₦airaland Forum

Seems like some women’s value didn’t go down with old age huh?

All widowed people don’t have to remarry in order to move on. So cut it out.

I believe the “curse” came after he treated her the way he did. In which case it’s not like he’s reacting negatively to the curse his mom placed. But she’s cursing because of how he behaved. Either way I’ll reiterate that I don’t support that.

It seems OP is grasping at reasons to justify his hate for women. Therefore his mom not paying the sister’s fees comes in very handy. Or the fact that she moved on after his dad died.

We should respect his feelings? If he keeps it to himself good and fine. If he comes on the internet to talk nonsense about ALL WOMEN, I promise you I will not respect that. Imagine asking us to agree with his putrid violent misogyny because he doesn’t get along with his mom.

Even people with terrible fathers don’t get support to be hateful towards all men. Yet here we are.


Edited. I’ve seen that he created a new thread. Let me go read it and see to what extent his mom went wrong and if her wrongdoing justifies the crucifixion of ALL WOMEN by OP.

Edited again: I tried to go read his threads. 240 topics and it’s all some form of woman hating diatribe. Anybody who empathizes with this OP is just another misogynist. There’s nothing to see in his threads except how best to be evil to women.

chinchum:
your responses still attempts to gaslight him. If i slap your sister because i dont like her face, you have no reason to feel bitter afterall it is not you i slapped. The op mentioned how he supported his brothers career with no acknowledgement by the mom.

Her moms irresponsibility of bringing different men is simply called safety issue when it is actually being irresponsible and not showing respect. Respect is reciprocal. If she needs to move on she can remarry, the home which maybe the family home is not a brothel. Op's mum not only has sons but at least a daughter from op's account.

Cursing your son for not having your way is also an irresponsible act. It is a classic act of irresponsibility which obviously angered the op and led to him making the earlier post.

If you get cursed by your parent, you have no right to get angry judging by your opinion

The Op summarised a picture of an irresponsible mom and his feelings should be respected except we have a contrary position.

chinchum:
You did not read his messages but you are quick to give opinion? (A)The mom choosing to invest in clothes instead of paying the required school fees for Op sister

so OP’s sister is the person I would assume is possibly in a position to be bitter about the school fees issue?

. ( B)The mom bringing different men she is not married to sleep with her in the family house. ( C)

While not ideal, I’m still failing to see how this was something that was done to him by the mom. What Is the problem? that there were many men or that it happened in the mom’s house? I read somewhere that the father is late. She’s not expected to be faithful to a dead man. Death did do them apart. He can be understandably sad that his father is no more, but his mom isn’t evil for moving on.

I wouldn’t say it’s wise for her to have different men in the house (both for safety purposes and for the sake of decorum). but it doesn’t warrant OP’s vitriol. We all know he wouldn’t be frothing at the mouth if his widowed father were to be sleeping with different girls. So miss us with the faux outrage and tell us what was actually done to him.

The mom cursing him because she feels entitled to receiving money from Op. A mom who can curse her son because of not receiving money from the son to treat "ill" health is irresponsible in my opinion.

I don’t support the cursing. Was it because he didn’t give her money or was it as culmination of the bad relationship between them? Either way I don’t support it anyhow

Classless women attempt to slut shame others. Good for her

Kobojunkie:
I am not even on anyone's side in this since I know for a fact that humans can be as evil as one can imagine. His mother may indeed be as bad as he claims, but that in no way justifies his cruelty towards women, and certain does not excuse his choices as and individual.

Certainly. Nothing justifies his thoughts towards women. If women were to be the way he is, no man would remain “unhated”. If that makes sense. I mean when you merely call out their hatefulness towards women, one gets accused of misandry. Imagine if women actually did treat them the way they treat us? Hell would break loose.

I was genuinely curious how his mom must have been for him to believe it can be used as justification for this. If she did molest him, then she deserves his hate but he certainly needs to leave us out it

Kobojunkie:
I was told he was supposedly molested by his mother but I too have yet to find information from him actually pointing this out for himself.
I did find it strange that his other op seemed to focus on his mother making his sister to cry as the fuel that drives his particular rage against her.

If he was molested by his mother, the hate is comprehensible. But like you , I didn’t see him say that either.
I really just wanted to know before I join all those “it’s your mom, forgive her” gang. I want to know if what she did is actually forgivable. And what level it must be to warrant the depth of hate he has

chinchum:
stop gaslighting him.
Your question is ridiculous. I bet you will not feel offended if i slap your brother or sister afterall i did not do anything to you.

Well if that’s what his mom did, let him say it and then I’ll know. The reason I’m asking is because of the level of hate he’s exhibiting but he hasn’t said what she did exactly.

And why are trying to assume I’m gaslighting him? You that’s not gaslighting him, please show me where he stated what she did. You must have a reason to feel his hate is justified. Show me so I won’t ask him

Kobojunkie:
Very good question !

I’ve been trying to figure it out from his posts but I don’t think he mentioned it anywhere

The sensational headline is to get us to come go back and forth with each other and line Seun’s pockets.

descarado:
Wonder why the sensational headline.
As a witness, he has already made the decision when 100% healthy prior to any emergency.
Secondly, unless he was wheeled in unconscious, he has papers to sign after declaring his faith before preping for surgery.

If he declares no blood transfusion,ethical team will come and perform their duty. At least its official. Any other thing that happens don't concern the medical personnel though some medications will be changed while new ones introduced if the person survives. They always do.
Very stubborn people.

What exactly did your mother do to YOU.
I mean you specifically

TheGidRedpiller:
Front page again. No problem.

For those asking why i would talk about this on social media, NOBODY in their right mind will express themselves so broadly the way i always do, not even I can do that, that is the essence my ANONYMOUSITY!!

Have Sense!!

MODIFIED; I have a purpose for sharing this, and i'm already achieving it, you have absolutely no idea how many young males out there are dying under the influences of abusive mothers!
When this kind of topic surfaces, everybody only wants to believe that only men can be abusive to their children, nobody wants to know that there are different types and levels of abuse!
I am anonymous FOR A REASON, i am a mirror portrayal of what many males out there don't have the balls to show the public, who wants to negotiate a molested boy? Who wants to think a woman is a bad person towards her son? NOBODY!!

ABSOLUTELY NOBODY!! Your son is next if you are not watchful,i am bitter and misogynistic, i accept but how did i become like this ASK THAT QUESTION FIRST! GOD!

author=GloriousGbola


he game is now how much sex do i get without money, or how much money do i get out of teh guy with minimal sex.

They are definitely trying to one up each other. He’s here to learn how best to go about it

Sounds like a bad idea.
1)Borrowing money to give as loan to someone who barely know.
2) what does her being a single mom have to do with any of this?
3)And why is she moving in with you if there’s nothing between you too?

Not a wise move.

Truth be told, you may not be the generous person you think you are. I’m thinking this way because of your focus on her single mother status. Some guys see single moms as desperate women that they can easily have their way with. I don’t see why you’re considering having her live with you if you don’t already foresee something happening.

Your only problem may be that you don’t know how to do that without losing your money in the process. As in, you want to eat your cake and have it back. Meanwhile she’s also looking for someone to use in that manner. So either suck it up and give her what she wants while you also get what you want or you just tell her No and move on. Stop trying to use our heads

blessedoluseun:
I want to help a B.sc Single Mother with 650k to start a business but am afraid of this Wicked World.
Note: am not Yet Married, we haven't slept together, kiss or Fun & never send any Love messages.
Good afternoon Nairaland, a Male colleague asked for advice pls Honestly comment.
Below is what he told me:
1. This Single mother is Graduate, with male Child 
2. Her Pregnancy is out of Wedlock, the Man has engaged anoda Woman is his house),
3. Her Mother & Father died, (accident)
4. The only Child for her mother while she has Step-brother & Step-Sister  She needed a job and came to the front of our Company office for Job, that time, I went for Lunch. approached me, pleaded to gain access H.R.  we dont know ourselves from adam.I submitted  Since Last year, but not yet Called, but she still pesting me to push her CV which i DID ..  no vacancy for her yet. But she will get Job b4 December 2022 (am very Sure)
now Yesterday She ask me if i can Get a loan for her to Start Grocery/Mini Supermarket. & she said she has experience.In my mind i want to give her, but i told her i will borrow from my company for her.
Now the Problem, She said cos of my attitude & Generocity Since when we met,  she want to setup the business in my area for me to Supervise it also. & she will be paying the loan weekly.
she said She will stay with me in my flat Till she is financially buoyant then get her own apartment.. House Where is living now will expire this monthend.
Pls advice me.. We both sat down & plan the 650k today for the growth of the business. But i want to take advise from Nairaland to  Either cancel the plan or Modify the Plan or Start it.
PLS advise
 if to cancel it: i will tell her my company refused to give me the Loan.
If to modify the plan :  pls tell me & advice me
if to Start the Plan: pls tell me & advice me
Thank you
@Kobojunkie:
My relationship with this lady is Just an acquittance but i do sent money to her if she ask me (once in a while)

Righteousness2:
The World is Filled Pretenders, Confused and Evil people.

You are going around hunting a man down because he hurt a cat.
Meanwhile the same people are sold out to abominable and wicked acts that Hurts and Provokes GOD ALMIGHTY.

Who is Deceiving who?

You guys should stop these nonsense and leave those guys.

Your god permits cruelty for fun?

AnonyUser:
I know this is not the right section for this but I need a wider view.

My neighbor just gave birth. I want to go greet them but I'm short of what to say. I don't wanna go there and be looking like a fool.

I don't know how to start the conversation.

What do I say when I get there?

I don't know how something so simple could be also very difficult to do .

Start with good morning and congratulations

OP what did your mom do to you?

In other words, white people first!

evy800:
I'm curious...how did it pan out?

I’m curious too because it didn’t get resolved on my shift and when I came back, I was assigned to a different patient in another arm (unit).
HIPAA laws prohibits us from inquiring about information about patients that are not directly under our care.

Ilaje1:
A doctor is meant to save life. Some doctors would have gone ahead, you can sue them later. There's a case like that in USA. The doctor's argument is that it's against her ethics not to save a life.

Here you can lose your medical license for going against patient wishes. If they say they don’t want it, you can’t force it. Medical autonomy comes first before anything else. Unless the patient is deemed cognitively incompetent to make medical decisions

Treadway:
Many have echoed your conclusion here, but it is not entirely correct. If the family really wants to take her up, she is in serious trouble. The point/fact is how does she PROVE that the husband consented to her not allowing transfusion under any cirscumstance? The laws of the country tho shambolic is still weightier than any gaddem doctrine, and I can tell you not all jw follow all the rules all the time. She is in soup, unless she is lucky to escape the wrath of her in-laws somehow. If it was someone who wasn't of age eg their child, that can hold water, but for a full grown man she would have to prove explicitly that he was on board with the plan, but she can't cos he is dead as a door nail

Modified: I just saw you used the word 'probably', which def suffices

The fact that he was a Jehovah's Witness at the time of his death is all the PROOF anyone needs if at all needed. A Jehovah’s Witness who wants transfusion is an exception

Britishpea:
What are you talking about There is no law that places spouse over family in case of healthcare decisions, on their spouses. Some medical facilities can only decide to lift the spouse a step ahead of the family in hierarchy but no law stipulates that. Family only respects the tradition of marriages in terms of such decisions. Yes a wife or husband can take whatever decision by him/herself and no one can castigate her or him for doing same way no law can castigate family’ if they do same.

Spouse is the number one family. What are you talking about?
You think one’s mom, dad or sibling will outrank the spouse in medical decisions?
That’s why you need to marry someone that likes you

GloriousGbola:
Vibes and God will make a way/ inshaAllah.

Not my portion. That's how we do. Also it's private hospitals that really do the signing thing. I don't think public hospitals have ant liability in naija. You get what you get.

Vibes and God

Truly what makes sense to one may make no sense to another .

It’s sad but it is what it is.

I once had a 17 year old patient whose parents wouldn’t give permission for her to be transfused as she lay there in the ICU dying. Heartbreaking doesn’t begin to define how I felt. It’s not like they didn’t love her, but they were concerned that transfusing her would condemn her in the afterlife and they believe the resurrection is better to look forward to than this present existence.

Had to get the ethics team involved and we had talks about emergency legal emancipation from her parents so she could make her own decisions. It was a mess.

Kobojunkiee:
Apart from the law, right and wrong becomes subjective. Following her belief, she is probably convinced she is righteous in her decision. Throwing such things as tradition and norms at others only holds meaning if they also subscribe to the same set of norms and traditions that you do.

As for who owns the man, the man owned his own self...and he chose ti sign it away to the JW ideology.

This is indeed a sad situation but their isn't anything that can be done at this point. The woman was rightly her husband’s guardian by law and she choose to uphold their religious belief over whatever standard others may have or belief in. There is really nothing to that can be rightly done about that.

Pecoleee345:
The husband too is also a jehova witness but he didn't take the decision clearly cause he was semi conscious.

Oh so he was one too, well there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Which leaves me to wonder, does the surgery team not go over this with the patient prior to surgery? There’s a place for the patient to sign before they go to surgery stating if they would like blood or not. And in case the need arises, they already know what to do based on the patient’s decision

Was he a Jehovah’s witness as well?
If yes then he probably already had that conversation with her and they agreed that neither of them or their kids would get blood under any circumstances

If he wasn’t a Jehovah’s Witness, then she’s wrong and the family can sue her for damages

Pecoleee345:
Should A Wife Be Allowed To Take A Big Decision Without Informing Her In-law?

Good afternoon everybody.i will make this short as possible.

A friend of mine just died in luth (cause of that was anemia). He was operated upon and they told his wife to get blood (2 r.o) for transfusion after the procedure but due to being a jehova witness she decided not to get the blood (jehova witness don't take blood,is against there faith).

She had a back and forth about the blood with the doctors and was asked to sign incase anything happen which she sign without the husband family knowledge....it was only her and her fellow jehova witness that took the decision.

He passed away this midnight, she called her in-law to inform them and I also got the information from the deceased younger brother.

On getting here the family found out the surgery was successful but he died of anemia, the doctors told them it was the wife decision not to get him blood against there prescriptions and infact she signed taking responsibility if anything happens.

A serious fight is happening here, the family are claiming she killed there son which I totally agree to as well.

So this my question, should a wife be allowed to take such a big decision without informing the husband family first.

Note; it was her in-laws that were paying the hospital bills.

pocohantas:
Maybe they want the men to come marry them instead. Don’t blame them.

You know what they say

Kobojunkiee:
She is a leech even though some cultures still consider it an indictment against the man that his wife should work?
She is a leech even though Chinedu may have had himself demanded she stay home to take care of the kids as many still believe a wife should?

Some of you are simply lost causes.

That’s why any woman who listens to them only has herself to blame. Their default position on any issue is the position that mocks and apportions blame to the woman no matter what choice she makes out of her available options

It’s like “abroad” women stole their cookie or something. They are always so hateful and rejoice whenever they think something bad had happened to a Nigerian woman who lives abroad.

ImaIma1:
You should know their mindset from their comments. Rejoicing because a woman was abandoned and even ignorantly assuming that she's ar fault. Nairaland has twisted many minds and made them lack the capacity to judge and comment objectively.

PDPGuy:
There is o!
A man that feels that he has to pay over the odds to win the affection of a woman is a simp.


I can bet that 99% of these men cannot woo a lady, so they resort to cash to “buy” her attention (including sex)

Ah but you don’t get it. They say that’s what being an alpha is. AKA “hiGh vAlue mAn”.

No personality. Not emotional growth. Not likable, or sensitive to the woman’s needs etc etc . Just make a bunch of money and get any woman you want. That’s they message they’ve been passing. Meanwhile they don’t know (like you said) that it takes a true alpha to get a woman without having to buy her.

PDPGuy:
Sad fact

there’s no such thing as a SIMP

LesbianBoy:
Almost all men in Nigeria want to steal or commit crime and women is their motivation!

So almost all Nigerian men are… SIMPS?

madridguy:
Madam we are over dragging this mere issue. To cap it all, I challenge you to bring any story of any man that betrayed his wife after taking him abroad. I have more than enough story of " I regretted bringing her abroad " that grace the FP of this forum.

The way you have so many “stories” of I regretted bringing her abroad is the same way you have multiple stories of children being abandoned by their dads. So you truly don’t know the truth. Your bias just made you decide which story you want to believe. That’s all I’m saying.

Some of the ones that are regretting bringing her abroad are regretting because they are not nice to their wives and can get checked for misbehaving. So even if he regrets, is it for a good reason? Or is it because he feels limited in what he can get away with? So that’s not even a valid argument

madridguy:
Do you have the real gist? Do you think a man will just wake up one day and tricked his wife and kids back to Nigeria and abandoned them?

It’s hard for you to imagine that. But it’s not hard for you to imagine that the woman is troublesome. Like I said, pure evidence of your bias.
You think his action must be justified but can’t imagine her actions (if she was troublesome) being justified

You’ve never seen a man abandon his family and children for years because he met a new woman? Something thats not even rare.
Why is it hard to imagine him being the issue but easy for you to assume it must be her? The answer is BIAS