuine. If your happiness is paramount, your mother won't stand in your way but be sure if your choice first. Your mom may throw a tantrum but may come around later.

You would see clearly only after you have broken up with your baby daddy that you once lived with your soul.
Family / Re: Can You Marry A Woman Who Is Cold To In-laws by Chiquitq(f): 4:35pm On Jan 10
The behaviour of your babe is a big red flag. It is one thing to have fears and another to reject compromise outeightlu as she did by sleeping on the floor. That is a very manipulative act.

It is true that many mother's are the best to their children but don't act right with their daughter in laws.

She might have been exposed to circumstances that make her weary of being close with her in-laws but she can not write them off especially when her own partner doesn't plan to.

If she knows that she has a bad temper, she should work on herself instead of avoiding people.

You also need to know that because you are close to your family doesn't mean that they would be accepting of your babe after you marry her.

My greatest worry here is the attitude of your babe and not really the reservations that she put forward. One's attitude to life's issues is what would determine the bigger picture.
Family / Re: No Period Yet Not Pregnant by Chiquitq(f): 11:28am On Jan 09
Did you go with her for the tests and if it is the do it yourself out, did you supervise it?
Family / Re: Wife Moved Out Of Home by Chiquitq(f): 11:19am On Jan 09
You must have done very bad things to her

Don't bother about if it is a taboo or not.
Family / Re: I Need Advice Pls by Chiquitq(f): 11:08am On Jan 09
What do you stand to gain by telling him ?

Sentiments apart, why has your father neglected you? If there is no good reason then it is better to let him be.

The bible teaches us to forgive but if you are not a strong believer and practitioner there is no need for you to ridicule yourself with a man that doesn't care about your existence.
Family / Re: Please Help by Chiquitq(f): 10:49am On Jan 09
How did you plan to pay back? You say because of covid?
Family / Re: I'm penniless less despite having this skills by Chiquitq(f): 10:47am On Jan 09
Share your problem otherwise you would not find the sleep
Family / Re: Friction: My Fiancé Wants Me To Get Pregnant Before We Get Married. by Chiquitq(f): 10:46am On Jan 09
I did not click the link because it is double work however I know for a fact that it is a form of manipulation.

A woman with self worth would never tolerate such. Period
Romance / Re: Is It Possible To Rape One's Wife? by Chiquitq(f): 9:53pm On Dec 27, 2020
It doesn't make sense to me if the word "rape" is used btw legally married people living together as a normal couple.

It is such that one partner may not be in the mood and the other insists physically and both and up enjoying it.

I even think one can sue a partner or file for divorce on the grounds of refusal to engage in intercourse.

I think battery is so much different from forcing a lawfully wedded partner to have sex with you. Even if there is a video to prove that you asked the other to stop...except the person was very I'll when it happened or was beaten or tied up to engage in it...

Let lawyers speak. That's just my own understanding of it.
Family / Re: Christmas Without Money? by Chiquitq(f): 8:42pm On Dec 27, 2020
I might be wrong but I think it is one's character that would determine how to get he would be on Christmas day. Even if one is broke, there should be a friend or neighbour that would offer even a drink. I have cooked food to all my neighbours for instance...
Family / Re: My Marriage Is Having Some Cracks, Need Your Opinion by Chiquitq(f): 7:53pm On Dec 27, 2020
Along the line, you should have supervised part of it. And insist on how the outcome would be. For instance, let the caterer offer a plate of the good showing exactly how it would be served. You insist that if it is not so, you would be annoyed e.t.c....

I understand how you can be bitter and fun it hard to move on but you have to. It is necessary for closure to let your wife know that you are disappointed. She might think you at ungrateful but also, she can chose to involve you more next time or be ready for more critism or try to do better.
Family / Re: Just Vex Out Your Legal Problems & We Will Advice You For Free. by Chiquitq(f): 7:46pm On Dec 27, 2020
How can i legally force a debtor to pay back ?
Family / Re: Why Do People Love To Take Advantage Of Someone In Need ? by Chiquitq(f): 7:32pm On Dec 27, 2020
Selfishness is the nature of the beast.

When we are in need, let us agree not to be taken advantage of and if we must succumb due to the circumstances, let us look into God.

I've been taken advantage of many times (not sexually) but I realised that it only happened when I depended on others. We must understand that we are responsible for our own happiness and everyone is entitled to request an exchange for a favour but it is oneself who can accept or reject it.
Family / Re: What Are You Grateful For In 2020 by Chiquitq(f): 7:27pm On Dec 27, 2020
Grateful for not losing my job this year and not getting a reduction in salary despite the pandemic.

2 Likes

Family / Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Chiquitq(f): 7:22pm On Dec 27, 2020
It is not your business to pay her shop rent. A business is a business and rent is part of the overhead costs. If she is not making enough profit to pay her rent then she should close the business.

If you use the money you have been paying for other projects, you would see your investment and use it as you please.

A man who provides for a woman totally is not helping her at all and it hardly turns out well. A woman who also expects her husband to provide everything is also not preparing herself for the day the man might leave or lose his job.

You can support her rent only if she is supportive and productive and maybe experienced a huge loss that requires a loan to cushion otherwise it is unreasonable to be imposed on you.

11 Likes

Family / Re: Asoebi: Its Role In Weddings Or Just A Money Making Machine by Chiquitq(f): 7:16pm On Dec 20, 2020
When i got married, it was for the colour that i did aso-ebi. So that my friends would stand out. Thwn, the number of friends that you had was noted on your wedding day to assess your social status.

I had also paid for aso-ebi for my friends wedding so when it was my turn why would I not share my own? But then, it wasn't about making money at all. It was for the colour.

Let me mention that my husband attempted to share ofi for caps but he was unable to sell a single one unlike me that could not meet demand. Looking back now, i know it was a sign that he was an evil person. How would a person not have a single colleague or friend or neighbour that would pay for the cap of their friend's wedding ? That's story for another day, though.
Family / Re: Sponsoring A Lady or Man To A Western Country by Chiquitq(f): 6:53pm On Dec 20, 2020
Each circumstance is unique. It's not the wisest thing to do but as some have taken the risk and it turned out well, others took the risk and still regret it.

There is no hard and fast rule about this issue.
Family / Re: 5 Differences Between Laundry Cleaning And Dry Cleaning (updated) by Chiquitq(f): 1:48pm On Dec 20, 2020
Thanks for the write up.

Are you saying that dry cleaning does not involve water at all?

I've always heard this but I don't believe my suits would be so clean without ever having water touch them at the dry cleaners.
Family / Re: My Son Wants Diapers For His Bedwetting And He Is 12 Should I Let Him? by Chiquitq(f): 1:22pm On Dec 20, 2020
Is he in boarding school?

If he wears diapers, the friends would find out the same way that they found out that ha bedwets. It may not improve his confidence but it has other advantages. The room would stop drinking and he won't have to airdry his matress.

When my daughter was 4yrs, I wore diapers for her when visiting a relative. They thought it was strange but I explained that it was better than wetting their beds. They didn't accept my reason as rational.

All the best.
Family / Re: Everyone Is Talking About You by Chiquitq(f): 1:13pm On Dec 20, 2020
No pictures ?
Family / Re: Should A Lady Share In The Financial Implications Of Her Wedding? by Chiquitq(f): 12:39pm On Dec 20, 2020
What is meant by wedding ceremony here ?

Traditionally, the husband is meant to bring things to the wife's family requested from a list that would have been given to him by the bride's family. A man is free to receive support from his friends or family for such purpose but I don't subscribe to the wife contributing to this.

If you are talking about the reception for a societal wedding then both families should be involved according to the guests they invite. A couple is also supposed to work hand in hand financially for their own contribution to the wedding.

Any man that solely spends on his wedding no matter how rich I is , has been played and manipulated into doing such. A woman would have no financial contribution to get own wedding and feel comfortable with it ? The hall, the MC, the DO, the food, the souvenirs, the clothing, the decorators, invitations and programmes...e.t.c. all paid for by the man ? He must be under a spell and the marriage is not based on love.

3 Likes

Family / Re: No Body In Our Family Love Me, Especially My Dad by Chiquitq(f): 12:23pm On Dec 20, 2020
Your parents may also be going through rough times and not be fully conscious that they are taking their frustrations out on you.

Speak to your mother about the way you feel. If she doesn't change , then we would take it from there.

Make sure as possible to focus on your academics so that all your mental lows can be behind you in the near future.

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