₦airaland Forum

The temptation is there - and yes, there is a trust issue in every relationship... And I am not talking about cheating with other people but when you suspect things then you will want to clear your mind...

I knew the partner was hiding stuff (for s lot of people, it is not a Biggie), it is fundamental to me that she does not bring religion especially Pastors and I do not do Nja mentality...

By the way, the phone is permanently glued to the missus but she does not know about phones and IT as I do; so she ask me to do things on her phone...

I don't want the temptation - that is my reason for giving a testimony. She can use my phone but she will not get my password or passcode. Just like she can use bank card for chip and pin and small spends but no pin number.

If anything goes wrong even if it is innocent the authorities will not compensate because I would have compromised myself.

I don't want her pass code or want to check her phone. Ignorance can be bliss as for as I am concerned.

I do not cheat but I will not expose my financial and private extended family affairs (it is good to be sensitive and not get your partner to know too much which she might then blurt out or even use against you or your family).

In a relationship or not, you all need to lock your phones and even your SIM card... Unless all you do on the phone is call or text, then you are opening your info to all and sundry including your partner.

Mine is locked and hers is not - i have read some messages in the past and i was not happy and still not happy. It is better we all keep that little something to ourselves.

Giving that I get family messages and have bank and career stuff and emails and others, she does not need access to every aspect of my life.

I don't check her phone anymore since I found that she is consulting with a pastor that I have specifically banned... I am an atheist and she does some religion (in and out Pentecostal for person reasons as most of them do).
Finding out the to and fro with the pastor weakens me and the relationship but I shall not tell her yet but often drop hints that they are all fake pastors and always blast religion...

No, private is private... I will also not share profile

Why would a woman that has had many many thousands spent on her want to embark on a financial investment like building a house in Nja or even buying a house abroad without telling the husband?
Why does it sit right with some of our women to expect a man to foot most of the bills (even when the women are working) and then their own money has to be protected from the man...
Why do some of the women put their families above their husband and their main benefactor as in the case of being sponsored abroad and provided for from the man's toil and sacrifices?
A marriage is not by force but like some have said, loyalty is rarity among Nja women - they seemed out to settle scores (even from old baggages and dad's) as soon as they get some power or independence...
Women that want equality should practice what they preach...

Sterope:
Great points but it applies to both genders please.

You bring your culture of misogyny and ego to a different country with a culture. I understand that it is ingrained in some of you and it might be difficult to change but at least try. Don't leave all the chores to your wife. Engage your kids too. Then some these men that choose to abandon their financial responsibility because of child benefit. They would rather spend on GFS and young ladies back home.



The women, suddenly they desire better. They want live an more expensive lifestyle. The picture of the abroad is not what they expected. Then in some cities, you see them in very silly competitions from the number of bfs, owanbe, number of houses they have in Nigeria.

Stay outside many of the big cities or keep to yourself.

I disagree to some extent on the issues of misogyny and African men not be able to adjust. Some have been abroad for many many years and have had relationships with western Washington men both black or white. There is just something different about bringing someone abroad and those brought over developing serious wings even when the men are no different from their white counterparts. Oyinbo men too do misogyny and their women too can be as submissive...

Black women at times have the Jezebel complex and get too angry...

I heard from one of these husbands that the women have a WhatsApp group in the UK... Chai! Hiss...

You will be surprised; if not for my family, my own for stay in Nja for a long long time. Discovered that the relationship was a mistake soon after but pikin dey and some men are actually very responsible despite what some women think or say...
It takes a lot of work and sacrifice to be able to sponsor someone to come abroad - it is even more so when the partner or spouse has very little in every aspect...
The women can continue to do as they please, it will reflect on the children - the Nja communities abroad will soon become like Janis - many single mothers and baby fathers. Gangs and knife culture and also poverty and jail time for a lot of the boys from these associations

I got to work; Turkish guy asked me where are the boys? 'I said, what boys? He say the 1000 boys abducted by Boko Haram...
I just sighed and said I don't know what is going about the numbers or the country.

The last time, he spoke to me about the Turkish contractors kidnapped...

That is Nigeria!

Buying gifts is all well and good but how many women will voluntarily buy gifts for their partner; even when the bulk of the money they have has come from the male partner.
Are you going to give me money to buy gifts for the children when you have already given her enough money to buy gifts for children and herself. On top, she gets gifts and additional amount of money.
I get so annoyed these days when missus address me like I am a sugar daddy or uncle or toaster. Use your brains and money for heaven's sake...

Aside from African music and real African clothes which are often not practical to wear in some of the colder countries; there is very little that makes s Nigerian stand out from other African or African Americans or Black Brits and many other mixed bloods.
However, there are quite a few on the negative side... Presently, is there much to be proud about as a Nigerian? A lot of people abroad just hear about the negatives...
Anthony Joshua or Style Bender prostrating or talking in Yoruba or eating Nja food is neither here or there - they are not really Nigerians any more and what they are doing means nothing even to me as an African

So what happens next when one has been ensnared? It is just so difficult having to endure such liabilities without so much benefit. The sex is also overrated - a lot them are rubbish at it; they just want to be penetrated and think sweaty, energetic and so-called multiple rounds is all that is about...
Boring!
It is just about children for me but in my case, it was not easy to just keep her as a baby mama - curses!
Damn family and their religious and so-called cultural and traditional ways.
Some cannot even bring up children properly - they get angry quickly and do not stick to any routines and structure the children for a successful life. Many cannot wait to send the children to school even before 2 years old despite some not even employed. Chai - successful Nigerian men gets scammed easily by women. But most of the women are spoiled by men - and that gives some of them mouth and expectations beyond their worth.
Fancy broke women cursing some men as broke!

Karleb:
Yes now!

It's our religion that has turned it into a crime.

In those days when people were required to be chaste before marriage, people married early.

I mean as early as 18.

You can't expect a 26 year old for example to not have a natural urge to have sex unless we want to be deceiving ourselves.

18 is even late... 14 and 15+, more like

Can they not invite them for an online representation? This does not make sense? It is not as if they are going to arrest them even if they send a Rep in person?
There was no need for the invitation - they do not have any material evidence apart from those that they pieced together from various sources - they are not relevant as such. However, if CNN is so convinced about their own story, one will expect them to want to present such evidence to a Panel regardless of what they think of the Panel - they say their own and they get cross-examined and it goes like that...
DJ Switch was able to make presentation to a Panel in Canada while she was still in Nigeria - what is the difference?

...

How

A content provider who builds his own platform and is clear about what he will or will not accept can and should block people that thinks they can use his platform to promote their own agenda.

It is now t by force to listen to Phrankleen and by blocking you he is doing you and him a favour... As to the idea that he should be neutral - I laugh in Swahili; so he should just be a Presenter with no opinions?

Phrankleen was at EndSars protest and he had to travel miles to get there. So the USA did not invite the National Guard to quell protests and people were not maimed even with their so-called non-lethal projectiles? Nja is bad but let us have perspective here. Lots of protests in France but CNN is not there trying to cause wahala for French government - arms blown off etc...

Lastly, the UK is not what it was 20 or 25 year s ago, just getting to the UK is not the be all and end all... Not for those already doing reasonably well in Nja and then they leave everything behind and take family just because someone said it is great or they wanted to leave the country because it is not so good

There are many Nigerians fairing better than those abroad despite all the problems we have in Nja. If someone give you advice, then do your own research and then come to your own decision not because of a blogger.

Nja is in recession but despite that the UK and many entrepreneurs still think it is a place of growth - go figure!

Someone advice you to go into Agriculture, you are complaining - it is what we seriously need in Nja and it is profitable if done well and with open eyes from scammers and insecurity in Nja.

Don't go to Phrankleen's platform if you are ultra-religious and want to spout such nonsense, if you are the sentimental type or if you are uber-traditon and family centric. Avoid him but if you want to learn from othet people's mistakes and successes then listen and learn.

The same people moaning about Phrankleen will obey pastors and their religious sect doctrines that are not progressive at all.

Man working in a bank and doing well takes all his family to UK on the advice of a friend and that friend did not even meet him at the airport and switched off his phone. They ended up homeless and have to beg for food from churches and food bank. They were also immediately homeless because they were meant to stay with the friend... Wicked abroad people!
The last topic about a family losing their babies because of religious nonsense at naming ceremony and scrubbing the child with traditional fibre sponge is enough to hail Phrankleen for his educative contents. Sad folks just come here to bash him and talk about EndSars or how bad Nja is - Phrankleen knows that and we all do too but people still live in Nja and are doing well if not better than those of us that work ourselves to a early grave and not able to enjoy the money in the UK or abroad...

Ofemmanu1:
Nobody came out to claim he lost a husband or brother in the Army to Endsars protest.

lie mohd is a basterrd son of a goat.

Why will the members of the armed forces or even Police come out in that fashion? No sense here? They will be taken cared of, so why publicise themselves.

Governor's already promised to take care of the families and the army should as a matter of fact look after their own.

Internet is such a bastard!

Notatribalist:
Your papa born you well,you get sense bro.

Rose tinted glasses...

Agents or no agents, all protests end up being hijacked by all sorts of people and peer pressure and emotions also play big roles in causing otherwise peaceful protests to turn nasty...

Some of our youths while protesting also wanted wanton destruction and a reckoning... The protest stopped being altogether peaceful when people were being stopped from going through the normal lives...

No justification for what happened from the so-called protesters. None!

baratech:
Show us proof

. There is enough online proof of the destruction... Prisoners being set free, dpos and other police personnel being killed in public - lynched. Business and infrastructures destroyed. Ordinary people killed even before Lekki, Lastma officer bloodied for nothing.

However, we yet cannot find a person who was a protester at Lekki killed Families can seek asylum and japa but no one yet except Switch and another...

Anarchy will not be tolerated by any sand government and its people. Protests got SARS disbanded and talks began but they had to carry and try to overthrow the government... We are lucky it did not succeed because we will end being worse than Iraq or Libya...

Bad governance protest should have been for another time and truth be told we are all part of the government and we are also corrupt

Guestlander:
Why would the army go there in the first place when the protesters were there singing and waving flags? Does that constitute a threat to anyone?
Why would the army go there to shoot blanks?

You should have listened to the submission from the army guy at the panel. The organisers of the |Protest themselves knows that things were getting out of hand... The original protest was going to be dealt with (?). They now moved on to bad governance - not ideal! Some protesters might just be singing and waving flags but others were destroying things and causing havoc for other folks in Lagos especially, Police men were being killed, organised criminals and thugs were using the protest as cover... Etc etc

The most important reason why the army were called is because the original protest was against the Police so they cannot call the Police and after imposing a curfew, people still went out days before and beyond curfew time. No country in the world will allow protesters to destroy things and other people's livelihood.

Stopp telling us that all protesters are University graduates just singing and asking for whatever - it was a heady mix of people and even nice people do bad things when in bad company and when emotions carry them too far

jikins:
Simple question what facts have the Nigerian military given to you that you believe them so much?

I dont need the facts from the military... The evidence from Switch is enough and even the two videos showed that bullets were not discriminately fored into protesters> It is obvious! The army is not the problem here - we should shift our focus to the protest and mourn the dead and hail them as martyrs, But there was no Massacre - some many days after incident, we are still talking about maybe 7 and some missing people

Army said they fired blanks - I believe that they fired some blanks and CNN did not even say they did not... The MASSACRE conspiracists are the ones that have to prove there was one - that is what happens in court!

We have bad governance and that is the real issue - not Lekki!

How many people in hospital with gun shot wounds. Injury and Body counts also included folks not even associated with Lekki protest. There were other agents at work - perhaps they have already been embedded with protesters and there were hoodlums and there will have been a stampede especially from folks in the middle and back that could not tell whether the bullets are real or not. Blanks and flash bangs were definitely fired - and that is why people at the front immediately disperse...

somehow:
Me sha no believe CNN's own

people died sha

I cant believe CNN after the case of Iraq, yemen, and Libya

Thank you! I just posted something similar. Nigerian better be careful of what they are wishing for? We dont need foreign intervention from people that want to take us back as slaves - at least economic slaves... 70 odd million people still voted for Trump. Obama prosecuted so many wars and they do not keep tabs on body counts if you are foreign and from Africa.

And yes, CNN can also do hal;f-truths - they all do. I see them track the soldiers, they showed bullet casing and it was Serbian from 2005... They showed the same grainy video that is not exclusive and they think shots were fired at protesters - perhaps some useless soldiers fired bullets into the ground and that from above - how are we sure it is not blank. Lots of conjecture but not facts - we do not need CNN!

Ihatemumu:
some stupid Nigerians are still saying fake news, nothing happened at lekki etc, If lying is a mineral resource, Nigeria would be richer than USA

Fake News can also include some truth... No one is now saying nothing happened at Lekki or the Army was not at Lekki and that there was no shooting at Lekki... But we need more evidence and facts - no grainy videos that does not even link together. If Soldiers were firing indiscriminately, how come there was very few stampede right in front of the soldiers and who will be so calm to be filming soldiers hooting real bullets anyhow...

Actually, CNN should also have acknowledge that flash bangs and blanks were fired - it is obvious because people are not falling down as the shooting was going on.

There were most likely live bullets involved but there were also blanks (they use them for training and are likely to have more than the ordinary Police (rather than riot police).

Just because CNN did not like Trump does not mean they will not defend their own country if they do unjust things to other countries. They embed themselves with aggressors and film a one-sided war and they will not do what they are doing to the Nigerian government if they were the ones killing innocents, blacks, browns in foreign lands. Enough is the bigging up of CNN!

massacre
/ˈmasəkə/
Learn to pronounce
noun
an indiscriminate and brutal slaughter of many people.
"the attack was described as a cold-blooded massacre"
Similar:
slaughter
wholesale slaughter
mass slaughter
wholesale killing
indiscriminate killing
murder
murdering
mass murder
mass homicide
execution
mass execution
destruction
mass destruction
annihilation
extermination
liquidation
decimation
carnage
butchery
bloodbath
bloodletting
pogrom
genocide
ethnic cleansing
holocaust
Shoah
night of the long knives
slaying
battue
hecatomb
verb
deliberately and brutally kill (many people).
"thousands were brutally massacred by soldiers"

No massacre! They confirmed that the soldiers were there - they have fessed up themselves after trying to cover for Sanwo-Olu. They showed what appears to be two points of shots being fired and then protesters with bullet wounds... No direct link from shooting to victims and where are the bodies? They should keep digging - too many lies on all sides.

What happened with live bullets should not have happened if it were soldiers but getting the army involved was the right move and DJ Switch and others are wrong to imply that the Army should just leave them and hoodlums to destroy the country after a curfew was put in place to allow some protest but limited to a few hours.

This sort of nonsense if what gets developed countries destroyed by the same Western governments that employ the same tactics. Trumps and other Governors in the USA called the national guards, army involvement plenty in Egypt. The UAE with the help of the US crushed their own spring uprising while at the same time fighting Gadaffi and Assad. We have had so much going on in France that is not being reported = they used all sorts of weapons, short of live bullets - some of those can kill and have killed...

There was no MASSACRE - show us the bodies and how many? Nigeria needs to change but the last thing we need is foreign intervention to help us back to the Stone Ages - they will happily destroy us and take our OIL...

The woman will have also known the man she married so why is it the man's fault for the woman's actions? You get married to forge a new life with your partner no hang on to the coat tails of your family - either side.
I don't like travelling too far for functions - simple as that! I will allow certain instances if it is very close families but to go and do owambe 100s of miles away and with the children - not worth it. Also some of those functions just exposes people and their relationships; we are all managing and they are often not progressive at all. No is NO! She is not happy then she should say so and then act accordingly by being stubborn or moving out - subterfuge action is worse! DNA DNA DNA!!!

Just imagine the children coming back with tribal marks or fetish stuff done to them... I shall also be checking the DNA of those children - he works away from home a lot... If you know, you know

Some says he is too hard on the wife and others say he is too soft... Please! The wife is the one that chose to break the trust in this caseregardless of how the man might have been to her. It is a selfish and dangerous act - simple!

Is it a divorce matter, NO; not at this stage... But the man has to be more watchful and let her know that what she did is unacceptable. People should be able to say No in a marriage; if the man does not want the wife dragging his children to a funeral in a goddam village, the that is his choice... The woman can also put her foot down and insist on going but with the compromise of going alone...

Such a woman is invariably dangerous but this things happen in a marriage... It is not the end of the world but personally I have very little time fpr religion and tradition and all the those family gatherings... I want my family to be progressive and look to a prosperous future not be held back by tradition and follow-follow issues.

Who died for the woman that the husband did not know about? WTF?

For the men, it is liabilities everywhere... Some of the younger women cannot even cook properly, they are wasteful and soon let themselves go... If not for children, I will not be married because the sex is not even good - not with a fat 20 something woman who is loathe to exercise or eating sensibly. She has used my money to overfeed herself and now wants me to spend a whole load of money helping her shed the weight and still find her attractive. I did not realise that it was hunger that made her slim even after having a child before - now I know. And the family wahala too - on both sides; women no care about men at all. Monkey dey work, Baboon dey chop...

You broke up and lived separately but still seeing each other... That is messed up!

If we are to believe Sani Aliu, 80+ plus tested positive out of 2000+ just after they opened international flights to all.
Somehow people are still bringing in Covid to Nja - and Covid 19 cases in Nja is mostly imported... That is his story for Nja government implementing a retest after 7 days...

Moreover, there is no way of ensuring that Nigerians self-isolate for 7 days talkless of 14 days like is operated in the UK.

We are typical rule breakers - so this is our punishment! Sigh!!!

* As for the website to upload test and get QR code, it goes without saying that it was never going to work smoothly. Add the fact that tests can only take place in Lagos or Abuja - it is all very stressful to go for a short visit

I now regret going down this route with this conversation... Let's drop it before we do more reputational damage or even get the UK government to put a stop to the loophole... But if other nationalities are so doing, the same; you can just imagine... Best wishes to everyone. And thanks for the info on private testing - Assured Testing appears go enough and results time seem adequate