₦airaland Forum

madridguy:
Sentiment aside we know how the story dey always go.
The children will need their mother more so they need to be with her for now.

You know “how the story dey always go” is a confirmation of your bias. Because you definitely do not know the facts . You just believe what you want. Even if you were to hear the truth and it doesn’t favor what you’ve predetermined in your mind, you still won’t believe it.

And the children needing her for now means she’s not useless in the family then is she? I guess that wasn’t enough

Bounceboune7:
i don't pity d lady cos it's obvious this woman go do show d guy shege.

It's obvious d guy outsmarted d lady

pyyxxaro:
If you check well , she go don over torment the man for Spain


Carrying a Nigerian woman abroad is one of the easiest ways to have HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

Zonefree:
The Man took the best decision for himself and his family.

Looking at that woman, it's obvious she was growing unnecessary wings in Europe hence the man decided to clip her wings.

Madam, enjoy Nigeria to the fullest.

madridguy:
Crocodile tears. When a man hustle day and night to take you to a more conducive clime, only for you to reach and start growing wings, dragging power with your man.

If it is that easy, hustle on your own and return back there.

Brother Chinedu, I rejoice with you.

Without even knowing what happened, your first assumption is to believe that he must be right. When the truth is that y’all always rejoice whenever it seems that a woman is on the receiving end of an unfair deal.

Rabid woman haters.

So what did the children do to him? They grew wings too?

But then they don’t get hate on the evil west. How can they cope with that?

ArchiLimited:
War. There's absolutely nothing good about war. And for Putin's online war veterans on Nairaland, I'm very sure none of you were born during Nigeria's civil war. Your only experience of war is what you see in Hollywood war movies and you think war is the way they act it in movies, with all the glory and heroic actions. How misleaded you are. There's nothing glorious about war or about dying. In real war, soldiers don't bow out heroically. No they beg and cry in fear of dying. In real war children are hit by flying bullets and cry and suffer before they die and nobody can help them because everybody is fighting for their own lives. What your lord Putin has started, if left unchecked, will bring war to your doorstep and then I'll see how much you still love and support him when you're hiding inside soakaway for fear of being killed. You better pray for peace. I tell you, if you experience real war, you'll give everything you have in exchange for one single day of peace.

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Daisyyy:
Some women are actually softhearted enough to bond with kids that are not biologically theirs.
Some others literally goad themselves into doing it in order to be in the good books of the man.
It depends on the woman and the uniqueness of each situation, I guess.

Bonding is possible. It takes time and reciprocity. Even biological moms don’t bond with their kids immediately, so it’s not really about soft heartedness.

You’re right the uniqueness of each situation will make a lot of difference

baby124:
Is Banga Ofe Akwu? That soup I give salute please. Not healthy at all. I ate it and all my pores blocked, I was afraid for my arteries.

Yes both are made from palm fruit. In our area, we add scent leaf to lift the flavor profile and it’s typically eaten with rice not fufu.
It’s indeed very oily but so very delicious . It’s definitely a once in awhile type of thing not a staple . diet unless the person eating it plans on burning tons of calories everyday.

stacyadams:
Lol...I only pity the foolish men, who runs and remarry thinking new wife will look after children that she did not give birth to...

Some of them remarry because they can’t cope with being single parents. They need a live-in babysitter and care giver. So they marry women they barely know expecting that woman to automatically have the same bond the biological moms had with those kids. It makes not sense.

They should be asking for and signing up to lessons from single moms on how to cope without a partner instead of subjecting their kids to that harsh reality .

So they can’t think for themselves?
Does that sound like a leadership quality to you? Knowing that men are the supposed leaders yet somehow exonerating them of responsibility?

alanto:
I'm speaking from experience. We have seen a man and his wife maltreat his own kid because the wife couldn't stand them. This happens every time. I was a victim. When a woman doesn't like his step kid, she say all sorts of things about this kid to her husband who's not always at home to witness anything. You have seen this happen or not?
Most of the time this men take the side of their wife.

alanto:
I always wonder, a woman will shield and protect her own children, she will leave her children eating or doing something irrelevant and then send someone else's child on errands her child or children could run for her. I have noticed that though women love and care for their children like every other animals they always find it hard to love other people's children.

Start by loving other men’s children then we’ll go from there.

Women are not your emotional dumping grounds that you expect to just dig into this endless well of love and have enough for everyone regardless of how they treat them or the history between them.

Some of you are sure delusional with your expectations .
How many other men’s children have you tried to love?

It’s reasonable to expect basic respect & kindness (from both the men & women) towards other people’s children. Kindness is universal. But expecting a woman to have the same love towards children she didn’t bear or willingly adopt is a sign of immaturity and lack of critical thinking.

gistmega:
The most ridiculous accusation that I have ever seen in my life. Not even a prostitute in the entire world has ever had such allegation on her. This is her husband, not a boyfriend or a lover. This is too much for me to read. If she had poisoned him, I would understand but sex?

I can’t wrap my head around it too. Truly disturbing

pocohantas:
Una no go kill me for this Nairaland. Which one is palm oil soup again? We don’t have such soup na.

Women dey suffer for this Nigeria sha. Nothing good will happen to the man and they give credit to his wife, but once he cheats, dies, suffers business failure or whatever- then that would be the wife’s doing.

Ofe akwu. To me that’s palm oil soup. Unless she’s referring to something else.

But she’s right too. That man probably had a myriad of undiagnosed issues but what’s more convenient than blaming the wife?

We can’t just exist in peace without some people and their religious drama causing us unrest.
It’s always one thing or the other.

onuman:
They must have observed without any doubts that the woman was maintaining multiple sexual partners.

onuman:
Hardly any man would kill her wife because of a side kick.

But for women, it's easy. Because women don't like to be seen as adulterous.
Poligammy is a norm in Africa. Polyandry is not.

I don’t expect any better from anyone who thinks like this.

As expected, their first instinct is to humiliate the woman. His wife o. His wife at that. not a sneaky link.
Disgusting mentality

englishmart:
In the old, people like Solomon, David, Jacob, etc married more than one wife. God is still God and doesn't change. Do you think He now sees something wrong in marring more than one wife?

it doesn’t condemn more than one husband either

waistbead:
Ona doo!

Bia,Nwaanyi obi oma @Cococandy wer is you ?Nwa chineke kpuru ubochi Sunday

Nne ofe oha oyego!I know oha/ora is one of your favorite soup..this is for ya

Nne m Chukwu gozie gi

Thank you.

And this one looks so good

amorprincesa:
Hot, spicy noodles.

looks great

Hassanmaye:
They bang pussy

VirileNelly2420:
D enjoyment na for warders o, nd then, some inmates wit big shoes.

It’s sexual assault to have sex with an imprisoned person who may not be in a position to say no for fear of retaliation. Is that what you people are joking about?

MCKitchen:
Prison warders dey enjoy especially the oga kpatakpata on top.

snoopz:
Male warders dey enjoy o

What are they enjoying?
Explain

GloriousGbola:
I have to add an /s

I am the poster formerly ided as killer whale.
If it was my old moniker you would recognize that I am trolling

I see!

JONNYSPUTE:
...Yes.and to be honest with you,I wouldn't have said or complained about it if she didn't generalize .We have so many responsible men and women here and if we should allow something's like this, then we ve all lost it. But it's fine. I understand and I will do my best to respect both men and women here.
Stay blessed.

Well that’s what generalizations lead to.
Women get generalized and categorized as one and in response, men get generalized too for participating in the generalizations. It’s well

Grandmeister:
The fallacy of generalization.

right

You’re no longer single now. You’re married with family responsibilities. Not to mention that you’re not financially stable yet. Learn financial planning first

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Omotosho1090905:
Plus Men are quick to confide in women than in any other man

Maybe they confided in their significant others?
If you’re in an intimate relationship with someone of the opposite gender (as most people are), chances are you’ll confide in them before outsiders.

So men do help other men or not? Be clear

lecturer50:
Another thing that is surprising is that most men don't help a fellow man but would rather help women.

But when they have problem, it is a man they would run to for help.

Most men would not go to a woman to get help but they would rather seek help from a man.

But these are the people who like helping only women.

So if they have a need, why not go to women to seek help since it is only women you help?

Why go to a man?


If you are a man, and you help only women, why do you think another man should help you when you don't normally help a man?


I mean, it's very ironical.


Most males believe it is not proper for men to ask help from women.


They equally believe that as a man, they should help only women.


But when they have problem, they still expect a fellow man to help them.


Is it not totally ironical that you don't help another man but you expect another man to help you?


If you believe you must only help a woman, why not seek help from a woman when you also have problem?

I don't understand the irony that characterizes the life of men.

Because they are not really helping the ladies for help’s sake, they are positioning themselves in a place where they can gain trust and then get something in return. That’s just generally speaking not necessarily for the narrative the OP described.

Before you quote me to argue, ask yourself why y’all blame ladies for accepting “help” from guys if they are not ready to pay back in kind. That’s because you know the so called help wasn’t sincere to begin with.

Beremx:
Reasonable men have long left nairaland. What you see now are bunch of idiots that lack home training.

Ah this is the post you wanted me to call out?

Cc johnnyspute.

GloriousGbola:
Well er.. You and poco are like er. the lead amazons of the vagenda alliance/brigade of the great holy emasulation/manocide so..


We call on you to bring these disrespectful wrenches to order!

Interpretation: you think I owe the manosphere some duty of protecting their respect against anyone who would want to disrespect them?

You couldn’t be any further from the truth if you tried. It’s never been and will never be my responsibility. I won’t even try small because y’all enjoy disrespecting us. When I see you guys put the same energy towards respecting women, maybe it will be reciprocated

Kobojunkie:
Most Nigerian men have proven themselves incapable where it concerns the proper raising of their own offspring. Should women, who keep fathering children by these men, not take it on themselves to step up and cover the slack?

How do you hold ego driven dads who themselves don't even understand or see the problem since they were not trained to, accountable for that which they lack understanding of?

How do you go about convincing a man who has been indoctrinated, this from his childhood, to believing himself a god to women, that he is no indeed a god?

Children are malleable, and the only persons with at least some understanding of the problem are women who have for many generations have to endure the bullying of the men folk.

Okay what I’m understanding from this is that since some men don’t show interest in raising kids, then we should just give up on them and blame the moms some more?

I don’t think you’re entirely wrong for saying moms should try to raise kids differently than the generations prior. However I’m always pushed to react when I see anyone leaving it all up to the moms as if we’ve collectively agreed that dads don’t need to be bothered about raising kids rights. That’s where I’m coming from.

What are you talking about? The person I responded to said no such thing. Not even close. How did you jump from what I posted into the conclusion that I’m supporting “one of the posters” whose post I may not even have seen? I’ve literally not even been on the thread to see who posted what.

Also I wish you’d be this concerned and call out your brethren when they generalize. But no, you’re more concerned about telling me how to react to certain posters. You want me to “caution” someone for saying men lack home training. How many times have you cautioned anyone insulting women here? The audacity you have to have in order to think that I’m supposed to be responsible for ensuring the posters here uphold men’s respect when you don’t feel the need to do the same for women

JONNYSPUTE:
... Good morning Coco.Are you indirectly supporting what one of the posters said when she called all men here bunch of idiots that lacks home training? You are one the few ladies I respect here but for you not cautioning her is really bad.
Can't we atleast comment here without generally insulting everybody because we want to be seen as what I don't even understand? Must every discussion here start with insults and end with it?
Atimes I get discouraged commenting here because of issues like this.
Somebody who cannot even walk up to you in real life will hide under a faceless forum,threw caution to the wind and starts insulting everybody and some of you cheers him or her up.. We all should have a rethink about this.
Stay blessed.

Malory:
Is this what women has been reduced to?

embarrassing

AmazonTopaz:
When people tell me that there is no inequality, sexism or misogyny in Nigeria I just show them Nairaland.

The average Nairaland male is a representative of the broader Nigerian males and how they reason and that is very shameful

even as you’re showing them, they are arguing with you

Are men exempt from raising kids?
Let’s hold the dad’s accountable before the moms

Kobojunkie:
They were, a majority of them, trained by their mothers, and those same mothers also trained the girls that end up marrying the boys that are their sons.

So, when are Nigerian women going to have this conversation amongst themselves... like seriously?