₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
I don't think I am intelligent; I know I am.

I am very very self aware of myself so I know myself.

You would agree with me it takes a lot of intelligence and self-awareness to go past whatever you have been spoon fed on all fronts (religious, educational, life) and merge your own person.

It is very easy to read something online and jump on the wagon whether it applies to you or not. It is also easy to talk about problems on the surface without digging deep to do an analysis of the root cause. 'Why is this thing the way it is?' 'If we change Y, could be result be different?' 'Is Z happening because X was not taken care of?' 'Can X work in Nigeria? If no, what is a fairer alternative?' 'Am I getting Z results because I support Y even though I close my eyes to W?'

For instance, I find quota system very harmful to feminism. The moment you think women need to be given a quota to represent in a position by merit, you have automatically said 'they are lesser than men so can't compete.'

And it doesn't even help them.

A classic example is Northern Nigeria. The cut off mark is less than 10 for boys in some Northern state while some southern states which is same for male & female is 100+.

Are Northerners more educated today?

Nope.

Is this long story for me?

I don't have time to read this shiii mehn

Goodbye

Elder00001:
Women like her are one of the reasons why patriarchy is still well grounded in most societies.

Very true but she doesnt know that.

I get that she has a need to make the world a better place, underneath all the funny threads her intention is to be objective and realistic and to help people but the messages in her threads are a bit misogynistic and controversial
And even deliberately attention seeking sometimes
In any case it doesn't warrant ganging up on her sha, everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how shocking it seems, I saw someone saying buka should not have daughters up there, Haba that is taking it too far nau.

ibkayee:
No that's not it. If you actually read the OP let's be honest with ourselves
It’s a writeup that basically asserts that marriage is somehow inherently a better purpose than work, but done in a way that attempts to be lowkey by way of just alluding to things. Perhaps if she had just stated her preference rather than ‘telling’ people what the standard is along with the usual thinly veiled patronizing tone and smugness, people wouldn’t have been as turned off.

Her vibe is very 'white woman tears'(the stereotype) adjacent to me

You summarized it perfectly
Everyone can see through the thinly vieled message
Everyone
Them no born us yesterday

Elder00001:
With the kinda things op posts on this section one might think she’s above 70 but I’m damn sure she’s in her mid thirties or late thirties at most. She’s too unexposed and archaic.

Even the old traditional folks around me aren’t this archaic. Pukes.

And she thinks she is very intelligent ooo

As usual Nigerians will complain on social media and then keep quiet again

What else is new

Mtsheww

Nairaland men are just big fat gigantic hypocrites.

If a man started a thread and said he saw his girlfriend saying she is with him because he is rich they will run into the thread like flies gathering shit to insult all women and advice him to leave the gold digger.

Now it's a man saying he is with a woman for money they have started remembering all sorts of justifications for his gold digging statement

Confusedgirlie, no need for you to be confused
The man will use the hell out of you if you marry him. You will be primary breadwinner and primary house cleaner, nanny, housemaid etc, he can assist you once in a while but he will always consider it your duty to do housework while at the same time you are bringing the largest share of upkeep money and being under his leadership/submitting to him.

Obingene:
You see, life is not that difficult.

I'm glad I brought laughter and smiles to your face, I should send the bill but, this is my contribution to humanity.

Lol

Obingene:
May it be ur portion, may love be far from your household, may it be filled with strife and anger.

Mr man I am not responsible for your frustration in life, look at the animal throwing curses when I did not even address him.

Fool

And everything you write to me will return to you and your household, your family your children

Foolish he goat

Prymestrr:
Myself Better to save and plan for my old age than depend on another human being who will use me as target practice for their weird fetish
Besides, my son would have been a made man in my old age

Its better you work extra hard towards making sure your son ends up as a rich man, because if not......hmmm
And pray hard that he outlives you

OP, tunmi
When you had no job and she was providing were you assisting her with chores and childcare at least to make things easier for her and reduce stress or were you being bossy and expecting 24/7 complete submission from her?

Answer honestly.

I don't even trust marital stories on nairaland because the party telling the story will ALWAYS hide their own faults and magnify the wrongdoings of their partners

Prymestrr:
Call me a sissy if you wish but I've a strong prejudice for marriage and hope to avoid it throughout my life Godwilling.
My focus in life now is my self development and being a good father to my greatest achievement in life; my son. With him I am content. No more kids and definitely no wife if I can help it

Who will take care of you in your old age

tonididdy:
Ehen
... and you are bold to say this?

Yes, very bold

PeacenLove2:
Most if not all submissive wives get bullied by their significant other. It's against human nature to expose so much vulnerability and expect not to be taken advantage of. It's just the other side of humanity. Talk about the saying about absolute power, it corrupts absolutely. Women, be loving and supportive but always draw the line and stand your ground. There is no two ways about it.

Thank you, this is basic human psychology but men pretend they don't know all this because they want to control women completely

tonididdy:
This is a man trying to still save his name in the house as the "man of the house" regardless he is without job for now.
The moment a man allows a lady tale care of the home for a certain period, the woman turns a journalist on how she is now the one providing this and that but when the man does this, two ear not go hear.
If you like make 10m a month salary, you must know your place in the home. Total submissivness otherwise you ladies can take it the extra mile.
Like the first comment on page 1 said, we like to hear your husbands part, possibly you Don turn the man to houseboy and still want a voice in the house.

A woman cannot be contributing as breadwinner and also show total submission

It's not possible.

Kobojunkie:
Honestly, maybe educating the Nigerian men, one mind at a time, is something we ought all to start trying. That women are still subhumans in the most populous African nation in the year 2020 is a thing of shame. We need to tackle this issue of slavery once and for all.

Okay but romance section guys are mostly irredeemably dense trolls so you might end up wasting your time here.

just look at kobojunky wasting her time trying to interact intelligently with trolls.
These small boys only write these insultive topics to get females to react and give them the female attention they desperately lack in real life. I wish all female nairalanders would realise this and learn to ignore topics and posters like the ones in this thread.

Many boys on romance section cannot even talk to girls in real life, nairaland is the only place they can talk to females.

Foolish societal rejects

Sepsis:
You know, the comments from some women on this thread made me feel it’s bad to help out at home. I was shocked and didn’t really want to address it because everyone has their preference as to how they want their family to turn out and that is okay. But I’ve been taken aback by some of the comments suggesting that helping out at home by cooking and running errands for the house makes a woman (who is already doing so much taking care of a little one) lazy.



My wife makes more money than I do (she runs a company outside Nigeria); has more assets than I do and she has a wealthy background. Her money is her money. She contributes occasionally financially and contrary to what a lot of people believe, she’s very hardworking.

I help out because it’s my family and there’s nobody else that would do these things for us. There is so many conjectures that has been thrown around on this thread that has nothing to do with the reason the thread began with and it’s sad to see people assume the worst for others by default. It’s really sad.

I don't understand some women, talking about "she does not know her responsibilities" as if it is a crime to assist a spouse with their traditional roles. This misogyny women complain of is also very actively encouraged by the same women.

You are an understanding and hardworking man, I hope your marital issues get resolved soon.

frozen70:
You got everything wrong

Go and read the post again

I am a female not a male

I didn't read anything wrong

It would be very unfortunate if a female is actually the one advising a man to stop helping his wife at home.

frozen70:
Pregnancy and after child birth makes a woman to be fat especially when she throws caution to the wind

As she is still breast feeding, she will have to eat enough so that she can lactate very well

Since she knows your type of woman, she has to work towards it because she will still add more weight for every child birth

Get a weight measuring scale for her

Seat her down and let her know that it's ment for her to do workout and reduce her weight so that she can fit into what shape you did want her to be and let her know how serious you are about it and she should start cutting down on her meals

Then the issue of seeing fat ladies as lazy people, you are already laying a foundation for her

She doesn't go to market, you cook most of the times.

Do what does she do, watching over her child ❓

You are praising her that she takes care of your child, it's her duty to do that so there is no special applause for that

You have made yourself virtually the house help at home, pls that is not love, you are creating more problems

Let her start doing those things while you look after the child

She will burn energy doing so

Don't come here and complain that she left everything for you and she is too lazy

Take caution now, let her do those things, more kids are coming

She is yet to know her duties at home

First of all you are not a female, remove that f beside your moniker

Secondly,
I wonder whether there is a special kind is selfish gene you men have inside yourselves. A man decides to assist his wife with chores at home and you are not happy about it, you are telling him to stop helping her and let her take over her responsibilities, what is wrong in his helping her while she exercises to lose weight? Must he withdraw his assistance and be one insensitive to her needs just because men like you feel housework must be handled by a woman and woman alone?

I just tire for una. Selfish insensitive lot.

If a woman decides to sit down, fold hands doing nothing and watch her husband work like Jacky to provide for the family, people like you will be the first to call her liability and demand that she should assist her husband in his job of providing

Fabuloski:
He has said the truth that you ladies don't want to talk about now.
You do know a lot of female folks are reading your post and I think you owe them the whole truth.

They don't get to choose who date them or marry them. Men do the wooing, and the number of rich girls is very low compared to the number of females available. This ratio is not going to get better, as a matter of fact it will worsen starting from this post covid-19 era.

See painment

Men hustle oo, Hustle so that you will not suffer sifia pains when women say they want only rich guys

emmaodet:
Lol
Like i said before, they can only date rich guys and not marry them. Marrying a lady is the exclusive right of a man unless the man is not financially buoyant, in such case they are the ones pestering ladies to marry them.
I approached my wife then girlfriend, she accepted but during the relationship, she stylishly told me are we not settling down soon and marry? Because her sister will soon marry her bf. You see, she had the power to yes to me for dating but i had the power of saying Yes, let us marry.
Point of correction, am not broke and your comments didn't get to me at all, Nah.
Also like i said, it is only a poor man with low self esteem that will be worried women are avoiding broke men.
Women avoiding broke guys is a Blessing in disguise because in their own little way they can quietly enjoy their little money without dramas or headache.

Whatever mehn, I can't read this your long novel, bye.

emmaodet:
Hahahahaha

ChiccolaTEeeeeeeeee

Christian

I will continue telling women to only marry rich/comfortable guys. No sensible human, male or female likes poverty, no woman in her right mind will open eyes and marry a poor broke guy, sorry if you are broke maybe that's why this issue is peppering you but remember that in your religion men are supposed to provide for women in exchange for women submitting to them.

That's why women look for guys that can do a good job providing for them.women dont attack you guys when you say you want to marry submissive and obedient women so dont get defensive when they say they like rich men.

jaksmillioniar:
go and find out dear a girl breast change if she start sex

Lwkmd, thanks for the sharing your scientific discovery sha

emmaodet:
Don't get me wrong, am not annoyed. Annoyed over what? I don't have that time. Just saying it the way it is.
I only pointed out a fact from you statement that - You can only date a rich guy if he approaches you(and that is hiw far you can control the relationship or the limit of your power) while the guy reserves the right to either sleep with you and dump you after agreeing to is offer or he decides to marry you (you don't have control on who marry you, rather who you date).
And that statement above is the fact, am not lying.
You said should they advise themselves to marry date rich guys? - the real question is why should a woman from a poor home date a rich guy? Whatever happens to her societal class?
About guys also looking for working class girls - of course, what do you think? For a working class guy to marry a jobless lady? Will a lady do that too?
Most guys expectations are feasible or realizable unlike ladies.
A lady who is staying at isheri-idimu will be dreaming and hoping to date a man at lekki or VGC all in the name of scamming him with Love and Submission (who needs that anyway) just to alleviate her from poverty.
A working class guy working and staying at isheri-idimu will be looking for a working class lady within the environment and class e.g Egbeda and that is feasible.
Over and out

Which religion are you
Christian, Muslim or juju worshiper

TheArchangel:
No kidding. Serious selfishness. One of the reasons why I don't cheat. I utilize the golden rules in all my dealings.
Chaii, I always check my blood pressure whenever the imagination of my husband being inside another woman comes up. Frolicking, touching and muttering sweet things to each other. Crime of passion is real
I can't even think it.

Majority of then are unfaithful anyway so it's better to go in with more head than heart when you enter a relationship with them.

Raalsalghul:
At the bold, valid points, but are the rich/comfortable guys enough to go round for women: at least for those interested in marriage.

If No, then what are their options?

Abeg leave my front.