₦airaland Forum

shizzle11: You are being judgemental and too fast too. Why did you choose to see only the 'sex' aspect of his comment ignoring every other things he said?

he said a lot of other things, not being able to watch even movies he bought, staying on the internet almost 24/7 etc, not being able to hang on for much longer with a particular is just one of several issues he raised, why put so much focus and energy to it, giving a blind eye to others?.

SeaGold: Have you consider what actually may be wrong with their relationship?

he doesn't love his wife anymore?
He's bored with the marriage?
He has one young babe by the corner turning his head?
He's tired of the marriage?. Etc etc. Who knows what reason it is? All in all he's not the first man to wake up after 15yrs or 30yrs and decide he wants another wife. It's a common thing

Have you consider why the woman is on the defensive trying to strengthen the marriage?

she has nowhere else to go?she's dependent?
She's scared of being called a divorcee?
There are millions of reason why my naija sisters will cling to a man even if he's showing them pepper just to answer mrs

What will it profit a man to abandon a wife of 10 years and 2 kids for another?

question for the gods. Definitely not a question for a man controlled by his kini. Maybe we can go ask all those abandoning their wives with 5-6 kids what it profits them.
Freedom to flirt around is one sure profit they'll tell you

Intelligently analyse the situation and tell me if that woman shouldn't do anything within her power to "plead" with the husband including having sex with him which is still legally her right if indeed she is the one who'd cause crack in their marriage

if she's the one who caused the rift trust me that man won't hesitate to announce her sins to the world. Especially if she cheated on him. His reason is that he doesn't love her anymore. Not that she did any deal-breaking thing. I'm not against her working on their marriage but heck she must have tried all she could indoors before the case reached court. And this cold man had the heart to still take her on the very morning they were to appear in court.which buttresses my point that she sold herself low. After doing it did he withdraw the appeal? No. He took her to court the same day. Who's shamed now? Definitely not him. ..

sage2: First of all, let me say that, it is not my place to say exactly what "responsible" ladies like doing.
Secondly, I didn't trained as a mind reader to know what is on their mind. I am sorry but that is the honest truth.
Thirdly, when I said, "I get laid like crazy", did I come across to you as someone who spend his vital resources in wooing girls?
Babe, you can assume o. LOL

Donkunxex: the end iz nigh noni..... 2 ukraine jets were shot down today too.

sage2: Back to topic.

In as much as I won't promise any girl relationship of marriage just to have sex with her, you really don't expect me to look the girl in the face and tell her that I just wanna have sex with her just once and then walk away, do you?

SeaGold: Like I said the woman is doing everything humanly possible to keep her home and she ain't yielding even unto the last day until result is accomplished.

You and your feminist members can rant and call her unprintable names but this time she is trying to use sex to quieten the storm. If sex could be the leverage for unification then let give her the applause.

I don't expect a married woman of ten years with two wonderful kids to "okay" a divorce notice without fighting for the survival of her marriage.

Marriage is a long journey and it required two mentally fit people so that when one partner gets tired, the other can back/support the tired one until he/she regains strength. Backing out because a partner got frustrated means you weren't prepared for the journey.

Like I said; the woman is fighting brave. It ain't over until it is over.

Arsenate: make una dey give up na. all this feminists sef. even when its obvious to every reasonable being out there that the person you are quoting is making perfect sense you still arrogantly refused to learn. just open your mind to learn once in a while. you mustn't always "win" debate or argument.

SeaGold: The way you all rant on nairaland looks like you're all having a perfect life out there. You read a story without taking into cognisance what might have prompted the woman to "act" irrationally rather you spewed your hasty reprimand.

Which woman would want to end a 10 years old marriage without fighting back?

which woman will want to abandon 2 kids or become a single mom in her late 30s?

Who really need a divorce anyway? Not a practising Christian that I know.

Have you taken into cognisance the psychological trauma the kids and family will be subjected to if there is a divorce?

Marriage is a thing of maturity and it requires 2 thinking individuals to be involved in for it to work. Just like in economics we say diminishing returns, marriage has it own fair share of return no matter how hard the partners involved pretend over it. Sometimes it takes the mature one to keep the marriage going and here the wife seems to be the intelligent one trying to sustain it.

Majority of men experience mid-life crisis as in dwindling fortune, peer pressure, inability to accomplish set target, health issues, family challenges etc and it can rub on their emotional and spiritual life thereby threatening their homefront but it will take a mature and intelligent woman to suppress these challenges and be for the man at such trying moments. Yes the man might act irrationally but that's all there is to it. Only a good woman would stand by him no matter the storm and testimony will abound later.

The woman initiated the sex just to have a hold on her dear husband. That was her evidence at the court that she is still in love with the husband and that she is Prepared to whether the storm. She is doing the right thing and I pray dear lord that her husband comes back to his senses.

Not every storm in marriage should make a woman exit like a flashlight.

donpeey22: I'm amazed that you the advocate of 'divorce a cheating husband' is saying this. Tell me you're being sarcastic pls. @topic, I'll simply throw both the woman and her b@st@ard child out of my house.

sholasholala: I see.
I asked because the OP mentioned the fact that he doesn't do wh0res. If she agrees to have sex with him "with no strings attached", we don't know how many other guys she is sleeping with (under same condition). So BY MY STANDARDS, she is a wh0re.
That's if at all she knows he is only there to hit it once or twice.

sholasholala: But wait o.
When a lady who knows that it is going to end at one or two rounds of sex still goes ahead to have sex with that guy, does it make her a wh0re?

I don't do no whores but yet I get laid like crazy and I mostly hit once, rarely twice and on a few occasions thrice and I am done with the babe. She could be as beautiful and pristine as they come, it won't change anything.

sage2: That is the problem who you, ladies. You just expect relationship or marriage from a guy simply because you had sex with him. I don't know where you all got that from.

Some of these ladies where in what they called "happy relationships", so you are wrong here. What do you have to say about those who cheat on their partners? Is that also in anticipation of marriage or relationship?

GentleMimi: Intelligent woman all the way,no argument there.
I'll choose intelligence over gentility. Gentle peeps could be wickedly dangerous,you know? The intelligent woman knows how to handle situations as it deems fit. The man can go out and confidently leave his home in the intelligent woman's care.
The intelligent woman influences the children too. Makes them smart and active.
God forbid,but if the man passes away,the intelligence of the woman is needed for her children to make it in life with the few available resources.
The intelligent woman is not necessarily bossy or arrogant,just a lady who knows what she wants and then goes about achieving it in the easiest ways possible.
The man cannot be at his peak at all times in terms of mental capability. Sometimes,he needs a mentally strong woman to give him the required push.
Note: it is only strong men that take up the challange of an intelligent woman. Weak men want ''gentle'' pushovers,whom they can control like puppets on strings.

dapsy4u2: . You sound bitter like one of the 'two round' ladies....... Are you

sage2: There was no deception or any promise whatsoever. If that is what it takes to get you laid then you are in big trouble. I know of some guys who will even take drinks to your father.

sage2: I never said I lied to anybody. And who told you I don't respect women? Women have been and are still the most nicest people to me. But there is something about some of them that see me as a guy they have to lay. Those that respect the no-sex relationship I prefer to have with them will disagree with you. I have always been and I will always be good to women.

I tried my best to help them whenever I can and I have been doing this since when I started helping them with maths lessons from my junior years in secondary through University.

I however observed that some of them have been programmed to think that Men don't render free seervice. I could see some of them willing to compensate you with sex even if that is the last thing on your mind.

You don't really know me but you feel its your place to me tell that I treated women like sex objects. I have quite a number of girls who detest me today because I refused have sex with them. One even told me that I will die. Please don't be quick to judge.

apolonius: Is being a cook all she means to you?Put out an advert for a chef then. A wife does the cooking for love and never as a role.

If she assumes such a role,it is out of freedom and love,not because of some guy with a funny concept of her.

pfijacobs: Haba... A man's actions are often influenced by a lot of factors and only a strong woman can stand by her man irrespective of hardships and turbulence... Dis is marriage not a fling... MARRIAGE is for better and for worst... Strong women pray...it myt be her fault, it myt not be... But d responsibility of sustaining d marriage is hers... @op pray jare... D heart of a king is in d hand of d lord...

coogar: whoever said there aren't weak men around? of course there are. weak people are everywhere.



name isn't to mark ownership - it's about following the guidelines of the marriage tradition. she should have married herself.



force is out of it!
it's an optional thing.....take it or leave it. there must be plenty of women out there that will take the offer.



falling in love is the easiest part & yes, nearly all of them are excellent wife materials.



even now, it's not too late.....
he should just drive her back to her father's house and ask his MIL whether she kept her own maiden name. if the answer is no, he should dump the wife there for more home training. she must have skipped some while growing up. 13 weeks of staying with her parents will reset her brain.

coogar: their wives must have paid their bride-prices themselves. i reiterate, only weak men allow such nonsense especially when he's forced by the woman to take the option.

no one is forcing anyone to bend to my will. it's a take it or leave it offer. if her maiden name is more important then she's probably not good enough for me to marry.

there are way too many pebbles on the beach!

coogar: only a weak man would allow such nonsense.