₦airaland Forum

Lexusgs430:
Why you too buy 2 freezers of protein...... You see am for, buy 1, get 80 free..............

eBay. Meat Cleaver... Small axe and of course, butcher's big knife.

No cutlass - I doubt you will feel Nd it and If you do, do not buy it. Or people will think you are part of the Yardies

NIMC? This is a Nigerian organisation - I very much doubt that they operate in the UK...

If you do not have a NIN when in Nigeria then you have most likely missed your chance...

However, if you had tried to get a NIN and got a transaction slip or used a SIM card, it is not that hard to link the SIM and NIN.

You will be better asking more relevant questions to people living ordinarily in the UK - most folks are not students anymore. Try the student section or other relevant Forums (not just Nairaland) or more accurate and useful advice and info...

Alternatively, Internet searches is quite easy and useful for most things.

The Universities also have liaison officers that can help. All will also have international students committees and so on

National insurance number can be obtained from the government website. (.gov). It will take you some time and given you are a student, you may not be prioritised. Working should be less of a priority and answers can be easily obtained on the ground. Covid test - same thing; not relevant!

Grace321:
I don’t get

Let us say you use the free NHS test service to do a covid test as a 'fit for work' or study... If your employer is clued up and the type that is officious, he might reject it or ask you how you got the test... You will probably lie and say you had symptoms etc.

Having symptoms is something one might have to declare...

It just depends on why you want a covid test and whether you really need one!

Grace321:
Please can an international student do Covid test for free after arriving in the UK?

It depends on what you need the Covid test for? You can get free test on the NHS if you have symptoms, otherwise it might have to be at private expense.

However, if it is for travel (at this time - only essential travel reasons), then it should be private. Some get away with NHS covid test but it is a risk.

Lastly, if you obtain a test without symptoms, how can you then go and explain it to whoever wanted you to do the test?

It is called tough love! No one is being harsh! People are just being realistic and not sugar coating things...

I am sorry I don't understand the confusion at all. She was s leaving her kids one way or the kids other. It is best to have at get on with it.

Some of us were left by parents in those days when there was no mobile phone. We coped alright.

The cost is just mind boggling and the hassle as a mother and student?

The poster did not say why she wanted the children in the UK for just 2 months.

This section is about Living in the UK as a migrant... It should be realistic!

*You cannot go advising people without taking into consideration the pandemic... Assisted travelling at this time ke? That option is not easy and we do not know the ages of the kids.

However, I guess one the kids might be an infant... I sympathise!

If you can manage without the children for now, you will be better off getting to the UK as soon as possible before it gets too hard to come to the UK.

You should note that you might even have to stay in a forced hotel quarantine for 10 days at your expense. For the family, that is a lot of money!

Just for sale of two months jolly with the kids, you might be better off concentrating on being a student

However, if money is not an issue and you are able to book the flights without restrictions for the kids, then good luck. Normal times, it should be ok but Pandemic and coming from Nja adds a different dimension.

opomulero:
https://metro.co.uk/2021/01/27/people-arriving-from-30-high-risk-countries-to-face-hotel-quarantine-13970673/

Nigeria labelled high risk

How come? UK and their discrimination and money making schemes. They want chop our money despite knowing that we don't have the sort of exposure to covid that they have. And we are one of the first to introduce test on departure and arrival.

I just hope it does not come until next week or ever! But the move has been gathering pace especially from locals that cannot effectively go on holiday.

The cost has just gone up by 200 or 300%

Tripitaka:
This is one of the things I dislike about NL. Someone asks for advise on how to do something, and you're trying to deter them. You may think you know their story or what's best for them, but trust me, you don't.

It's important too that we ditch that erroneous belief that family is everything or the fallacious concept that blood is thicker than water. First, question you may want to ask is "What makes one family?" Is it just blood?. Is blood relationship enough to qualify one as family? I guess the men who rape their daughters, the women who throw away their newborns, siblings in incestuous relationships all qualify as family. The fact that you share DNA with people doesn't automatically make them an integral part of your life.

OP, to your question. Never normalize bad behavior or narcissistic behaviour. Ensure that you express your displeasure and let people know how their actions affect you (This is hoping you're not the problem, because entitled people can easily feel let down). Seek reconciliation where necessary and in the case of family members, you have to leave numerous doors open for such reconciliation. If nothing changes Afterwards, please get away from them.

Going forward, anyone who shares in my struggle, is genuinely excited for my wins, and wants the best for me is already family.

I had to quote all of this response. Kudos, I duff my wintery hat to you.

I also like the part where you mentioned that the OP might even be the problem with entitled and uncooperative attitudes.

No more to say really. People ditch their horrible family all the time and some people meet their ultimate demise at the hands of their family. It is easier to be destroyed from within.

Go for it! But leave a small window open in case they repent

Everyone situation is different... Some people travel all the time and go back to Nigeria... Those people get Visas easier...

Visiting (even if it comes under tourist visa) is very much different from someone that wants to go sight seeing without being sponsored.

Lastly, we are not cut the same way - some people are super rich, have strong ties with Nigeria and super connected...

Someone wants to apply for tourist visa in the midst of a pandemic where it is possible that the government might introduce compulsory private funded hotel quarantine - 10 days might cost over £1000... Please!

Even getting the Visa does not mean one can easily travel... UK government might be processing visa applications because we know it is all about the money...

The cost of visa is not cheap for someone to waste it just like that...

I like the comment above about the USA, that is sadly, the Trump effect. They are not playing games just for money like the UK - they are banning non essential travel, period!

loveymom:
Counter thread

Let me sit and read comments, this Toxicland is entertaining.

This is a bit of a nothing thread but you can still see the sexist, misogynist and backward arguments from both sexes.

Successful women no get joy for Nja o! I don't wish any of those sexists on my daughter

JovialJune:
Does the bolded include equally sharing of house chores, cooking, bathing, changing diapers for the kids, running little errands round the neighborhood and going to the market?

Have you heard about division of labour? Yes, it does include all those things in bold except for breastfeeding bthatv be joining her mentioned previously...

I don't expect proper middle class wife to be running errands like house girl. However, if things have to be done, either of them can do it; including errands.

Like I said, it all depends on who the man wants to marry and whether he wanted a partner or a domestic.

Are you saying cleaning, cooking, bathing and reading to young ones, feeding them and clothing them is exclusively a woman's job.

The clue is in middle class and sharing! It does es not have to be all equal or not specialised...

A man marries a busy business woman, scientist, lecturer, engineer, doctor, lawyer and so on and then expect her to behave like a village girl. Come on!

No need to quote all my post... I glad you got the advice you wanted.

From your previous reply, we are on the same track...

All these people including many many men that says the man is the head and has to pay all bills and much more are in a way sexist but they will dispute that.

What is wrong about 2 middle class people being married and sharing all responsibilities?

In this day and age, very few men can pay for everything and live at a high standard unless the person is already made and loaded and perhaps even older than the woman

With the mentality that men should foot all bills, it means men should always marry below themselves. Really?

If one's wife earns, let's say more than half of what the man earn; what is the woman to do with her money?

She keeps all her money while the man diminished his wealth; it will not be long before the woman is more wealthy than the man...

Given that the so-called minimum wage for civil servants in Nja is about #30,000 or less, many many men should date talkless of marrying if they have to pay for everything including in-laws...

Joke! Right??

helinues:
According to black man, it is the sole responsibility of the man while according to white man, it should be shared between the husband and wife

Ha ha ha

I am chilled - very... However, no one here has given you any advice...

I did say think about 4 to 6 months from now which will put you in the summer and with any luck, the vaccine might have reduced the impact of Covid...

It is because you wanted to do it on your own that makes it even less attractive and exposes all the red flags including coming as a tourist on a 6 months visa.

To start with, how can you expect them to believe you when you say you earn #250,000 and only spend #50,000 a month?

If this was a visit then you will not need a Hotel and your hotel budget is way off...

Don't waste your money until things settle...

Your sister will have applied many months back but I am talking about present times.

I shall still maintain that only someone that does not really care about losing VISA money that will apply next month.

A lot of people in the country want the border shut to only essential travel. The covid test was not even there 1 month ago and now you have a possible mandatory hotel quarantine being discussed.

British people cannot even book for holidays and these are people that do not really need VISAs

And you want to encourage someone with £900 budget to apply for a 6 months tourist visa for next month.

I told him to hang fire but I actually think he will be rejected anyways unless he has a good sponsor and good ties to Nja.

What tourism is there to do when the country is in various degrees of lockdown and the hospitality and travel industry are being thrown under the bus?

Get real!

I don't get it! Why do you want to apply to come the UK this February as a tourist and budget under £900?

Am I missing something? Or do people join at like to give VISA money to the UK government?

Travelling is being discouraged for indigenes as well as foreigners and you want to come to the country at this time...

By the time you get here, you will need to budget extra for compulsory quarantine which they will choose for you and you will have to pay and show evidence before boarding.

If you are not in the UK to make money or work then you must be very rich, have a mega serious and professional job or business that ties you firmly to Nigeria; and even that, there is no guarantee they will not chop your money on flimsy excuses.

Relax! Whatever your motives are - just forget coming to UK or any Western countries as a tourist; for the next 4-6 months

Leshurr:
7. Not taking care of your hygiene and letting yourself go.
This shows that you don't care about making sure she remains attracted to you .. this can be interpreted to mean you do not find her attractive enough to impress.

What if it is the other way round but the man is now expected to compliment packaging when the man can clearly see that the packaging is not working

Another thread about me making women feel this positive or negative as so on and so on...

What about get some self esteem and find their own happiness regardless of the man in their lives.

A woman who is self confident is already radiating her beauty even if the man does not find her beautiful.

Things change and we all have to cope but to downright lie when you know your partner has let herself go or putting up rubbish make or clothes and pile on the pounds because not lack of discipline in terms of portion management and exercise. Dream on!

Pieaa:
Please house, are people still allowed to travel to UK for vacation?. Planning on travelling next month.

Seriously? Wink wink!

My advice - dont bother! Nothing to see and you will not be granted a visa for tourism when most of the country wants the border shut...

You want to catch Corona?

FAKE! A wolf is sheep's clothing... She is successful but she is still a politician and we shall find out how power crazy she can be!

Fake smiled everywhere but she is ruthless and she is benefitting from being black because Burden could have chosen any other and the result will have been the same

Trump messed up seriously - all he had to do was pretend in his election year, deal with covid properly (and wear a damn mask - how hard is that). Also, he could have showed fake empathy with BLM - like most politicians do.

Lastly, he could have helped his party hold on to Georgia but he came up with stupid conspiracy, not accepting defeat graciously and then inspired an insurrection...

I do not care about Trump and I am happy he is gone but I liked the way he exposed democracy especially Presidential democracy for what it is - money talks and it is outdated and leaves too much power in one man.

Trump will have beaten Harris on a head to head because of misogyny and racism. She lost to foxy Biden anyway

Chii59:
The average Nigerian man wants to be seen and respected as the head of the family. And as such, the BULK of the financial load rests on his shoulders.
Tell them "gender equality" they get offended. Let them bear the bulk of the weight, afterall na head them be.

Be fair to the man! He does sound humble to me... He tried to cut his coat but lady Macbeth is pushing him. What do you mean, he wants to be respected as the head of the family? Not from what he has written...

He will happily share the burden with his wife but she is the one insisting on the husband being indebted to.

You came with preconceived notions and answer to the issue here...

So, a woman marries a broke poor man with the help of his family and there after expected him to behave financially as someone that is alright.

He made a mistake but I also blame his family and tradition/culture... In our country people are ready to lend you money for functions and events but no education or business or other progressive matters.

Your wife also now strongly believes that the marriage was a mistake - she probably did not think it through properly or expected things to go certain ways. Or perhaps like one of my sister-in-law, she thinks just because the family as a while is alright, they will take care of her and her broke family and her entitlements.

Sad! She has called your bluff on the divorce thing. She is ready to move on too... So, your move!

The wife is ok as per what was written and the low expectations of Nigerian women but I cannot abide by women thinking their money is just theirs and the man's hustle is for everyone including her family. Nonsense in 2021!

Of course, it will be nonsense for a non progressive. The answer for most of you is for him to increase his hustle as if you know he is not trying or the answer is to pray or accept that as a man he has to slave in a marriage...

That is why the rich always get richer and they marry other rich people. If a man wants to marry a broke woman and an entitled one too because of stupid tradition and religion, that is their problem.

Poverty exist and poor people still deserve love and understanding...

There are broke ass women and family abroad too... In the UK, there was a programme called Jeremy Kyle - there, you see how people (mostly poor) in UK are not so disimilarYou think social security payments cover everything? There are white folks visiting food banks, prostituting themselves and begging. Poverty is poverty but it is not a crime to be poor or to be a poor man.

It is never a good thing to single out any specific gender for the happiness or wellness if another individual or relationship.
So what are we turning the women into or referencing them as? Some sort of double headed dragon or demi-god that has to be worshipped.

Being a happy person in itself goes a long way. At the end of the you can never please everyone and sometimes you might think you are doing the right things only for the goal post to move

Stupid comment!

Odingo1:
This is Africa guy, a man is responsible for his home upkeep,marriage and running of home with kids involve money, so money is a major determinant factor in marriage.

Europe, Canada,US and other developed countries you are trying to copy run a social system that cater for families but in Africa you are on your own.

There is nothing like a broke woman in Africa. A man is responsible for marriage and a woman can assist if she have and willing to do so.

It is called being progressive and no a copy copy... Women can do just as we as men, so there are broke women and women that can truly be partners in every which way. I know the one I prefer!

Men do not have to shoulder all responsibility or up their hustle just to follow silly tradition and culture.

Whether I dey for Nja or abroad, I know what is appropriate in the 21st century.

The man should not have married because of his situation and also our culture... Did he marry the wrong person, yes, for himself. Did she also marry the wrong person - yes! Take him as you find him.

Increase his hustle is what we hear... Very early right? And while he is trying to increase his hustle, should the woman not be supportive and understanding instead of raising the stakes.

Emu4u2c:
I'm more interested in the stupid comfortable Environment the O.p is paying 100k for a 2 bedroom(Which he nor gree pay sef).

I don't see any fault with the wife or the marriage

All the faults dey come from the O.P.
I think O.P is one of these people that don't like being told the truth.

Poverty mindset done chop O.P finish

Comprehension seems to be a problem here. One person even said the OP is arrogant. He already accepted that he made a mistake getting married without money.

However, did he know that his wife to be will ask directly for a dowry that he could not afford just before the wedding.
A dowry is a token gesture and it mean nothing at all but silly old tradition of selling a daughter or old testament ***p.

He should get out of the marriage right now. As if it is easy to increase hustle in these day and age. Maybe he should start stealing?

There is no need to quote the whole post from OP to reply. It is like writing the question out in an exam before answering... It is just taking up bandwidth

Mrtaye:
What's the essence of marriage when you can't afford 50k for dowry

So marriage is simply about money? How about broke women not getting married too.

We have a few vocal females here that think the men gets it easy and there is too much misogyny on nairaland...

If I was to answer the question posed by the OP, the answer is YES, you married the wrong person. In the sense that she is not what you thought she was and she already three you a curved ball on the dowry and will not stop going on about it. Moreover, she is just like many of the entitled women we have in Nigeria...

This lady knows your situation but she decided to get married to you anyways. Why is it all the man's fault when it comes to finance and why is she making financial demands that you cannot fulfil. Basically, she is already stressing you at a young age and expecting you to borrow,natural or otherwise to provide for her elevated status.

What is this nonsense about owning a DOWRY in 2021? And why does she want it all in cash and all that...

If you do not have children, I will advice you to sit her down and trash this financial issues out. If she is not a builder but a digger then divorce her. Why say it 3 times? Are a Muslim?

Entitled women are a turn off - it will never stop!

* Yes, you married too early and should not have done so given your means but you already know that fact.

The stupid dowry that is collected by family and very often given back or given to the wife. She did well to cover you but she was already scheming by upping the amount and the pretending that she has collected the DOWRY. Everyone knows what the situation is, if a woman convinces her family that she has received her dowry.

Finally, we have another situation where your money is ours and mine is mine alone. Tell her to do one if there are no children involved in this marriage - she will also think twice if you are serious about it.

The OP did not mention football or sports, he did specifically say he does not get a chance to watch the News.
Having said the above, some women also partially watch football especially when it is National football - Nigeria playing in big tournaments.
Even my grandma - RIP did take minor interest, my mother used to like to watch wrestling - the old ones from the UK...
However, social media and multi-channel TV subs and general decline in education and the country going backwards has changed a lot of what our women and men too care about... Social media, the internet and mobile data is wasted on a lot of Nigerians...
I went to Nja and found out that the Nigerian women were playing at MKO, I could not find anyone to go and watch the match with me... Pity! Women not even interested in other women doing well but spend so much time on social media and watching crap on TV.