₦airaland Forum

Join someone to eat from the same plate - Ra Ra!

I am not I to food that much - yours is yours, I don't care how much you gave and how delicious your food is; I am not there for food.

But if you cook and or serve two plates, I might consider. Generally, it will still be a No from me. I just don't share food!

Lexusgs430:
Don't let Uzomarrr123 see you ó...... Remember, we are so broke, we cannot buy tickets to visit our people in Nigeria........

Yes, we are all washing plates, cleaning toilets or washing bottoms... We are all going to grow old and lonely with no children, friends or associates to relate to or look after us when we get old. There are no church activities, no owambes and no fun whatsoever abroad - just working and paying bills and no ambition.

I was told I had no ambition on another thread where an abroad person had his house built in Nigeria appropriated by his parents... Some blamed him for not building for his folks and others questioned why he built in Nigeria when he was not going to live in Nigeria...

I was told that I had no ambition because I refused to build in Nigeria... I like HRGuy for his continual mention of Nigerian's group think - follow follow mentality.

Why will I build in Nigeria when I only visit for 2 or max of 3 weeks at a time? Father left 2 family homes - one in a city occupied by a sibling and with rent collected to maintain said property and for those in Nja to share/family expenses. One in the village that is now a white elephant project - a big family home with rooms for all siblings (5), study and 2 other bedrooms and a huge compound.

Just old mother and another sibling using the property - it costs a little to maintain; with a lot of the maintenance expenses falling on moi and those abroad. So why would I want to build a property in Nigeria that I do not need when my family is in the UK and we can do with more rooms (either by building an extension or buying bigger better property in the UK)?

*Nja group think: a brother-in-law in his 60s with no property of his own and one not utilised his full talent to the max, was slagging off Wole Soyinka for not building in his village or not doing much in his village - wtf? His money his choice!

chrisj2:
Some folks will give plenty food to their visitors and then their children will be eating scraps especially meats.
Also why do we eat some much meat and cut them so big? Moreover, why do some adults think they should eat the best foods with lots of meats while their children eat little?

All that nonsense of overfeeding the man of the house - what is that all about?

* I had the unfortunate situation of visiting a close family in Ibadan from a village; to catch up after years abroad. I bought the family all sorts of things including bread and dry foods. I was given a hearty meal by the missus - I am not a foodie type or Nja food type but ate some anyways.

I was mortified when the children arrived from school hungry and the mother gave them the bread I bought and gave them black eye beans to pick for cooking... When I told my motheron return to the village, she said the moin moin I bought for her and siblings should have been left for the children or I should have bought them cooked food as well... Terrible! I felt awful eating the food...

Some folks will give plenty food to their visitors and then their children will be eating scraps especially meats.
Also why do we eat some much meat and cut them so big? Moreover, why do some adults think they should eat the best foods with lots of meats while their children eat little?

All that nonsense of overfeeding the man of the house - what is that all about?

pocohantas:
First, Nigerians heap food too much!!!!

You guys don’t know portion control!

You tell them you want a little and they still heap the food. Swallow be looking like olumo rock on a plate.

No smart cook heaps a sweet food for people. They give you small, watch you rush it and allow you to ask for more. Then they swing their waist to the kitchen to give you more.

That is how stars do.

I was going through the comments until I saw yours. Some of us just don't know how to serve or present food.
Furthermore, if it is proper visitor not just mates or extended family member; the food should be served like a buffet - in small quantities or in pyrex or other containers.

I keep saying this every week to the missus - less is more. Too much in the plate and too much being consumed and sometimes wasted mostly by the kids. If they are still hungry, there are deserts or small snacks to supplement. Even pure orange juice is full glass - why?

Too much meat and drinks and so on and so on - only a glutton will finish and a lot of people have respect for themselves to finish and clean the plates

I am a fan but you cannot really box - very little movement, head movement or defence...

The guy is big and he used it but he can also box and move and avoid most of your punches.

You should have accepted his hand even though Tyson is a douchebag - a potty mouth and unserious individual that is lucky he is a white minority and from GB.

Any black boxer like Tyson Fury will have been maligned and cancelled or banned for good.

Your fiancée might be diamond but it is never enough and talking about lifting another family is whole lotta of bull. You need to sort yourself out (and siblings to some extent) before even considering marriage.

Acidosis:
Nah. He knows too well to identify the right opinion, what to accept and what to reject.

Btw, parents also come to social media to solicit opinions about their kids, upload stuff about their kids, making them vulnerable to strangers.

Could not agree more with your last two comments, and many of the others before. Only God knows if this man is living off the grace of his wife - just because he is abroad does not mean he is rich and everything is rosy.

Building the house before marriage and now with funds from the wife tells me a lot more about his situation...
Abroad people should always be wary about doing anything in Nigeria... There are now organisations or folks setting up scheme to help abroad folks to invest, including building in Nigeria. Phrankleen the blogger has too many cases of folks be diddled and frustrated by their nearest and dearest - he has in fact collaborated with others to help abroad folks through the processes of investing in Nigeria. A word is enough for the wise!

Lastly, it is not ideal to flaunt wealth or build wealth through people that are not so wealthy themselves but since the project had already started and he will also be abused for putting someone not family in charge... Damned! One way or the other!

OP, good luck sorting out this mess... You have been disrespected and scammed...

Iyajelili:
She cooperated to maximize their resources and what did she get from that? As African especially a Nigerian wife she dare not speak or get angry else she'd be tag a wicked wife. So I'll stand by my opinion.

I can understand what you are saying and where you are coming from... It is just my wish that we shed our mental slavery and how so called culture and traditions; some are really backward and hurt us as people.

The parents and many of the contributors here are the problem but they think they righteous and know what is good for others. Closed minds!

neyobills:
Oh so u have no problems staying in a family house so why chastise an aged couple who decides to stay in their sons house that can also be rightly called a family house

No one is assuming anything but you,let’s just say the house isn’t his for real even though he stated otherwise how does it hurt the investor that his parents decide to stay in a not to completed house,he didn’t say it was a finished and tastefully furnished apartment,how will his parents investing their rent money on the property affect the returns on his investment maybe you should give us your economical blueprint how this will affect the investor.

Lastly you are making plans for retirement and I hope the come true for you and mine as well but until that happens it’s still wishful thinking,I’m sure those parents had their retirement plans too,bringing it to fruition is another kettle of fish and we need Gods grace as well to make it happen,perhaps their retirement plan was sending their kid to school,their kid their choice,u have no right to chastise their choice of investment if u haven’t fed them before.

All this black people self hating crew self,where did u conduct your statistics that black people leave very inheritance behind,in saner climes no one cares much about an older folks inheritance when there is social security and safety net,abundance of jobs and opportunities,I’m sure you must have heard white people given up estate inheritances to their pets and no one raises the roof over there,how many black people have given their inheritance to cats?

You had better jolt yourself back into reality with this story so we won’t be using u as an example too someday,hustle harder and pray for Gods as well,remember the ice says it’s solid too until u put some heat on it.

Just Google Inheritance amongst blacks... Who said all white people behave one way or the other and a lot of blacks not leaving inheritance does not mean every single one of them.

I know how much better live has been for the last few generations compared to the current one - they have more disadvantages than my generation or my parents. If they do well that is all the blessing I need; the rest is a bonus.

Family house means my parents do not need my money or me to build them a house for them. I can build one but I do not do waste or ego...

A parents retirement plan is having a child - that says a lot about your mentality!

andyanders:
May your own children be a curse to you for your comment.

You will never enjoy any blessings from any of your children. Your children will be wealthy buth will NEVER bless you.

op, allow your parents stay in that house and God will favor you with financial breakthrough and you will have enough to build a much bigger house IJN, Ameeen.
This I've seen.

How can someone end with Jesus name and then cursed just because someone has a different opinion or attitude. You are not a Christian!

Iyajelili:
I hate people who seek advice on something clearer than water.

Firstly, as the wife, I'm done contributing to any project with my husband. I'll only carry out my personal projects without even his knowledge.

Secondly, as the husband, since my parents as taken the house with force as a compensation for "raising and taking care of me", I don't owe them anything anymore. Also, if the house is still uncompleted, they'll have to complete it on their own or live in it like that.

My advice to any serious bachelor on nairaland, listen to nairaland guys advice at your own peril.

What can one say about this? But, you should be fair, the situation is not clear - the parents have put spanners in the works. Couples are supposed to be partners and that works mostly fine abroad but Nja mentality can spoil this sort of partnership.

It does not do a relationship and children any good if husband and wife do not truly cooperate and maximise their resources.

neyobills:
I’m glad u have children and u are providing for them like a good parent should

Your parents could have decided not to send you to school but organize annual end of the year parties for motherless children for charity,it’s not on their head,it’s their choice as well.

Remember you will grow old and aged one day too and if it happens your kids are abroad while your aged wife has gone to her eternal rest and they have a house in Nigeria that no one stays there except a watchman and a maid and u decide to go there to be taken care of for the meantime but they refuse because they would rather use it for vacation apartments for their friends abroad or Airbnb and u would intrude the privacy of their guests,we can all hope you would respect their investment choices as well

If he is abroad and he has a house in Nigeria while his aged parents stay in a rented apartment,I guess the house will be gathering snow till he decides to relocate,do not let your lifestyle choices make you insensitive to your family.

I have no need to build a house in Nigeria - there are family houses that I can stay or hotel or Airbnb. I live a simple live and can manage anywhere - why would I be so stupid to build a big house just for show.

People should stop assuming the house belongs to man and that it is for him to come and live. Folks abroad want to invest their money and Nigeria give so much better returns on investment - simple as that!

If people are continually discouraged to invest at home from abroad - it is the country that will suffer...

Lastly, I am making plans for my retirement and old age - so I will not be needing financial assistance from the children - just their love and attention.

I so intend to leave a big inheritance because statistically a lot of black people leave very little for the next generation. I am even ready to downsize to a smaller apartment so that my kids can get on the property ladder. I am responsible for them - not the other way round!

MeghaneMorgane:
Your parents had a choice not to cut their dreams. They had a choice not to take care of you. They had a choice not to put in the effort to make you a responsible person in the society but they chose to do all these things for you. If they didn’t do anything to make you responsible, nothing would have happened too.
You need to appreciate God for giving you good parents and you need to appreciate your parents for being good parents. You owe them gratitude all the time because if not for them and God, it could have been a completely different story.

So the Bible will side with a parent that has a child and choose not to do the needful? Parenting and being a parent is not a quid quo pro arrangement! If you don't look after your children then you are not worthy of being a parent.

Parent is completely at fault - no blame shifting will change that fact; and they have totally embarrassed the husband with his wife and the in-laws that will know about this. So the wife and her family do not have a say in this.

Most couples abroad struggle with 2 incomes and this is not about men just being in charge of things... The parents must have known the circumstances but still have ulterior motives - sad!

Lots of advice out there telling folks abroad to be careful trusting family - but this sort of things will continue to happen. Pity

Zaheertyler:
I know we are all entitled to our different opinions
But your opinion is stupid
If your parents dumped you when you were a child it is their choice and nobody go beat dem
Abeg Dey use your head Dey reason
If you are living abroad and you build house for 9ja e no better make your old parents Dey there than dust to full there?
Stingy greedy fool
If you mention me I will keep on insulting you
Just look at the trash human being like you posted
Just read your comment and see what you posted
Don’t try to justify this is the dumbest shit I’ve read all my life

Who are you? Why are you so pained? If the parents abandoned the child that no one forced them to have, then it is on their head!

I have children and they were my choices and I will provide for them like a good parent will do - and I do not want financial considerations from them just because I was the sperm donor...

Stingy greedy fool is someone who pays the rent for the parents and possibly send money to siblings and after all that, they moved into his house without consent. That is a scam! Now crawl back under the rock you came out from. I am not interested in you or your opinion because you have offered none.

Has the OP said to you that he wanted the house to gather dust or use it to flex. It is clearly an investment between himself and his wife and his family. This nonsense could break his relationship and this one is talking nonsense...

Nja mentality! Parenthood is something that is a choice; kids do not veg to be born and it is the duty of the parent to provide for the children... It is not special and not something that the children owe them for. However, one can show gratitude far beyond what is normal and the guy is sending them rent money. Is he even the only one in the family to take care of the parents?

What are the other children doing that people are saying he should just simply build another house - as if, money is picked from the floor abroad and everyone abroad has limitless funds to build houses and spend on family.

It is hard to trust anyone in Nigeria, and that also includes parents and siblings... This kind of story is very common - at least they have built the house - some just chop the money and share amongst themselves.

The funds belong to the man and his wife. So they think he should just compensate the wife and that is the end - No! The wife will have lost respect for his parents and family and it is wasted time, resources and potential earning opportunities for the wife (and their nuclear family and those of the wife too). Also, where is he going to easily find money to pay the wife - if he could, he would have built the house on his own (as per Nja misogynistic mentality).

The parents messed up and it is not ok just because they are parents. Sad really. The man and wife might even be renting abroad and looking to that house as an investment - believe me, investment returns are so much better in Nja...

descartes400:
Do you know if he is building the house for business purposes? Like for rentage?

Now consider this...if the rentage of where his parents are staying in is 500k.. and at the completion of his ongoing house, he intends to rent it out for 2 or 3million a year or so? Do the math...
From the money accrued from the rentage of the house, he can comfortably take care of his parents rent and other welfare needs of his parents and will still have some change left...which can be use for other projects..like building another house for the parents.

I like your comment because just because they are parents does not give them the right to abuse their position... They did not even communicate they were going to move it - that is not nice. African culture is not progressive at all... Weird and backward thinking... What sorry black tax is someone talking about? Parents have children - no one forced them, and not all of them are as good and positive as people claim. He pays their rent too...

Lastly, I think some people have missed the part where he said the house belongs to his wife and himself - not just himself to and family... Should the wife now forfeit her investment because the parents-in-law have now done wayo?

It is hard for kids that are given too much too soon, to seriously appreciate those things and their value...
Moreover, there should be some degree of separation between parents and child and constant reminders that kids should hand off and be respectful to their parent's things and all things, and people too.

It should start at an early age! What was she doing when the boy was spoiling those things. Get him a child's tablet with strong case with simple instructions. And don't broadcast on the internet!

If you have to ask? On my second one and still a mistake - some of us are born free and should be free; no chains!

The whole saga is mucky! However, Kpopokgri was not the one that leaked the voice note - it was a Tonto Dike so-called mentee that claimed the voice note was stolen and leaked...

The question is why is the mentee and pretend friend of the Prince recording a phone conversation? And why share with others and be so careless (if you believe her) to let the voice note get stolen.

The Prince has since been defending himself and probably recorded Tonto to prove that he was not dumped as Tonto later claimed - the relationship was practically over!

I should also add that Tonto taking hard drugs and drinking heavily might have been known and he also said she claimed that she will curb it and change for good... She did not! She said she found god - also a lie. She was going to be quiet and not drag - also a lie.

The only person she has not really dragged with is Bobrisky; he/she knows too much and she is fearful

Tomilola360:
Victim of your husband recording your sexual affair?
Or the times your were oloshoing around?

Good points! As if your husband or partner does not have anything to lose in releasing a hidden sextape or film of himself and yourself... Can it be an affair with a wayward single guy (gigolo) or sexing with someone way below your standards?

People saying that the Prince will release a sex tape are not thinking clearly! He can never release a sex tape with himself involved; it will be damaging to him and he will certainly be prosecuted... If it were nudes then that is something else - still it will be a criminal offence with without consent at the outset of making the nudes.

A man like him sleeping with another man's wife will not take the risk of using a sex tape to blackmail - this is Nigeria; he could be deleted for such an act.

Tonto brought someone else into the matter just to prove a point about the sex tapes and the rest. The Prince has not revealed everything and I can bet that Tonto might have agreed to making sex tapes because of 'Love' or Hard drugs and drinks; and perhaps she has seen other sex tapes as well. But it is too late to maon when you might have willingly participated.

This Prince must be a fantastic lover to be sleeping with married women with big husbands and even being begged by Tonto...

Tonto trending is nothing to do with Churchill - celebs tend to show these sorts of photos anyway. It happened on Sunday does not mean it shout be posted straightaway on Sunday. Anyway, it might have been posted even before in some sort of private capacity.
I am impressed how happy they all are - and the child is happy and comfortable with all those in the photos - including aunties and uncles etc. That is a good thing for the child - nothing to do with Tonto at all.
People like Sapphire has taken things for her head too much. Tonto can be disruptive and it shows... I still wonder how she got full custody!

In fact I was telling the missus just weeks back when she was celebrating her birthday. I did not believe her young age (body and size just too big for that age)... Also I told missus that she cannot be happy with her weight despite faking it in the photos.
Why are our women so big with big belle - even those without knowing ds or those that have never had children. Pity! But I am waiting for the excuses that will come as usual. (But I am having none of it - you are fat because you eat too much and do not look after your body. Face and boobs and bottom is not all that it is about... Make up and Spanx no go cover your fatness!

When someone says a woman is overweight or even fat self; it will be termed body shaming, sexist and all sorts... But the day person deep inside wants to lose most of the weight despite saying they are big and beautiful...

These fat celebs, artiste and so on delude themselves and when they lost the weight, they get congratulated for what they should have prevented lor done something about a long time before.

I saw a singer recently called Lizzo, fat as hell but showing more that most normal slim girls will show - she is making money because she is talented and she does have her sycophants and parasites telling her she looks great and should be proud of her body - smh!

What happened to Adele is the end? And many others like her. Women! Eat less, eat better and exercise - simple! And no excuses!

BRATISLAVA:
What else do you know from their case that makes it a marriage scam? Your Nigerian brothers marry old white women everyday and they don't submit their passports for marriage scam. Guess why?

In as much as there's no transaction for the marriage it is considered a normal match. If it was deemed a scam by the authorities they wouldn't be married.

Are you serious? What exactly are you saying? It was a one-way scam from the woman not a joint scam that might alert the authorities...
How scam marriages do the authorities detect and stop anyway?

A scam is a scam - man or woman; why is this even an issue? Paternity fraud is also a scam even if there was no original intention to pass on someone else's child but the other party is being scammed.

Whataboutery? WTH?

When it is meant to be... It is an unusual time especially for ladies tennis and with Djoker losing the men's distribution of winner might expand a bit.

But let's not get carried away - it is still one grand slam in Covid times with many of the main contenders having played many more matches and were carrying niggles or simply exhausted with travels and not enough practice and consistency with Covid restrictions and quarantine.

Also, Leylah cleared the way for her with 3 top players falling to her. Shelby Rogers got rid of world number one - Barty and Bencic was just off form and thoughtless with Emma's aggressive play and serve. Mind you, Bencic just came straight from the Olympics that she won. Barty, Saba too and Naomi who is still recovering...

No one can take away that grand slam and the unique way she won but tennis is a brutal sports - just ask Roger Federer losing with 2 match balls (still not recovered) and Djokovic now losing a chance of a lifetime to be more than immortal (cried)...

She will be a marked player from now and by 2023 with Covid gone, if she is still right at the top then she will stay at the top and win more grand slams.

Bianca Andreescu (another Romanian descent) won US open defeating Serena but since then no GS or even that many titles. Sofia Kenin, Krecjicova and others like Garbinee with 2 GS and losing winnable matches.

Let's see. I like her game though and she does not have to qualify anymore so she will be in major tournaments with easy chance to gain points and money; add endorsements and sponsorship - she is made for life! £1.8 millions pounds for 3 week's work and 2040 points - wow! Not even a professional for 1 year...

Every single 3pm kick off is 0-0 at half time... What are the Odds of that? Betting people Anyone put in such a bet?

Hell No! Ronaldo don spoil things - even without Fergie time

It encourages too much emphasise on the meat content of the food... It also encourages some to eat too much meat and not really appreciate all foods... It is also part of poverty mentality! Big men and rich people might display a large number and varieties of meats with their meals but some of them are steal with that poverty mentality - like I am now rich, so i can eat whatever and however much I want...

We do not need that much meat to have a balanced nutritious meal... I do not subscribe to oversized pieces of meat - that is very wasteful or look greedy and common. I tend to dice my meat and eat them along with the food - even if you give me a big piece of meat; I use my knife to cut little bits off and eat along. I do not like shoving big pieces of meat in my face and eating like a carnivore with sauce or grease all over the face and hand. I also tend to return meats if any left after the meal - i can always have it later as snack or in another meal.

We should eat less meat for our health, cut the cost of food and to conserve the environment and for those in the south to depend less on the North (and Imports).

Thanks to the commenter above me... Some women will not listen - they think cleanliness is just bathing and fussing over small dirt and stuff. Mine now dey act as if she is the cleanest in the world - washing this and that and cleaning this and that - wasting water and disposable towels and toilet roll and hand gel and so on. This food is off and that one get colour and I am not eating this and that...
Guess who gets sick the most?
In addition, many of our women think beauty is just their face - selfie here and there - but they allow their body to go - many looking pregnant and overweight but will still not exercise or eat reasonable portions. Some are showing big boobs and buttock as that is what make them attractive or beautiful; some men are such Hot goats that they fail our women in allowing them to delude themselves...
I am sorry, not attractive is what it is - beauty is in the hand of the beholder...
One cannot be blamed when one married a young single mother that was slim and demure but in less than 3 years and a child later; she is like a MAMA and will not change habits; just excuses... It is just so sad to be saddled with some ugly woman and the only thing keeping things going is the kids and not wanting to be mean...

Lost interest after marriage - does nothing for me these days; just hard work... I cannot be bothered at all - just fulfilling obligations from time to time. I have been put off but dont even miss it

descarado:
Somebody's house is on fire and you are talking of privacy
Incredible!

This platform is not a cruise catching platform for more than 90% of the people who frequent here including yours truly cos majority of us would have been lost without this place including viewers.
Park one side biko.
Moralistic Nigerians
Mtcheeew

I salute you! I forgot to mention that the forum is more than just a play thing... It is a unique one for those already in the country and those intending to arrive - a minefield of useful info and yes, of course, frivolities...